Chapter 1:

Fire and Ice. For some reason, people assume that twins have to be complete opposites. There has to be a smart one and a dumb one. An artistic one and a logical one. A girly one and the tomboy. Well, if you ask me, that's preposterous. It's true when it comes to my sister Kaitlyn and I. But still, it's insulting that people just assume that we have nothing in common.

Kaitlyn and I are as different as night and day. We even look different. We come from a bi-racial family. Our mom is black and our dad is white. Kaitlyn is extremely fair skinned where as I am darker toned. I guess if you had to compare our skin tones to other mulatto people, she's Mariah Carey and I'm Halle Berry. She has long straight light brown hair and light brown eyes. She's tall enough to be a model, just like my older sister, and she has perfect white teeth.

Like I said, I'm darker than her. I'm not like extremely dark, but everyone knows that I'm black. Not that there's anything wrong with being dark-skinned, I'm just not. My hair is dark and curly. It's a hassle to straighten it, so I usually don't. I'm 5'3. I'm barely tall enough to reach the cookie jar on top of the fridge. My teeth are perfect, now. They weren't always like this. With many visits to the orthodontist I was finally able to proudly smile in pictures.

Some people say I'm attractive. I don't think so. I mean, growing up, I had to not only look at Kaitlyn's beauty, but also the beauty of my older sister Amber and my younger sister Melissa. They all looked the same. Tall, light-skinned, straight haired, white teeth monsters. I was definitely the black sheep in the family. I strived to look like them. I would straighten my hair every day. One time, I even attempted a perm. It had the adverse affect and I walked around looking like the Little Orphan Annie. I tried to walk in heels to make myself look taller. It worked, until I broke my ankle. I had to wear braces for years! Years of being called brace face, people trying to stick magnets to my face, and having random bits of food stuck in the metal.

Kaitlyn and I act completely different. She's the bookworm. She does ballet and figure skating. She speaks 3 languages. My mom, the world renowned fashion designer Maryelle Davis, uses Kaitlyn as a model and takes her shopping every other day.

I'm not a bookworm at all. I'm not dumb or anything. I mean, Kaitlyn uses her smarts to get her good grades. I use my smarts for personal gain. I'm more manipulative with my intellect. I paint. I draw. I tattoo. I play lead guitar in my band, The Untamable Candy Canes, and like my dad, I photograph. My dad, Thomas Davis, goes around the world taking photos of people stricken by war, disaster, and poverty. He's a photojournalist.

It is because Kaitlyn and I are so completely different that I am now sitting in the middle of my room packing up the last of my things into cardboard boxes. I looked around my room at the metropolis of boxes that I had created. I wondered how long it would take to re-enact a Godzilla theme when my mom walked into my room in her designer dress.

"Oh good. You're done packing. The movers are ready to move your boxes to the van and Amber and Nate are outside waiting for you, Kate, and Lissa," she said while counting the number of boxes that I had accumulated. She held up my Jack Skeleton skully. "I hope you're not taking this wretched thing with you," she said condescendingly. I nodded my head. "It's an absolute eye-sore. Is that all you own? Jack Skeleton things and gaudy gothic apparel?" I nodded my head again.

"I thought you were going to grow out of this whole emotional distressed phase," she pushed on. I shook my head. She realized that I wasn't in a talkative mood. But then again, when was I ever? She became frustrated and continued on her rant. "You know Jean-Paul's son? The blonde kid, oh about 5'10" that we saw at the banquet in Milan? He thought you were attractive. Perhaps you two would be dating if you didn't look dead."

I stared boredly at her. "Dad!" I screamed, still looking uninterested in my mother's presence. My dad walked into my room with a cup of coffee in his hand. "I hope you're not trying to talk to my little angel about boys again," my dad said wrapping his arms around my mom's waist, trying not to spill coffee on her. I nodded my head. "Well I guess I'm just going to have to give you a spanking then," he said with a wicked grin on his face and smacking my mom's butt. She giggled and I tried to shield my eyes from the horrific scene in front of me.

I was about to move to this place called Forks, Washington with my crazy sister and her husband, endure terribly long drive from Albany, New York to said Utensil land with my equally annoying twin and 12 year old sister, and the last thought that I'll have of my parents and I in this house is their sexual playfulness in the room that I've had since I was born.

"Oh gross!" I looked up to see that my parents had stopped playing around and were looking at my Kaitlyn standing in my doorway. "Sam's room is the only room that hasn't been put into the van and Amber told me to tell her to hurry up. I had no idea she was being held captive by our parents and their disgusting foreplay." My mom rolled her eyes. "Oh honey, this is hardly what one would call foreplay. We haven't even started undressing yet." Before my mom could go into deeper description, I bee-lined out of my room.

