trigger warnings: referenced past child abuse, referenced anxiety disorder, referenced eating disorder, referenced self harm, referenced suicidal thoughts

All of that is only referenced in this chapter, but it will be further discussed in future chapters. I will put trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters that need them.

Jushimatsu was sitting alone in the house, which was odd. Normally, he'd have one or more of his brothers with him, or he'd be playing baseball. However, his brothers went out earlier to go about their day, and it was currently raining outside. And so, there Jyushimatsu sat, all alone with the sound of the rain.

He tried a few things to pass the time. He first tried practicing his baseball swings inside, but after almost breaking things several times, he decided to stop. He had thought about going up to the attic to where he stashed away his magazines, but decided against it. For a few minutes, Jyushimatsu waves his arms around like noodles. But even that became boring after a while.

Jyushimatsu lied on the floor, staring at the ceiling with his trademark smile on his face. He thought about doing impressions of his brothers to pass the time. "Heee," he said out loud mostly to himself, "I wonder how they're all doing."

Was Osomatsu winning anything at pachinko? Was Karamatsu having any luck finding his "Karamatsu girls" out in the rain? Probably not. Maybe he was on his way home now. Maybe Ichimatsu was, too. Come to think of it, why wasn't he home now? Cats hated the rain, didn't they? How many cats could Ichi possibly find out there? What if-

"Eeeehhh!" Jyushimatsu sat himself up it an instant. "Everyone's fine! Everyone's fine!" He started walking down the hallway. "I'm not worried!" He stopped outside the bathroom door. "I'm not worried..."

Jyushimatsu was confused as to why he decided to come here. He didn't need to used the toilet. He didn't need to wash his hands or brush his teeth. As he entered the bathroom, Jyushimatsu thought of the times he found his brothers in the bathroom trying to hide their problems from the others.

"It's alright Osomatsu nii-san! The scary robber is in jail! We're safe here!"

"Choromatsu nii-san! Please calm down! It's ok! It's ok!"

"You're not fat, Totty! You're so skinny! It's actually kinda scary!"

"Hey, Ichimatsu nii-san! Let me take care of your arms! They're bleeding bad! Let me take care of them!"

"Silly Karamatsu nii-san! You don't need that many sleeping pills! I can help you fall asleep!"

"They're all fine!" Jyushimatsu said to himself as he made his way to the toilet. He put the toilet lid down and sat on top of it. "Everything's fine!" His face was starting feel wet. "N-nothing's wr-r-rong!" He brought his feet onto the lid. He hugged his legs and buried his face into his knees.

Stopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstop-

"Jyushimatsu!"

Jyushimatsu jerked his head up.

"Where are you, my little Jyushimatsu?"

Jyushimatsu desperately wiped his tears away with his hoodie sleave before responding.

"B-bathroom!"

He heard footsteps aproach stop just outside the door.

"Are you alright in there, brother?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Jyushimatsu got up and flushed the empty toilet. "I'm fine!" That felt like the biggest lie he ever told in his life.