Padmé never married Anakin. And this pretty much changes everything, making the universe lighter and destroying everything else.
WARNING: explicit sex.
Fading away
Obi-Wan
It is three years, one month and ten days that Obi-Wan Kenobi is fighting in the Clone Wars. And it is about six months since he last saw the Jedi Temple. Sometimes, he thinks that there was nothing before that damned war and that he just dreamed about a life with a young and happy Padawan.
(The truth is that he is extremely tired.)
He would like to be able sleep or to properly meditate. He wishes he could just dispel the entire war into the Force, and just go back to whatever he did before.
(He is worried for Anakin these days, sickly worried.)
And he misses his old master, Qui-Gon Jinn and their conversation about philosophy and the living Force. He misses debating ethics, just for the sake of debate (and he misses him and his gentle touch but that, well, that was a life ago).
But there is another assignment from the Council, and a new mission to accomplish and they have just been called. He fights and gets dirty and he loses a little bit more of his ethics.
(How long since you last were in Coruscant? Anakin?)
He looks up to Anakin; his hard looks, his constant frown, the hard set of his jaw and the scar on the right eye that will never really go away. The younger man is tense, but he is ready for yet another battle, discussing plans with his Capitan and considering alternative strategies. Anakin rubs his chin, deep in thought, and Obi-Wan sights. Anakin is 23 years old and usually boys his age go to the university and ask girls out.
(He is still younger than I was when I took him)
And yet Anakin is there, on that ship, preparing a risky battle strategy, with all the weight of the universe on his shoulders. He frowns over the plans and Obi-Wan sees his right hand –his saber's hand- tremble a little. He can feel Anakin's fear trough their bond, no matter how hard the younger Jedi tries to conceal it.
He is now summoning his own apprentice ("Where is she Rex? Call her, tell her I need her on the bridge now!") and Obi-Wan asks himself again what he is doing here. Anakin glances at him, his expression hard and a fierce fire in his eyes, and his saber's hand is now perfectly still.
Obi-Wan knows that he is an exceptional swordsman and a little trembling does not mean anything.
(But he asks himself why he is letting them doing that to children).
Ahsoka is there in a minute, and she is as ready to fight as her master is; she seems tired but determinate and full of energy as she always is. She is 17 and she has lost the most part of her innocence; but she still grins at Anakin with delight and affection and Obi-Wan is grateful for that.
He grins back, connecting with her in their own special way. (What will happen to the other if one of them dies?)
"Ready, Snips?"
"As always, General Skywalker" she answers, mocking the serious tonality everybody else gets when they address to Anakin.
(She does not call him Master, because she is his Commander and he is a General and they are not Jedi anymore).
They win the battle, as usual, as ever, making the Republic hold, even if it has already fallen under corruption and politics. Six months later they are still winning and General Kenobi admits at least to himself what he has been thinking for the past two years or so.
He watches Ahsoka fight and she is so like her master. She is angry and she is violent and she seems almost feral, a beast, whose very life depends on her ability to kill and to kill again. That is not the Jedi way, but he cannot really blame Ahsoka, because it is very much the Anakin way. He is destroying and smashing and slashing and threatening and he seems desperate but he is winning and nobody is going to stop him.
(He is losing himself down here, but he is saving the Republic)
Anakin is teaching her and he is teaching by example. Obi-Wan fears that the worst mistake he has ever made is suggesting that Anakin should take an apprentice during a war. He thought it would do him good; an apprentice would slow him down a little, make him less reckless and would help him mature as Knight. Knock some sense in that stubborn head.
(You did this, Kenobi. You wanted to save him and you gave him Ahsoka, because you were so terrified that he would get himself killed)
He decides to speak to him; after all, they are the Team and Anakin has to listen to him.
"What do you mean?" Anakin retorts angrily.
"Anakin" Obi-Wan sights again: "She is angry. She fights using her anger to fuel her attacks… She is walking a dangerous path and you know it…"
(He is such an hypocrite –what about your apprentice, Kenobi?)
