A/N: As you may have already realized, this story is not a Lily/James romance. It's just insanity, i guess. I always write l/j romance, so i decided to go for just a Marauder approach. I do however have a lily/james romance written. It isn't very humorous, but i wanted to try for something new. if anyone would be interested in reading it, tell me and i'll post it. So yeah.. this story. i wanted to post something. and this came to me. so yes. i hope you enjoy it...
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Remus smiled slightly and stroked the top of the bluebird's head gently. "Hey little guy."
"Hello Remus." The feathery creature chirped. "How are you?"
"I'm brilliant!" He said, before he caught sight of several more birds heading straight towards them. "Oh!" He said, slightly breathlessly, "Are those your friends?" The bird nodded and Remus watched as they came pelting towards him, showing no signs of slowing down. Remus backed up uncertainly, only to realize that he was in a dark forest and did not know the way out. "Tell them to slow down!"
"No." The bird said, and this time its voice was not light and airy, but deep and full of fury.
Remus turned and tried to sprint away, but all of the birds had already reached him. Their force of slamming into his chest caused him to tumble to the ground. They all perched on top of him and Remus could feel his lungs begin to contract under the weight of all the tiny critters on top of him. "Get off!" He tried to yell, but he could not speak… could not breathe….
Remus jerked awake, drenched in cold sweat, to find that he still could not breathe well. He tried to sit up, only to find that he also could not move. He could make out the form of something sitting cross legged upon his chest. And that's when he realized what was happening.
Sirius Black was sitting on him.
"Sirius, get off!" Remus gasped.
A mass of black hair clouded his vision, "REMUS! You're awake! Thank Merlin!"
Remus rolled over, causing Sirius to topple off the bed and land on the floor.
"You have got to stop doing that." Remus gasped, rubbing his chest sorely.
"You were having a dream about talking birds again, weren't you?" Sirius said matter-of-factly from his place on the floor.
"Er…no." Remus said, pushing his damp hair out of his eyes.
"Yes you were. I know you were. You were talking in your sleep and you're voice was all light and airy."
Remus blushed and was thankful that the room was still dark. "Can I ask you a question, Sirius?"
"Go for it." He said, getting to his feet and sitting on the end of Remus' bed.
"Why were you sitting on me? Again?"
"I had a terrible thought, Moony." Sirius said, leaning forward, "School ends in a week. And then we'll be gone, forever."
"I thought you were excited we're in our seventh year!"
"I am," Sirius said, "But then I thought…when we're gone, who will carry on the Marauder legend?"
"I don't know." Remus said irritably, "Is that what you woke me up for?" Sirius nodded in the darkness. "Then I am going back to bed. If you feel the urge to sit on someone, please… go sit on James."
Sirius Black tapped his fingers on the common room chair in a steady beat. He sighed rather dramatically and looked at the small first years before him in annoyance.
"You!" He barked, pointing to a small boy with a goofy tooth that protruded greatly. "What is your name?"
"G-Gerald sir."
"Gerald, hmm?" Sirius asked, "I don't like it. Now, I want you to do something for me Gerald. I want you to wink."
The small boy nodded and produced what he believed to be a very suave wink.
"NO!" Sirius snapped, banging his hand on the chair and causing stuffing to ooze out. "I said wink!"
"I-I did wink."
"You did not wink. You twitched. You twitched so unattractively it made me twitch." Sirius rubbed his temples tiredly, "You may join the Peter line. You two are very similar."
Sirius leaned back in his chair. He was busy interrogating first years, trying to find four who seem most similar to each of the Marauders. It was proving useless. No one was as pathetic as James, as embarrassing as Peter, as brainy as Moony, or as amazing as himself. He needed to train the young first years to become Marauders. He needed the legend to live on.
James came bounding into the common room, caught sight of Sirius, and glared rather viciously – for Sirius had indeed taken Remus' advise and perched himself on top of James later in the night.
Sirius waved for James to come over, and once he was close enough said, "Will you take on the Peter line, please?"
"Fine," James sighed, and headed straight towards the group of awkward looking first years. On his way there, however, he spotted Peter by the fire, a large book spread open on his lap. "Hey Wormtail, what are you reading?"
Peter said nothing, but raised the book so James could read the title, 'Dream Interpretation.'
"Sirius told me Remus had that dream about talking birds again. I'm trying to figure out what it means."
Remus, who was sitting across from Peter, looked worriedly at the back of 'Dream Interpretation'. "You don't have to do that, Pete. Those dreams don't mean anything. I'm sure loads of people have dreams that…strange."
"I hate to break it to you Remus," James said sadly, "But maybe little four year old girls have dreams like that. You are a seventeen year old boy. At least, I think you are…."
Sirius collapsed on the couch, having heard the last part of their conversation. "Remus. I have dreams about girls… that's normal. Granted, they aren't talking, they're-"
"Who wants breakfast?!" Remus asked hurriedly.
"I do!" James and Peter said in unison, and the three of them took out of the common room before Sirius could utter another word.
Lily Evans sat at the house table, reading through the Daily Prophet, and taking small bites of toast. She looked up at the sound of Peter saying to Remus worriedly, "It says dark forests usually mean you feel trapped and alone…."
"Hi boys!" She said brightly as James kissed her cheek and took a seat next to her.
"Maybe you feel trapped and alone, and you feel the only thing you can turn to is talking animals. HEY WAIT! That makes sense. You know, because we're animals!"
A few people looked over curiously.
