Notes: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug
Chapter 1: Whisper
dis·en·chant·ed
(adj.) disappointed by someone or something previously respected or admired; disillusioned.
Ladybug squeezed her eyes shut as she heaved against the side of the alley, desperately trying to breathe air that didn't seem to be reaching her lungs. Chat Noir landed beside her a few second later, dropping his shortened staff on the asphalt with a careless clatter and sliding down the side of the building until he sat on the floor. He wiped the side of his mouth with the back of his glove, accidentally smearing blood across his cheek. Ladybug wanted to ask him if he was okay, but she didn't have the energy. Only now had they finally managed to escape the akuma's maelstrom of explosive destruction so they could get ten extremely well-deserved seconds to breathe, but she couldn't even seem to do that right.
Chat caught his breath enough to speak, but not without gasping between every few words. "We have... been fighting... for three. hours."
Ladybug slid down the wall and plopped down next to him, sweat dripping down her face. She was visibly shaking from exhaustion and her voice was dense with alarm. "...This is bad, Chat." She stared down at her hand, which was accidentally sitting in a layer of dark blue and purple dust—dust that used to be people—and quickly withdrew it with a flinch, cradling it to her body. "This is... really bad."
Her partner didn't say anything. He peered out of the alley to see if the akuma had found them yet, or was anywhere nearby. Sure enough, Falling Star came blazing down the street, leaving a trail of crackling fire in her path. Chat quickly retreated back into the cover of the alley and looked at Ladybug. His deep green eyes were unfocused, but still managed to hold that mischievous zeal. "We need to get in orbit."
The heroine unsteadily got to her feet and held out a hand to help her partner, not bothering to roll her eyes. She wondered vaguely how he could still joke when they were facing the most dangerous and difficult akuma they have encountered thus far—when the odds of them winning managed to diminish so dangerously low. Of course, they didn't plan on surrendering anytime soon, but...
...They couldn't keep this up forever.
Chat appreciatively took her hand and rose, relying on a bit of her strength to get standing all the way upright. He picked up his staff and Ladybug started to swing her yo-yo, trying to warm herself up back into fighting mode. Even though she was far from it, she threw him a silent look, asking him if he was ready to move. He threw her his signature Chat-grin as a response, but it was shaky, and the dread filling his eyes did nothing to make her believe he was any more prepared than she. Ladybug knew she had a history of over-doubting herself, but if Chat was just as doubtful as she was, she knew she wasn't kidding herself.
At the moment, she really wished she was.
...
Three Hours Earlier
...
Marinette pushed open the doors of the school library, one of her hands clutching a paper bag branded with the logo of her parents' bakery. She still had plenty of time left in her lunch break, but one glance outside at the gray, encroaching clouds and she decided it was better to return to campus while it was dry than to get caught in the inevitable downpour. Alya, who always joined Marinette for lunch, hadn't even dared to leave the school—the storm had been brewing all week, with no sunshine and bad wind and general characteristics of low-pressure weather, and the red-haired girl wanted to avoid it as best as she possibly could. So, Marinette left her in the library and promised to bring her back something delicious.
Alya didn't even look up from her laptop when the paper bag fell in her lap. "Hey girl."
"Hey," Marinette greeted, sitting beside her friend. Alya was working on the Ladyblog, but instead of looking as excited and intent as she usually did when working on, well, anything pertaining to Ladybug, her face was etched with a concerned expression. Marinette frowned. "Is everything okay with the blog?"
Alya glanced at her and gave her a small smile. "No, the blog's fine, but a lot of viewers are starting to get apprehensive." She frowned, the worried expression back. "This is the longest period of time we've had without akumas since the attacks even started."
Marinette bit her lip. "Oh, really? I haven't noticed."
(She did notice. Of course she noticed. She noticed it more than anyone. But that wasn't something Alya needed to know.)
Her friend continued without suspect. "Well, it hasn't been awfully long, but today marks one whole month of akuma-free activity. Before that, the longest time had been one week. Ladybug and Chat Noir haven't outright said anything yet, but..." Alya trailed off, glancing back to her computer screen.