"Ahsoka seems fine to me" Anakin's eyes narrow.
"She's not –she is losing herself to this war and…"
But Anakin interrupts him with a brisk gesture: "Is she injured?"
"What do you mean? No, I'm just saying…"
"Well, then I do not see your point" Anakin is not looking into his eyes anymore.
"Anakin, anger is not the Jedi w-"
"Oh really?" Anakin makes eye contact again, furious and defensive "Is the Jedi way going to save Ahsoka? Is our wise and most ancient philosophy going to help her?"
Obi-Wan is speechless.
"And tell me, Master" the word is full of mocking contempt and Obi-Wan feels his heart sink a bit "Is our most respected Jedi council going to stop the war and take Ahsoka out of this mess, so she can be the righteous defender of peace she is supposed to be?"
Anakin is almost trembling with anger now and silence falls between them. Obi-Wan looks like he has been physically slapped.
"Look" says Anakin, after a moment, as if conscious of having crossed an invisible limit: "I know she is letting.. umh.. her emotions take the best of her. But I cannot tell her now to be mindful of her emotions, because this is not an exercise, this is not training… this is a war, Obi-Wan"
(Words sometimes elude even the best of diplomats –Some negotiator, Kenobi)
"What if trying to follow the Jedi way she misses a blast in battle? What if she dies, for not shooting first, because it is not the Jedi way?" Anakin looks at him, clearly searching for approval or for permission. It's like he is sixteen again and he is preying his Master to let him get a tattoo.
The older man lowers his gaze.
Obi-Wan knows that he should have expected this but the truth is that he did not. He is older and he remembers what it was like before; he remembers what a Jedi is supposed to be like and these memories prevent him from going mad from self-doubt. Anakin was not a man yet when the war started, and Ahsoka was just a little girl. They have nothing to hold on, they are not sure of what they are going to do, once this nightmare has ended. They both trust Obi-Wan, but he doesn't know how to help them.
They have become soldiers together, General Skywalker and Commander Tano.
Anakin touches his shoulder as if to let him know that he is still human, still his best friend, and that he is still Anakin.
"When this war is over, she will be herself again" he says, but he sounds delusional, even to himself: "When we won't be in this mess anymore, I'll teach her the proper way". Obi-Wan nods slowly and wonders if Anakin still remembers the proper way.
They fight and they keep fighting, losing clones, friends and killing in an endless massacre. They do that for weeks, months, years.
Obi-Wan is not often on the field these days –there are few Masters left in the Council. But every time he is back with Anakin and Ahsoka it is like he never left. The smell of blood, the clenching of droids, the terrible noise, the bombs exploding, the fighting for every inch of every planet of every system. And Anakin who does not even pretend anymore to be a Jedi; he kills sentient beings and droids alike. To decompress after battles he drinks with his men, he does not meditate.
He has stopped teaching Ahsoka proper sabers' technique, but instead he trains her to kill their enemies. He imitates Dooku's or Ventress's style of fighting –so she'll be ready next time. He does not ask Obi-Wan to teach her philosophy or politics or diplomacy –because, really, this is a war and she is no spoiled princess who needs to know all these pretty things to make a good impression. But he is teaching her Huttese and they try together to imitate the dialects of the worst scum in the galaxy. He is teaching her mechanics and some useful flying tricks and she is a fast learner –and she thinks that Anakin was right all along.
"Anakin" Obi-Wan nods in his former apprentice's direction. Anakin greets him with a weak smile.
"Nice to see you again, Master" is tone is cheerful -his eyes are sad.
Obi-Wan wishes he could simply take Anakin into his arms and tell him that everything is going to be fine. Once upon a time, a hug was everything he needed to calm Anakin down and to make things good again.
Obi-Wan grins "Would you like some sparring?" he offers.
Anakin's face lightens up, almost despite himself.
