Rated T: For mentions of sex, but largely for violence and character death (nothing horrifically graphic, but nonetheless it is there).

A/N – This story is largely Kataangst. . . So if that's not your thing, I'd turn back now. At some points, both Aang and Katara might be out of character to how they were portrayed in the show, but keep in mind the events that caused this scenario would have radically affected them, and so I'm trying to keep them as in-character as possible while having their personalities reflect what they've gone through. Also, I'm trying to edit it so it's not as much, but Katara cries a lot in this story. And it's not hopeful Tearbending, either. . .

Aang starts out roughly 19 years old, so the ages of other characters can be calculated from there. This story 'jumps' forward in time, but at an unmentioned rate, so unless ages are specified or it is otherwise noted, every time a 'jump' is made, the characters get older.

Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko; I own nothing.


Chapter 1: Love Lost


Katara woke from her dreamless slumber, unsure at first as to why she had awoken and felt so alert. Glancing towards the open window, she saw the almost-full moon high in the night sky. 'That's why,' she thought groggily, remembering how difficult it could be for Waterbenders to sleep around the full moon. Still in bed, she stretched her arms before turning to face the other side of the bed, hoping to wake up her partner for some late-night Waterbending practice. Reaching a hand towards where his forehead was hidden in the shadows, Katara closed her eyes as she felt – nothing. Her eyes flew open and the memories flooded back to her. Rising from her bed, she got dressed before walking outside of the small inn she was staying at in the Fire Nation's capital city. Once she was on the outskirts of the city, she ran, as fast as she could, up the slope of the caldera and out to the jagged cliffs overlooking the ocean below.

She began to Waterbend. And not just a little bit, either. Soon, streams of water were erupting from the ocean, far below, at her command. She continued to bend the water around her with a fearsome grace until she felt herself becoming physically exhausted. With a final flick of her wrist, gallons of water dropped from the precipice she stood upon and fell back to the ocean below. Her element left her alone, just as she had been for the past month. And it was all her fault.

She screamed towards the heavens – and as she was far away from the capital city at this point, no one heard her – crying out her hatred of the spirits for destroying her mind, as her heart and soul belonged to Aang while she gave her body to Zuko. Why did she deserve the torture she had brought upon herself? She loved Aang and only saw Zuko as a friend, so why was this lust destroying her? Where did her lust for the Fire Lord even come from? After her first night with Zuko, which she immediately regretted, cursing him and claiming it to have been a drunken heat-of-the-moment mistake (which they both agreed it was) she had returned to Aang.

But whenever she was with Aang, she wanted to be in Zuko's bed, letting the Fire Lord have his way with her. When she finally got to that moment though, despite what physical pleasure she experienced, she never enjoyed it for her mind wandered to her feelings of guilt and betrayal and how she still loved Aang. She wished it was Aang pleasuring her instead of Zuko, but she had learned that Aang was waiting until he was married to have sex, as the monks believed it to be a sacred act between two people, bound either through marriage or as life partners – while Katara had her first time in a mixture drunken lust and raging hormones. She sobbed, wishing desperately to take back what had been her worst mistake.

It had happened three months ago, and then, one month ago, after she lied to Aang about it, he left her. He had told her that he had known about the affair from the beginning – he wasn't the oblivious child she had rescued from the iceberg all those years ago. After the first time she slept with Zuko, Aang had known, but he assumed it was – as it had been – a mistake, and being the person he was, despite his inner disappointment and anger, he mentally forgave them both – even though they thought he didn't know. As the weeks passed, however, he fought to keep his sanity as she left to visit the Fire Lord more frequently, and when he confronted Katara about it, she had lied.

"Aang, it was a mistake. It was one time. I regret it more than anything in the world, truly I do, but it was a result of too much sake and stupid hormones. Nothing has happened since that night." She immediately regretted lying – the built-up feelings of betrayal and rage burst forth from her normally tranquil boyfriend.

