Assassins vs. Ninjas

Author's Note: All characters and organisations (etc, etc) in this fanfic belong to Marvel and only Marvel alone. So the line-up's definitely not Avenger-esque but you may never know who may pop in for the crazy ride. Anyways, due to the lack of professional DJs for hire that might suit DP's tastes, we'll just have to do without a theme song at the moment.

Here goes...

CHAPTER 1: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Nick Fury (aka ex-director of SHIELD) knew exactly when he was being out-gunned. It was just that he was too damn stubborn to admit that fact. She was fast, her motions surpassed the Black Widow, and Nick knew how savage Natasha can be when she faught. The woman in red striked him with deadly precision, each blow was aimed to kill and not injure. He'd already busted a rib and was struggling to counter every move she made when he faltered. With no hesitation, she caught him with a blow to the back of his head. Nick had seen better days, he landed on one knee, bracing himself through the concussion he was experiencing.

"You have lost", the woman said with not even an expression on her face. She walked over to where she had dropped her sai, picking up the slim blade.

"Now die", she was about to deal him a death blow when she froze mid-strike.

"Are you sure he is not to die?" she asked in a sultry voice. Paused. "Very well".

Looking down on him, she said, "You will answer yourself to the Hand".

Then the knock out blow came. All Nick could think of was that the SOS signal that he had activated had got out to Hill successfully, before he lost consciousness.

PARIS, FRANCE

**A/N: Russian language are in bolded italics; I'm too lazy for translations**

Natalia Ramona (aka Natasha Romanoff's new alias, aka The Black Widow) returned from an almost tiring weekend away in the Maldives. No, she wasn't there for a long soak under the sun. It had been a long while since she had undertaken non-SHIELD associated work, on behalf of a promise she had made to Nick Fury. Now that he was god knows where, while SHIELD was being stripped to the ground, she had found herself being a freelancer once again (a period of time she had never talked about much).

Carelessly dumping her luggage beside the door, she sought for somewhere to lay and have some shut eye. Her new studio apartment in France was just as she had left it, yet there was something, no...someone who had been here. In a swift motion, she grabbed a lamp to swing it in a 180 degree blow to her left. Her assailant was fast, grabbing her tossed lamp and lunging directly for her. She did a flip, putting her out of reach. Nobody gets to have a drop on the Widow unless she allowed it. She retaliated with an aimed blow just when he caught her fist.

"Natalia", a familiar voice of a man she had once loved. Hearing his voice came like an electric shock. Gasping, she let her arm go limp, she wasn't sure how she remembered him but they were no strangers either. Dr. Strange hadn't questioned her when she had appeared at his doorstep that one day, demanding (politely) that he'd help her with her memory of the Soviet training she had oh-so-carefully hidden away. The Doctor managed to do so, and she recalled.

They were young once, young and stupid, like how everybody was once. When Mother Russia had trained her to infiltrate America, he was one of the top scenario trainers the Red Room had. Once he'd tried to defect and was put into cold storage, the Soviets had decided she didn't need to remember his face. So, she was included in the memory wipe blacklist too.

However, times have changed.

The Winter Soldier was gone now, replaced by the man whom she had once fully trusted, even loved once.

But love is for children.

Barnes fought her many times, in a simulated scenario at the Red Room; it took her some time to actually remember that with some help-particularly Strange's help. Along with that came more intimate memories that had once been taken away from her. It was good to know that Strange's hard work on retrieving her lost memories hadn't gone to waste.

"Let go of me", she spoke after a moment.

When he did not, she snatched her fist out of his grip. She looked up at her him suspiciously,"You waited?"

"Yes".

In a motion, she slapped him on his cheek. "For shooting me, twice". Then, she kissed him deeply, breaking away, she explained, "For coming back like you promised".

"Do you remember us?" he seem glad with her reaction.

She kept her gaze on him.

He leaned closer, "Do you remember?"

"How could I forget, James?" she nearly choked on her reply. Of course she'd remember. And now, James was back in her life again. Returned from her not-so-dead-as-she-presumed dark past.

"I had to find you", he told her softly. "You provided me...direction".

They shared another kissed filled with sweet longing. Just when the ringing of her cell phone broke the moment. Cursing inwardly, she answered it, "This better be good".

"Natasha, it's Hill", the voice said over the line. "There's trouble. He sent an SOS".

Natasha didn't have to ask who 'he' was. Fury was always going to be involved in her life, no matter what. She'd learnt to accept that fact, so did Maria Hill.

"Sent me the coordinates, I'll be there", she sighed.

"What was that?" James asked, clearly concerned.

"Work", Natasha grimaced, walking towards her hidden armory in her wardrobe to start packing. Looking back, she smiled, "Stop talking in Russian, we're not living there anymore".