"Well" he considers "I could use a distraction and you need exercise, old man"
Obi-Wan chuckles and he is grateful that sometimes he can still see the boy he trained in Anakin's tense expression. Once the war is over, Obi-Wan hopes that Anakin will leave the Jedi Order. He could be a good mechanics and he could marry and start a family. He would be a good father, Obi-Wan thinks. Ahsoka could simply join Barriss and devote herself to healing techniques, leaving all the fighting behind. They could be happy again.
The Holonet
They get the announcement almost casually, one lazy afternoon on the Twilight, waiting for orders. The Holonet is on and it's delivering all the shitty propaganda they all have grown tired with. According to the anchorwoman, the war effort is going well and they are really close to the final victory.
(They are not close and they are not even winning)
Ahsoka wants to shut the damn thing off, together with the grave tone of the woman speaking. She's about to complain about it with Anakin, but he is reading a report and probably not even listening to the "news". If he was, Ahsoka reflects, he would have probably smashed the fucking thing down.
"But now let's talk about lighter matters" the anchorwoman says cheerfully "Senator Amidala is again on the spotlight! Today she confirmed the rumors that fled around her in the last few months! Here is the service!"
Anakin is now interested, as always when the pretty Senator's name is mentioned. Ahsoka finds slightly annoying that her master behaves like a love-sick puppy whenever she's around. Anakin, in Ahsoka's opinion, is way much cooler when he drops the serious and well-mannered façade he puts on to try to impress the senator.
"We can say that the signs were there, and the gossip magazines could read them! Rumors said that Senator Amidala has stopped drinking alcohol and we all could see as she abandoned her precious and fashionable corsets to wear more loose-fit dresses! And today she confirmed the good news!"
Ahsoka's brain registers the words, but she cannot really understand them at first. She feels Anakin's shock through the Force and when comprehension strikes her, she has to fight the urge to kick her master's ass. She thinks stupidly that she hopes to be reassigned to Master Plo Koon.
Horrified, Ahsoka watches Padmé giggle in front of the cameras, more beautiful than ever before: "It was quite unexpected, yes" she says with a silly tone that is not at all like her "Clovis and I had been back together for a short time when we found out!" she smiles at the audience and Ahsoka almost expects to see her force-chocked from distance, but Anakin seems too shocked to have any kind of reaction.
"You see" Padmé's voice continues, unstoppable and sweet "We wanted to tell our families first, and we wanted to protect our privacy… But now, it is quite obvious, isn't it?" she adds, hinting at her grown belly: "I'm six month pregnant!" Amidala lets out a small laugh, and Ahsoka feels like she is laughing at Anakin's face, struck here in the middle of nowhere, fighting a war to protect her fucking senate, this fucking Clovis and her fucking child.
Six months pregnant. Ahsoka is not good at math, but she can count and she knows that six months ago Anakin was already here on this same mission. He must be thinking exactly the same, because he waves his hand and shuts the Holonet down.
The silence between them is like an open admission and the truth is as evident as Anakin's pain. His end of their bond is now heavily shielded, but Ahsoka feels all the same like an intruder to witness such display of grief. She would like to say some comforting words, to make some supporting gestures, but they are Jedi and he is not supposed be in pain, as she is not supposed to know all too well what it feels like being jealous and angry and broken-hearted.
"You know" she says, before she can stop the words "You promised me we would spar today". This, she can offer; a distraction.
He looks at her darkly and she holds her breath. "Yes" he says, surprised and grateful.
It makes Ahsoka feel somewhat warmer.
"You fight me this time" Anakin informs her "No boring droids exercises".
Three hours later, Ahsoka lies in her bed, feeling sore, every muscle screaming with pain and fatigue. She is almost dizzy with tiredness, but she still feels Anakin's disbelief and pain echoing in the Force and sleep eludes her as well.
Anakin is tinkering with some droids, desperately looking for something to fix. He does not even try to sleep, knowing that it would be an useless effort. He is furious and hurt, but deep down he cannot really blame Padmé. No woman could have endured forever what he was asking from her; a life of secrecy, a life of longing, a life without children, without a proper home. A life waiting for the announcement of his death, for which she could not even cry in public.
