Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. It belongs to Toei Animation, Fox Kids, and Saban.
Meet Sid and Sarah
This is based on a Digimon humor series written by Kenji Korato. He has two original characters named Sid and Sarah. Sid claims to be the Master of Swords and Blades, a samurai, and he is very stupid. His sister Sarah is an expert with bombs and is the smart one. Sid usually eats steak with daggers and hates guns. They are usually in Kenji's stories for comedy relief.
Prologue: Return of Devimon
One day, in the Digiworld, Devimon was looking for the black digi cores. He found them all (I know, I know, It was a short search but I'm on a low budget!) in a row in the middle of nowhere. "Well that's convenient," said Devimon. He then summoned Azulongmon. "I'm Darkazulongmon what is your wish?", Darkazulongmon hisses. All of a sudden Taichi and Greymon come out of nowhere. "Darn it I'm lost", he complains. "Arrrrrgggghhhh", yells Devimon, "I wish that Taichi was a kid so I can beat his Digimon again. "Your wish has been granted!", boomed Darkazulongmon as Taichi was chibitized. "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", screamed Devimon.
He then ran away, never to be seen again.
"AUGH!", yelled Taichi, "That @#^%%*(*&$#@! Devimon turned me into a kid again!". He walked of to find one of the new digidestined so he could get home.
Tai had been a kid for a week now and frankly, he wasn't happy.
He couldn't go to any parties and he missed the big test. "I'm going to kill Devimon!", screamed Taichi. He decided to start the "I Want to Kill Devimon Club". So far, his club consisted of Patamon, Gatomon, Yamato, Takeru, Gabumon, and himself.
"The 'I Want To Kill Devimon Club' meeting has started!", announced Taichi. "Who here wants to kill Devimon!". Everyone raised their hand. "We do!", they proclaimed.
"Wait!", yelled Gennai, who came bursting into the clubhouse, which was created using the Digimon's secret poker shack. "I want to play poker," complained Agumon.
"Tai, you have to find the Black Digicore or the Digiworld will be destroyed!", warned Gennai. "Are you here to kill Devimon too!", yelled Taichi. "No, didn't you listen!", screamed Gennai.
"Of course!", exclaimed Taichi, "You're here to kill Devimon!".
"Aaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh", screamed Gennai as he ran out.
Meanwhile, Sid was sitting on the couch watching T.V. and eating a bag of potato chips. Just then, the phone rang. 'BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG'. "Man, why can't I ever enjoy one bag of chips!".
"Who is it!", Sid yelled into the phone. "Don't you yell at me!", screamed Sarah.
"Oh, sorry Sarah!"
"We have a job to pull off!"
"What job?"
"We have to assassinate bin Laden!"
"Oh that son-of-a-pig!" (A/N: Hey, I'm trying to keep this G!)
"How I'd love to kill him!"
"Wait how am I going to get to Afghanistan!"
"I'll buy you a ticket. Now get your butt over here so we can kill that #$%@%$^!"
"Okay!"
Sid then picked up his bag of chips, gave it a kiss and said, "I'll be back dear." Sid ran out of his apartment.
Sid and Sarah were on a ship to Asia's mainland, when Sarah saw someone suspicious. "Hey Sid, did you see him?", asked Sarah. "Yeah, he looks like trouble.", answered Sid.
"Let's follow him."
"Right."
They then followed the mysterious figure. "Hey, what are you doing on this ship?", questioned Sid. "I'm just trying to get to Afghanistan.", answered the mysterious figure.
"Why?"
"Because I'm going there on business."
"Why?"
"Because it's my job."
"Why?"
"Because I need the money!"
Sid paused for a moment. "Why?". "Arggggghhh!", the mysterious figure jumped off the boat. (A/N: Don't worry, the mysterious figure will have something to do with the plot later…..if there ever is a plot!) "Good going Sid, we stopped the bad guy!", complimented Sarah. A few days later, they reached the mainland. "Now we need a plane to get to Afghanistan", said Sarah. "If the new author agreed with my contract, we could fly off on my unicorn", complained Sid. Sarah sweat dropped. "What ever happened to Kenji anyway?", asked Sarah. (A/N to Sid & Sarah: The story was discontinued). "What?", screamed Sid and Sarah.
