After a long day in Miz-K Studios, Setsuna, a girl with long black hair, sans her ponytail, was walking by with a tray of coffee. She sat down and gave a cup to Vincent Payne, a huge burly man with dark skin and a black shirt and jeans. He had a flattop hairstyle and a beard. Setsuna gave him some coffee, as he said, in an Australian accent, "Thanks, luv."
"No problem, Vincent…" She said.
"So, where's Cucumber? The bloke sure gave me a gist of the fic, since our Authority fic we did."
"Well, probably with Esdeath, his new robot lover."
"So, he finally got over his wife?"
"She's been dead for 20 years, and Esdeath is dead, too. Not big surprise…"
Heavy spoke, "Not big surprisesirprus gib ton."
Setsuna said, "Of course, what I don't get is why he acts surly, owning a Robot Esdeath… Fembot… Gynoid, you name it…"
"I do believe the correct term is android, a humanoid machine that simulate human mannerism."
She was confused, as he said, "What? I did study in high school, and was captain of me rugby team. I'm a musclehead, but I ain't that dumb, mate."
"No shit." Setsuna said.
Vincent asked, "So, what happened? Did they have sex, shag a little, or maybe a little S&M?"
"PLEASE! This is a family fic!"
"Not to you, Miss Konoka's Lover."
"Fine… You want to know what happened?" Setsuna said, "Well, it all started when Cucumber sponsored his fic for many companies. He did do Torgue, known for explosive ammunition, sponsor the Aloha Oe, with the addition of Dandy… lemme see, BooBies, for the FREE pickles and food, and, oh, yes. Some place called Night Raid Robotics."
"Night Raid Robotics?"
"It's more of a sex doll shop, but with robots. Anyway, Cucumber had to own about $250,000 worth of old Esdeath robots, obsolete and unused, and used them as his stuntwomen, all as Dent's clones. But after he finished the fic, he returned to give payment of what was left in the fanfiction's budget, after he wasted most of it for explosives and pyrotechnics…"
Cucumber in:
"Cucumber ga Kill"
Act 1 - "Kill the Cucumber"
"Here you are, my good man… $250,000 paid in full, for damages and ownership." Cucumber, a man with a bald head, wearing his black and red Deadpool shirt and blue jeans, said to the clerk, after giving him a huge bag of cash, "And a little extra for the damages to your dolls."
"Splendid!" The man in a white shirt and green hair said, "Such a stylish way to sponsor our fembots. Since the end of Akame ga Kill, we wanted to jazz up fanservice."
"And that's why you built this Esdeath doll?"
"Indeed. But there's more!"
He showed a display line of different girls from Akame ga Kill. There were girls that are replicates of Sheele, Mine, Seryu, Chelsea, Leone, and Ayame. The man said that there are NO Najenda Robots, since they disapprove of one-eyed robots.
"Ouch. But I see that you spared no expense on these newer dolls…" Cucumber said, "I had to use more of my $30.5mil budget. Luckily, the others got paid. I see you added a cute girl in glasses, and that furry cat-wolf fembot… or something."
"Oh, yes. Since the fanfic was finished, and our sponsors got wind of it, we had to increase production. Look! We have your Sheele 5000s, your Chelsea 4000s, your Mine M-90s, your Leone 6000s, and your Akame 7000s."
He showed an empty display case with Akame, a girl with black hair and a black and red dress, in a cardboard cutout. The man said, "Of course, Akame was our bestseller, the minute your fic reached Scene 36."
"A sellout gynoid…" he said, "And what of the Esdeaths? Did you trashed them?"
The man smiled, "Oh, no, we didn't. We have already tested out the brand new Esdeath 7000s. I mean, you bought all of our outdated 4000s, 5000s, and 6000s. And you did destroy most of them, with your wild slashing techniques."
"Hey, I didn't want to make them go to waste." Cucumber smirked, "I just love being me. I did salvage some leftover parts for you. They're still whole, I mean. I do my own stunts, ya know."
He asked, "So, does she do anything? She looks… rather…"
He blushed, as he saw Esdeath, standing in place, with her revealing gray uniform and hat on, with long white hair, pale skin, huge breasts, and blue eyes. She also has a tattoo of the mark of her Teigu. The man said that it doubles as an LED light, for when she wants to recharge or is in need of updates. Cucumber said, "She's beautiful. But is she like her predecessors?"