And she had been honest with him, she had told him that it was over and that things could not really go on this way. What she had omitted was the fact that another man was involved, but Anakin is not even sure that she actually cheated on him –she is too pure, too honest, too kind for that.
Probably it is exactly why she never married him, no matter how hard he offered to make things between them honest. She knew it would end sooner or later and that all the love she had –she said to have- for Anakin would not be enough.
Anakin really wants to slaughter Clovis and then cut him in pieces, mainly because the man is having the life that was supposed to be his. For a moment there, he wishes that Padmé was only a maid, and he an obscure pilot; he wishes that they could just trade all the powers and honors that come along with being a Jedi or a Senator, for a little freedom, for a life in their own hands.
He briefly thinks of Ahsoka, feeling a little guilty for how hard it was today training; no harm was done though, and Anakin clenches his fist wishing hard that everything was different.
Anakin and Ahsoka
They do have sex one time, one year after Ahsoka is knighted.
She had a crush on him those first years together; she was only a girl and he was handsome and young and cool. Besides, it is not uncommon for Jedi Padawans to develop innocuous interests for their masters. He has never thought of her in that way; she is still a little girl in his mind. And even after, when her body blossomed and she became a young woman, he was so used to focus on her shapes to detect and correct mistakes, that he simply did not notice her sexual appeal.
She approaches his bed that night and lies besides him. (And there is nothing strange, they have slept together other times, when the space was just not enough). He grins at her and shifts to make her more room. They are almost happy because they have won and they haven't lost too many lives.
They lie there, in silence, enjoying each other's company. They have been together in that damned war for more than eight years now, but they have shared so much more. They have fought and they have won together. They have saved each other's skin and they have risked everything for the other. They have learnt to ignore the overwhelming sensation of having sacrificed their ideals and their honor to fight a war which is not theirs. (I won't tell anything to the Council. Mace fucking Windu can come and see for himself what the fuck is happening here!).
They have forgotten together what it means to be a true Jedi –Snips, don't cry, Snips, stop… You did what you had to, to protect the clones, your men, and yourself. Because, and now it is so obvious, the important thing in this war is to survive, no matter what. Survive and save the people you love –because Jedi forbid attachments, but you cannot stop loving, anymore than you can stop breathing.
They do not really think about what they'll do after the war. They both know that they will never be the same again; they are too damaged and hurt. They have seen too many things to just forget, and they know that the nightmares will never go away.
But at least they have each other. And it is looking into his blue eyes, and his young face, that Ahsoka realizes that she is going to kiss Anakin Skywalker. At first he freezes, not quite realizing what's happening. His first impulse is to stop the kiss, because she is Ahsoka, and she is his student and she is too young for me.
Ahsoka chuckles. I'm not, I'm twenty-two and you are only six years older than me.
He closes his eyes and starts kissing her back and, oh, he is so Anakin. Fast, hard and passionate. He caresses her tights and gently bites her lower lip. She slides her hand under his tunic and explores his smooth chest, unconsciously looking for the small scar he has very near his heart. They kiss and bite and caress. He grows impatient and thanks the Force for Jedi stamina –he hasn't had any sex in six months and he thinks that Ahsoka deserves something more than five minutes.
Anakin is now on top of her, and his hand is between her legs. His touch is gentle and it is obvious that he is not new to this kind of practices. She moans in pleasure when he slides a finger –and then two- into her. She appreciates his touch and thinks that he is indeed a good lover. She inverts their positions because she is really close and they haven't even started yet. She looks into his eyes and grins to him, bending to kiss him one more time. She is so accustomed to him, to his presence, to his smile that it is not even embarrassing thinking that they are having sex.
She decides that it is her turn to show her skills –her aroused mind suggesting her make your master proud. She starts kissing his chest, then his stomach and his belly, enjoying the sight of his perfect body and the curve of his muscles. She leaves a trail of small kisses on his body and she bites a little and he must guess what she has in mind because she feels their bond explode with arousal.