During the first week without any akumas, Marinette hadn't worried very much. Like Alya said, there had been weeks in the past when Hawk Moth was inactive. It was rare, but it'd happened more than once.
A few months ago, her reaction to this would have been entirely different. When she first became Ladybug and got into the rhythm of the frequent attacks, every day that passed without an akuma left her more and more on edge until they finally fought one, leaving her in a never-ending cycle of stress and uneasiness. Not that she necessarily wanted to fight an akuma, but her brain was still so overwhelmed by the responsibilities and implications of being a god-honest superhero that 'no akumas' equaled 'Hawk Moth is doing something' which equaled 'time to panic.'
It was on those days, when she was practically ill with anticipation, that she realized how genuine of a person, and true a friend, Chat really was. He might've been an admittedly skilled and quick learner for someone with as little experience in the suit as she did, but that hadn't stopped her from assuming that he was an egotistical, flirting, pun-making joke. And while those assumptions were actually absolutely true, he'd proven that he was also so much more than that.
The very first time Hawk Moth had gone AWOL for an entire week, Marinette remembered how, while she had a nervous breakdown, Chat had remained level-headed and took the reins of the situation. She exhausted herself by worrying while he exhausted himself twice as much by patrolling every single corner of the city with every second of free time he could grab, just so he could at least try to put her at ease. He knew she was scared—and, looking back, she realized that he must have been, too, because they were fourteen and the only people (creatures? gods?) with experience were their kwamis, who didn't know what was happening——but he'd proven that he was much more mature and emotionally stable than she could ever hope to be.
It was because of Chat that the next akuma-free week had been easier. During the next one, she was finally able to breathe. The fourth was spent stargazing and enjoying the pros of the quiet. The fifth was honestly nothing more than a vacation week. The sixth week had practically been a celebration—until it stretched into a seventh. And an eighth, a ninth and a tenth.
Suddenly, she was back to square one, and... it... it made her feel vulnerable. Her instincts had implanted a permanent sinking feeling in her gut. Even Chat couldn't help but admit that there was definitely something wrong. They were running themselves dry with patrols and searches and plans, but it did little good when they barely knew anything about the man they were after—or, rather, seeing that he now had the upper hand in the situation, the man after them.
She hoped that the painful smile on her face seemed reassuring. "I'm sure that they're doing everything they can."
"It's not that I doubt them," Alya sighed. "I'm just... worried for them. That Hawkmoth guy must be planning or something. What if one of them gets hurt? I mean, mon dieu, remember when Chat Noir got set on fire?"
(She really could have done without the reminder.)
"They're heroes, Alya," she said gently as the heart-stopping memory literally burned in her mind. "There's bound to be occupational hazards and scary situations. But if there's any danger or anything we need to know, I know they'll tell us."
Alya was quiet for a moment before she seemed to accept this response. "Yeah. I guess. But I'm still gonna be worried."
"I'm sure they appreciate being thought of," Marinette replied sincerely. "But seriously, don't beat yourself up over this."
'Because that's my job.'
Alya closed out of her blog and opened up the paper bag. "Okay, okay, I won't—oooh, croissants! You're the best, Mari."
As soon as she said it, Nino and Adrien just happened to be walking right past their table. The DJ's eyes lit up and he tugged on Adrien's arm to get him to stop walking. "Did someone say food?"
Alya quickly shoved one in her mouth. "Noo..."
Nino leaned over her and tried to snatch the bag from her hands. "Gimme!"
Alya hissed and slapped his hand away.
Marinette deflated and leaned back into her chair as Nino continued to try to steal Alya's lunch. She didn't think she could have handled talking about the 'akuma crisis' for much longer, and was grateful for the distraction, even if the noise did cause the librarian to glare at them.
She was so wrapped up in trying to calm her nerves that she didn't notice Adrien standing behind her. "Marinette."