They finally got on a plane. Sid decided to walk around the plane and bumped into Koushiro. "Hey Koushiro!", greeted Sid. "Hey Sid!", greeted Koushiro.
"What's a multimillionaire like you doing here?" (A/N: Koushiro is a multimillionaire in Kenji's stories).
"I'm here with Taichi to kill Devimon!".
"But I thought Devimon was a good guy now?"
"Yeah, but Devimon turned Taichi into a kid again!"
"He turned Taichi into a kid?"
"Yeah, and now he wants revenge!"
"Oh! Hey, you want to see Sarah, I'm sure she'd be glad to see you!"
"Okay, it has been a long time since we've seen each other!"
They then went to see Sarah and talked and played games and finally, the plane landed. "So you are here to kill bin Laden?", asked Taichi. "Yep, It's part of our job", said Sarah.
"What about killing Devimon?", asked Taichi.
"Uhhhh, riiiiiiiiiiight. But first, we've got to kill bin Laden."
This weird conversation went on until the mysterious figure….emerged again!
Except this time he walked over and introduced himself. "hi my name is Blade, I'm here to help you on your mission, Sid and Sarah."
"We don't need your help" said Sid.
"ok but I know where he gets his coffee. (wink/wink)
"alright lets go!" Sid said.
Sid, Sarah, and Blade walk into a Starbucks. They go in the back where his friend is awaiting his arrival. "Hello, my name is Snyc" said Snyc. Blade and Snyc both said, "follow us." They went into a dark room, then Sid hit the lights. They saw a can of Folgers, a hand grenade, and a coffee cup. They said "what exactly are we supposed to do with this?". Then they watched Blade pour Folgers crystals in a coffee cup, then put the hand grenade in it.
Everyone:oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.
So Sid delivered the coffee to bin Laden's table. Everyone asked, "Osama, how did you like your coffee?" Osama says, "it was very good, but a little chunky!"
Just then bin laden blows up!
LATER( CURSE THAT CAPS LOCK)
They all say goodbye to each other, "GOODBYE!" (CURSE THE CAPS LOCKS SOUL!)
Just then, some of bin Laden's followers came out, knocked out Sid and Sarah, and threw them into a space ship. "What was that?", asked Taichi as he heard the space ship starting up. "Oh no, Sid and Sarah are in there!", yelled Koushiro.
"I'll save them!"
"Taichi, now's not the time to be a hero!"
But Taichi didn't hear him, he got inside the ship, but it was too late! The ship blasted off with Sid, Sarah, and Taichi. Koushiro sighed, turned to Blade and Snyc, and said "Anybody wanna play poker?". "Sure!", they both said. They then flew off to the poker shack.
The GT Squad Ship was flying through space, crew members sleeping inside.
Taichi was snoring so loud, Sarah had plugged up his nose. He nearly suffocated, and woke up angry as heck, and really tired. He walk up to Sarah, grabbed a grenade from her bag, and before you could say "Nuclear War", there was a battle within the titanium ship. Sid, of course, slept through the whole thing until his bag of potato chips was blown up.
"MY CHHIIIIIPPPS!", Sid screamed, as he ran for what was left of the bag. "My love, you've destroyed my love!", Sid yelled, as he took out Piedmon's Trump Sword he stole earlier and attacked. "Trump Sword!", Sid screamed, as the ship crash-landed on a distant planet.
Meanwhile, at the poker shack…
"I won, I won!", yelled Blade as he collected his winnings, which included: Piedmon's other Trump Sword, $1,000,000 from Koushiro, Gabumon's fur, Puppetmon's Puppet Pummel, his hat, Ash's hat, Myotismon's cape, Etemon's guitar, and Snyc's ice-jinn, which he kindly gave back, and shared the million, but kept the rest! "Can I have my fur back, it's kinda cold", requested Gabumon. "Oh all right", replied Blade.