She grins and while she sucks and licks, and he moans under her, she thinks that no pretty senator would probably have done that to him. She prides herself in thinking that she has no problem in giving a blowjob to Anakin –the pretty senator didn't, it was enough a concession to let him adore her. She sees him bite his lips in pleasure and thinks that he deserves that.
(Ahsoka used to be so jealous of Padmé, of her elegant manners and her fancy dresses and the look of total veneration Anakin reserved for her. She felt so clumsy and ugly and stupid when Senator Amidala was around. She hated Padmé so much when she let Ahsoka understand how intimate she really was Anakin)
He stops her, he's enjoying it too much.
He lifts himself and takes the top again. He kisses her and plays with her breasts and her belly. He touches her again, drawing little circles around her clitoris; Ahsoka moans and trembles under his touch. They kiss and kiss again and it feels so right to be together that way. Then, almost suddenly he spreads her legs –and she loves it, she would not let anybody else take the charge, but this is Anakin and he would never hurt or humiliate her.
He is now into her and his trusts are becoming faster and deeper. After a while, he changes their position so he can masturbate her and fuck her at the same time. He is not like the others she has been with, they were all sweetness and respect and shyness. But this is Anakin and he does not care at all about manners; he will give her pleasure, the most he can, because he loves her and it is what he is supposed to do when he makes love.
She comes, letting out a little scream, not able to block it. She doesn't want to be caught, and she cannot remember if she has closed the door.
He finishes too, biting slightly her shoulder.
They lie there for a while, in silence, as they were before. They are strangely comfortable, their old bond shivering with affection and satisfaction. He turns to kiss her cheek and she closes her eyes, thankful for that small show of love.
Nothing is changed tonight, they are still friends and things won't get complicated. They both needed relief and they will steal every minute of peace they can get. Tomorrow they will wake up, he will shout orders around and she will be efficient and unstoppable.
"I'm an horrible person" Anakin states, laughing weakly.
"I totally agree" Ahsoka answers "but may I ask why?"
"Well, in case you didn't notice, I just slept with my apprentice" he explains, still laughing. She opens her mouth to protest, but he continues: "In the scale of bad things you can do as a Jedi, from one to ten, this is at least a four".
She rolls her eyes, more amused than annoyed: "First, I'm not your apprentice anymore, I'm a Knight as you are…"
"Right" he concedes "But…"
"And a lot of masters sleep with their Padawans when they still are master and apprentice!"
"Oh Snips, c'mon! Most of the time it is just silly rumors!" he is now laughing and for once the smile seems to reach his eyes too.
"It's true!" she wines, exactly as she used to do when she was only a girl and he was much younger and happier. (–Oh c'mon Master! No way, Snips, you won't get a tattoo! Obi-Wan would KILL me).
"And what about Master Kenobi and his Master?" she crosses her arms, covering her still naked breasts. She looks at him with a knowing grin, aware that discussing Obi-Wan sexuality makes Anakin uncomfortable. He waves his hand as to send the very thought away, but does not reply.
Silence falls again between them, and they both seem lost in thought. Ahsoka thinks lazily that they should wash, but then again they have been covered with things much more disgusting than sex. She remembers when he was shot and she remembers the heavy smell and the thickness of his blood. Ahsoka was not feeling him anymore and he was dying in her arms. He fell unconscious and she found herself incapable to breath.
Anakin thinks that he should feel guilty for having had sex with Ahsoka. He loves her, even if not in that way, and she was hot, beautiful and willing under his hands. She is not asking anything else from him, nothing more than what he can give. He gave her love, protection, relief, a shoulder to cry on, he kept her alive and he taught her well.
Ahsoka hopes that he won't regret this, because she is sure she won't. She has desired him since she was fifteen even if, as a girl, she was not really sure of what she desired from him.
They hear the familiar sound of Anakin's com.
"Skywalker here"
"Anakin?" it seems so strange to hear Obi-Wan delicate accent "They need us on Felucia, the Separatists have…" the details of the rescue missions go lost on Ahsoka's hears. She gets up, still naked and heads towards the 'fresher, leaving Anakin to deal with his former Master.
