No idea if all this is medically feasible at all.

The counselors did prepare you for this. But nothing can really prepare you for this, nothing can prepare anyone for this. So you tell yourself it's Ok to be human for a moment, just a moment before you go in and see her. But that isn't going to be enough. So you take your time. A minute to tell yourself that this could easily could have been worse. Your wife could have died, but she didn't. She survived serious damage after the accident, and here she was.

'She's still there, she's still the same person.'

It's something you've been murmuring to yourself over and over from the moment you were informed of the news. That calms you down a bit. A tiny bit.

But then the overwhelming sadness overcomes you. That she doesn't remember your name, the color of your eyes, their little escapades in the interrogation rooms, all were going to be nothing now. Nothing to her. In this very moment, you were no one to her. No you can't think of that again - You tell yourself you have to get this over with and see her. And it's your wife, your loving, adorable wife - but you're dreading this moment.

Composing yourself, you approach the door leading to her room. You don't want to cry infront of her, you don't want to lose it in front of her, so you take a second to see her looking at the window, squinting at the bright sunlight and you can't help but smile at that.

'She's still the same person.'

You step into the room, with the best smile you can manage but the sight of her brings tears to your eyes. Tears that you try your best to stop from falling and trickling down your face. She turns to see you with a smile, that soft smile that kills you. A smile of peace and tranquility, one you've seen only when she wakes up after blissful sleep.

'Hi.'

This breaks your heart. All you want to do is hug her, feel her breath on your skin, feel her hands on your back and feel her lips gently kiss your cheek as you calm down. But you can't. And you find yourself struggling to not let your tears fall and your voice break.

'Hi.'

'I'm sorry I've bit of a problem remembering who's who and …yeah.' she trails off with a little smile. You can see it's killing her to be this vulnerable. You know she's not used to this. But you don't really know what to do. You truly don't.

'I'm your wife Holly.' you say with a little smile of your own, and you can't help it as a tear does manage to slide down your face.

'Oh.' she states back in surprise, her eyes widening as she takes it all in.

'Yeah.' you lick your lips and wipe away your tears, slowly approaching the hospital bed and you give your wife a moment to ponder it.

'I married you?' she asks, her clear voice cutting through the silence, and it truly hurts you. A part of you wants to sink to the floor and cry, but you're trying, trying your best to not break. You nod, without a word, half ready to run out the door.

'You seem like a nice person, I can't believe I married someone like you!' she starts rambling a little and you break into a little laugh hearing that. She's still the little goofball you fell in love with.

'You did.' you say back with a smile, but she hasn't stopped her rambling.

'I mean you're gorgeous and wow…. you're stunning and I am - surprised. I'd never thought I'd marry someone as amazing as you.'

You smile at that, recalling her rambling when she was high on Oxy a long, long time ago. She's still rambling the same way she did, though she doesn't realize it.

You sit down on the chair next to her bed and slowly hold her arm. You would gladly climb into the bed and lie down next to her, but you don't want to overwhelm her, not now. You slowly run your fingers along her skin, to reassure yourself that she's here. With you. In this moment, she's right here.

As if out of habit, she takes your hand and threads her fingers through yours and the simple action calms you down. She's eyeing the platinum band on your finger and plays with it gently. You smile at her, and you allow yourself to just revel in the moment.

'I got you that?' she questions, motioning to the ring.

'Hmm Mmm.' you really don't want to say anything, just allow yourself to feel peace now.

'That doesn't look like something I'd like.' she says, her voice laced with a hint of surprise, squinting as she stared at the ring.

'It isn't.' you reply with a smile as remember the time she proposed to you.

'No?' she stares at you with those guileless, blue eyes and you want to just curl up next to her.

'You want to hear this story?'

'I do.'

'Ok, one day - this was before we were together - we went out shopping - and you saw me looking at this ring - and I wanted to buy it but I didn't because I didn't want to splurge so much on a ring and you didn't even pretend to care and —'

You stop short to see her eyeing your every movement, as if in a daze and you feel so much better. This feels like her, this is the woman you fell in love with, eyeing your every gesture with such adoration, that you can't stop yourself from blushing.