Briars Pov:

No Monday has ever felt more needed than this one.

I'm pretty much an expert on crappy days, it's been about thirty-two since that party at the abandon barn on the outskirts of town. Since that party started a battle I have to fight every day for who knows how long.

I stepped onto the bus pretending nothing was wrong, nothing happened, nothing changed. When it was pretty obvious that everything had changed. Mia Dearden a girl I've known since pre-school stretched her leg across the empty seat next to her. I walked slowly, hoping no one would see me shaking in my sneakers. It's funny a couple weeks ago at one of those rape prevention talks she was the first one to tell me she was on my side. Now she won't even speak to me.

"Everyone find a seat" Mr. Chester the bus drive shouts

I looked at Mia again silently begging her for sympathy maybe even a little pity but all I got from her was the bird. It shows that she's loyal to a person who doesn't deserve it. Gramps always told me to stand up to bullies, but it's me against the everyone on the bus and the entire school. The bus lurches forward as it starts moving, I tried to grab onto the edge of seat next ot me but ended up toppling onto the seat Mia's leg was blocking.

She let out a screech of pain. "Ow! You fucking bitch get off of me." She seethed

I was about to apologize until I noticed the people sitting around us staring wide eyed, mouths open, but as soon as my gaze met there's they turned away.

'Great'

Mia pushed herself up against the window, headphones on music blaring. The rest of the ride goes by without any more incident -except for two girls in the seat across from. Whispering to each other watching something on the phone between them.

"Almost two thousand hits" One of them murmurs. The other shoots me a dirty look

I know what they're talking about, and I really don't want to think about that, I focus my attention on the back of the seat in front of me. As soon as the bus rolls to a stop in front of the school I'm the first one off the bus on my way to my locker faster than anyone can blink and that's without using my powers. Mostly everyone just ignored me though there is the occasional new insult that's thrown around, people who purposely bump into me, or try to trip me. But that's not so bad I can deal with that much until the end of the day unless –

"Woof! Woof!"

Everything around me starts to slow down not like when I'm running or anything but like everyone and everything around me is moving faster than me. I can't move my feet feel like there full of lead. I already know who barked at me I don't have to look at him. I force myself to keep going instead of running back home or back to the mountain. I want to look at him and show him that him and his buddies didn't beat me. Even though I flinch whenever I hear Griffin's name. A foot appears out of nowhere and I can't dodge it in time. I fall to my hands and knees two familiar faces step forward from the crowd Deke Ralston and Axel Walker

"Heard you like it on your knees." Axel said maliciously the crowd erupts into snickers and more insults are tossed around. At least Derek helps me up until Axel smacks the back of his head and he's walks off before I can say thanks. I scramble to my feet and duck into the girl's bathrooms and lock myself into a stall.

I don't come out until, my hands stop shaking and my stomachs stops doing flip flops. I step outside and see Claire and Victoria my two best well ex friends standing in front of the mirror. We stare at each other through the mirrors Claire leaning against the sink Victoria's fixing her hair and reapplying make up.

Acting like I wasn't there and start talking. "SO I'm thinking of having my birthday bash at my parent's vacation house in Malibu. I'm thinking of inviting Griffin and the rest of the hockey team."

No. please don't. "Vic please don't- "

She stops fixing her hair shaking her head like she's disappointed

"Please don't what? You know he could get kicked off the team or worse out the school because of you."

"Good!" I exclaimed suddenly anger coursing through my veins.

She whips around so face her hair slicing through the hair like the blades on a fan to face me her face twisted into a scowl.

"I can't believe you! Is this all because he was gonna ask me out."

My jaw dropped is she serious right now. "What?"

"You knew I liked him if you didn't want me to date him you could've just told me."

"This has nothing to do with you."

"Really cause it sure seems that way. The minute he stops paying attention to you, you freak out."

"That's not even what happened, he never gave me a second look and you and I both know I stopped hanging out with him because of what happened with Raven."

She throws her arms up in frustration. "Everyone knows Ravens a slut okay. Just admit it you want everyone to feel sorry for you cause he dropped you. So you turn on the water works and got Griffin- "

"Are you on mode or something? He- "She cut me off before I could finish

"Don't even I didn't want to believe everyone when they said you were lying but now I know you are." Claire nods in agreement and tosses her bag over shoulder and they walked towards the door but not before Victoria got one more shot in.

"You're a lying slut and I'll make sure everyone knows."

The door slams behind them echoing off the walls I'm standing in the middle of the room wondering how the hell I'm still standing 'cause I can't feel my feet…. My hands and raise them in front of my face to make sure there still there. There shaking but I don't feel it. All I feel is pressure on my chest like I'm under water and trying to breathe. My mouths dry I can't swallow. The pressures building. I start rubbing my chest hoping that helps but it doesn't do anything.

'Oh crap' I thought as my heart goes into over drive, I fall to floor gasping and choking trying to get air into my lungs but I can't. Minutes passed by but it felt more like hours. I rummage through my bag for my phone and shakily dialing Wally's number.