I walked into my Dad's studio, trying to find his "fun camera". The fun camera is the my dad's only camera that he uses for "fun". Meaning, family events, ballet recitals, guitar concerts, and random pictures of sleeping sisters were all on this camera. I found it and held it up with the lens facing my face. My camera wasn't as old-fashioned as my dad's. I tried to find out which button I had to press to take a picture when suddenly, the flash went off in my eyes, momentarily blinding me. I gasped in pain and shock and almost dropped my dad's camera. At least I knew how to take a picture now.

I crept around the house, taking pictures of my favorite things. My Dad's really soft recliner, the rocking chair that my grandmother used to hold us in as babies, our dogs, Shock, Lock, and Barrel, and of course, my Jack Skully. I crept around the hallway and looked in my room to see that all of the boxes were gone. My parents were still hugging and looking at each other as if they were the happiest people on Earth. Their nest was empty a few years earlier than was expected and I don't blame them for smiling like they'd just won the lottery. I snapped a picture.

I walked downstairs to the main floor and saw Amber, expecting a son, and her husband, Nate, rubbing Amber's belly. I snapped a picture.

I walked past them and saw Melissa crying and hugging her best friend, whose name I thought was Tiffany, and promising to skype with her daily. I took a picture.

I walked outside to see Kaitlyn with my camera snapping pictures of the rose bushes and koi pond that my mom "desperately" needed to make her dream house "complete". I was about to take a picture when Kaitlyn aimed my camera at me. We both snapped a picture of each other at the same time. I suppose we weren't complete opposites after all.

Everyone started coming outside to say their final farewells. Melissa, with her eyes red and puffy and her nose slightly runny, was holding on to my parents as if she couldn't live without them. I rolled my eyes. Their jobs kept them from being home for longer than two weeks at a time anyway. It's not like it'd be much of difference if we moved.

It was awkward just standing there while everyone embraced. I felt out of place. I hated hugging. Even Amber and Kaitlyn were joining in on the love-fest. I put my hands in the pocket of my over-sized hoodie and tried not to look at it anymore.

My dad walked over to me and gave me a bear hug, ignoring the glare that I gave to him when I realized that he wanted to hug me. As soon as he hugged me, I tried not to cry. I knew that I could say goodbye to Lock, Shock, and Barrel with no problem. I didn't like taking them for walks anyway. I could easily say goodbye to my mother. I hated how she compared me to Kaitlyn and tried to make me into a "fashionista".

But my dad and I, we were two peas in a pod. He used to be in a band when he was a teenager too. We had the same sense of humor. He allowed me to be myself without judging me. He didn't mind the heavy eyeliner, the dark clothes that seemed to attract my attention, and he didn't mind the various tattoos or piercings that I had accumulated. My dad was the only person in this family that understood me.

"Sammy, be good. Remember, me and your mom are always on your team. We're rooting for you. Forks won't be so bad, so long as you come out of your shell." He released me and I realized that I had accidentally let a few tears escape. I held out my Dad's camera to him. He took it from me and smiled. "I hope you took some nice pictures." I nodded my head. I thought I did, unless you count the first one that I took where I almost went blind.

"Oh my gosh Sammyyyyyy!" my mom said running to me with her arms wide open. I stared in horror as I realized that she was crying and expecting a hug. Dammit. No escape. She was too close. She hugged me so tightly I thought my spine would break. I secretly wanted it to.

I could feel my face getting red from the lack of oxygen that I was getting. My dad saw the distress on my face, and instead of saving me, he took a picture of me and my mom. I glared at him and everyone else that was holding their sides from laughing too hard. I mentally cursed them all to Hades.

"Let go of Sammy, Mom. We need to get on the road. We wanted to get there before Tuesday," Amber finally said saving my life. I walked over to the van preparing to get in, when suddenly I heard Melissa scream, "Don't make me go! I don't want to go! It's Samantha's fault we're leaving anyway! Just send her away." Everyone's eyes were on me. Sympathetic eyes were all hoping that I wouldn't flip out at the accusation.

My mom stared at Melissa with an evil glare. "Young lady, that was highly uncalled for. Apologize to your sister this instant!" Melissa looked at me with hate-filled eyes. She crossed her arms and refused to say anything directly to me. My mom rolled her eyes and was about to say something to Melissa about her rudeness but I cut her off.

