Hello, fellow fanfic readers! My name's Paige, and this is my first story about how Sandy's interest in another resident of Bikini Bottom causes Spongebob's jealousy to get the best of him. Cute, huh? Anyways, please R&R, and I hope you enjoy it!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants. The characters used in this fanfic belong to Viacom International Inc., Nickelodeon Studios, and Stephen Hillenburg.
Chapter 1: The Lovey Dovey Dance
It was 7:50 PM at the Krusty Krab, ten minutes to closing time. Spongebob was scrubbing the tables so that they'd be gleaming tomorrow, and Squidward was looking through the pages of a Bikini Bottom Dance issue.
" Washing the tables so they'll be clean, washing the tables, no dirt shall be seen; doo-doo da dee da!" Spongebob sang happily as he rubbed his towel gently over the table's surface. "Spongebob, will you keep it down? I'm trying to read!" Squidward whined. Just then, Mr. Krabs came bursting through the doors of his office. "Attention Krusty Crew, emergency meeting in my office...that'll be all," he said into a megaphone, scuttling back inside. Spongebob was overjoyed. "Oh, boy-an emergency meeting!" he cried, walking over to Squidward. "Isn't this great?! Emergency meetings give us a chance to improve ourselves and be better employees. Oooh, what do you think Mr. Krabs'll say this time?" he asked excitedly. Squidward sighed and began walking over to Mr. Krabs' office, with Spongeob right behind him. "If I'm lucky, 'Squidward, you're fired'," the octopus replied dully.
The two boys strolled into Mr. Krabs' office and took thier seats, Spongebob bouncing eagerly in his. Squidward rolled his eyes and went back to his magazine. "I bet you lads are wondering why I called you into me office," Mr. Krabs said. "Not really," Squidward replied, his eyes scanning a page on mollusk ballerinas. "Well, I am, Mr. K. Do you want us to clean out the toilets, chop up tomatoes, or-dare I even dream-work overtime?!?" Spongebob said, who had bounced so high that he was literally in midair, waiting for Mr. Krabs' response. "As fascinatin as all that sounds, no," Mr. Krabs replied. Spongebob fell and landed back in his chair. "Oh," he said in a disappointed tone. "Actually, I was reading Donald Trout's book, 'How To Be Rich' the other day, and he mentioned something about throwing parties at your business every once in a while to make extra cash. They should be based on something, a theme of some sort...you boys have any ideas?" he asked. As usual, Spongebob grew even more excited and was the first to answer. "Oh, oh, oh-I got one: Kelp Costume Day! Everyone shows up wrapped completely in kelp, and we can decorate the reataurant with seaweed!" he offered.
"Uhhh...maybe something a little less original," Mr. Krabs said. Spongebob pondered this. "Hmmm, well, what about Backwards Day! Everybody could wear thier clothes backwards, and talk backwards, and walk backwards-it would be so COOL!" he said. "Er...you're, uh-hehe, gettin warmer, laddy," Mr. Krabs said. Squidward let out an exhausted sigh. "Mr. Krabs, why don't you just theme the party after a holiday?" he suggested. "You know, like an early Christmas party, or a late Halloween party, or maybe a four-month early Valentine's Day party...something like that; I don't care anyways, considering the fact that there's no way I'm gonna show up," he said. Mr. Krabs' eyes grew large with interest. "What was that?" he asked. "What-about not showing up?" Squidward asked him. "No, no, the part about having a themed party," Mr. Krabs said. "Oh, well you know, a Christmas party, a halloween party, a Valentine's Day party-"
"THAT'S IT!!"
