He used to be a good cop.
He knows that Gordon would never believe that. Hell, there are times when he can't believe it. He had believed in the law. He had believed in himself.
Now he believes in nothing.
Gotham does that to you.
It eats you alive … takes away the parts of you that believe in better things … in serving and protecting the city … the people … and twists it … tears it out of you like a hungry beast … makes you see the people you swore to safeguard for the greedy, petty things they are. It rips out decency and honor and even innocence one inch at a time … until it leaves a hollow in your gut that you can never fill … no matter how much or what you eat.
He used to be a good cop.
Gotham changed that.
Gotham, and a woman that still burns in his blood … a woman that he might have loved once upon a time … a woman that he sometimes thinks might have loved him too … and if things had been different perhaps they could have saved each other…
Instead, they've watched each other fall.
He did not want a partner like Jim Gordon. He did not want a brave man as a partner. He did not want someone who could remind him of who he had been.
He did not want a good man.
He did not want to remember when he had been a good man himself.
But Gordon is making him remember.
Gordon is making him remember what it is to care again.
He does not want this. He does not need this. Gotham taught him what happens to good cops.
They become like him.
Or they die.
Gordon is stronger than he is… stronger or weaker. He's not sure which. Gordon will not let Gotham take his soul.
Gotham might kill James Gordon, but it won't corrupt him.
And in spite of himself, Harvey Bullock is starting to care again.
He knows it's a bad idea. He knows that one man can't save this city. He knows that anyone tries to save this city is going to wind up dead, and that it will be nasty, ugly death.
He's not a good man. He's not a good cop.
Not anymore.
But he has to remind himself of that a lot more lately.
He doesn't care any longer. He can't. He's no Jim Gordon. He proved that with the first bribe he took.
But he's doing things a good cop would. He's watching his partner's back. He's thinking more and more about what's right instead of what will benefit him the most.
And sometimes … sometimes he can almost look in the mirror now.
Harvey Bullock is not a good man. He's not a good cop.
But maybe … maybe someday he'll be both.