"… Tell Ahsoka to get ready, this will not be easy" concludes Obi-Wan worried voice.
"It is never easy, Master" he answers darkly.
Anakin sights, thinking that at least another impossible mission is probably what they need to go over the sex thing and go back to normal.
They will never speak of it again, and it never affects their relationship in any way. But he will tell Obi-Wan. "You are both adults and Knights, Anakin, if you were both willing I do not see the problem". He would like to tell him much more, to be aware of the dangers of attachment, but he is so tired of having that conversation with Anakin that he just drops the subject.
Obi-Wan and Padmé
It is funny that they ask him to tell her, but General Kenobi knows that he should have expected it. They have been good friends since when she was the young Queen of Naboo and he was still a Padawan learner. The Council does not know what he has done, and what he has asked her to do, but they will start to suspect something, now. He tells himself that it was the right thing to do.
"Milady" he greets her with a polite smile. Senator Amidala is not particularly happy to see Obi-Wan Kenobi because it reminds her of what she has sacrificed at his request and that still hurts. But she smiles anyway, conscious that Obi-Wan acted in their best interest.
"Would you like something to drink, Master Jedi?"
"Oh no, thank you, Senator"
They sit down, on her large couch and he seems tense.
"I think you know why I am here"
She smiles darkly, her sad eyes give him a hard look.
"I can imagine. But my answer is no."
"Padmé" he is the Negotiator after all and he knows that addressing people by their first name is a good way to gain their trust "I understand what you feel like. But this is an important matter…"
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan" she is as skilled as he is, long years spent in politics: "I think I gave enough to the Jedi Order. They will not have my children too."
"The midichlorian count of your children is too high to be ignored" he speaks the words he has already spoken to many other mothers before "They would make great Jedi".
She stiffens "I will not let you do with my children what they did to Anakin or to Ahsoka".
Obi-Wan sights, admitting to himself that she has a point and deep down he wants to protect Luke and Leia as much as she wants. They could just grow up wealthy and happy. Anakin would want his children safe and spoiled. But Anakin is not there, he does not know that he has three-years-old twins and probably hates Padmé for having left him.
"Padmé, you knew this would happen when you decided to keep the babies"
She looks offended, the very idea of getting an abortion outrageous, now that Luke and Leia are born and healthy. (But she had entertained the thought at first, Obi-Wan suggesting that this was a possible solution because they needed Anakin on the front lines and they needed Padmé fighting her own battles in the Senate. The Republic needed them.)
He tries again, making an effort to accomplish his task, not admitting that he really wants to fail this time: "Padmé, I am here as a representative of the Jedi Council and as your friend.. You know that I would not ask you this, but our situation is critical at best. We lost so many Jedi during this damned war and we have not enough younglings to fill the losses…"
"I will not let you take them!" She exclaims, good manners forgotten, because she is a mother now and her children are everything she has left.
"Your children have a great potential!" He retorts back.
She glares at him and Obi-Wan thinks that she hates him. You should have known better, before getting pregnant with Anakin's child. He is almost ashamed of what he thinks these days, out of rage.
"Master Kenobi" she hisses "You made me promise that I would never say the truth to anyone…You made me promise that even I would forget that they were Anakin Skywalker's babies... Well, General, I forgot and I do think that the Jedi Order can do without my children…"
"But they are, Padmé! I know what I said, but they are his children!"
"They are not!" she yells "You made me marry another man!" Obi-Wan can read her emotions: anger, bitterness, loss, plain desperation "You made me lie to everyone, to my family, to the Holonet, so he would think that I cheated on him, he would think I got pregnant when he was on a mission!"
"He would have left everything for you" he says, simply.
"I know, Obi-Wan" her voice is now low again, but she sounds even more desperate. Her eyes are now teary, but she has cried too many times for all the things that would never be.
"You still love him, don't you?" his voice his sad and sometimes he hates himself for what he has done to her, to them. She looks at him and he knows that yes, indeed, she still loves him. She stands.
