I don't own final fantasy 8's storyline- characters or locations- Squaresoft owns them if you didn't know that already so I'm definitely not making money from this.
Authors note. I want this to be a decent story. I'm writing this to explain a before you start reading.
I can't- I repeat I can't write a story without thinking that at least one person is reading this. Despite the fact some write for enjoyment I want to offer my own version of what I think could happen after the game.
So many people ignore the fact Rinoa is a sorceress and Squall is a SeeD. This presents a problem to me. I think they should be together in fact this is about their relationship.
Guilt
Worlds change rapidly with time
Time is not slow nor is it fast
But there is no in between
We are all swept through life in tides
With new changes in every wave
-Where can I climb ashore?
The early morning was quiet and undisturbed. Squall preferred it that way. The quad was the closest he could get to an outdoor environment with the airborne Garden flying over the Centran Sea so he chose there. The quad was still damaged; nobody else was allowed there. This explained why there were no other students there and gave a reason as to why Squall was there. He wanted to be alone- to think. It was quiet enough here to do so.
For so long he had been alone. Now he had friends and a girlfriend and everything to live for. So much so he didn't really know how to deal with it. That was why he was taking time to think. From a life as monotonous and what would be 'boring' for the likes of Selphie to one where he had to make new decisions everyday, ever changing- it was a drastic change that he just couldn't believe or adjust to easily.
He sighed and walked down the decorated steps. As long as he could remember there had been painted patterns on the path. Then again that didn't say much- he had little to remember since using GFs. But he had stopped using them now and hoped to slowly regain his memories. Even if they weren't always happy.
Rinoa had taught him that. He smiled; Rinoa was one thing in his life he didn't want to change. He was glad she was there- one steady person in his life of upheaval. To be honest his feelings for her had knocked him for six when he first realised them- the day when Rinoa had gone into a coma. It was almost re-living the anguish of when Ellone had left. When someone left you began to feel how much impact they made in your lives- and you couldn't take them for granted anymore.
He tried not to be the same as before but he was not much different from meeting Rinoa. A person couldn't change all at once. It took a lot of conscious effort to change and Squall realised that. More importantly so did Rinoa. He had entered the relationship blindly and then the fears had set in; would she try to change him? Would a relationship affect his judgement as commander? Was it wise to be dating anyone at all?
The view in Garden regarding relationships was that it was to be avoided. For a while it had puzzled Squall whether he should be in one or not because he wanted to be with Rinoa so much but his duty was strong to Garden. It had been all he had known for most of his life.
He wasn't actually allowed in the quad. He had decided that being the commander he had the privilege to do so. If he was caught by anyone he could invent some story about surveying the damage as Selphie had been pestering him about where the Garden festival would be taking place this year. He wondered what would be better- moving Selphie's festival to another area or just fixing the damage that had been sustained in the battle between the Gardens. Selphie was persistent and now had Irvine helping her in her mission; she couldn't start preparing for the festival until there was somewhere for it to be held.
They would have no missions for a while- it was to give them a break from their last mission, all the better for everyone involved. Quistis was now fighting her dismissal as an Instructor- she had to have done something right because Squall and Selphie had been in her class and made it as SeeDs. Nobody really knew why she was doing this- she didn't want to be an Instructor again but as she told Squall it was a bad mark on her record so she wanted to change it. Or at least find the reason for her dismissal. She suspected they had been lying to her in regard to why she was now only a SeeD.
Not that Squall cared. What happened to them wasn't his concern anymore- he would try to resign as commander but if that didn't work he would know he had tried- Rinoa now knew how he felt about the promotion and was insisting he go and try to get rid of it. There were plenty of people who might actually like the job. Squall was a SeeD not a leader- they were completely different to him.
Behind him someone was catching up with him. He turned around to see who it was and saw Rinoa- she smiled and sped up. Her boots were clicking a little on the floor- that's how he had heard her despite her best efforts to stay quiet. The weather could reach all areas of the quad and the wind blew her hair as she headed towards him.
It was actually rare to be able to spend time with Rinoa alone. Squall was sick and tired of going around Garden with Rinoa and seeing people staring at them- either with their jaws hanging in surprise or smirks that Squall was actually dating someone. Then there had been the occasional idiot who shouted abuse at Rinoa- usually someone whose life had been affected by Ultimecia. It was amazing in these situations how much Cid had helped. He had spoken to the offender in such a way as to make them ashamed and then dismissed them in disgrace when all squall wanted to do was punch them.
"You're up early." She smiled as she finally reached him. The wind had calmed down a bit but she looked cold- he noticed she was shivering a little. He began to pay attention to the temperature- it was cold but he hadn't really felt it. He wondered how much else he could block out just because he was wrapped up in his own thoughts. Had he ever ignored Rinoa like that? She put up with him; she knew you couldn't change a person overnight but it concerned him quite a bit.