"KATARA! I know it wasn't just one night! Do you think I can't see how the two of you act around each other?! I thought we could work though this – I had forgiven you for cheating on me the first time, but continuing to cheat on me and then lying about it? How can I possibly trust you now?" He turned his head away from her, his eyes shut tight, "I need to clear my head. And don't come looking for me! You won't find me! Go back to your lover's arms and enjoy your life Katara! As of this moment, we're officially through!" Tears were stinging both of their eyes as the full-impact of her actions hit Katara with renewed force.

Between her sobs, she choked out, "Aang, I'm so, s-so sorry! I never wanted this! I still l-love you more than anything and I feel nothing for Zuko! I couldn't control myself – I don't know why! I love you! Please, p-please don't leave me! I'll spend my life making this up to you! Please, Aang! I love you!"

She saw his hesitation as he stood in the doorway, staff in hand and a pack slung over his back. Had this been any other situation earlier in their relationship – even their friendship – Aang would have been on his knees at Katara's side. But this was different. She had taken his heart, cut it out, frozen it, and thrown it on the ground – the shattered pieces scattering in a million different directions. He was broken – and it was all her fault, and she knew it. "I'm sorry, Katara. I know we can't work past this." He turned to leave, but paused. "And the worst thing is – I still love you, too." And with that, he was gone.

"We're sorry for putting you through this Katara, but you must understand the full impact of your actions – such is the punishment of one playing with the Avatar's love." The voice startled her and she whipped around to face her unwelcome, and surprisingly knowledgeable, visitor.

"I know I screwed up!" She screamed through tear-filled eyes which blurred her vision from identifying her new companion. "But I never wanted to play with Aang's love – despite our faults and our occasional fights, our relationship was pure and wonderful and loving and I hate knowing I killed it! I would give anything to change the past!" Suddenly the rest of the visitor's words hit her. "What do you mean you're 'sorry for putting me through this'? What are you talking about?!" Brushing away the tears from her eyes, she gasped as she gazed upon the form of an elderly Firebender, one whom she had seen many times before. "Avatar Roku?"

The spirit smiled a small, sad smile as he replied. "Yes, I am Avatar Roku, Katara. And what I meant was, we're sorry that we're showing you such pain and sorrow – but we believed it to be the only way to get through to you. As for changing the past, it's hard to change something that hasn't happened yet." As the words left his mouth, Katara saw her environment change, and suddenly, she was in the Palace library, sitting at a table with a bottle of sake between her and Roku.

"This is where it all began – or should I say, might begin, is it not?" At Katara's cautious nodding, he continued. "The 'memories' you have of your time with my great-grandson are merely visions of one possible future. The actions in these visions would result in upsetting the balance of the world yet again, albeit indirectly. At any other time in your relationship, such infidelity," Roku paused as Katara sniffed and a fresh tear streamed down her face at his words, "or the dissolution of your romantic relationship with Aang would not have such profound effects." Roku sighed, "Unfortunately, this is the worst possible time, and honestly, the worst possible outcome that you could have ever created."

Katara glanced up at Aang's most recent past-life with a questioning look on her face. "What do you mean?"

A new, more feminine voice, full of authority, startled Katara, but the young Waterbender recognized it as belonging to Avatar Kyoshi, who was now sitting to her left. "Had you or Aang dissolved your relationship, either by a loss of romantic feelings individually or mutually, you both would have moved on. Had you cheated on Aang and told him the truth, he would have moved on. In most such possible scenarios, you would both move on and although awkward at first, your friendship would survive. He would have moved on at any other time had you ended your romantic relationship with him – except for this time. Aang has been under a lot of stress lately, as I'm sure you knew. The fledgling United Republic is struggling to survive and Aang had been busy quelling uprisings throughout the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation. To suddenly have his girlfriend – his best friend, his pillar of stability, sanity, and love – cheat on him and then proceed to lie to him about it has sent Aang over the edge." Kyoshi spit out her last sentence with such force that you could feel the venom dripping from her words.

