IT WAS A BRIGHT SUNNY DAY. SGT. JOHNNY PETERSAN WAS TAKING A WIZZ IN THE LATRINE. HE HAD JUST BEEN DEPLOYED TO GRASSY FIELD, AKA THE BIGGEST BATTLE FIELD OF THE MUFFIN WAR. HE WAS 60 YEARS OLD BUT HE COULD STILL KICK ASS. HE BEAT UP THE ARMY RECRUITER WHEN HE FIRST JOINED. HE WAS BAD ASS. HE HAD A MORS ANTI-MATERIAL SNIPER RIFLE IN HIS POCKET THAT WAS AGAINST THE RULES, BUT HE DIDN'T CARE. AFTER A 7 HOUR WIZZ, SGT. PTERESAN WALKED OUT OF THE TOILET AND BEGAN TO RAPE SOME MUFFINS, BUT THEERE WERE NO MUFFINS. HE WENT ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONTLINES AND SAT IN A PUDDLE WITH 2 OTHER MEN, WAITING FOR THE MUFFINS. ONE OF THE MANS NAME WAS JOHNNY. THAT WASNT FAIR. THERE COULD ONLY BE 1 JOHNNY. SO SGT PETERSAN TOOK HIS MORS ANTI-MATERIAL RIFLE AND NOSCOPED THE GROUND, MAKING JOHNNY AND THE OTHER GUY DIE. HE WAS BADASS. SUDDENLY THE GROUND STARTED TO RUMBLE AND MUFFINS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND CHARGED AT SGT PETERSAN'S PUDDLE. OH NOOOOOO.

SGT PETERSAN KNEW THAT HE COULD NOT KILL ALL THE MUFFINS BY HIMSELF. THERE WERE LIKE 6 TRILLION MUFFINS FRESH FROM THE OVEN. SUDDENLY, 6 TRILLION ARMY GUYS RAN UP FROM BEHIND SGT PETERSAN AND STARTED UPPERCUTTING THE MUFFINS BUT THEN THE 6 TRILLION MEN WERE KILLED BY 1 BULLET. SGT PETERSAN WAS CONFUSED, ONLY HE COULD HAVE KILLED 6 TRILLION MEN. THEN THE SMOKE CLEARED AND HE SAW A BIG ROBOT MECH THING AND INSIDE WAS A MUFFIN MAN. OH NOOOO THE MUFFIN MEN WERE HERE. A MILLION-TRILLION MUFFIN MAN MECHS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND ALL AT ONCE SENT MUFFIN-MISSILES TOWARDS SGT PETERSAN. SGT PETERSAN SHOT 1 ROUND FROM HIS MORS ANTI-MATERIAL RIFLE AND SET OFF ALL THE MISSILES AND KILLED ALL THE MECHS. BOOOOOOOOM. THEN A JEEP CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND ALMOST RAN OVER SGT PETERSAN. "HEY, WATCH IT YOU COMMUNIST!" YELLED PETERSAN. BUT THEN, PRESIDENT DAVID BAZUKI COME OUT OF THE JEEP. "SGT PETERSAN, YOU ARE PROMOTED TO GENERAL. "OH MY GOOOOD THX DUDE!" SAID PETERSAN. DEN A GIANT MISSILE HIT THE JEEP AND PRESIDENT DAVID BAZUKI DIED. SGT PETERSAN WAS IN HORROR AS HE WATCHED THE PRESIDENT GET RIPPED IN HALF BY THE MISSILE. HE TURNED TO THE HORIZON AND SAW A BILLION GALIZZZIOZN TANKS! "YOU MUFFINS SHALL PAY" SAID GENERAL PETERSAN. HE STARTED NOSCOPING THE TANKS AND STARTED KILLING THE PEEOPELS BUT THEN AN ATTACK HELICOTPER CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND SGT PETERSAN DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND THEN A MUFFIN WITH C4 STRAPPED TO HIS CHEST JUMPED OUT OF THE GROUND AND BLEW UP. GENERAL PETERSAN FLEW ACROSS THE OCEAN AND FELL INTO ROBLOX HQ. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF TYLERMCBRIDE ARE YOU DOING HERE" SAID TELAMON. BUT GENERAL PETERSAN DID NOT RESPOND BECAUSE HE WAS HURT BUT NOT DEAD. OH NOOO.