*tires screech and a girl in all black and duster coat jumps out of the car* Batty has just arrived, so lets get this show on the road!
What happens when you are at a Mexican restaurant and Wolfie calls you to discuss important matters... and constructing a pyramid out of beer cans. Now, neither of us are alcoholics and strongly disprove of it, which is why we poke fun at drunks.
This story must have some highlights put over it before you begin.
- If you read 'Partying with Pansies' also written by me, this story will make a tad bit more sense, although this story is not its sequel. If you haven't and do decide to read it, a lollipop will appear on your bedside three Tuesdays from now.

- Noone is certain of Mr. Schubaltz's actual birthday, but this is why it is fan fiction. It can be ANY day your twisted little heart desires! =D
- This story does once again contain alcohol, but this time it is a little more than miniscule. Please read responsibly.
- At the end of this story, there is a foot note that will make perfect sense if you read the entire story. If you understand the footnote's definition, I do believe you will have the laugh of the year.
Written by Batty. Enjoyed by you.


Miranda ran down the hallway in such a rapid pace that it seemed like an invisible monster's talons were closing in on her. She skidded around a corner and recovered from a slight stumble. She stopped at the first door at the beginning of the hallway and gripped the knob with all her life's potential and jerked it open. She barged inside not even considering who may be occupying the room or even take in her surroundings, which she realized as a mistake when she tripped over a small glass triangle and jumped back up. She looked around the room and the floor, and realized she was surrounded by a vastness of triangles and triangular objects and the only space she was standing in happened to be the only island amidst the sea of the geometric shapes. Big ones, little ones, painted ones, there was even a large triangle-fashioned cake on the floor. Besides all the triangles, she noticed almost everything un-triangular was either turned on its side or upside down, including a large table that was on its side in the middle of the room. She lifted her hands to her ears and clenched her eyes and teeth as if the figures were screaming at the top of their imaginary lungs,
"Triangles! Triangles! What's with all the triangles?!" she exclaimed.
When she received no answer, she considered walking across the room searching for the supposed residents of the room, but first she had to find an opening for proper footing. She was about to make her first step, when two heads peered over the table-the head of a girl and an organoid wearing party shaped hats in the shapes of [you guessed it] cones .
"It's triangle day, Miranda!" the girl said excitedly.
Miranda looked up in an annoyed fashion and narrowed her eyes. She continued her way over to the girl and the organoid. She tightened her fists as she trudged through the triangle swamp. When she finally reached the table, she pointed a finger in the girl's happy face.
"Anna! What do you think you're doing?" Anna stared cross eyed at the intimidating, gloved finger.
"Celebrating Triangle day, what are you doing?"
When she said 'you' she pointed a finger back in Miranda's face. With a surprised expression on her face, Miranda swiped the returned gesture out of her view and maintained a glare at Anna. The organoid and Anna stood up and brushed themselves off. Miranda grabbed the neckline of Anna's black long sleeve shirt and pulled her close.
"Do you have any idea what day it is?"
Her tone was hurried and stressed, like she just became a wanted criminal. Anna cracked a tiny laugh,
"Well, duh, its Triangle day."
Miranda gripped the sides of her head and let Anna stumble backwards.
"Forget your stupid holiday! It's Karl's birthday today!"
Anna made a transition from gleeful to unimpressed as she adjusted her glasses.
"Do you know how much hot water we'd be in if we didn't get him a present?"
While Miranda was gripping her hair downwards, Anna blinked.
"Actually, I don't think we would be in any sort of water."
Miranda stomped both feet rapidly out of agitation.
"GAH! Don't give me that sort of talk, we need a present pronto!"
Anna smiled and looked at the ceiling.
"Hehe, I know exactly what I'd like to give him."
She thought of donning her spiked boots and kicking Karl in various places and laughing maniacally as he screamed for mercy. Her thought was interrupted when Miranda snatched the party hat off of her head and threw it on the ground.
"This is not the time nor the place to daydream!"
Anna smiled. "If I'm not mistaken, I think a certain someone is wanting to impress Mr. Schubaltz."
She pointed a finger in the center of Miranda's military jacket. She angrily swatted Anna's hand away and glared evilly at her friend's smiling face.
"I'm not impressing anyone."
She crossed her arms.
"Have you even thought of the possibility of impressing your higher officer into the state of mind that I and a certain someone," she thrusted a finger in Anna's forehead ",can get a promotion?"
Anna yawned and retained a smile.
"I knew it. If it wasn't about getting Karl to like you even more than he already does, it is about work. You don't care about the wellbeing of others and satisfying them."
Anna gave a shrug. Miranda cocked an eyebrow.
"What would you say if I did?"
Anna chuckled while having a staring contest with the door.
"That you're lying."
Miranda grabbed her shirt line again and pulled her close.
"Anna, this is serious. How many times have I ever asked you to do something for me?"