"All in 500,000 ways… including the beautiful ways of an icy Kama Sutra. Not to mention 1,001 uses for torture."
"Whoa… She still has her Akame ga Kill persona?"
"Indeed, she does. But with sexual favors."
Cucumber looked at the Esdeath Robot, as he continued, "Yeah, and I am over Becky, after that horrific moment with one of your Esdeaths. Let's just say that I had to get over a two decade long grief process."
"Indeed. It has been 20 years, huh?"
Cucumber smiled, as he felt Esdeath Robot's face. He then blushed and whispered, "Like Becky, only sexier and hot in white eyeliner… She wants me… I want you…"
The man asked, "What?"
"Oh, nothing. I like this Esdeath. Too bad she's far too expensive."
"Well, she's yours, for only $25,000."
"I'll take it. I can risk not doing a sequel."
"But – lemme finish – for you, it's on the house for this 87-54-85 beauty, for making me famous, and putting Night Raid Robotics on the map… unlike Maidens for Hire, which is the #1 robotics distribution. NYAH! SO! Shall it be giftwrapped, or should we turn her on for you?"
"Nah, deliver her to me. I figure I needed a new flame. Also, I never knew that they resemble the deceased women in Akame ga Kill. Isn't the manga still ongoing?"
"Not all of them. Akame is still alive. We wanted to create her sister, Kurome… but Akame refuses. Said something about killing me for her likeness."
"I see…" Cucumber huffed, and then said to the 4th wall, "Yeah, guys. This guy knows when he hates being killed. Plus, from what I read, Kurome might be terminally ill. Bad call."
He asked him, "And what of the girls' personality?"
"Well, due to restrictions of the Empire, we can only use their voices, movements, and body measurements." The man said, "Being of stylish beauties, we cannot mimic them as ruthless killers, but pleasure models for all… provided they are given a level to start."
"And what are the levels?"
"We can go up to 3, as full-on sex… Level 1 is highly recommended, since their charm and harem is addicting."
"Say no more. Just deliver the bitch to me. Also, does she come in spare clothing?"
XXXXX
Setsuna narrated, as Cucumber plugged Esdeath in, "So, Cucumber had to wait four hours to recharge his beauty, after owning him, after doing that horrendous fic we got to be in. He waited, hoping to learn more of the girl he had eyes on. After waiting five hours, he left with Mike, and did his brotherly activities. It was smart to wait, but neglecting his own robot girlfriend… it's tough.
That night, he decided to test her out…"
Esdeath was in her white shirt, as it was open, with white panties. Cucumber turned her on, as Esdeath flashed her tattoo, lit up in a bright red color, and opened her eyes. She smiled and said, "Hello there, Master… I am Esdeath 7000… I am your new girlfriend…"
Cucumber said, "Seriously, how cliché can you get?"
He said, "You want to make out?"
Esdeath beeped, "Certainly, master. Level 1 activated… Dear master… Cuddle to me…"
They started to make out in bed, as Setsuna narrated, "Well, it was like magic, in a sexual way… and Cucumber enjoyed every minute of it. But then, when he activated Level 3, that's when the trouble begat."
Esdeath kneeled to a sweaty Cucumber, as she whispered, "Darling… Now, lemme taste that Cucumber of yours, since it's your name… Level 3, beginning…"
She crawled to him and was about to remove her shirt. She tossed it to the floor, and her tattoo lit up blue. Cucumber asked, "UH, why is it blue?"
Esdeath shushed him, placing her finger on his lips and said, "Don't speak… Let's do it… I want you, so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-."
PING!
Her eyes went into a solid blue, like the Blue Screen of Death, and suddenly crashed. She was motionless and frozen, as she was buzzing a bit. Cucumber asked, "Esdeath? Baby?"
He griped, "Oh, man! Level 3, and it just crashed! Damn it!"
He placed the broken Esdeath in a seated position and plugged her in. He consulted the manual said read: "In case your Night Raid Robot suddenly crashes, restart her systems by pressing the switch in her navel, and wait until four hours, before reactivating her. NOTE: Make sure she is plugged in, for better results."
"Perfect." He said, "And just when things were getting hot."
He turned her off and went to sleep. He said, "You know, I'll stick to level 2, just in case. All it does is nightly favors…"
He added, to the 4th wall, "If you ask me, Level 3 is in working order, but someone should patch up that glitch, going maximum."
