It's hard being so close to something you want, and yet, never being able to have it

It's hard being so close to something you want, and yet, never being able to have it. Before, I never realized how horrible the feeling could be until I walked into the third music room.

"Ayame, I don't think I can do this anymore." I muttered, my face red as she stood next to me. An instant reaction as she pushed open the music room doors was to hide just outside of sight. The thought of ever going to such a thing as a host club was hideously embarrassing and horrifying. My heart thudded in my chest and pounded through my ears as red spread across my cheeks in a thick blush.

Ayame slowed and trotted back to my side, "What are you going on about?"

Her voice was entertained and laughing, mocking me. I pushed the hair back from my eyes and tucked the loose strand behind my ear while fixing her with a pleading stare.

"Do we really have to go in there? It's so embarrassing!"

"Nonsense," she glared, "There is nothing embarrassing about a girl meeting a guy. It's not like you're dating them, although that would fulfill many fantasies if I was…"

The dreamy look clouded her eyes as she ignored my complaints and dragged me towards the doors of doom. She was intent on meeting one of the hosts, and I finally resigned to my fate and allowed her to pull my rag doll form through the doors. What I found, when I finally adjusted to the intense change in atmosphere, was simply beyond explanation.

Seven men. All sporting their own special attire and personalities on their sleeves were sitting and standing in the center of the doorway. Beyond them was an interior of something unrecognizable.

Somehow the students who created the host club had taken the time and effort to change a normal music room into something similar to a high-class restaurant. The room was filled with exactly seven large round tables made out of deep dark colored woods and golden-white tablecloths and napkins. Atop every table was a tray exquisitely laden with delicious sweets from all around the world. The men watched as Ayame pulled me, suddenly unwilling again, closer.

"Welcome," every one of them said in turn, "Miss Ayame, welcome back." A tall gentleman stood and focused his attention on her. His blond hair glistened as he eloquently bent to place a kiss on the back of her hand.

She grinned, "Hello again, Tamaki."

"I'm glad that my princess decided to finally return." His eyes held a look that told me that, for at least this second; he was completely and solely dedicated to her. "Life has been unbearable when I thought I had scared you away last week."

"I was busy." Ayame blushed beneath his gaze, "Father had be working with his confederates to ensure a major business agreement went through without fault. I couldn't come back."

"I'm glad you could return." His eyes veered towards me with new interest, sizing me up with a calculating glance, "Who is this you've brought?"

'Oh!" She guffawed, remembering my existence.

"A new client perhaps?"

"Yes. Her name is Luvia Suber, a German transfer, I want her to see what Ouran really has to offer."

Tamaki's face turned to one of complete and utter glee. "Welcome Miss Luvia! I'm ashamed to say that I was never aware that you had transferred to our school. What is your type?"

His hands gripped wildly around mine and I pulled back. Suddenly repulsed by his change of interests. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings though I noticed the instant shade of disappointment on his face.

"I'm an Aries."

Their blank looks made me instantly double back on my answer. He had asked me what my type was… right? After all what else am I supposed to say? The only 'type' I could think of was my horoscope, obviously, I scolded myself mentally, he had meant something else entirely.

Ayame quickly explained my misunderstanding and his face filled with tears. Before I could object I was surrounded by a massive, breathtaking, hug. And by breathtaking, I'm not being metaphorical. I literally couldn't breath as he rambled on about how foreigners were so adorable. I'm fairly sure I could feel my brain cells dying from lack of oxygen before he finally released me. His hand lingered along my jaw before he pulled away dramatically, his blond hair sweeping through the air.

"So lovely!" He cheered, "What type do you like? We have Hani, the child type, and Mori the silent type. In this corner we have Kyoya Othori, the intellectual. The Hitachin twins and their brotherly love; and Haruhi, the innocent type." His hand signaled to each of the members who, for the most part, put on their acting faces to fill their role as a part of the club. "Or…" his hand reached back to crawl along my chin, "Am I more of your type?"

Disgust enveloped my spine in a shudder. What type of place was this?

"No." Within .5 seconds of my lips moving he had vanished from my line of view to sulk in a far corner. My eyes were wide as I peered after him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings-"

"Don't worry about him," one of the twins laughed, and the other picked up the line, "He needs to be shot down every now and then."

"Besides. Your friend there is having fun trying to cheer him up."

It was true. Already Ayame and two other girls who had meandered inside were trying to cheer up the blond haired boy. They swooned at the sight of his falsely teary eyes. "It's just I don't think this place is really meant for me… At my old school they would have thrown stones at kids like you for trying to sell yourselves."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Kyoya said from his corner.

I stared at him, instantly focusing, "It is. But it also isn't right for you all to try to sell yourselves to these girls, you all are acting like prostitutes."

The twins burst into uproars of laughter. Kyoya even allowed a fraction of a smile to linger on his lips, "We aren't selling ourselves, our bodies are never violated in such a manor."

I watched him curiously.

"Being a prostitute doesn't mean you sell your bodies. If you sell even a part of yourself, it could be your body or even your mind or abilities, then you're no better than those who give their bodies for money." The room was silent.

Ayame appeared by my side at last and found a way to break the staring battle between Kyoya and me. He didn't say anything as Ayame pulled me away, throwing me at the mercy of the Hitachin brothers. "I've already paid for your visit so you may as well attempt to enjoy yourself."

Reluctantly I sat at the table and allowed myself to take note of the disgusting habits of 'Brotherly love.' How could they pretend to be interested in incest? It baffled me.

It didn't take long before I was too sick to stand the host club any longer. I excused myself as politely as I could and found the nearest exit I could. The room didn't lead me to where I wanted to go, unfortunately. It only led me deeper into the lives of the Ouran Host Club, enhancing the bond that forced me into their lives. For better or worse I would end up a slave to seven men, bound against my will.