Spongebob jumped at Mr. Krabs' sudden outburst and hid behind Squidward, who pushed him away in no time. "What's it?" he demanded. "Mr. Squidward, you're an absolute genius!" Squidward grinned. "A genius, well, hehe, I am rather-" Mr. Krabs cut him off. "We'll have a party in honor of Valentine's Day! In fact, let's make it a dance! Everybody in Bikini Bottom will be there, we'll decorate the restaurant with frilly hearts and stuff, and we'll charge $20.00 for refills!" he said hapily. Spongebob was just as joyful as Mr. Krabs. "Wow, a dance-I don't think I've ever been to a dance before...what's it like, Mr. Krabs?" he asked. Mr. Krabs laughed and shook his head. "Spongebob, me boy, when I was a youngun, I didn't have time for dances. I was too busy trainin for the war; but I do know that it involves the Three M's," Mr. Krabs explained. "What's that stand for," Squidward began, "Morons, Mortification, and Mediocre? Haha. Mediocre. Ha."
Mr. Krabs shook his head. "No-Movement, Music, and Money! AAAgugugug!" Squidward frowned. "Of course," he said in monotone. "This is gonna be great! Just think of it, all those happy couples dancing, the big, bright decorations, it's gonna be the best party ever!" Spongebob cheered. "And you wanna know what'll be even better? I'll get to wear my uniform with a tuxedo! Bahahaha!"
"Moron."
"Yep, it's going to be quite a little shindig; now, I want you boys to start looking for some Valentine's Day decorations...you know, hearts and flowers and pink stuff. I'll get all of the technical work done," Mr. Krabs said. "Like what, Mr. Krabs?" Spongebob asked him. "Oh, stuff like caterers, ice sculpters, and a DJ," he explained. Squidward was surprised. "Wow, Mr. Krabs, I thought you're idea of a party was playing cards in a storage room while eating some crappy Poptarts-but this actually sounds like a real party! I might show up after all," he said in astonishment. "I'm glad to hear that, Squidward. Now I've got somebody to be a bathroom attendent!" Mr. Krabs said with glee. "I should've just kept my mouth shut, the whole time," Squidward sulked.
"What can I do, Mr. Krabs?" Spongebob asked. "You, Spongebob, will be a bartender," Mr. Krabs told him. Squidward snorted. "Oh, boy! I get to be a bartender, I love tending to bars! Whoo-Hooo!" Spongeob cried, then looked back over at Mr. Krabs. "What's a bartender?" Mr. Krabs gasped, his mouth flying open in utter shock. "You...you mean you don't know what a bartender is?" he said, obviously astounded that someone had never heard the term before. "Uh...no...I don't think so," Spongebob said, scratching his head in thought. "Dear Neptune, boy! Where have you been all this time-oh, jumping jellyfish, don't tell me you've never had a drink before!!!" Mr. Krabs cried. Now Spongebob was the surprised one. "I can't, Mr. Krabs, I'm underage. I'm only 20 years old," he said. "So! That never stopped me-I had liqour in me baby bottle, kept a jug of beer with me all through elementary school, heck, by the time I was nineteen years old I had gotten 197 DUI's!" Mr. Krabs said. Spongebob and Squidward just stared at him. Finally, Mr. Krabs realized what he had just said and grew even more red and sweaty than he already was. "I mean, uh...heh..just kiddin?" he tried. "They tried to make me got to Rehab..." Spongebob whispered to Squidward.
"Alright, alright. Yes, I do have a tiny drinking problem, but I'm getting help with that. But that's not the point-right now, we're thinking of how to throw this party," Mr. Krabs said. "Spongebob me boy, I'll teach you all about how to get the mixins in for the perfect beverage. Mr. Squidward, you need to learn about bathroom ettiquitte. Why don't you go out and buy one of them tapes on how to be... ladylike...and the both of yous, start looking out for people who can serve ordurves, at a modest price."
Squidward sighed and stood up. "Okay, we know what we're supposed to be doing with our limited spare time, now can we puh-lease go home? I've got better things to do than sit around with an overly-happy sponge, and an achoholic crustacean!" he said. Mr. Krabs looked up. "Wha? Oh, yeah, yeah, you're dismissed," he said, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. "Thank-You!" Squidward said, taking off his Krusty Krab uniform hat and flinging it off into a corner of the room. He trudged out of the office, with Spongebob right behind him. Squidward opened the door, changing the "open" sign to "closed" on his way out.
