Dreamgiver

"There is nothing like a dream to create the future. Utopia to-day, flesh and blood tomorrow"

Victor Hugo

Les Miserables, 1862

BPOV

He was so marvelously exquisite. No, that wasn't the word. There wasn't a word to describe this god standing before me, taunting me with his beauty, making all traces of grief vanish within me.

His deep beckoning eyes were pleading me to come to him, just begging me to lose myself within their sapphire pools. The honey locks atop his head were summoning me to tousle them with my fingers. My body began to ache with the need to touch him, to be near him.

I slowly made my way through the darkness, heading to the angel awaiting me just out of my reach, but just as my fingertips brushed his forearm feeling the marble of his skin, just as a dazzling smile spread across his face, taking my breath away, making my heart stop, he began to dissolve in thin air, vanishing before my eyes.

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I woke up, sweat trickling down my spine. But, oddly enough, I invited it. It was either the sweat or the tears. My new found angel or my long lost love.

The nightmares of loosing him over and over again had nearly driven me into a sleepless life. Yet one night, an angel had taken the place of those dreadful memories, washing all recollection away, if only for the few hours I claimed in sleep.

Yet, every time the angel visited, I felt a familiarity with him, not just in my dreams, but as if we had met in real life. This was impossible, of course, and I knew it; knew that if I had ever seen such a creature in my life, surely not even the worst case of amnesia could stop my memory of him.

But, nevertheless, whoever he was, whatever he was, I would be eternally grateful to him, my dream giver; for he, every night, for but a few hours, helped me leave the pain that was rooted deep into my soul…the pain of losing him, of losing Edward. Helped me leave the pain of loss, of death...

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Flashback

(Ten Months Ago)

I rolled over yet again, absent mindedly staring at the clock by the bedside.

Ugh. 2:00.

Four more sleepless hours until Edward would be home from the hospital for the weekend. Four more hours of lying here beside Alice, like every other Saturday morning, tired from our Friday night sleepover, awaiting the moment my eyes locked with my beautiful green-eyed, bronze haired fiancé.

Just four more hours. Only four more hours, I chanted in my head, the words repeated in my mind, four hours wasn't long, but without Edward, four seconds seemed like a lifetime….

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A humorless laugh escaped my lips. I had though four hours would be the death of me, yet I soon found out how wrong I was.

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It was precisely 4:37 when a strong, determined knock sounded on the door in the living room, awakening everyone in the house.

Alice sat straight up by my side, "Huh, what is it?"

"Someone's at the door Alice, I'm sure Esme's got it", was my slurred reply. This was the Cullen home, and with all the hours it's occupants worked through out a 24 hour period, it wasn't unusual to have visitors at all hours of the night, and day, for that matter.

That's when I heard it. A blood curdling scream I knew escaped none other than Esme's lips.

Alice and I both looked at each other, horror evident on our faces, we looked at each other a moment longer, frozen with fear before bolting to the door and shooting down the stairs.

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Yes, I had though four short, futile hours had been torture.

I had been oh so naïve.

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When I had reached the last step, my body became stiff as I took in the scene before me.

Emmett held Rosalie as her beautiful form crumpled to the ground, terror written on his face, evident to the whole world, his usual smug grin replaced with a vail of grief.

Then I heard a whimper, looking for the source, I felt my insides turn to lead, suddenly weighing my whole world down.

"Esme", I don't know how I managed words, how I could even decipher what my mind wanted me to say, all I knew is that as I saw Esme's bloodshot eyes meet mine, saw Carlisle supporting her with all his weight, heard Alice's sobs behind me, there was only one thought in my mind…

Not Edward, it couldn't be, no he would be home soon, returning from his shift at the hospital. Returning to me, just as he always did …..

"Bella", I suddenly heard Charlie, noticing him with the three other cops that made up the Forks Police Department, standing at the threshold. "Bella, honey, he's gone", four simple words. Four words that had changed my life. The last four words before all breathing within my body ceased and I was shrouded with total darkness.

End Flashback

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He had left the hospital early, coming home to me, to his family, coming, but never reaching his destination.

The other driver was a man with 2 children, heading home too, heading home to his family. Everything had been fine, until the man, Jeremy, I would later find out his name was, until he had a seizure, causing him to swerve. He had swerved right into Edward's car, ending both their lives on impact.

Of course, I had never blamed that man, for he was not at fault, no one was. But that knowledge didn't help the hole in my chest, the hollowness of my body.

I let the tears come now, flooding down my face and racing for victory down my neck, into my hair as I lie in bed. Letting all the angels hard work to chase away my pain cave in on me.

All I wanted was for my angel to return, taking me into his perfect dream world, a world in which I was numb to pain, but the realization that it was Friday and I had obligations kept me from my angel.

Today I had promised to go to Port Angeles.

Today an illustrious set of soldiers were arriving at the Port Angeles airport from Iraq, one of which was Jasper Hale, someone I had never personally met, yet I would be there, smiling along with those who had known those soldiers their whole lives, welcoming him home. I had promised Rosalie I would be there, alongside Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett and Jake to welcome her brother home.

Though I had never met him, for he had moved away about a year before I arrived here to live with Charlie at seventeen, I did want to be there, if only for what it ment to Rose and the Cullens.

All I knew of Jasper was that he had lived here as a child up until he was sixteen, then he had decided to move to Houston to be with his ailing grandparents. There, at the age of twenty, he had joined the Army. During his few years in the army, he had became a high ranking Major, one of the youngest from Texas, something of which Rosalie was very proud, until being injured on a mission, the reason for his return.

And so I was off, yet another day, another day of pasted on smiles, halfhearted laughter, and, worst of all, all consuming loneliness. Another day without my fiancé, without my Edward.

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Okay guys, my first attempt at Bella/Jasper. I hope to have the next chapter up soon with some JPOV thrown in there, so please review.

G.G'93