Startled, Marinette jerked in her chair, and the momentum caused the chair to topple over with a loud clatter. Tikki let out a small squeal of surprise, but it was muffled by the fabric of her purse. A few people looked up from their work to stare at the source of the disruption and the librarian's glare grew twice as cold. Her cheeks flared with embarrassment. Alya turned away from Nino to ask her friend if she was okay, but then she caught Nino using the distraction to try to pry the bag from her hands and went back to defending her food.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry," Adrien rushed, holding out a hand to help her up. His green eyes were wide with concern and he stared at her guiltily, his cheeks blushing. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Marinette stared into his worried green eyes and felt her blush grow hotter. "I—Uh—N-no—It's—I—It's—"
Adrien grabbed her hand and gently pulled her to her feet. She stared at their entwined hands and was so shocked that Adrien Agreste was holding her hand that she forgot to freak out and try to pull away. Adrien didn't seem to mind, or even notice, that he was still holding her hand as he looked her over. "Are you okay? No bumps or bruises?"
"I'm fine," she squeaked. She clenched her free hand to prevent herself from facepalming.
He didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure? I really—"
Her heart fluttered in her chest. He was so worried about her. Even though she knew that he was just being his usual always-looking-out-for-others self, it was flattering for him to be paying her so much attention. Somehow this gave her strength to voice a few coherent-enough sentences without combusting. "No, Adrien, it's okay. Really. I've had worse falls. Don't worry about it."
Marinette tried not stare at the way he pursed his lips before he nodded. "Okay. But at least let me walk you back to class. The bell's gonna ring in a few minutes."
Her heart leaped into her throat. "Okay," she breathed. They were still holding hands.
As they walked towards the exit, Marinette spared a quick glance behind her to see if Alya could see what was happening. Alya and Nino appeared to have miraculously already made up and were each eating a croissant while watching Adrien and Marinette leave the library. Both of them wore the exact same shit-eating grin and knowing look.
She blushed and turned around in time for Adrien let go of her hand to hold open the door for her. Her blush deepened as she stepped out into the hallway, and she swore she heard Alya sing "Have fun~" right before the door shut behind them.
"Shall we?" he asked, holding his hand out to her again, and Marinette barely managed to not scream because Adrien was being extremely cute and chivalrous and actually wanted to hold her hand willingly and it was not a drill, what the hell was she supposed to do, this was not in the handbook.
She would have stood there all day in an internal panic if she could, but the seconds were ticking by and there was only so much time before the innocent interaction became awkward. So, in a spur of the moment, she decided to throw the proverbial handbook out the proverbial window and answered Adrien's question by daringly taking his hand in hers, hoping that she didn't seem overeager as she did so. His cheeks pinkened ever so slightly, and he gave her a small smile before the two of them started to walk (well, Adrien walked, but Marinette floated) down the stairs.
They walked in a surprisingly easy silence. Somewhere along the way their feet started to move in sync with each other, and their simultaneous footfalls echoed quietly throughout the mostly empty hall. They allowed themselves to walk slowly because they still had a few minutes to spare, and it still had yet to start raining, so there wasn't any danger in getting wet. Their combined hands swung gently back and forth, and Marinette found herself lost in the rhythm. If someone told her this morning that she would be strolling the school hand in hand with the love of her life, she would have never believed them. She stole a glance at her companion to see if he was as content as she was—
—but immediately fell off of cloud nine when she saw an uncomfortable look etched on his normally relaxed face, much like the one Alya had been sporting earlier.
Her heart instantly began to pound hysterically, because that must mean that she was making him uncomfortable and damn it Marinette you had one job to do—
"Marinette," he said, his voice soft and devoid of all the amusement it'd held just minutes prior. His walking slowed to a stop, and she stopped beside him, still holding his hand, being extra careful not to trip over her own feet and fall in front of Adrien for what would be the second time in the past hour (albeit not even close to the record). They locked eyes, and she saw him looking at her with what appeared to be... hesitation?