He smirked, as he fell asleep.
Setsuna narrated, "Day in, day out, he was in love with his new robot… Sadly, every time she went to give Cucumber some sex, she always crashes. But that stopped. All she does now is waste her battery power, which takes about 4 to 6 hours. That battery isn't for forever, you know. Cucumber was surly, knowing that he was "cock-blocked", every time Esdeath Robot wants his body. But my guess it was something else. Weeks went out, and Cucumber was ready to go. He said to his lovely gynoid that he'll be back, as long as she remains stable and warmed up for sex."
Cucumber was leaving, in his trademark green pickle shirt and white pants. He said, "Esdeath, baby, I'll be home late. About 8ish. Keep those icy features warm for me. Uh, climate joke. Damn!"
He left, as Esdeath giggled, blushing heavily, sitting on the bed, "Mmm… He's so sexy… I can wait. I shall go on standby mode, befo-."
She froze and suddenly flashed orange on her tattoo, "Update available… now downloading update… Estimated time: six hours, 34 minutes… Downloading commencing…"
Outside, Cucumber said, "Good! Now I can relax and go have a fun day!"
He cheered, "THIS IS IT! I get to have it with that cute little Esdeath! Goodbye, Becky, my late wife who told me to move on, which I'll gladly accept for her sake, and hello to a brand new lovelife, modeled after a late soldier of the Revolutionary Army~! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!"
Just then, a police car drove by and a man in a blue hat called to him, "Hey, Jerry. You wanna go watch the view of the G Corporation, while we eat chili dogs?"
"DO I?" Cucumber cheered to Mike, "Thanks, man! I needed some down time, before 8."
"Why, what's up?"
He stepped in, as he said, "I'll explain on the way. CHILI DOG, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The police car drove off, as they head to the building of G Corporation.
XXXXX
Mike & Cucumber were sitting in a picnic blanket, as they watched the carnage of soldiers attacking the G Corporation. Mike said, "See? Those puny army guys have no chance, against Kazuya Mishima… The guy was a hero, now he's such a jerk."
Cucumber said, "Yeah, I know. Plus, who knew chili dogs taste awesome, other than Mobius? Sonic's chili dogs are bleh…"
Mike stated, "By the way, that talk we had about those Night Raid Robots. Nice call, since it has been 20 years, after Becky died. It's tough to lose a sister-in-law. The downside of it is that you have no kids."
"Gimme a break, Mike!" Cucumber barked, "Dent killed my wife, I killed him back, we never planned on kids! That jerk took the only shred of happiness I have ever known! And that is only because she was with me, during the shooting of my fic."
"Yeah, I'm surprised her ghost did all that, during the shoot. Weird, huh? I thought someone portrayed your wife, just for the hell of it. Also, that gynoid. I was hoping you'd get Akame, but-."
"Nah. They were sold out." Cucumber explained.
He said to the 4th wall, "Cue the flashback."
Cut to Night Raid Robotics, as he was by the Akame standee. He pointed at it and said, "See, readers? Sold out of Akame."
He gasped, and then smiled, "Hey… A fourth wall breaking the fourth wall… That's like sixteen walls."
Cut back to G Corporation, as he continued, "Esdeath was a true girlfriend for me. But she's dead now, and her likeness is portrayed in plastic skin, soft realistic hair, cushy breasts that are pillows, and hands that succumb your arousal levels to the MAX! I mean, take this chili dog, bro!"
"You take it. I'm stuffed."
"No, listen. This is like a beautiful woman. You like the beauty of its art, and enjoy it to bits. But one isn't enough. You finish one, you get another."
He took another chili dog and said, "Of course, me, I have suffered two decades of being a widower. The only thing we have in common, my Esdeath and me, we're very hostile."
Mike explained, "Yeah, but this the same Esdeath that killed her one true love, who represents the Revolutionary Army, and then committed suicide with Tatsumi's corpse, turning into ice, and shattering themselves into little pieces."
"Can you not say?"
"I can say. I never read the manga."
"Mike, it's cool! Esdeath and I are just dating. You should get one for our brothers."
"Nah. I'm still finding a spouse, after Julie dumped me."
"Cool."