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

"Oh, look! Bad guys!" Kate Bishop (assassin in training, aka Hawkeye's apprentice, aka the-next-Hawkeye) pointed out gleefully with her AK-47 and firing in sharp bursts, earning a glare from her mentor Clint Barton (aka Hawkeye, aka Sharpshooter, aka Guy-Who-Never-Misses). It wasn't fun running away from the fight, shooting yet another explosive arrow, Clint was pretty sure it wasn't his fault that they got made. Kate was after all the loudest and least subtle person he'd met. Bishop wasn't a part of any organisation, let alone SHEILD, he'd never let her join up with them anyway. Her line of work would be deemed too questionable in terms of ethics and morality, something only he and Natasha (the current Black Widow) could relate to.

More Hydra minions started to open fire at the casino table they were hiding behind, amidst the shouts and proclamations of 'Hail HYDRA'.

"It's not going to hold", Clint growled, pulling Kate away in search for better cover which happened to be a nearby cylindrical pillar which doesn't look like it could withstand the heavy rain of gunfire. They were at the 43rd floor of a super secret HYDRA hangout spot in Sin City(aka LAs Vegas, not Basin City-cause that would be just plain weird), trying to at least take down as many HYDRA goons as they could. If their intel were right, this casino was also a HYDRA safe house and guess what, they had really good intel - Monica Chang, their handler, made sure of that. And everything was going down the drain.

"Uh, Clint?" Kate shouted, near his ear. She didn't have to put in any effort to raise her voice above the sound of heavy gunfire.

"What now?" he asked, refraining from being angry with her. He had downed almost half of the HYDRA-ians and counting, but there seem to be more coming out of the doors.

"Windows", she said, pointing to their right.

"Not jumping out!" Clint shook his head, letting loose his last arrow. The last time he'd jumped out of the window, it didn't end well. Swearing loudly, he stored away his bow and pulled out his handgun.

"No-" whatever Kate was trying to say was cut off when there was the loud sound of a heavy duty machine gun coming from the windows. Clint never felt so helpless, clapping his hands over his ears to keep his eardrums intact and crouching as low as he could. When the gunfire stopped, only then were they able to inspect the aftermath of it - in short, not so lively HYDRA goons.

"You kids need some help?" Monica asked with her signature grin as she moved the hovering vehicle closer to the large hole in the wall she had made.

"We were doing fine", Clint scowled at his handler slash non-SHIELD agent.

Just as they were about to board the vehicle, a shout came from behind them.

"HAIL HYDRA!" a still alive goon shouted, holding a detonator in one hand. Clint didn't have to look closely to know that the idiot was strapped with plastic explosives. He shoved Kate into the car and jumped in in time before the shock wave of the blast nearly knocked them onto the opposite building.

"Sure, you were doing fine", Monica said in a very convincing tone after they were as far away from the building as they could be and invisible to any onlookers from the busy streets below. Clint decided to let her jape go, making sure that Kate was still in one piece before settling down onto the seat.

"Oh, before I forget", Monica tossed him her phone.

"What's this for?" Clint asked when he inspected the coordinates on the device.

"Hill called for a meetup", Monica shrugged. "Said that Fury needs our help".

That didn't surprise him. That man had a chance for a retirement after his supposed death but instead chose to find more quarrels with HYDRA. The last thing Nick had told him was that Cap was right, HYDRA can't ever be let to start over again. With SHIELD disbanded, Clint went back to what he was good at before that organisation hired him. With him, he kept Kate, who had nowhere else to go and Monica, who had nothing else to do. He'd intended to get to Natasha but she was gone before he could make contact with her. He supposed she didn't want to be found after dumping every information that SHIELD had to the public. He assumed that his team were Fury's backup in case things went south for the former director and Clint hated the fact that he was right.

Monica look like she was keeping something from him, frowning, he decided that it would have worked better if he'd just ask. "What's the other surprise?"

"I called in Wade", Monica winced.

"Cool", Kate grinned.

"No, not cool", Clint shook his head. "That guy's unstable". Shuddering as he recalled that one time he'd partnered up with that crazy merc with the mouth. Lets just say that there was a lot of carnage, explosions and waking up handcuffed to the bed to a hot hooker that tried to kill him with her "equipment" (and not in a good way either).

"But he's the best hired gun we've got", Monica reasoned.

"Call him off. Get someone else", Clint said through clench teeth.

"And the awesomest", Kate giggled.

"Still hate him", Cint shot back at the two of them.

