Misguided Ghosts
Disclaimer: The lyrics are from the song "Misguided Ghosts" by Paramore. I do not own No. 6 and its characters. They belong to the great Atsuko Asano.
I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try to follow me
"Nezumi, the wall has fallen. We can all now live freely, without anyone controlling and watching us."
"I'll leave before the sun rises."
"But why? Please help me understand why you are still pursuing this when our third option has succeeded. There is no need for you to leave, Nezumi. You can live with me and mom. Our friends are all waiting for us-"
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
"No. 6 or me? Didn't I ask you to choose back then?"
"There is no No. 6 anymore! We destroyed the wall. We can rebuild it and make it better for everyone - the people inside and outside the wall can all work toge-"
"Enough, Shion! After all that you saw, you still believe in your ideals? Tsk! Old habits die hard, huh."
"But Nezumi, please stay..."
We all learn to make mistakes
"Shion, I am a rat. You, however, have always lived here. So shut your mouth or I'll leave this morning with your blood on my hands."
"I can't lose you, Nezumi."
Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Ah, what a bitter tasting memory.
Ten years after the fall of the wall, I found myself walking back to the place I had left; the place I destroyed, the place I hated the most, the place that took my freedom away, the place Shion belonged to.
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles
I went away, not knowing what to do but get away. I moved from one place to the next, trying to figure out what I really wanted from everything that had happened.
It was difficult, but it was something that was not new to me. I was an exceptional liar, a master deceiver, and an excellent manipulator. I was skilled, conditioned to get by no matter what medium I used. There was no right or wrong for me as long as I survived.
It was how I had always lived, but somehow, after the fall, something inside me changed. I didn't realize it back then, but the fall of the wall echoed what I felt.
My spirit had crumbled.
Well now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
It took me ten damn years to realize that it was a mistake on my part to leave - to leave Shion. But pride and fear were complicated monsters that lead me to do so. I wanted to prove that I was still the same rat, but I forgot that that rat wouldn't have survived without him.
Would someone care to classify,
Out broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on
I pushed Shion away from me when I could have just swallowed my pride then and stayed with them. But I needed the time to get away, to numb myself from the pain I was carrying all those times. I was blinded by my fury and all I wanted to do then was destroy them; to make them realize what it was like to live alone, without anyone to turn to. To run and hide away from them all. I was so adamant, I mocked and pushed Shion away. I didn't think of him too.
And run to them, to them full speed ahead
Oh you are not, useless
We are just misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Now, I found myself walking back to our home; back to the place where we spent our time reading Macbeth, where we ate our meals with my pet rats, where we danced away our sorrows for one night, and where we kissed - back to where I belonged.
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
As I descended the stairs, I wondered if he would still welcome me - an ass of a rat. I wondered if he still wanted me - a stupid person who was at loss all his life, only to find himself returning to the place he left.
And we should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
I turned the knob of the door and saw Shion sitting on our bed, waiting for me. I saw the books all neatly tucked on the old bookshelves. The place smelled like burning candles, just like before. The furniture was the same.
Shion shifted his eyes away from what he was reading and settled them on me. He smiled and greeted, "Welcome home."
They echo me in circles
But it was only his ghost I saw.