"Good day, Master Jedi" her tone is formal again: "You will excuse me, but I have more pressing matters to attend to".
The Wedding
"Senator Organa" Dormè greets him with a little bow, her eyes big with worry.
"She asked of you, Senator" the maid looks like she wants to add something but she falls silent again. Bail follows Dormè through the grand salon, and then to the stairs, up to the bride private quarters. When they enter, Dormè bows again.
"Senator Organa, as you requested, Milady"
Padmé is beautiful in her white wedding dress, even if she looks pale and fragile as a bird.
Padmé nods "You may leave, Dormè" her tone is brisk and it is strange because she is never rude to her maids.
He sits beside her and takes her hands in his. Under all the make-up, it is clear that she hasn't slept in days. Or maybe it is just that Bail knows her too well and can read on her face her same emotion.
"Padmé" he caresses her "I'm here for you"
Padmé squeezes him "He's here" she whispers. Bail doesn't need to ask who he is. She told him everything, about Anakin, their relationship and the babies. She told him that she needed to find an husband soon and that was why she was back together with Clovis – even if as far as Bail was concerned, the reckless and young Jedi was still a better option than vicious Clovis.
"He is on Coruscant, yes" there's no point in lying.
"I can't" she sobs.
"Yes" he hugs her, stroking her back, as if she were just a frightened child "You are strong, Padmé, you can do this…"
The second Ahsoka touches Coruscanti soil, she wants to leave. She knew this would happen, but she had somewhat hoped that it would not be so public. Then again, she has to admit that she was just acting delusional because, of course, the wedding of a famous and young senator is of outmost importance. Anakin doesn't seem to notice anything –nor the posters or the holograms broadcasting a liver report of the ceremony. But Ahsoka knows better; he looks dark, darker than usual, and he has not spoken a word since they entered the atmosphere.
She sights. Basic verbal skills are eluding him and as soon as he finishes his report to the Council he disappears in the lower levels.
Ahsoka sighs again. She is left alone to herself again. She doesn't like to spend time on Coruscant and without Barris, it's even worse; she knows she is not Miss Popular in the temple. She is eighteen years old and she is not hurt by exclusion anymore, but she knows she'll get bored and annoyed. There are a lot of rumors about her and even more about Anakin. A lot of people think that he is not treated like everybody else just because he is the Chosen One. And that she is advantaged too, because she is his apprentice. Rumors about their legacy too and the darkness itself. Some stupid talks about Qui-Gon Jinn (Ahsoka's great great master) that make Obi-Wan sad and Anakin angry.
She is kind of a freak for herself too; with her advanced training in fighting and military strategy and her almost total ignorance of more philosophical and abstract matters she cannot fit well with the young Jedi who live in the Temple. She is no fool, and Anakin doesn't even pretend to have some knowledge to pass in those respects. He was humble enough to suggest weakly that she should take lessons from Obi-Wan or Padmé, but nothing came out of it.
Anakin would very much like to have two things. Asajj Ventress and a lot of alcohol. In that order, preferably. He would like to kick that harpy's ass –and possibly make her pass away in the most violent way he knows. He would enjoy a fighting as a socially acceptable way to take out his anger. He knows this is not the Jedi way and he is a little ashamed of it, but still. They would probably give him a medal –which he couldn't accept because Jedi do not crave such things as honor. And then of course, he would like to get as drunk as possible and lose his consciousness in drinking. Anakin has never really been drunk –ok, apart from that time when he was still a Padawan and wanted to do everything that his Master told him not to, just because. But today is just a special occasion. Padmé is getting married and he is not the broom. She's also pregnant.
This is like Anakin's failures celebration day. He may be an hero, he may have a Padawan, he may have status and power –but he lacks the thing he craves most. Love, the love the woman he worships and respects above all the others. He craves her. And he'll never have her again.
He looks up at the Coruscanti sky and hates everything he is.
Ok, I know this was strange –I'm ready for getting insulted XD anyway, read and review :D
