Naruto: The Ball Shot

Chapter 1: Cheap Vasectomy

"---" Speech

Italics Thoughts

Authors Note: I deeply apologize for the horrible piece of fiction you are about to read. I have only myself to blame and the alcohol that I drank last night. I conceived this idea in the morning when I awoke groggily. Again, my sincerest apologies to all males.

1

There is a street that is etched into Naruto's mind. To this day, and until his last living day he will remember it like it was yesterday. This street is nothing out of the ordinary, if you compare it to any other street that is Some streets are better, some streets are worse. Some streets are paved with asphalt, some are laid with cobble stones, and some have packed dirt. Some are lined with lights, some are lined with trees, and some are lined with bushes. Some are lined with shops of every kind, and some get the fantastic view of garbage cans and bags filled with leftovers or broken things. Some are boulevards, some are avenues, and some are alleys. Nonetheless, they are all streets.

Except for this street.

In every person's life there is a point when reality takes you for a ride and makes you deposit your vivid dreams and high hopes in the big black plastic bag, thank you very much. And while you are left with some of your old dreams, the obscene ones are gone. Reality will always prevent you from realizing them. And it is such it is with life; no one can live in this world being a dream. Most of us don't realize it; we just think we have grown up or become more mature. In essence, the two are the same. Regardless, it happens to all of us; some experience it early, some later, but most fall victim to realities joyride in their middle or late teens. From sixteen and up the future is beckoning and one realizes that there is more than just having fun in the world, although most cling to it desperately as long as they can.

Naruto was no more than fourteen when reality picked him up at the corner and showed him the world.

It was beautiful Sunday; the sky was clear blue with not a cloud in sight, it was warm, life was all around, and love was in the air. Naruto was as cheerful as always, not thanks to his everlasting bout of hyperemic character. He walked down the street with not a care in the world (except perhaps ramen). People buzzed all around him, tending to chores and whatnot. Here and there acquaintances would stop and talk to each other. Naruto's plans were rather limited for this particular day; in fact, they were pretty much nonexistent. There were no missions scheduled for today, and gods forbid he train on a Sunday. Sundays were supposed to be fun and games, after all. And so he wandered down the street with no particular goal in mind except for walking.

A person stepped out of a flower shop some way down the street, and Naruto immediately recognized who it was. No one could mistake that pink hair. Being fourteen Naruto had fallen victim to puberty. Instead of running up to Sakura as he would have when they were little he now took a moment to really look at her. His hormones leaped into action and Naruto found himself studying her finely shaped legs, the way her hips swayed when she walked, and not to mention that ass.

The moment passed and he ran up to her, shouting in his usual cheerful voice. "Sakura! Sakura!"

Sakura turned and waited for him to catch up. Naruto, in his senseless eccentric way, didn't notice the annoyed and part furious expression form on her face. "Hey." He said when he reached her. He smiled his best smile.

Two things happened then.

Firstly, instead of coming gradually to a stop, he stopped moving abruptly. Secondly, Sakura moved. Naruto couldn't grasp what had happened. It had all happened so fast. First now was he aware of Sakura's foot embedded firmly in his crotch and the growing pain coming from there. A tear leaked from the corner of his eye and then he dropped to the ground, clutching at his crotch.

"Ahhhh?ahhhh?" Naruto groaned, writhing on the ground, the pain seeping into his stomach and making him feel extremely unwell.

"Damn pervert." Sakura half growled down at Naruto, and then walked on with a rose in her hand. A man who had been watching guffawed with laughter at Naruto.

And that is why Naruto hates that street.

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