"Animals in bed." Sirius said, seemingly appearing out of then air. He then leaned closer to Peter, "Merlin, Pete. Be a little quieter when you talk about things like that."
Peter nodded and quickly returned to his book, often looking at Remus sadly and muttering things like, "That can't happen, I won't let it…"
"Will you cut it out?" Remus snapped as Peter mumbled, 'Dying because an elephant tramples him? Such a shame…."
Remus got to his feet, "Nothing is wrong with having dreams about talking birds, okay?! So stop worrying! I'm fine!" With that he slung his book bag around his shoulder and took off out of the Great Hall.
"That was a rather feminine departure." Sirius noted.
Peter gasped, "It did say something about a fantasy of becoming a muggle princess…"
"You there." Sirius said to a short, scrawny first year named Paul. "Ruffle your hair."
Paul reached up and ran his hand through his hair, causing Sirius to bow his head in defeat. "You failed. Leave me."
Paul nodded and scurried away, leaving Sirius to mope.
"Now." Sirius said, turning to the remaining for 'young James', "A young girl walks by. What do you do?" At this moment he snapped his fingers and a first year girl came walking past, swinging her hips rather profusely. He pointed to a fit boy named Sam and said, "Go get her!"
Sam walked up awkwardly and tapped her on the shoulder, "Hey…"
"Oh…hi." She said, looking over at Sirius and winking, receiving one in return. They were evidently in some sort of an alliance.
Sam stuffed his hands in his pockets, "So I uh…must need occumlency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts."
The young girl wrinkled up her nose and shook her head. "NEXT!"
This time a short boy with red hair waddled up next to her, "Without you, I feel like I'm in Azkaban and the dementors are sucking away my soul."
She shook her head, "NEXT."
"Come on!" Sirius Black shouted, "James Potter has amazing pickup lines. He can get any girl he wants! Except Evans… Well, now he has her. But he didn't for awhile and…" He trailed off, "NEXT!"
Gerald came sprinting out of the Peter line and up next to her.
"HEY!" Sirius said, "Haven't I already told you that you are not myself, nor James, nor Remus. Your only chance is Peter. Now go away."
Gerald ignored him and stood on his tip toes to put his gangly arm around the young girl's shoulder. "So…" He said, "I've been whomping my willow thinking about you."
She shrieked and pushed him away just as Sirius sprang to his feet. "YOU LITTLE NASTY." He cried, and proceeded to pick up Gerald from the waist and drag him away, "SHE IS GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES BECAUSE OF YOU!"
Gerald squirmed in his grasp, "I HEARD MY BROTHER SAY IT ONCE! LET ME DOWN!"
"I WILL PULL OUT THAT TOOTH IF YOU DON'T SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Sirius bellowed, causing Gerald to go limp and pout.
Sirius dragged him out of the common room and tossed him in the hall. "And STAY OUT!"
He returned to his place on the couch. "It is evident that none of you are James. Leave me." Sirius placed his head in his hands, knowing full well that this was not working.
Peter came into the common room, 'Dream Interpretation' held high above his head. "REMUS WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"Wormtail!" Sirius shouted, "Have you figured out what his dreams mean?"
Peter nodded excitedly, "Go get James!"
"I'm right here, Pete!" James said, clambering through the portrait hole with Remus in tow. "What is it?"
Peter tossed the heavy book aside, hitting Gerald, who was busy trying to get through the portrait hole, square in the stomach. He toppled back outside onto the stone floor and the portrait slammed closed.
"Alright." Peter said, "Remus…are you prepared to know why you have been having these dreams?"
Remus rolled his eyes, "Yes, Peter. I am ready."
"You were a pelican in your former life!"
The three boy remained silent.
"So, Sirius have you found any young Marauders?" James asked.
"No, not yet…"
"IM SERIOUS YOU GUYS!" Peter cried, obviously hurt that they weren't taking him seriously. "Remus is part bird."
"But you just said he was a pelican in a former life. Now you just changed it…?"
"Remus is going to become a bird because he was bitten by one."
"Bitten by a bird?" Remus asked incredulously, "But I thought you just said…"
"Peter." Sirius said in awe, "You figured that out all by yourself?"
Peter nodded proudly.
Remus turned to Sirius who quickly whispered, 'He has no idea why you're having those dreams. But he doesn't want to tell us that he couldn't figure it out.'
"Good job, Pete!" Remus said suddenly, "I'm really glad I know now…"
James laughed, "Good luck finding another Peter, Sirius. I don't think anyone is that-"
"I can't find another Peter, or another me…or another any one of us for that matter! All of these first years just can't live up to our legends."
"I guess I wouldn't have it any other way." James said after a while, "I mean, Remus has dreams about talking birds. Good luck trying to find another boy like that." –At this Remus opened his mouth indignantly- "And Peter…Peter is just all around crazy. In a good way!" He added hurriedly, "And Sirius is the only boy, or quite possibly the only human I know that sits on people when he has a brilliant idea or scary thought."
"And you, James." Sirius continued, "Are just about the only person I know that would chase after a girl for seven years after being repeatedly shut down."
"But I succeeded." James said with a smile, watching as Lily helped Gerald through the portrait hole, "Well, I guess Sirius trying to find young Marauders and failing because no one is good enough further proves my point."
"What point is that?" Remus inquired.
"We are one of a kind."
A/N: Ick. I'm not so sure about this one. Buuuut i don't know. If anyone has a story they would like to see me write, please tell me. ahh im nervous as to what you would all think. id like constructive critisism however, so please dont hesitate to help! Thanks and love you all -Lilly.