"It's okay, Mom. Don't worry about it. It makes sense that Melissa is pissed at me. I would be too." I shrugged my shoulders in nonchalance. "But she'll get over it eventually. And if she doesn't, that's her problem." I stepped into the van.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I ignored it. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and started listening to it. Conspiracy by Paramore was playing and I thought how coincidental. My feelings were just like the lyrics in the song. I wanted to escape the pain that my life seemed to attract for some reason.

Nate got into the driver's seat, Amber got into the passenger's side, Melissa sat in the seat behind me, still pouting, and Kaitlyn sat next to me. She patted me on the shoulder. I smiled weakly at her. I knew Kaitlyn didn't want to leave Albany either. I knew she blamed me, but I didn't care enough about that to do anything.

We drove away, and as we left, I waved goodbye to my parents. I looked back to see the huge mansion that I had lived in for seventeen years.

I laid my head on the window and finally allowed myself to think about the events that led me to where I am.

(Flashback)

My best friend Scar committed suicide. He came out to his parents and they disowned him. His family was really into politics and they said they couldn't afford to have a scandal because their son was a "faggot". I balled my fists unconsciously as I thought about the anger and sorrow in Scar's voice when he told me.

I was at Kaitlyn's ballet recital and Scar had called me right before her solo performance. I listened to him intently while he poured his heart out to me. I knew Scar was on the brink of depression. I promised him to meet him at the park by his house immediately after Kaitlyn was done. He sounded reluctant, but he agreed.

After Kaitlyn was done, I told my parents that I had to go home and study for a major test. Before my parents could protest, I was out of there.

I stopped by the gas station and bought Scar cigarettes with my fake I.D. I was glad that the park wasn't far from the auditorium because I was walking on foot. I jogged to the park and saw the back of Scar's head as I approached "our" bench.

I snuck up behind him to scare him. "Boo!" I screamed in his ear. He didn't even act like I was there. I walked around the bench to see that there was a giant gash on scar's wrist. He looked paler than he ever had. There was an empty bottle of pain killers under the bench. He had large purple bruise like markings under his eyes.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything but scream. I grabbed my phone and called 911. I was surprised that the dispatcher could understand me. I was hyperventilating and crying so much that I could barely understand me.

After she assured me that an ambulance was on its way, I rushed to Scar. I begged Scar to please be alive. I begged him to wake up. I begged him to wake me up from this terrible nightmare.

After the ambulance came, they put Scar in it. I got to ride in the back with him. The looks that the EMT people gave me was not reassuring. One of them asked me who I was to him and if he had family. I was too dead myself to answer. I was too busy trying to ignore how cold Scar looked or how stiffly he laid.

After we reached the hospital and Scar was rushed to the emergency room, I started calling people. I called Scar's brother to tell him everything that happened. I called my dad as well. I don't remember what I said or how I said it, but everyone came immediately.

Scar's family was sitting on one side of the room looking like statues. My mom was holding Melissa who was on the verge of tears. Kaitlyn was still in her leotard and was biting her nails nervously. My dad was trying to calm me down. I was pacing the emergency waiting room, trying to relax. It wasn't working. My family knew how important Scar was to me. Scar and I were best friends since Kindergarten. He was there for every birthday party, he was there for me through puberty, he witnessed the awkward brace face stage, and he still stuck around.

A doctor came out of the room. "Family of Oscar Adams?" he asked, looking at everyone in the room. "Yes?" Scar's dad asked, without any emotion. "I'm sorry to say, but Oscar Adams was pronounced dead on arrival. A cut to the wrist and various types of pain killers clogging up his stomach are the cause. We can talk to you about funeral arrangements and we have papers for you to sign…"

I ignored the doctor. I couldn't understand anything he was saying. It was as if he was speaking another language. I walked away from everyone and stepped outside of the hospital. All I can remember is my mom hugging me and the painful scream that filled my ears.

(End Flashback)

I looked around the van to see that everyone, except Nate, had fallen asleep. I looked out the window and let a few tears escape.

After Scar's death, I knew I started changing. I stopped talking. I became mute for a little while. I wore much more black than I used to. I cut school, got into fights, and almost got arrested. My mom saw me self-destructing and blamed herself. She said that it was become she was never home that I became a monster.

Amber offered to allow me to stay with her and her husband. My mom suggested that we all moved to Washington with Amber. She didn't want Melissa and Kaitlyn to suffer the same way that I had.

I wiped away the tears that kept running down my cheeks. This was going to be a long road trip and I didn't want to spend all of it crying over the past. Time to move on.