"So are you." He wondered something, "What are you doing here?" She smiled and her hand went up to her hair- trying to untangle it. Squall could see it was a waste of time, the wind hadn't stopped and she hadn't tied it up.
"I saw you coming here- this place has restricted access you know," She paused and pretended to look at him sternly, "what makes the commander so special that you can break Cid's orders?"
"Technically he's not in charge anymore." Rinoa frowned. Squall hadn't kept the bitterness out of his voice; she had tried to persuade him not to be angry about his promotion several times before but he wasn't happy about the arrangement.
"He is in spirit though." Squall rolled his eyes- whatever, only Rinoa would say that- except maybe Selphie…or Irvine. "He's been in charge of Garden so long, most people still look at him as a leader- and he helps with the management side of things."
"Yeah but when it comes to battle situations he leaves it to me." Rinoa sighed; she had made her opinion on the subject perfectly clear hundreds of times before and now she would repeat it.
"Squall that's because he doesn't normally lead battles-" she cut him off from his well rehearsed argument. "When did he ever need to? Garden was never attacked- he probably thought your grades meant you'd be good in a battle situation." He looked as though he still didn't believe her.
"I'm eighteen, I don't need this."
"Squall when did your age come into this?" She stared at him until he realised she wouldn't carry on until he looked at her, he looked up slowly and then she continued. "You've never acted like a teenager in the whole time I've known you- and from what I hear you never have." Here he interrupted her, his blue eyes piercing into her own.
"You think I want to be older?"
"I never said that. I'm saying you're just making excuses." Squall looked confused. His hand went to his forehead in the same movement as it had when she'd first known him, before they were together. "What?" She asked, curious.
"Do you think I should still be commander then?" He lowered his arm and she realised how much her opinion mattered to him. He would probably stick with the job and be bored stupid with it for the rest of his life as long as she said yes. It was far too much influence to have over someone and it almost made her back off.
"Squall…" She recovered quickly and shook her head, letting more hair grow tangled in the wind, "I don't think it's my decision to make. What do you want to do?" He shook his head in response to her question.
"I don't want to be commander… but I want to do the right thing." Again, that curiosity.
"Why would being the commander be the right thing?"
"Because Cid obviously thinks I should have the job and I owe Garden a lot," He ran his hand through his hair, a gesture new to him. She wondered where he had learnt it. "I thought this job would be temporary but when Cid and Edea came back they didn't say anything about me standing down. I don't like the attention." She nodded and let him continue, holding back a comment.
"We go anywhere and they stare at us. In the corridors, the cafeteria, the dormitories- they stop and talk to me when they haven't once paid attention to me before even when I was in their classes and I hate being noticed." Rinoa was looking worried. She didn't realise the emotion showed in her expression and Squall stopped before continuing with the next part of what he had to say. "Rinoa? What's the matter?"
"Squall, why does my opinion matter so much to you?" She stared at him waiting for a reply. He didn't understand half of what she was talking about but he sensed the seriousness radiating off of Rinoa and was silent. She wanted an answer though. "Squall?"
"It doesn't…" He stated uncomfortably, hoping it would be enough. It wasn't though.
"It does! Don't pretend it doesn't- Squall- why?" He was afraid now. Of what a little conversation had started, somehow he had caused a major problem in his relationship judging from Rinoa's face. He was still trying to figure out what was the matter with his own reasoning. Somehow in all his years of intensive training he hadn't learnt how to deal with people. He couldn't interpret what they thought behind false smiles, he didn't know how to say the right thing.
"I don't want to make the wrong decision." What had he said- she looked visibly relieved. Squall was equally so. He wanted to know what he had said to make her afraid. She ran up to him despite the distance between him being very short and ran into his arms for a hug.
She was still for a moment and then smiled. Everything was okay, what she'd been afraid of hadn't been the case at all. Most of all since she'd inherited her powers was that they would manifest themselves despite her intentions. Squalls reliance on her decisions might have meant she was unconsciously manipulating him.
Having powers she could barely understand terrified her more than anyone could imagine but in times like these she felt fine, Squall always made her feel less afraid because he had saved her several times and knew he would do anything for her. But being directly responsible for that loyalty and strength of feeling was not something she wanted. Not at any cost. Squall's arms were around her even though he was confused. He couldn't know though, he couldn't understand.
The war had bred misery and destruction; and the SeeDs would soon feel the after effects.
A/n –there! First chapter done. Let me know what you think please! I know I can't compare with the likes of Jeremy Chapter or Ashbear to name a couple of the authors I admire but I think I've improved on my first attempt. Read and review!
