"Woah! I've never seen so many scrolls!" Po gasped at the sight of the tremendous pile of scrolls that was indeed nothing short of a mountain.
Crane chuckled. "You haven't been to a good library."
"What's in all this junk?" Mantis posed the question on everyone's mind.
"Well, I guess we'll have to find out." Po grabbed the scroll nearest to him and began reading. Soon he found himself in the 'zone'. He didn't hear anything or feel anything, the only movement was the movement of his chest and his eyes as he was transported to another world. It was a good story, an exceptionally good story. It was about a snow hare named Yin Bei, who's father was killed by her creepy brother who had an awesome technique and how she eventually joined a gang, and there was going to be an epic Kung Fu Tournament and then.
"Hey, where's the rest of this?" He asked nobody in particular, waving the scroll in the air.
Monkey summersaulted over to him. "Oh Silence of the Hare-it's still in production."
"So it's not finished yet?" Po asked, tweedling his thumbs.
"It just means you'll have to wait for the rest of it."
Po breathed a sigh of relief-he had to know more!
"Yeah, you should be glad-this one's finished but it's only half-written." Viper said with a frown. "It was pretty good. It was about Lord Shen turning out to be a good guy and then going on a quest with Po, a phoenix and a badger. It's a pity it'll never get finished."
Po picked another scroll. And read it. "Hey this one's awesome! It's about us guys, and we're in this tournament and then there's this spy! And in the end he blows up everything and then we all fight and then Crane beats some jerk cheetah!"
To his surprise Crane, Monkey, Mantis and Viper all breathed sighs of relief.
"I know it's so intense!"
"Yeah, that's great Po-though I would advise avoiding stories about us in the majority." Crane said, prizing Kung Fu Panda Tournament of Legends from the panda's paw.
"Why?"
"Well buddy, let's put it like this. Most of those end up with the four of us and Shifu entirely ommitted and it's about you and Tigress."
"Oh, right. They just didn't know about our teamwork."
"Yeah… And you two often end up…." Viper began cautiously.
"Smooching." Mantis said, and as they did the group all shuddered.
"That's just gross and Tigress-she get's annoyed at me for having action figures of her! She'd rip me to pieces if I even tried to do that. And why would I?"
"Well, the argument is that you hugged each other twice in one day." Crane said, chuckling. "But most times it's not exactly 'you and Tigress'."
"Yeah, loads of times you end up with a six-pack and pecks and she mysteriously grows yellow fur, boobs and horniness."
They all shuddered again.
"They're not all bad mind you." Viper reminded. "Some of them are really good and capture two warriors that love each other after years of hard work together and deep trust. You just have to embrace the possibility to enjoy things like that."
Po nodded at the new wisdom. Then he went for another scroll. It was another tournament story, only he knew none of the characters participating, save for Yin Bei who won in the end.
"Uh, guys? Can someone explain to me why there are so many people I've never heard of?"
Crane came to his rescue once more and studied the scroll the young panda was holding.
"Ah-the Original Character. Well this one isn't exactly one thing, there are a lot of types. Let me try and explain.
One type of Original Character is the Su. Generally they are god-level strength, zero emotion husks, who save the world after everyone else fails to. These guys are just no-nos okay Po? Sometimes they're even supposed to be related to us."
Tigress walked past and confirmed by saying. "You'd be surprised how many daughters I'm meant to have."
"That's horrible!"
Crane nodded. "That's only the Su. Then there is the Beta."
"The beta? Are they any better?"
"Po…never use that joke again. Please?" Viper continued. "Anyways the Beta is the mid-way guy. Generally they are really strong, but don't exactly overshadow us, Shifu or Oogway. What they do almost always get is some kind of broken magical power. Like say…" Viper snatched a scroll from the pile and held it open. In the center was a fox with a rice hat surrounded by a hummingbird, mouse, armadillo, mole, dragon, catfish, platypus, hedgehog and crane. "This guy. He teleports, shapeshifts and has some kind of bloodline technique, but he's morally ambiguous and his stories are well written, so he's a Beta.
"Right, Su, Beta and what else?"
"The Team." Mantis said.
"Team?"
"Yup. A group of strong, usually teenage Kung Fu artists stay at the Jade Palace for a while and learn new things and serve as foils to us."
"Is that cool…or not cool?"
Monkey then continued. "Finally you have the Character. Someone really fleshed out and normal to a certain degree, though sometimes they also get some kind of magic."
"Woah, guys that's a tonne of stuff, but who has time for all this?"
"You'd be surprised."
"You mean a lot of guys do this? Who has the ti-"
"Po some people love writing and do stuff like this for fun, they ironically tend to write the best, are friendly and read anything that piques their interest." Viper explained.
"Others love their Sus, Teams, Betas and whatnots and obsess over them." Mantis commented.
"Yeah, those guys are either good or bad. Some are really nice people who just want to be different. Others just write anything that has their character and will only read something about their own character."
"And then there's those bored guys who just write random stuff."
Suddenly there was a scream and they all turned to see Tigress tearing a scroll to shreds.
"Another TiPo?" Ctane asked, putting a comforting wing on her shoulder.
"No… They paired me up with Shifu."
"Eeeeew."