Anna reminisced on all the times Miranda had told her 'no' in response to Anna wanting company for fun or Miranda spoiling Anna's escapades.
"You haven't asked me to do anything other than to please stop acting stupid."
Miranda released her friend. "Exactly! And I am asking you to do this one thing for me! Please!"
Anna looked around her room as if someone where listening.
"Ok, ok, damn. What exactly am I supposed to do?"
Miranda sighed in relief.
"Ok, this morning I was walking by and heard someone talking to Karl. He sounded in an unusually cheerful mood, and I had to listen. They asked when some kind of party was and he said at five. I was slightly intrigued, because Karl attending a party is like you graduating Harvard, there is a slim chance it will ever happen."
At this comment, Anna looked to the side, a little hurt.
"But I stuck around long enough to learn it was his birthday party, and he said that what he really wants is a creative present. He is tired of material objects, and he'd really appreciate some time and effort in his birthday."
Anna lifted an eyebrow and protruded her top lip.
"And what do you want me to do about it?"
Miranda widened her eyes at Anna not catching her hint.
"Karl want's someone to MAKE his gift, he needs an artist."
Anna looked at her friend.
"Is that so?"
Miranda nodded. "Yes, that is so!"
Anna turned around. "Sorry, I figured you'd want someone from Harvard to live up to your expectations."
Miranda jerked her hair. "Anna, this is no time for sympathy, isn't me here begging you to do something for me enough payment?"
Anna set a finger to her lips. She thought that this was quite pleasing that her best friend who was always so serious and strict begging like a little kid in a candy store. It was something new to laugh at. She might just drag this once in a millionth chance out a little longer. She began to step back over her table and redeem her hat. The organoid, who was so silent behind the table Anna forgot it was there.
"Sorry Miranda, what with Triangle day and all, I don't think I'll have the time."
Miranda's face turned white, but regained color when she took the minute to smile.
"That is too bad Anna. Because I wanted you to build a pyramid for me," Anna stopped and looked back with interest.
"And what with pyramids having four triangular sides, it would be perfect for Triangle day, it would be a shame for you not to honor your precious-,"
Miranda looked at the floor and gave a face signifying a smidgen of disgust while carefully choosing words ",shapes."
Anna savored this offer for a bit and then narrowed her eyes. Miranda set her hands in her pockets and grinned.
"This means I'll be celebrating Triangle day with you too, because I want to help with the building."
Anna tilted her head as she drew near to Miranda. She smiled greatly.
"It's a deal."
Miranda showed a smile so large that Anna never knew it could be done.
"Excellent!" She clapped her hands. "Now we need the building material."
Anna looked around. Miranda raised a hand. "I got it covered. I ordered a literal truck load of beer cases."
Anna wrinkled her brow in a sorrowful expression. "Miranda, you know I disprove of alcoholism."
Miranda didn't seem to care "But Karl evidentially likes it. Very much. You remember the Christmas party where we won those zoids?"
Anna remembered.
"Yea. But even you don't approve of drinking. How in the hell did you even get the money for this? It must have costed a fortune..."
Miranda rolled her eyes. Anna smiled.
"I knew it, you do want to impress him. Just admit love makes you do crazy things."
Miranda dilated her eyes and gave her friend a dirty expression. Before she could comment back, Anna interjected.
"We need building plans. I'm not a real good builder, and we both know this. You remember my card house."
Miranda rubbed her aching head at the remembrance of the thousand card pickup, that never even made it into a foundation.
"We could call Stev-,"
Miranda interrupted by stamping her foot. "Mr. Harper is away in another vicinity and we are not going to call him to devise a simple pyramid plan."
Anna blinked. "You do realize the only thing closest to an engineer we have at hand is Lake Monster and Lackey."
Lake Monster and Lackey were the nicknames of two of their comrades, Wayde Bitlick and Chase Gibbons, Wayde being Lake Monster and Chase being Lackey.
"Must we stoop as low as to ask them to build a simple figure?"
Anna smiled and shrugged.
"You've got to start somewhere, even if it is at a low point. I don't like it either. But hey, love makes you do crazy things."
Miranda seemed as if she was not paying attention. Anna repeated herself. Miranda now looked at the ceiling.
"You know Miranda, I think I change my mind-,"
Miranda stopped Anna from stepping over her horde of triangles, "Yes! Love makes us do crazy things, and I love you enough to ask our two peers in assisting us."
It was not the response Anna was looking for, but it was enough for her to turn around and open her arms in an inviting gesture.
"Hug me!"
Miranda seemed to try her best to ignore the situation, but eventually gave in. She stepped toward her friend and embraced her.
"We need to get started right away. I will have those two paged."
Miranda stated. When they retreated, Miranda's face turned to horror as a sickening wet, squashing noise filled the room. Both girls looked at the ground and saw the triangle cake flattened by Miranda's boot. Anna expressed a sorrowful expression and her mouth opened, as if Miranda actually meant to ruin the pastry. Miranda looked up and gulped.
"I will buy you a million triangles in the place of this, I swear."
Miranda shed her tainted boot, and hurried off. Anna scratched her head.
"Where in the world is she getting this large influx of money?"