"Y-yes?" she asked just as softly. Her heart was pounding dangerously fast now, and she tried to settle it by attempting to clear her mind of negativity, but her efforts were in vain.
Adrien was obviously trying not to seem tense, but his shoulders were still visibly stiff. "Well, uh, back in the library, before you fell over, I... I wanted to talk to you about... something."
Marinette's heart halted to a stop. Whatever he needed to talk about couldn't have been any good if he was so nervous about it. He was probably going to tell her that he found out about her crush and thought that she was disgusting, or something as equally lethal to her soul. She tried to open her mouth and say something, but all she could let out was an unintelligible gurgle.
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to continue while Marinette braced herself, but a loud explosion in the courtyard cut off whatever he was going to say.
The two of them whirled around. It was seconds before classroom doors opened behind them and students tried to catch a glimpse of the noise's source while the teachers fought to contain them. The doors of the library slammed open and students poured out onto the balcony and stairs, a wide-eyed Alya and Nino being two of the first to appear. Marinette hurried to the edge of the walkway and peered down at the courtyard, her throat instantly tightening when she saw what it was.
The akuma was hunched over in a crater she made from the impact of her landing. She appeared to be a young woman, with her hair in a braided updo and her body clothed in a shimmering body suit that looked like a night sky full of stars. Slowly, she rose to her feet, allowing the crowd to get a better look at her.
Tied around her waist were a series of long red, orange and yellow sashes that trailed all the way to her feet, along with what appeared to be a filled grenade belt. Her shoulders and chest were wrapped with a black transparent shawl that fluttered in the wind. Her face was coated with a glittery substance, caked around her eyes in a mask-like fashion and then gradually attenuating as it went down her face, to the point where it was only dusting her chin. Strapped on her back was a sheath of glimmering arrows, and in her hand was a fire-red bow, the length shaped like a telescope. A smile spread across her face, and even from all the way up there, Marinette could see the woman's eyes darken with hatred.
A few smart people were already moving away, taking cover in classrooms or booking for the exits. Others, like Alya, who was already recording the akuma with her phone, or Marinette, who was frozen dumbly in her spot and had forgotten how to move and think, were making themselves easy targets. In the back of her mind, she knew she needed to be finding a place to hide and transform, but her reflexes were being hindered by the overflow of shock and fear rusting the gears in her brain and locking them in place. Her knees were shaking with the effort to keep her on her own two feet and her chest started to ache from the lack of oxygen filling her lungs, but she couldn't remember what breathing was, let alone how to do it. Tikki was pounding against her thigh from within her purse, trying to elicit a response—any response—but to no avail.
She was snapped out of her daze by a pale-faced Adrien tugging at their still-combined hands. The gears in her brain broke free, and she gasped for air, but ended up choking on the sharp intake and stumbling backwards into Adrien. He let go of her hand and grasped her shoulders to keep her upright. His hands were shaking. "Marinette—"
"I am Falling Star!" the akuma boomed, nocking an arrow and aiming above the library entrance. Her smile grew wider. "Prepare to be blown out of this world!"
Everything seemed to explode at once. First, it was the arrow that fired into the arch above the library, which flew like an actual shooting star and hit its target with a ball of flames. Then it was the students near the library screaming and tumbling down the steps in a flurry of panic to avoid the flaming debris of their school. Then it was Marinette, who watched in horror as Alya froze with fear at the sight of a large falling piece of building tumbling down towards her exact location. A scream was about to bubble its way up her throat, when Nino pulled through the crowd and managed to jerk her friend away in time.
Marinette couldn't breathe properly. She turned to Adrien, who looked like he was going to throw up. He seemed to be having as difficult of a time grasping the situation as she did, which was saying a lot. But before she could even say his name, he quickly grasped her hand and tugged her through the quickly thickening crowd. "We need to get you out of here!"
(Actually, it was he who needed to get out of there, and she who needed to stay and fight. But Marinette didn't have the strength or mind to resist.)