Mike then said, "By the way, I'd rest and NOT do sex with your Esdeath gynoid, if I were you. I mean, you had about 7 chili dogs, today. And we only bought 3 baker's dozen."
Cucumber said, "Meh, I'm good until 8 at night. Plus, I can handle a little mustard gas."
"Not that. I mean, you can't have sex on a very full stomach. You only eat pickles, let alone you have such an appetite."
"Hey, pickles is me. I love the taste of kosher and sliced in the morning."
Mike said, "Okay. But just do not crush her beautiful hip and butt with your fat ass…"
Cucumber huffed, "Oh, alright. I mean she is a delicate machine. Maybe you're right. Besides, for weeks I have got nothing… not even Becky won't do me, from the afterlife."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Alright, fine! Maybe in a day or two, I'll get it on with my Esdeath robot girl. But that's all! I'm growing impatient, and I know I'm guessing that I won't get any, until tonight."
"Right. Oh, hey! Tekken Force coming. Heads up."
They watched on, as the battle progresses from far away.
XXXXX
Cucumber came home, as he moaned, "Honey, I'm home!"
He had a full stomach, as he grumbled, "Man… Did we escape the melee, after all those baker's dozen times three… That's 36 chili dogs, by the way."
NOTE: A baker's dozen is 13, and Mike had three baker's dozen, which is 39.
He went to his room and saw his robot, in her baggy shirt and panties, plugged in and beeping.
"Updating… 65% downloaded… Updating… Updating…"
Cucumber moaned, "Great. About time those updates are working."
He held her hands and stood her up in a standing position. He said, "One day, my love… We shall have it on. Esdeath, who needs Tatsumi? Your memory of fanservice and harem-like bods are what makes you legend. You're such a cute piece of ass. Anyway, we'll get it on, once the updates are finished… and then, you're all mine."
His stomach gurgled, as he giggled, "But first, a trip to the can. B-R-B, babe~!"
He zipped to the bathroom, heading to the toilet. Esdeath beeped, as she was updating, "Updating… 67% downloading… estimated time – 2 hours, 27 minutes…"
Of course, Cucumber knew it wasn't right to do it, right away. After his escapades in his own toilet, he took a nap, and left Esdeath on standby mode.
XXXXX
A few more weeks have passed, and the results were the same.
That night, Esdeath was giggling, as she was hugging Cucumber. They started to kiss, as Esdeath stripped down to just her black panties, with her long hair covering her breasts. She dug into his pants and said, "Now, how about that Cucumber you have, since you're named Cucumber?"
He smiled and said, "What do you think? I'm all for your lust and romance, babe."
They kissed again, as Esdeath unzipped his pants. She kneeled down and slowly pulled his pants down, but then…
"Error… System malfunction… System mal-… Error… Esdeath 7000 not responding…"
She froze in place, as her face was frozen, showing her mouth open and her tongue sticking out. Smoke emitted from within her body, as she slurred, "I am Esdeath… I want your cucummmmmmmmmmmmmmm… rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"
She powered down and died, as Cucumber looked down. He was furious, as he snarled, "Geez… All she did was pants me."
Days later, Esdeath was in her panties, again, as Cucumber placed her on the wall. Her breasts were pressed on the wall, while her hands were planted up. Cucumber rubbed his hip onto the gynoid's butt, as she moaned, "YES! Yes… Do me… Make me feel drrrrrrrrr-."
Her eyes blipped blue, as her tattoo lit red. Cucumber saw the frozen and broken gynoid, as he moaned, "Shit! Not again!"
Esdeath smoked again from inside her body, as her face was cringed, with her eyes half-closed and her mouth wide open in a circle. She froze again, before they would begin.
A few more days later, they were in bed, as Esdeath was over him, on all-fours. She giggled, with her butt upward, and wearing her white shirt, "Now… Shall we, my love?"
Cucumber asked, "Uh, how do I know you won't freeze, like before?"
She placed her finger on his mouth and said, "I'm programmed to withstand my flaws. Now, you don't want to anger the leader of an Imperial Army. Let us see how big your Imperial Arms is, once I begin to su-."
She froze, as she beeped, "System error… Eroge… Eroge… Error… File not fou-… Nnnnnnnnnnnn…"
She collapsed, as her eyes went black, landing on Cucumber. Her body let out more smoke, as he griped, "WILL THIS NEVER END? I want one-on-one with her! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?"
