This is my first story being posted. I've been wanting to write something for a while now. This idea kind of came to me when I was heading to school around 5 days ago, finally was able to write it a couple of days ago when my brother was watching a basketball match on TV.

By the way while you read you'll probably realize Joy's life isn't so bad, but later on on the story you'll see how it really is. And also you'll get to see more of Joy's thoughts

WARNING

Mention of self-harm, depression, suicide thoughts. That's so far since I'm not exactly sure how much more things I'm gonna add, probably a eating disorder.


I. Joy


Joy Mercer, we are glad to inform you that you've been accepted in Anubis University-

She didn't need to read more, the letter instantly fell to the floor and a smile appeared on her lips.
She had made it. She had been accepted on Anubis University!
Her smile was bigger, bigger than ever. For the first time in a long time, she felt as if her smile was genuine. She didn't feel like it was fake, but all she could think about was University. She'll be going to Liverpool. She was finally getting away from her messed up family. It was her escape! It was her escape!

Even if she had always wanted to leave. Even if she thought her family was a mess. She had pretended for them for so long, that she had to keep the act. The smile was real, so there wasn't much act this time. She walked into the kitchen, where she knew her mum and dad were. With the smile still in her face, but the letter forgotten, she yelled:

"I was accepted!"

Her parents' faces broke into huge grins. Her mother hugged her and as always she pretended she wasn't uncomfortable with it. Her dad did the same, without knowing pressing too much making the cuts on her hip hurt.

"My baby girl is going to University!" Said her mother

"I'm so happy," said her dad

"I'm happy too" said Joy "but when I'm not" she joked.

She kept the smile, but she replied to herself:

Always

···

The last day of high school. The last class of the day. She couldn't help it; she wanted to leave already. School was hell. Even if her mask was ticker at school, and no one knew how broken she was. She had to see all the other skinny, perfect girls. She hated herself more every time she saw them. Also, there were two lovely jocks that teased her every day. She wanted to get away. She just wanted to leave the city. She wanted to leave London. And she was finally going to do it.

The bell finally went off, and she yelled:

"Yay!"

Half the class turned to look at her. All she had ever desire for was attention and affection. But she really hated this kind of attention. She blushed a little, which was contracted a lot with her pale skin.

"You really live to your name, right, Joy," said a ginger haired girl, that Joy only knew was going to Yale.

"It seems like I do" lied the broken girl, as she left her classroom.

She was just able to walk a little bit when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She played with sleeves, making sure her arms were completely covered, before she turned around.

Lucas Holden. He stood there in all his glory. A school jock, perfect styled dark hair, brown eyes that shined, and a perfectly build body. Every girl wanted him. He just wanted to get in every girl's pants.

"Hey, Joy" he said

"Hey" she said not looking at him

"I'm giving a party at my place, 8 pm, I was wondering if you'll like to come?"

Joy shrugged. She hated parties. She had only been to 2 or 3 and she already knew she didn't like them. Loud music, dancing, drunken teenagers, couples making out in every corner… no, not her style.

"I'll think about it" she said as she turned around and continued her way on leaving the school.

···

Joy never went to the party, nor to any she had been invited to during the summer.

There was only 1 more week of summer, and she already had all her things ready for University. She was leaving in two days and she couldn't wait.

The scars on her arm had started to disappear; they were fading away. It tended to be like that every summer. But that didn't mean that her thighs were safe.

She had packed her razors, hidden on her make up case. She didn't have much make up, but it was enough to cover her razor blades.

No one knew what she did to herself. No one knew how broken she was. No one knew how much she hated herself. All they knew was her fake smile. Her fake attitude. The world thought Joy Mercer was so real. So secure of her self. So full of... joy.

I'm not like that


Next Chapter would be Joy arriving at University. Hope you've like it. I might have to warn most of you that this story might go really dark. This is not really that dark but it might really get dark as the story goes on.

By the way I'll like to say that I've got exams coming in a week or so, but'll try to write the next chapter before it. And my chapters are going to be actually long from now on, at least 1,000 words if that's enough

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