A/n quick one shot. Angsty angst. Don't confuse this for emo. This is kind of based on my own experience. And I'm doing this on my phone and I don't know how this is going to turn out regard to paragraphs. Harry/jasper slash.

Harry was dying. After the war he hadn't been the same since. Haunted by his past.

He hated voldemort, but a part of him ached for him. Voldemort's soul was apart of him. How could the wizarding world think he could just move on?

He felt empty, like something was missing. Half of his soul. He was voldemort and voldemort was Harry.

He couldn't live without voldemort, neither could he live in a world where voldemort was ruling. He couldn't see any other way out. He had met a coven of vampires on his travels throughout the world. Somewhere in America. He fell for the one named Jasper. He immediately pulled himself away from that situation. He didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve anything anymore. He just wanted the nightmares to go away. Harry lay on the ground in the vast forest. Surrounded by the stars in the sky and the subtle movement of the tree's. He finally found peace. He took a knife out of his bag and gently sliced the delicate skin of his wrists. He lay there smiling. Sighing gently, satisfied that it would be ending soon. He closed his eyes, the ghost of his smile still remaining. He was drifting. Suddenly he heard a frantic noise somewhere in his consciousness. He was vaguely aware of somebody shaking him. He opened his eyes and saw the blurry image of jasper. His beloved. Someone he did not deserve. He closed his eyes again.

"I love you jasper."

" I love you too Harry." Harry drifted away, suddenly a white got pain coursed through his veins. Harry screamed in agony. He didn't know what was going on. Until it hit him. Jasper was changing him. He laughed inside his head, bitterly.

'I should've known' thought Harry. 'there's no way out for me.'