They had only made it halfway down the hall, Adrien weaving a path through the crowd with surprising stealth, when someone slammed forcefully into Marinette, causing her hand to be torn from his. She gasped and crashed into the wall, blinking as her head spun. She heard Adrien call her name, but just as she straightened to see where he was, an arrow exploded two classrooms away and knocked her off her feet. Marinette spluttered as smoke and kicked-up dust clogged the air, pieces of wood and plaster showering over her like bullets.
Then she was suddenly getting picked up. She couldn't see who it was through the dust, but she could feel that they were wearing some sort of... leather?
Oh.
When the dust finally cleared, Marinette looked up to see Chat Noir's face. His face was uncharacteristically hardened, preventing her from being able to read his emotions. He didn't meet her eyes.
Only when Chat took out his staff and started to extend them off the walkway did Marinette remember how to talk. "Wait, wait! Adrien! I need to find Adrien!"
She thought she felt Chat cringe, but she could have just imagined it. "I saved him before," he assured, although his vacant voice was anything but assuring. "I told him to go home." He gently placed her on her feet, and only then did he look at her. His face was serious, but there was underlying fear cracking through. "Go home, Marinette."
He didn't wait for her to reply; he extended his staff and went off to find the akuma.
In front of her, Falling Star had started throwing bombs that exploded into glittery dark blue and purple dust cloud. She threw the bomb at a group of students rushing for a classroom—poofing them into the same dust. There was no trace that they had even been people.
Marinette might've stood there all day, numb and nonfunctioning. It wasn't like her to be freezing up like this, and she didn't know why and she hated it. She was always so quick to act. Fear was always present when fighting akuma, but she learned to suppress it, if only for the sake of Paris. But this, what she was feeling right now, was too powerful for her to restrain, and—
"Marinette!"
Startled into action, Marinette spun around, searching for the origin of the voice. Then she felt Tikki wriggling around in her purse, and realized that she had yet to acknowledge the kwami. She quickly opened her purse, and Tikki darted out before she even removed her hand. Her blue eyes were alight with rare anger, but mostly worry. "Marinette! We need to transform!"
Marinette felt her throat tighten. "Tikki."
That one word was all it took to dissolve all traces of her anger, leaving just the worry. "Marinette..."
"...I'm scared."
Tikki flew to her charge's cheek and rubbed against her soothingly. "I know."
"This doesn't feel right."
"I know."
"Chat needs me."
"I know."
"I can't do this."
Tikki flew right into her face, her eyes steely and her voice fierce. "Yes you can."
Marinette swallowed. Took a deep breath. Closed her eyes. Opened them.
She wouldn't let him win.
"Tikki, spots on!"
...
Present
...
Ladybug flattened herself against the Eiffel Tower, trying to keep her heavy breathing as quiet as possible, even though the akuma probably couldn't hear her from all the way up there. She had a perfect view of Chat Noir, in his own hiding spot behind a tree, his staff poised and ready in his hand. Falling Star was parading down the street, getting ready to fire her next arrow. Chat looked up and met his partner's eyes, waiting for her signal. She nodded.
So far, luck had not been on the heroes' side. This was their third game plan—Plan A ended with Falling Star chasing them around the entire city while pelting them with her Stardust Bombs (which turned its victims into actual stardust), and Plan B ended with them narrowly escaping a shower of Shooting Arrows. She seemed to have an unlimited amount of both, which made it incredibly difficult to get close enough to grab her bow; Lucky Charm and Cataclysm were, for the most part, close-range attacks, while Falling Star's grenades and arrows could hit a target at any distance. Ladybug had already needed to detransform twice after two failed Lucky Charms, and Chat Noir three times after three failed Cataclysms. But Ladybug thought they had her this time—or, at least she hoped they did. She was hanging onto Chat's brief words before they departed: "The third time's the charm."