Wayde 'Lake Monster' and Chase 'Lackey' were paged to report to the main office of the hangar. They showed up in less than five minutes. Miranda sat patiently with hands interlocked in the office chair as Anna twirled giddily around in the guest's seat laughing at something anonymous. Wayde took in the scene and coughed.
"Ms. Musselwhite, it is a surprise to see you here, and," he shot Anna a glance and cleared his throat
"So, um, you requested for us?"
Miranda sat up, "Yes, we have. We seek a favor from a fellow comrade."
It took every ounce of strength Miranda had from vomiting. Bitlick seemed intrigued.
"Is this favor in relevance to or for-,"
"We want you to make us a pyramid!"
Anna stopped spinning and had a drunken smile on her face as she exclaimed this. Bitlick raised his eyebrows and stole a glance at Anna then back at Miranda.
"A pyramid?"he asked uncertain if he heard correctly. Miranda mustered up a serious, business friendly smile.
"Yes, we do want you to help us build a pyramid."
Chase Gibbons found this the perfect time to present himself. "Why is this matter-,"
Anna found the opportunity to interrupt again, "Because it's Karl's birthday."
Although everyone was no more than five feet of her, she thought yelling would make everyone's hearing go up a level.
"Oh, yes. We are all supposed to attend the celebration this afternoon. We even took the liberty of baking a cake for him."
Anna shot Miranda an intimidating glance and Miranda continued on.
"How wonderful. Rumor is out that he actually wants gifts that have effort put into them. Your cake will be exceptional. That is why we are asking you to devise us a rough draft of a pyramid to be made of full beverage cans."
Wayde and Chase looked at each other, and shared a small laugh.
"You find this task difficult?" Wayde's deep voice interrogated.
"I certainly thought you could handle a job as dimwitted as this." Chase thought he could chime in a little more.
Their laughter stirred up again but was aborted quickly due to a flying pencil canister and stapler flying across the room and slamming against the door, sending pencils and small metal shards of stapler flying. Bitlick and Gibbons looked with trepidation in the direction of the flying office supplies and saw Anna with an evil grin.
"I'm sorry there was a fly on the wall. I just had to smash it."
When Anna emphasized the word 'smash' she cracked her knuckles and beat them in the thenar of her hand. Both men gave a consecutive gulp. They had a small aversion to Anna, due to her dress style and dark sense of satisfaction and humor. Miranda surveyed everything in alarm and then found a cheesy smile. She found her partner's behavior tiring mostly, but always managed to discover benefits.
"So, do we have a deal?" Miranda interlocked her fingers again. Wayde and Chase nervously looked outside and then back at Miranda.
"Give us fifteen minutes, and we will have your plans. Just give us an estimate of what we are working with and your desired outcome." Miranda smiled and nodded at her friend.
"Thank you, boys." As both men were leaving, Anna had the nerve to yell, "Happy Triangle day!" which made both Gibbons and Bitlick jump in shock.

"Well, here they are."
Bitlick stated as Gibbons set forth the plans on the table of Miranda's room.
"A scale of a 47 foot tall pyramid constructed of your said," he paused and scratched his neck ",five inch resources."
Anna looked up happily. Miranda rhythmically strummed her fingers on the table as she examined the sketches.
"This seems to be in order. Thank you boys for your expertise. Now, me and Anna have work to do, so if you'll excuse us-,"
"Woah, woah, woah now, Miranda. We came up with the plans, we want to help build too." Bitlick halted.
Miranda lifted her eyebrows in annoyance and heard Anna.
"I thought it was going to be just us." she complained.
Miranda closed her eyes.
"Fine, we'll get this done faster. We only got four and a quarter hours before the party is supposed to start."
Bitlick gave Miranda a stare as deep as his voice.
"Yes, and we see to it that it is done right."
Before Miranda could reject, Bitlick growled in pain as he clasped his shin and performed a small dance of agony. Anna grinned. "I'm sorry, but there was a bug on your pants. I had to get it before it got you." Miranda simply blinked and looked at the two men. "Anna leads this project, she is the artist."