"Wow, Squidward! Can you beleive the Krusty Krab will be hosting a dance?" he asked with sheer joy. "I still can't beleive I'm the bathroom attendent," Squidward replied. "Oh, it's gonna be the best party under the sea-just think of it: Everywhere you turn, people are laughing and dancing and having a great time, and then when the ice sculpture Mr. Krabs orders melts, everybody can drink it! Oh, and then there'll be a DJ playing really great music, and...baha...when people feel like getting something to drink, I'll be the one to give it ot them! Bahaha!" Spongebob said, causing Squidward to let out a long, mournful sigh. "And Mr. Krabs said everyone in Bikini Bottom will be there(gasp)hey, what if some celebrities show up?! Like, like Beyonce Shoals, or...or Cameron Seaz, or Jack Nicholfin, or-" but Spongebob was cut off jsut as he and Squidward turned down Conch St. " Spongebob, do you remeber that little talk we had?" Squidward asked him. Spongebob pondered his question. "You mean the one about how if you jump off a cliff, a genie will appear and give you three magic wishes?" he asked. Squidward shook his head. "No, not that one, the one about taking the long way to your house," he said. Spongebob was puzzled at this. "But, Squidward, I only live four blocks away. If I take the long way to get back, it'll take two hours," he said.
"Exactly," Squidward said to him, stepping inside his Easter Island Head home and slamming the door behind him. "Okay, Squidward...well, see ya tomorrow!" Spongebob said, walking inside his pineapple. "Gary, I'm home!" he called out to his pet snail, hanging his Krusty Krab hat on a coathanger near the door. When Gary did not respond, Spongebob called out again. "Gary? Gar-Bear, where are you?" Gary slithered up next to him, balancing a calender on his shell. "Meow," he said. "Hello, there, what's this?" Spongebob asked, taking the calender and reading it. There was a big red circle around the 25th, with a tiny hand-drawn picture of Sandy Cheeks in it. "Oh, that's right-tomorrow's my best friend annivarsary with Sandy..." Spongebob said, gazing across the room at the giant stuffed bear he had bought for her. It had cost him four months of saving paychecks, but in Spongebob's eyes, Sandy was worht every penny. Gary shot Spongebob a knowing galnce. "Meow, meow, meow..." he said. Spongebob went red in the face and waved his hands frantically. "Gary, shush! Someone might hear you!" he said. "Meow," Gary replied. Now Spongebob grew a tad angry. "So what if I do? It's not a crime to be in love!" he said, walking over to his mantle and picking up a picture of the two friends at Jellyfish Fields. It had been taken long ago, when they were just starting to get to know each other. Spongebob had asked her if she'd like to go Jellyfishing, since she'd only been in Bikini Bottom for two weeks and still didn't quite have the feeling of what being a sea creature was like. She had loved it, and even said that Spongebob was the first and best jellyfisher she'd ever met. Looking at her beautiful face in the picture, he sighed dreamily.
"As soon as she sees that bear I bought for her, she'll go crazy," Spongebob said, walking upstairs and into his bedroom, where he stepped inside his closet and changed into his night clothes. "Meow," said Gary, who had slithered up the stairs along with him. Spongebob stuck his nose out of the closet and answered. "So what if she's a squirrel and I'm a sponge? People fall in love all the time, with anybody they feel that...connection to. That's how I feel with Sandy," Spongebob said. "Meow," Gary added wtih a bit of a sassy tone. Spongebob stepped out of the closet and gasped. "Gary! You can't just go around talking about people like that! It's rude," he said.
"Meeeeeeeooooooowwwww," was Gary's response. Spongebob was really angry now. "Alright, that's it! You're not getting any desert tomorroe night-and consider that chew toy I promised you a figment of your imagination," Spongebob said, climbing into bed. "Now, off to bed. Goodnight."
"M'ow, m'ow," Gary mimicked. Spongebob figured he'd let Gary have his fun. He was too happy to be stern right now. Come tomorrow, he'd be spending the day with the prettiest creature in the ocean, and nothing could prevent that.
Or could it?
