Title: Welcome to the Family

Author: lil gillian

Rating: PG- only a few bad words.

Spoilers: Every episode just to be safe.

Writers note: I hope you like it. Please review. I was trying to be funny. I hope it is.

You came home yesterday. I don't know why. Why couldn't you just stay at the hospital. Everyone keeps saying "OH MY GOD, SHE'S SO CUTE!" I just don't see it. I guess because I'm your big brother I have to take care of you. Just so you know, I'm not going to change your diaper. That's Mommy and Daddy's job.

I walk into your room. All the family and friends are in the living room and their boring me. I walk over to the toy chest and pull it right next to the crib so I can stand on it. I look over the bar and there you are. Looking right at me. Daddy says you look like Mommy but I don't see it.

"Hi Kate". I say to you but you look at me like I'm crazy.

"I'm your big brother William Scully Mulder... um, I'm 6 years old. Almost a man." I say and you start to laugh at me.

"What are you laughing at?" You stop laugh but you still smile at me.

Mulder POV

I walk out of the bathroom. It was the only way to get away from everyone. Scully and Me invented Maggie, Skinner, The lone Gunmen, and Charles to celebrate the home coming of Kate. I still can't believe I have a daughter now. She has the most beautiful blue eyes and the most pretty red hair that I ever seen. Just like her mother.

"Mulder, what's taking you so long." Says Scully.

"Had to use the bathroom." I say. Then I hear a laugh. But not a regular laugh a baby laugh.

"Did you hear that." She says.

"Ya." We walk to the door of Kate's room and peer in. There we see William talking to Kate.

"What are you laughing at" he says. Me and Scully look at each other and try to hold our laughter. And we listen to him speak to his new sister.

"You know if your going to be living here you better be good. You have to make your own bed because if you don't Mommy will put you on time out. And trust me she will. If Daddy likes you he won't put you on time out as much as Mommy. His like a kid himself but don't tell Mommy that." I say. You just stick your hand in your mouth.

"Did you know that Mommy and Daddy work at the FBI. But noone really likes them because they work on the X-files. X-files are unexplainable cases. Some have to do with aliens too. Do you believe in aliens Kate. In this house you have to believe but it's okay if you don't at first. Mommy didn't at first. Daddy said it was because she was stubborn but he said his charm fixed that."

Mulder POV

"Your charm Mulder. You really think that's what got me to believe." She whispers. Shit. I in trouble now! Thanks a lot William. Father and Son's are supposed to stick together.

"Sshhhh. I want to hear."

"Mommy and Daddy got married 2 years ago. Uncle Melvin said because they didn't get married before I was born that I'm an bastard child. Maybe your one too. But Mom and Dad were married already when you were born. You can be a bastard if you want to. I think Daddy is one too because at Grandma's Christmas Party Uncle Bill called Daddy a dirty bastard. Is there a difference between an bastard and a dirty bastard. Uncle Bill says a lot of things I don't understand to Daddy. Like when Mommy said she was having a baby he said "You asshole. You knocked up my sister". I thought you could only knock on doors and wood." I say. You yawn and you start to close your eyes.

"Good night Katie." I say and turn around to see Mommy and Daddy at the door smiling and laughing.

"Nice talk William." Mommy says laughing.

"Why are you laughing. I was having an important talk with my sister. And then she falls asleep on me.... Mommy what does knocked up mean. Did Daddy knock you up?" I say. I really don't know what it means.

"NO, Daddy didn't knock me up."

"Then what does it mean." Mommy and Daddy just look at each other. I have a feeling that this is going to take awhile.

(How was it! Did it suck. Was it good. Just press that button that says REVIEW and tell me.)