FURY'S SAFE HOUSE, UNKNOWN LOCATION

"Good, you're here", Hill greeted them with relief. She eyed James then directed a look at Natasha, "This needs some explanation later"

"Yes", Natasha said almost naturally, Hill had good intel and she hadn't thought of going behind her back, so she had to know. The rest however, she hoped that the hair-cut that she had given him would make the Winter Soldier unrecognizable to her other colleagues (maybe except Steve, who would've recognized him immediately). "James, this is Maria Hill".

"Pleasure", James smiled, wearing a mask of an expression the Soviet had taught them to maintain during situations like these. Natasha ignored how uncomfortable James was feeling and took a look at her surroundings - she'd been here before, it being one of Nick's safe house. The only comparison she could make from her time here was that it was less cluttered the last time. The bunker was self sufficient enough to make the resources last for three months, and there was a reasonable supply of weapons she had stashed during her stay here.

"How's France?" Hill kept up with the pleasantry. Leading them towards the main meeting room.

"It's fine there", Natasha tried to sound convincing. The teleportation amulet she'd gotten from Strange didn't do her much good with keeping her breakfast; she swore that it was the last time she was going to travel that way. The price that she would have to pay would be too high anyway with frequent use.

"When's the last time you've made contact with Fury?" Natasha asked.

"Around 36 hours ago", Hill responded. "He was fine then. That was until this came in".

A red blinking dot appeared on the onscreen map, along with Fury's credentials and SOS signal.

"Someone's outside", James said, peering through the blast door's peephole.

"Front door camera", Hill called out to the A.I.

Onscreen, a man wearing a red and black mask waved before shooting the camera. James growled, reaching to open the door with his gloved metal arm.

"Wait, I know him", Natasha sighed, feeling a developing headache coming. "That's Wade Wilson". Silently, she thought to herself, 'The merc with big goddamn mouth'.

"Damnit", Hill hissed, "Monica must've called him".

"You called Barton on this too?" Natasha successfully hid her surprised tone of voice.

"That I did", Hill said. In a much lower voice, she muttered half to herself. "Hadn't thought it would turn out to be a party".

"I can take care of him", James offered, sensing that they didn't want Wade in on the case.

Hill shook her head. "No, point. We try to do that and he'll just bounce back up. He has what we call the healing factor, unfortunately".

OUTSIDE FURY"S SAFE HOUSE, UNKNOWN LOCATION

"GUYS! OPEN UP!" Wade Wilson (aka Deadpool, aka The Merc with the Mouth, aka Never Shuts Up Guy) banged on the heavily enforced door. "THERE ARE GEEKS BEHIND MEEEEEE! WALKERS! DEADERS!"

That didn't work either. He let up a huge sigh. Why did this have to happen all the time? The only way to get into a clubhouse was to usually place loads of explosive at its front door but he had used most of it bombing the hell out of a vault in Berlin days ago, and was yet to replenish his stash.

"C'mon! Is there some sort of super secret passcode involved? Open up! At least just give me a hint! Guys!" he yelled and banged and thumpd yet the door still held fast.

Just as he was about to try shooting it down, a light peal of gleeful laughter came from behind him.

"Hey, DP", Kate grinned.

"Kiddo, whatcha doin here?" Wade asked, still thumping the door.

"Just chillin", Kate shrugged. "Heard we're needed". She was joined by Clint and Monica seconds later.

"Aww, the whole teams back together again!" Wade exclaimed, earning himself a giggle from Kate, a smile form Monica and a scowl from Clint.

"We're not a team, Wilson", Clint said, squeezing past Wade and Kate to the door. He spotted the camera and started waving his hands in the air, hoping to catch the attention of whoever was holed up inside.

"It's not gonna open", Wade whispered to Kate.

The door opened.

"Or not", Wade amended, trying not to sound hurt.

Clint was almost startled to see Natasha answering the door. It has truly been ages since they'd actually seen each other in person, especially after the whole New York incident and SHIELD folding.

"Clint", Natasha greeted him.

"Nat", he smiled a little.

"Come in, there's no time", Hill said urgently, ushering them inside.

"HILL!" Wade excitedly scooped up the woman in a big hug. Maria didn't have any time to react as she was being lifted off her feet as much to her dismay of seeing Wade Wilson in person again (let's just say it was one really drunk night with the merc and all she remembered was uttering the phrase in a very loud voice, "We go big tonight!" before waking up with a massive hangover the next morning). The rest just stared at Wade's latest impossible feat. They'd expected him to let go after a couple of seconds but as per usual he didn't.

"Put me down, Wade!" Maria Hill shouted, flailing as hard as she could in the grasp of the crazy Merc with the Mounth. "Or I'll swear I'm the last thing you'll hug!"

A/N: That's the first chapter for now. More? I do need to hear you guys out first tho, so comment the hell away xD