"Briar hey. You okay kid."

"W wally can't breathe. H hurts." I wheezed

"Take a deep breath Bri hold it for three seconds okay one, two, three, and exhale."

I did as he said the first time was hard but the third time around it got easier.

"Do it again deep breath, hold it, then exhale."

"It takes me a few more tries before I can finally breathe again.

"You okay.?" He asked worriedly

"Yeah I'm crash."

"You sure I can come pick you or I can call Aunt Iris."

Wally. Home. No laughing, no ex best friends calling me a bitch or a liar. Where I curl up in bed with a bag of chicken Whizzes and pretend like none of this ever happened.

'Yes. Take me home. Right know."

I wanted to say that, but when I looked in the mirror and saw my face red, eyes hollow, hair all messed up something makes me say "No I want to stay."

"Briar-"

"Wally I have to stay. I can't keep going home I have a Spanish test next week and you know how much I suck at Spanish."

"You don't have to be strong."

Strong

The word hangs in the air awkwardly like it has no reason to be there or use to describe me for that matter. I'm not strong not at all. I'm weak and scared. So fucking scared that I can't see straight and I don't want to look to far.

I'm a mess.

I'm trying to hold on to what little I have left, and I'm not sure what that is yet.

"Your kid flash remember fastest girl alive, remember nothing can stop you remember."

And that makes me crack a smile, I glanced down at the red goggles around my neck and at my favorite running sneakers. My Briar Allen Impulse outfit minus the full body jumpsuit. It was my kick ass outfit. Ever since the Garrick's passed away I've been living with Wally's really hate how gramps and everyone else let me get away with stuff.

"If you feel like you're having a panic attack again remember to breath okay."

"Yeah sure" I answered "I think I missed first period and most of second."

"Don't worry about it, why don't you go to the art room or something."

"If there isn't a class in there or anything"

"If you need me just call me or Uncle Barry okay."

"I will thanks Wally" I said ending the call, I put my phone back in my bag and headed towards the art room.

The art room is my favorite place in the school beside the lunchroom, It's huge cabinets full of art supplies oil paints, brushes, canvas's, oil pastels etc. And books about different techniques, history, digital art, media design. I grab Art and Contemporary Critical Practice: Reinventing Institutional Critique by Raunig and Rey textbook off the shelf my names written on the checkout card so many times that the book might as well be mine. I flip through the sections and reread the section on realism adding shadow, light and depth to your art work. I love the way that sounds so professional. It's so crash how you can capture a moment on paper it takes that one flash that forces us to see the beauty and flaws we never really notice.

I took my phone out and looked at the picture I took in the last week and I don't recognize the girl in the photos anymore. Her eyes are dull and her smiles don't even look genuine. She looks like the life being sucked from her.

Why can't anyone see that?

I shoved it back in my bag again and closed the text book when a slip of paper flutters to the floor. I picked it up and read it, what's written on it makes my stomach churn. A chair dragging against the floor startles me, I turn around and see Bernard Davidson standing by a table near the front.

'Did he slip the note in here?' He always had a crush on me according to Cassie it was so obvious he would turn red and start stuttering every time he'd talk to me or at least try to.

He grabs his book bag off the floor and walks over towards me at least there's one person who doesn't worship the ground Griffin walks on. But it's not just his bag he's holding in his left hands his phone.

"two thousand huh." There's no blushing, no stuttering only disgust.

I flinch like he just slapped me and in a way he did. He throwing the art book I let him borrowing on the table. In a subtle fuck you only I would understand. I grabbed my stuff dashed out the art room just in time for the bell to ring.

I managed to make it through the day. As soon as the bus was in front the school I was the first one on plugged my headphones in and blocked it all out.

'It's not so bad' I repeated over and over again in my head

I don't even think I believe myself anymore

Once I was in the house, I let myself relax for the first time. The house is quiet. Mary must be out shopping and Rudy's still at the office working or something.

Thirty-two days ago I would've been at the mall or watching a movie with Claire and Victoria. On a mission with the team.

I stare at the wall behind my bed pictures taped all over the wall above my bed in Wally's old room photo's me and my friends, me and the team Me, Gramps, Gram, Wally and Artemis on one of our rare vacations. And the one thought that runs through my head when I look at those pictures is that I can't go back to any of those places cause Griffin fucking Gray took it all away from me.

I can still see Tim in on my laptop cutting off all my accounts and getting me a new phone with a new number. But the video of Griffin and Me gone viral and everyone saw it. It's pretty clear that my life is never going to go back to the way it used to be.

I start ripping all the pictures off the wall, throwing them in the garbage. Tears streaming down my face again. I thought I'd be out of tears by now. I flop back on my bed knocking my book bag on the floor and the note from the art room falls out. I picked it up and stared at it for a few minutes before dialing the number.

"Rape, Abuse Incest National network hotline this is Chynah how may I help you."

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