"I believe you mean 'would send,' Kyoshi, as none of that has happened yet – and it might never happen." The new masculine voice turned Katara's attention to her right, where a man of Water Tribe descent sat. "I'm Avatar Kuruk, the Avatar before Kyoshi."

"And I am Avatar Yangchen, young Waterbender." Katara, at this point had gotten used to Aang's past lives randomly positioning themselves around the table, and thus wasn't as startled when a middle-aged Air Nomad woman was now sitting across from her, beside Roku. "We believe you are already acquainted with, to some extent, the spirits Hei Bai, Yue, and The Painted Lady." At Yangchen's gesturing, Hei Bai, in his peaceful form, appeared behind herself and Roku, while Yue took a seat closer to Katara alongside Kyoshi and The Painted Lady sat between Kuruk and Katara.

"Alright, I'm really, really confused, and honestly, a little frightened, right now. Can someone please tell me what's going on?!" Katara exclaimed to the gathered spirits around her.

Turning to her old friend, Yue placed a comforting hand on Katara's forearm. "Katara, everything you 'remember' from the last few months hasn't happened. You haven't slept with Zuko and you haven't formed a rift between yourself and Aang – yet."

Katara, at hearing Yue's words was both comforted and more distraught, if it were possible. "Yue, please, what do you mean 'yet?' I'm so, so happy to know that I haven't lost Aang and made the biggest mistake of my life, but why are you making it sound like this is inevitable? I love Aang more than any of you can understand and now that I know what's going to happen, I'm going to make sure that I go to bed early tonight and leave Zuko to drown his worries in sake on his own, that way none of these 'memories' ever happen!" Her own words strengthening her resolve, she then proceeded to ask another question. "So why are you telling me all this? I promise you I won't hurt Aang and disrupt the balance of the world!"

At this, The Painted Lady turned towards her former impersonator. "Master Katara, while we do not doubt your sincerity in this matter, it has been decided by majority vote of this group to best ensure that you avoid temptation tonight, you must be shown the full consequences of your actions – at least, for the rest of your time on this physical plane."

"Wait, you mean by becoming obsessed with having sex with a man I hold no romantic feelings towards, as a result of getting drunk one night, thus destroying my relationship with Aang, and hating myself every day since that night … erm, tonight, isn't painful enough!?" Katara was, at this point, quite frustrated with her situation. While she had gotten everything she had been hoping for since she and Zuko had first slept together – which was to go back in time so that it never happened – she couldn't help but feel the spirits charging her with 'disrupting the balance of the world' were blowing the situation out of proportion.

At this, Hei Bai 'spoke' to the Waterbender, adding yet another shocking experience to Katara's evening. «We are going to show you two possible outcomes to this night. The first will continue your current 'memories' and show you how the world will fall apart again. Whereas the Hundred Year War was caused by deliberate betrayal on the part of Fire Lord Sozin towards Avatar Roku, the Hundred Day War could be caused by your unintended betrayal of Avatar Aang's love. After you understand how the world collapses from your potential infidelity, we will provide you with glimpses of the second potential timeline – the one in which you would remain faithful to Aang.»

Katara held her head in her hands, struggling to stay collected in the face of the Forest Spirit's news. "What do you mean Hundred Day War? I know my actions have been – would be – catastrophic to my relationship with Aang and the rest of my friends and family, but it couldn't possibly be horrible enough to start a war!"

"Let us show you, Katara, rather than merely try and tell you."


A/N - So, there's the first chapter. I liked the original idea I had for this story, but I'm not really liking the story itself. I hate that I love Kataangst as much as I do (nowhere near as much as I love fluff, but still) and I feel like I can't write it very well. And implied Zutara sex (*shudders*) and that Zuko and Katara, especially Katara, despite continuing the affair, do feel regret for their actions. I hated having to write an implied Zutara affair, especially after writing that parody story about secret Zutara love affairs…

The next three chapters should be up pretty quickly, and I have a partial fifth chapter I'm still working on, but beyond that, I'm kind of stuck with this story.