(But they were just so tired. Even if their plan had been flawless, something was bound to falter in the execution. Chat had looked like he was barely able to keep his head up and Ladybug wasn't fairing much better. Her mind and emotions were muddled and she was trying so hard to keep them down and focus, but no matter how super that mask made her seem, she was still human.)
It happened so fast.
Chat Noir leapt out from behind the tree and pounced on Falling Star, slamming her to the ground. Star screamed and flipped Chat over so that she was the one pinning him down. Chat worked his leg free and kneed her in the stomach, causing her to grunt and slide off him. Panting, he opened his mouth to call for a Cataclysm, which was Ladybug's signal to move, when Star quickly rebounded and slammed him down to the ground again. Ladybug watched in horror as she reached into her sheath and pulled out a single arrow. Chat struggled to get free, but his exhaustion weighed him down, and Star was too strong.
And damn it if she didn't try. She'd tried so hard. She had spent the entire fight suppressing her fears as best as she could, making sure her emotions didn't take control. But seeing her partner—her lifeline, her other half, the one who always knew how to make it okay—like that, struggling as Falling Star lowered an arrow to his chest—
...
She just snapped.
...
"LUCKY CHARM!"
Both her partner and the akuma looked up to her spot on the tower, one out of panic and the other out of mild surprise. Falling Star withdrew the arrow from its position above Chat's heart and resheathed it. She stood up. "Look what just entered the atmosphere."
Ladybug didn't even bother to look at what the charm was as she caught it. All her emotional turmoil—all her fear and doubt and sadness and exhaustion and hurt and so much more—all of it had melted together into a ball of blinding pure, unadulterated rage.
She was going to make Hawk Moth pay. And she was going to start by burning out a star.
With impressive speed, Ladybug swung herself off the Eiffel Tower and practically launched herself towards the akuma. Her face was hot with anger, her blue eyes ignited with pulsing adrenaline, her sneer filled with disgust. Her vision was so tainted by red that she couldn't even see Falling Star, but she didn't even care. She extended her hands, ready to throttle the evil out of the akuma, a warcry starting to tear its way through her throat—
...
"LADYBUG WATCH OUT!"
...
The following number of events occurred in a span of mere seconds.
First, just moments before Ladybug reached Falling Star, said akuma fired an arrow in her direction before Chat could even gather the physical strength to stop her. He screamed to Ladybug in warning a split second before the arrow exploded midair. The force of the explosion threw Ladybug backwards into the tower, before gravity pulled her plummeting to the ground.
Incensed, Chat disregarded all protocol and professionalism and slugged Falling Star in the face so hard that he heard a loud crack. It threw her backwards a good couple of feet and knocked her out cold, effectively allowing him to snatch the akumatized object. He snapped the telescope in half and caught the butterfly in his gloved hand, his breathing heavy. The anger quickly left his body, and he fell to his knees and keeled over, barely able to stay conscious, before he remembered what happened to His Lady.
People in nearby houses, who had been watching the fight from their windows, hurried outside. News reporters stationed on the edge of the danger zone zoomed their cameras in on the fallen hero. Other people that had been hiding nearby to catch the action, such as Alya and Nino, rushed forward to get a better look. Chat ran—or, at this point, stumbled—over to his unmoving partner as fast as he could, his heart beating dangerously fast and bile rising in his throat at the thought of his worst nightmare coming true.
Once they all saw her properly, however, everyone went deathly still.
...
...
...
She was in too much pain to realize that the impact caused her to detransform.
...
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The crowd stared in shock.
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Many gasped. Some screamed.
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Alya's phone clattered to the ground.
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Tikki cried.
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And Chat's expression had never looked more horrified.
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"...Marinette?"
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...
who needs happiness when angst can just rip your heart to pieces
I posted this on Ao3 last night at like 1 am and forgot to come here whoops. I have the same username if you want to find me.
FanFiction doesn't let you make blank lines so I had to fill them with ellipses. Bear with me.
I was hoping to insert a lot more amazing space puns, but it didn't... fit the mood.
(Yes, we will find out what Adrien wanted to tell Marinette. Promise.)
