Adam could still hear the sharp never ending beep ringing in his ears as he got home. He didn't even want to leave the hospital but he had to. The doctors all said to go home, to rest. His house didn't even feel like home anymore. Not without Jay.
And it's not like he could sleep. He hasn't slept a day since the crash, and probably will be wide awake tonight. And the next. And the next...
As he walked up the stairs he couldn't bring himself to look at he pictures that hung there. Almost all of them of Jay and himself. He stopped on one of the steps knowing that his most favorite picture was there.
It was a picture of him and Jay wrestling when they were kids, right around the time Adam realized he was falling in love with his best friend.
He tried to ignore the tears that were welling up in his eyes and preparing to slip down his cheek. He stroked his fingers over the glass, wanting nothing more that to caress his lover one last time.
He would never get that chance though.
"It should have been me." Adam broke down, as if confessing his feelings to the pictures. "I should have died. Not you." He felt anger, pain and bitterness building up inside of him.
"You had everything to live for. A career. A future." He sobbed, "I have nothing without you."
He grabbed the picture off the wall and trudged up the stairs. "My life is a curse. First I get injured. Second, I have to retire. And now...Now my best friend, my lover, my everything." He sucked in a deep breathe as he entered the bathroom. "My Jay...It's all gone."
He didn't even realize what he was doing until he felt his hand unscrewing the lid and pouring out the remaining pills into his hand.
Adam looked at his hand, then to the photo and then finally his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He didn't even recognize himself. He felt scared but he wasn't going to back down.
He swallowed the pills like they were nothing. He picked up the photo again and crawled into bed. Falling into a deep sleep and praying to wake up with his Jay...
A/N: Okay this short one-shot was full of firsts for me. My first Edge and Christian fanfic. My first real angsty hurt/comfort I don't even know what to call it, but it's a sad story and I usually do fluff. Surprisingly, I wanted it to be a little angstier when I was done typing but I had no idea how and I didn't want to mess with it.
But, all things considered, I'm kind of proud of this. I never thought I'd write Edge and Christian because I thought I'd get them all out of character...But this seemed pretty good to me.
Idk. I'll quit talking now.
