Disclaimer: I don't own Bionicle, Burger King, or Duct Tape, only Jus Shidapickle. Story idea belongs to Jazzyart.

"Welcome back to the show, I am your host Jus Shidapickle. We have a very special guest joining us today as the first ever Bionicle to be on the show. Well, the first on tv for that matter. But, without completely boring you do death, if I haven't already, give it up for Teridax the Master of Shadows and leader of the villainous group know simply as the Makuta."

"I assure you, my face will be seen on your picture machines more often than not after this." Assured Teridax coolly from a seat opposite of Jus.

"Self-confident I see," remarked the host. "Don't worry, we'll make a celebrity out of you yet. The first question I have is actually one of mine; which means that it is also the most important." A thumbs up and a wink at the camera, and was answered by girlish giggling from the audience.

"Hey now, little children are watching this so none of that." Jus threw a wink at the group of teenage girls on the front row. "Multiple times in the first movie the scenes that focused on you were mostly scenes with poor lighting and all the swirly mist everywhere making it hard to see you. Why is that?"

"I assure you, when the director for the movie first came to me with the script I was not pleased that a body a sexy as mine was not going to be easily visible. The director said it brought more color to my eyes and make me more intimidating. My brother's dead mask! Because of the scenes like that, fans have gotten a negative view on my role and believe me to be the "ultimate evil" in the movie and day to day life."

"Uh…insane dictator who thinks he has a sexy body, right. Let's look at some questions provided by fans watching this. Let's see, nope too fan-boyish. Ah, nada kid *beepin* sucks at spelling. Ah, here we go! Miss Jazzyart writes, "What are your thoughts on being used as entertainment for humans?"

"What is this, people just send in messages and I answer them?"

"Eh, not just you, but our next guest will receive questions too."

"What is this, a *beepin* job interview for Burger King?"

"Ah… I don't think so."

"Urgh Fine! You want to know what I think about it? Well, it was slightly degrading at first and than I learned that the Toa Nova and all the others had also received the same fate so I began to think positive thoughts about it and decided that it was a great way to let you humans know how I really look, something the movie failed to properly show. Of course I never stopped plotting to take over your world like I was about to in mine -stupid sand dwellers- but a few complications and annoyances have set my plans back a few years."

"A 'few complications and annoyances'?"

"Now don't even get me start about the time that snotty-nosed brat made me fight those tiny green men who were so stiff they could only sit in one pose and complain to each other about how their noses itched!"

"You mean Army Men? Yeah I didn't really like the green one's either that much. I preferred the blue ones."

"Oh? Well there were blue ones too and they were the ones who started talking about #$#%%."

"Oh dear, I think we would have to edit that story out of this show if you told it. We are taking a short break but we will be back so stick around!"

*Camera fly's backwards away from the screen and fades into a commercial*

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But wait! If you call right now we will throw a second roll for free! That's right, for free! But that's not all! We'll even make the second roll rainbow colored!

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"And we are back!"

*Camera fly's back in to show Teridax and Jus in their seats. Teridax with a black box covering his torso that reads: Censored: Contains a body too sexy for children.*

"Duct tape eh? I wonder if Tuma is still shaving his legs with shaving cream and a razor?"

"Whoa, whoa! Tuma did what?"

"Tuma, the leader of the skrall." answers Teridax. "He spent more time behind a curtain putting on shaving cream and shaving his legs than a sandstorm blowing sand across the desert plains of Bara Magna."

"Okay, that's a bit creepy. Hey speaking of Tuma! He just sent in a comment of his own to the show. He writes: "I do NOT spend that much time shaving! When the shaving cream runs out I usually have to wait a couple of hours before my Skrall can retrieve another can."

"Eh, sick dude right there."

"You have no idea. If I knew he was there I wouldn't have even gone to Bara Magna; I would have left my brother Mata Nui to deal with him himself."

"Right, moving on. Here is another question from…Mr. Jaws? Seriously wtf? Alright Mr.…err- Jaws writes: "A lot of fan-made pairings have come up, what are your thoughts on them?"

"My thoughts on… pairings?"

"Yeah, you know…two of you making love?"

"What!"

"Well…not like that. I mean, err- a Bionicle couple."

"A couple of what?"

"No! I mean…*sighs* a pairing is two people who love each other."

"What? You want me to discuss my thoughts on that!"

"Uh…yeah, pretty much."

"Fine, you want my thoughts on that I'll give you my thoughts on that. Gali and Tahu, worst couple ever! Gali was supposed to be mine and then that flame-head had to step in! What's worse is that you humans are encouraging it! Every time a new story is put out where it says "Tahu/Gali" in the description somewhere, those two are all over it like a bunch of Po-Matoran over a rock!"

"Really? what about you and Matoro? Did something go on between you?"

"Are you kidding me? He brought my older brother out of his sleep that I put him in and thwarted my plans. No! All feelings I might have once had for him have vanished after that stunt he pulled on me. Only Gali has a chance to be with me now and that is something that Tahu will soon learn."

"You know what? It sounds like you're just jealous."

"What did you say?"

"I said it sounds like you're just jealous…" POW! "*Beep* Ow…! What the *beep* was that?"

"That will teach you not to talk like that to me *beep*!"

"Are you kidding me? My mother-in-law hits harder than that!" SMACK

"*beeping beeper* Did you just smack me?"

"Yeah and I'll do it again you child's toy!" SMACK "Ha! Take that! The Easter Bunny looks scarier than you!"

"Oh, it's on now." POW "Come on! My granny can smack harder than that!"

SMACK

POW!

"Ow! That's my spleen you oversized droid!"

SMACK

"Did you just bite me you camera loving freak?"

A/N: First attempt at comedy, whada ya think? Btw, I never knew Teridax had a granny… did you? Shesh, I really don't think I even want to see her. Oh, and Mr. Jaws is my shark jaw (found on some beach in the East coast, can't remember where though) I have sitting on my dresser that is always smiling at me …kinda creepy.

Tuma and the whole "leg shaving" was a joke all over the Bionicle community on Youtube and couple years back. I don't know who started it, but I thought it was hilarious. Oh, and Duct Tape fixes everything ^_^.

This fic started as my try at a challenge Jazzy had put up on her profile. But, I enjoyed writing this (till 2 a.m in fact, ah not even tired yet.) so much that I am continuing it with the next chapter featuring none other than *drum-roll*…Kopaka Toa of Ice and Slush! (Whoa now, I'm just kidding… no need to pull out the razor blades.) If you want to ask a question to be answered in the next chapter, feel free to leave it in a review or PM…whatever works best for you.