Esdeath was broken, again, as Cucumber was, once again, cock-blocked. Day after day, he charmed and fondled his new gynoid, but no luck on going all the way on Esdeath, since she crashes and powers down, now and again. Cucumber felt like he was cursed, since he's dating a robot, programmed for pleasure. Too bad that her body wasn't stable enough.
Afterwards, after three months of NO sex, he called Night Raid Robotics, as he complained about the robot breaking down. The man explained that Esdeath 7000 was a test robot, designed for sex… However, she has already been through certain updates that can be fixed. But the man was a little peeved that he wasn't satisfied, since Esdeath is programmed for sex, on Level 3, and yet she has broken down, at Level 1, first time around. He promises Cucumber that repairs will be made, as he'll fix this problem, once he finds the right parts. After that, he concluded that if the original Esdeath 7000 breaks down, continuously, Cucumber would give them a call, and they'll replace the broken gynoid with another Esdeath, free of charge. Cucumber agreed, as he said, "Good. To be honest, it feels like technology cursed me, but good."
He hung up, as he turned to the Esdeath on his bed. He proceeded to strip her into her naked motionless body. He carried the gynoid away to his closet and pulled out a metal trashcan. He dumped the broken robot in, as he said, "You know, maybe they'll fix you, but right now, my sex drive is next to nil. Rust in peace, you stupid prototype!"
He lied down in bed, as the naked gynoid of Esdeath remained in his trashcan.
Setsuna continued, as she was upset, "And that's how it was. Days later, the technicians came in and repaired her, but stayed with Cucumber, to produce more Esdeath sex dolls… so far, he's up to Esdeath 7000.8, his eighth robot woman. But all that time, he didn't get to first base, at all, batting at zero. No one knew why she wouldn't respond to her sexual motors. Some say that Esdeath was too new, and she always malfunctions… or that Cucumber's insanity levels seeped into her servos and break her, easily. Or maybe it's like SimCity Online."
Vincent roared in anger, "OH! So he is getting screwed by lemons, eh?"
He slapped Setsuna in the face, as he yelled, standing up, "I'm going to have a word with that man who runs the sex robot place, which I think it's a scam!"
He marched off, as Setsuna pleaded, "WAIT A MINUTE, VINCENT! HEY! Cucumber won't like this… VINCE! Vincent?"
She chased after him, as she pleaded him to not do anything drastic, like destroying the Night Raid Robotics place.
XXXXX
Meanwhile, in Cucumber's house, Esdeath was already being repaired, as he got a call from Night Raid Robotics. It was the man that gave him the endless repair jobs for Esdeath.
"Sir, great news!" He said, on the phone, "We have some Akames available, in case you need to have a safer working robot."
Cucumber asked, "Gee, I don't know… I have been celibate for months, and malfunctions have cock-blocked me… Is this Akame in working condition?"
"Just fresh from the factory, and updated, too."
"What about Esdeath? I mean, it's wrong to keep these two, being they are enemies."
"Oh, not to worry, Mr. Holowitz. This one will be paid for, and the updates will make sure that there will be no friction between beauty robots; only because the Akame/Esdeath feud was long ago. But there's also that Mine/Seryu thing…"
"Huh? How so?"
The clerk explained how the Seryu Robot has problems getting along with Mine, Chelsea, and Sheele, on account the REAL Seryu battled them, long ago. Cucumber was amazed by the updates, and the features in Akame, he decided to buy one. The clerk said that it's already paid for, and should be delivered to him, shortly. He also suggested that he and Akame Robot should have the Esdeath Robot turned off.
"Fine. I mean, Esdeath doesn't know… If they do, what could it mean?"
The clerk giggled, "You'll see."
He hung up, as Cucumber groaned, "Oy.", knowing it could be bad.
XXXXX
One week later, the Akame Robot arrived for him, as he stood her straight. She was in a black sleeveless dress, with a red necktie, a red belt, and red gloves. Akame started moving, as Cucumber said, "I already turned her on. Just so you know. It has been hours."
Akame spoke, with her red eyes flashing, "Hello, master. I am Akame. I am your new girlfriend."
She hugged him, as he blushed,"Okay… not how I expected, but…"
He asked her, "You want to make out?"
Akame smiled, "Level 1… Let's cuddle. Shall we?"