For the rest of the time they had, they began construction on the traction platform trailer of a Gustav. The plan was to dramatically bring in the pyramid being pulled by the Gustav, and Miranda jump out even more melodramatically exclaiming happy birthday to Karl. Anna thought this was ridiculous, even coming from someone who celebrated the existence of triangles. But the plan seemed to be coming along accordingly, and Anna hopped into the cockpit of the Gustav. Bitlick and Gibbons stayed on the trailer holding the pyramid of booze steady.
"Miranda you are really going to do this?"
For the first time in what was compared to forever, Anna actually felt embarrassed. Miranda climbed in the pilot's seat and gripped the steering controls as the cockpit closed.
"Yes, we are pulling through with this."
Anna placed her chin in her hand and set her elbow on the side of the seat.
"Karl's going to think you're an idiot."
Miranda blinked and lifted her eyebrows.
"Yea, well, it isn't like he doesn't already thinks one of us is a moron."
Anna rolled her eyes. "I hope this fails miserably." She simply stated under her breath.

It was three minutes before five when the Gustav arrived.
"Perfect, not a lot of people are even here yet."
Miranda gripped the controls even tighter.
"I wonder how Wayde and Chase are doing."
Anna lifted her head slightly with a mild surprised look. Miranda actually caring how two of her closest enemies were? Jesus, she really is love struck. Anna thought.
"I don't know, I'll go check."
The cockpit lifted up and Anna jumped out rather hastily. Miranda bit her bottom lip and lowered herself, thinking that Karl saw her. He was off in the distance chatting it up with two friends. He lifted in the air what looked like a can. He isn't an alcoholic, Miranda thought, but he seems to drink a lot on special occasions. I hope he likes this, we certainly put A LOT of effort into it. Miranda looked at her watch. One more minute. She unbuckled and hoisted herself around the seat to view her cargo. Anna, Bitlick and Gibbons were holding the pyramid steady. Miranda waved and pointed towards Karl. Anna gave a thumbs up. The cockpit lowered and the Gustav steadied its way in Karl's direction. Karl was too deep in conversation to notice the easy-going transportation zoid make its way over to him, because his friends acknowledged it before him. Karl widened his eyes, the green coloration gleaming like bright jade. His smile was even more brilliant. He seemed to lose interest in his can, which he dropped out of shock. He turned to the Gustav and crossed his arms in contentment. His friends shared his enthusiasm and they joined his side, expressing verbal amazement. Miranda sucked in courage and swallowed what fear she had of Anna's hopes coming true. Surely she didn't mean it. The cockpit's hinges allowed it to open, like the strings of a show curtain allow it to draw, and Miranda leapt out at first sight of Karl. She struck a pose and opened her arms. Simultaneously, the crew yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KARL LICHEN SCHUBALTZ!"

Miranda maintained her pose and smiled. Karl and his company clapped and whistled. He nodded.
"Well, Miranda. I think this is the best birthday present I have ever gotten."
He walked over to Miranda and hugged her. Miranda coughed, "Yes, well, for our commanding officer, a present that is time consuming and full of painstaking effort is what you deserve."
Karl withdrew and gave her a surprised expression, holding back his nerve to ask how did she know what he wanted.
"Yea… Yea, I guess you're right."
Miranda cleared her throat.
"These cans are full of beer, ready to drink. I took the liberty of ordering your favorite brand."
Karl seemed fell silent at this. A small smile took over shortly.
"Um, that is wonderful. But, how are we supposed to get the beer down to drink without the pyramid collapsing?"
Miranda paused.
She furrowed her brow in a worried manner and scratched the back of her head. In the background, Anna, Bitlick, Chase and Karl's two friends laughed at something. Whether it was a joke or a compliment, Miranda actually regretted not calling Mr. Harper.


Triangle day, is of course, my favorite holiday. Too bad it doesn't exist on any calendar except mine. ;D
But due to my random idea, I actually had the audacity to type in 'Happy triangle day' in the Google search bar and got a result. It was not the result I expected. It turns out a triangle-related unofficial holiday named Pink Triangle Day exists, and it celebrates the love of life, and the gay and lesbian communities are widely fond of it. Ironically enough, it is on Valentine's day. Of course, this message was completely unintended, I just invented 'Triangle Day' for randomness. So, if we all pull together and believe that Mr. Schubaltz's date of birth is Valentine's day, I think we all can have a good laugh when we need one. I hope everyone has a good 'lets sell cards to people to budget companies' day, Pink Triangle Day, Triangle Day, Valentine's, or just Feburary 14th! =D