Meanwhile, at the Planet Neveo…
"Look what you did, Sid!", screamed Sarah who was chasing Sid with a nuclear warhead. "But you destroyed my chips!", complained Sid, who had gotten over his 'chip fetish'. Just then Sarah dropped the warhead. "Uh oh," Taichi yelled as the bomb blew up. "hit the dirt!". Boom! It was a dud. "Hey look, it's a Digicore!", Sarah yelled picking up the glass orb. Just then, the orb started glowing as Agumon disappeared from the poker shack.
At the poker shack…
"Hey, where did Agumon go?", asked Gabumon, who had just gotten his fur back on. "I don't know," replied Myotismon, "He just disappeared!". "Anybody up for another round?", replied Etemon. "Yeah!", they all replied while Etemon cut the cards.
They had been in space for 2 days when they got a message from Gennai. "Taichi, are the others with you?", he asked. "Are you sending reinforcements to kill Devimon?", Taichi asked.
"Nooo! Devimon did that on accident! I need to tell you something important! You need to gather the Black Digicores within a year or the Digital World will be destroyed!"
"That's what you tried to tell me! I wish I had listened to you! I need to tell the others! Thanks Gennai we won't let the Digital World down!"
"Good luck Taichi."
As Taichi walked off to find the others he thought to himself 'Hey wait it was an accident? Then what am I going to do with all those I want to kill Devimon Club buttons'.
"Oh well", he said to himself.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!", he heard Sarah scream. He ran to the kitchen where he found Sarah standing on a chair, screaming her head off. "What is it?", Taichi asked.
Sarah pointed to the floor where he saw, 'dramatic pause' Agumon! "Taichi!", Agumon greeted. "Agumon!", Taichi exclaimed.
"I'm so glad to see you!"
"How did you get here!"
"I don't know, one minute, I'm playing poker, the next, I'm here!"
"I'm just glad you're here. Hey Sarah, It's just Agumon!"
Sarah got down from the chair and said, "I knew it the whole time." Everyone except Sarah got huge sweat drops. "Yeah, right", replied Sid. Sarah got mad at Sid and threw a grenade at him. "Here we go again", Taichi replied dryly as Sarah chased Sid around the ship.
It had been 8 months since the Digicore Incident. The GT Team had found all 7 of the Digicores. What they didn't know was a person who looked suspiciously like 01 Yamato was on Earth… "The world shall soon be mine!, said the boy.
"I wonder when Tai will be back?", asked Yamato. "I don't know", answered Sora to her husband. "I'm off to find the demons!", said Takeru, while sheathing his sword. "You mean eggs?", asked Sora.
"Yes, I must keep them from taking more souls!" (A/N: In Kenji's stories, Takeru's been afraid of eggs since an incident in "Little Date", where he had to search all of Tokyo for eggs.)
"Takeru, don't you think it's time you got over the egg incident?"
"No! Eggs are evil!"
" *sigh* Never mind, Takeru."
"We are almost home!", exclaimed Taichi. They were about 2 days away from Earth and were really excited. "Whoohoo! No more taking any crap from Sarah!", screamed Sid. "Sid, we live in the same apartment. "Doh!", yelled Sid. "This is great! We have the digicores, we are going home, and the Digital World is safe! What could possibly go wrong!" Little did Taichi know that the Digital World and the Digidestined would never be the same again.
"Yamato, we must combine, it's our destiny!", proclaimed the Yamato look alike, who was actually the Yamato from the past, in an alternate universe. "No way, you killed the Taichi of your time, and reconfigured his Wargreymon! You're evil!", screamed Yamato.
"Don't you want power? Don't you want to beat Taichi?"
"Yes, yes I do… I mean no! What are you doing to me?!!"
"I'm just showing you the light."
"Leave me alone!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
Yamato gasped as he grabbed his head. "Aaaahhhh!" A-Yamato took this opportunity to turn into gas and enter Yamato's body. Yamato shrunk a foot as his pupils took on a green look. His hair rose and a single bang hung over. His clothes became similar to 01 Yamato's outfit. A black aura surrounded him as the area below his eyes grew darker. He stopped screaming as he stood up and said, "You better get ready Taichi because I will beat you this time. Yamato was now Otama.
End Saga.
Next saga… The Otama Saga! More action than the first! Otama has challenged Taichi. Taichi must combine with A-Taichi, who did survive, to become Ichait! Who will win?