They started to kiss each other on the lips, as Akame moaned, removing her tie. He stopped and asked, "Uh, are you set to Level 3 or Level 2? Or is this out of impulse?"
Akame blushed, "You already have an Esdeath Robot… Just pretend I'm her. Besides, that big-breasted robot malfunctions, due to girth, i.e. mass."
He asked, "Well, what of you?"
She blushed, as she removed his shirt, "I'm 81-56-83. I'm ALL-woman… And ALL yours… You don't need that ice bitch…"
He said, as he was nervous, "Why are you being mean?"
She slapped his thigh and said, "I am very deadly… in the art of battle. One slice, one kill… But for this, it's one kiss, one lust… Level 3 activated…"
Akame removed her black dress and revealed her ample chest, wearing white panties, with her black hair over her bare breasts. She pushed Cucumber down, as she winked, "You're mine… You hot and sexy Cucumber… Lemme have a taste of that meat… I love meat…"
Cucumber shrieked, as he struggled to escape, "WAUGH! UNDO! UNDO! I DON'T WANT AKAME, ANYMORE! UNDO, AUTHOR! UNDOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Akame held his face and whispered, "What's my name, baby?"
Cucumber sobbed, "Help me…"
Akame began to kiss and fondle him, as he was in his underwear, being forced to make out with her. She rubbed his bare chest, as she smiled and giggled, "Now, hottie… Lemme have that taaaaaaaaa-."
BZZT!
She collapsed and plopped her near-naked body onto his. Akame died down, as her battery was dead. Earlier, Cucumber recharged her, but going at Level 3 takes a lot of power. Cucumber moaned, as he was blue in the face, "Thank god. I kinda knew this would happen…"
He grumbled, as he pushed Akame off, "Fucking sex dolls. What is wrong with this place? Esdeath doesn't know. And what she doesn't know, won't kill her… or me… And even if they tried to, y'know, choppy-choppy me wee-wee, well, A) they are bounded by the Three Laws of Robotics, and B) it can always grow back. I mean, I regenerate."
He placed Akame in a kneeled position, as her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were closed. He added, "This, coming from a gynoid, modeled after the title character, who doesn't do much…"
He went to sleep, as he was exhausted, as he was, once again, cock-blocked from the Night Raid Robots. Only, this time, he was happy. But eventually, he got a refund on the Akame Robot, being she was too sultry, and that at Level 3, she becomes violent and lustful. That would later be updated for a safer programming, to avoid being sued for domestic violence. Of course, instead of a refund, he got an exchange. And he only used the Akame Robot, as his substitute girlfriend, seeing he is dating Esdeath.
XXXXX
One week later, after Esdeath was sitting in her chair, recharging, Akame Robot was in bed with Cucumber, making out from in the covers. They managed to fix up the whole programming/glitch issues on Akame 7000, but not Esdeath 7000. Akame Robot, naked, with her hair over her chest, was under the covers, as she kissed Cucumber. She whispered, "You don't need Esdeath, when you have me…"
Cucumber said, "Well, we never had sex. But this is a first to you."
Akame beeped, "I can make it happen, someday…"
They went under the covers, and continued to make love, as Esdeath remained motionless, still plugged in. Of course, Cucumber never really had sex, at all. It was caressing and fondling, but none of that. He was playing it safe, avoiding any injuries or malfunctions. But knowing our intrepid little director/fanfic writer, he can risk it.
Cucumber was in his red chair, as he said to the 4th wall, "The following fic you just saw is true. And, well, for the record, I still didn't have sex with Esdeath; Akame, too. But on the plus side, she does work well for me."
The Esdeath 7000.8 was digging into his pants, as she whispered, "Does that feel good, master?"
He said, "Let's see how long before you get replaced."
"Pardon me, master?"
"Nothing. I didn't say stop. But WATCH the merchandise! Rub the butt and upper thigh, not the frontal region!"
"Yes, master."
She continued, as she kissed on his neck. He then said to the audience, "Well, see you next chapter, people. Seriously, we're done. Just turn away."
The camera turned to the other side, as Cucumber moans offscreen, while Esdeath continued to fondle him. He gasped, as he giggled, "How frisky… OH! Not there! AH! NOT THERE! Seriously, robo-dolt! NOT THERE! Step away from the-!"
BZZT!
The scene got cut off, as the text card read "Please Stand By".
More of this, in the next chapter…
