Violets Are Blue, And…
Written for Jerza week; prompt 'Roses.' This is my first attempt at writing from first person so I hope its ok.
I miss him terribly. We'd just been fixing our broken relationship when tears in the cards came and kept coming. One minute he was here, the next off with Meredy and it drives me insane. I won't be selfish though, that's not what makes a wizard from the Fairy Tail Guild… All of these thoughts flashed in my head as I sat in a train seat, a strawberry cheesecake in my lap.
It's going to be my birthday soon and what I want more than anything is to see him again, even if only for a little while. It feels like I'm forgetting what he really looks like, his image replaced only by what I see in my dreams; I hate that I'm losing him. Whenever I think of him now, which is a lot, all I can see is messy blue hair and a red tattoo on his face, I can no longer picture the exact colour of his eyes and I never remember just what his voice sounds like. I start to feel something like a crack in my chest and feel pathetic that I'm so used to my heart breaking at this point.
I'm Erza Scarlet, a proud S Class wizard of Fairy Tail; I shield my heart in armour still in a futile hope to repel all these painful emotions. I hate feeling so weak, so useless. I hate feeling so utterly pathetic, and that's why I'll never show this weakness, even if I know it's not strength.
*/*\*
"Hey Erza!" Mirajane called out to me sweetly and I plastered on a small smile as she came over to me, tray full of drinks balanced on a delicate hand and showing off a small slice of cake she'd probably kept aside for me. After her demonic persona when she was a teenager, I still have trouble sometimes thinking of how close we are as friends now, and while I hoped that Natsu and Gray could follow in our footsteps, I didn't want them to have to endure someone close to them dying (or being presumed dead).
At the thought of 'someone close to them,' what little things I could remember of Jellal whisked through my head again and became thankful for the years of practice I had keeping my real feelings from flashing across my face.
"Welcome back. Did you have a good journey?" Heaven's knew how thankful I was to Mirajane's new personality, even if she didn't know it; she could always bring me out of troubling or painful thoughts. The small smile I still had grew just a little bit wider and I saw understanding flash through her eyes and a devious smile play on the corner of her lips.
"Yes, the job was simple enough, pay was good and it was an uneventful trip back home." A slight shrug of my shoulders was enough to keep Mira happy for a bit, but she seemed suspicious of something still. That worried me a bit; Matchmaking Mirajane seemed to be making an appearance now.
"Well here, have this. I kept it from the others since I knew you'd be back today. It's your favourite." The slice of cake was handed to me and I realized it was indeed my favourite. 'Thank you Mirajane.' I wold have said that out loud but I was a little bit busy savouring the flavour of strawberry at that moment, the look that must have been on my face seemed to be enough to tell her for me though and she walked away; getting back to work.
Settling down at a table, I watched Natsu and Gray start yelling at each other. I didn't expect them to get along like Mira and I did anytime soon, but I can hope and scare them into submission. It started getting more intense on Gray's part, which was unusual as usually it was Natsu, but I was getting ready to intervene when Gray's shouts got loud enough over the sound of everybody else talking.
"Natsu, give it back!" My eyebrow rose almost automatically, wondering what Natsu could have taken from the ice wizard. But then as they started getting physical, I saw that against Gray's shirtless body there was no small flash of silver. I dropped the fork in shock, remembering what Gray had once talked to me about.
"This necklace is really important to me Scarlet," He was clutching it tight and I chuckled lightly. We were sitting by the river after he'd caught me crying and had gotten into a conversation about memories, he didn't seem to have many good ones and I felt sorry for him. While we talked, his hand instantly went up to his collar to clutch the pendant; gripping it so tightly that the skin of his palms pricked and a small drop of blood slid down his wrist.
"I understand that it's important to you Gray, but a necklace still seems pretty girly." His face went bright red and I laughed again, I knew I was being bratty but at such a young age I didn't care about that too much.
"I don't care about that," His cheeks were still a light pink; cute. "This is very special. It just isn't some girly necklace to me – and it's not girly in the first place! – but the key to a very precious memory…"
I wasn't paying attention anymore, and I never found out what it was the 'key' for. By then I was too wrapped up into my own precious memory.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I turned my head away with a faint blush as the young boy named Jellal ran his fingers through my hair.
"Sorry, but it's such a pretty colour…"He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with a big grin on his face. After that, he lost himself in some sort of thought then before perking up. "I know! Let's make your last name Scarlet."
The other children in the cell with me started saying things but I paid them no attention; I was too entranced by this cute boy with the handsome smile on his face.
I twirled a lock of red strands around my finger before muttering something about my newly given name. I heard him laugh sweetly as he started talking again, "Yeah that's perfect! Now I'm never gonna forget your name, all I have to do is think about your pretty hair."
The memory faded out and I was brought back to reality with Gray standing next to me with a grin on his face. If his hair were a different shade of blue and if he had that strange mark on him, then he would look just like…
A table flying into the back of my head brought me to my true reality. Nearly everyone in the guild was brawling now, though none of it was nearly as intense as the battle going on between Natsu and Gray. Everyone else was swiftly ignored as I hurried over to them both, with one goal set in mind.
*/*\*
I sat down in the field, letting out a sigh as I finished sparring with Mirajane. After marching towards the fire and ice rivals I had pushed Natsu down to the ground, glaring fiercely. I didn't give him a chance to yell about why I wasn't punishing Gray before I barked his name and ordered him to give Gray his necklace back. The Dragon Slayer seemed confused but did as he was told, and I had spared a moment to see the gratitude and understanding in Gray's eyes. I, after all, knew everything about having only a few precious memories.
I'd stormed out of the guild when the fighting ceased, and only really heard Mira's heels knocking against the pavement from running when she clasped her hand tightly onto my shoulder and offered to help me let off some steam through sparring – in the end I didn't really get a choice seeing as she dragged me into a meadow and went Satan Soul. I really was grateful that she did that, her being an angel and demon at the same time was just what I needed.
Angel and demon…
Today wasn't a good day for me; he kept coming into my head and breaking my heart each moment I breathed. Mira, sitting opposite me, caught sight of my new uncomfortable disposition and instantly went into mother hen mode before teasing the hell out of me for something.
It felt good to laugh.
*/*\*
A few days later when it was my birthday, I got back to Fairy Hills sometime just before midnight, completely ready to quickly requip into my pyjamas and flop down onto the bed, the exhilaration of it being my birthday wearing off so I could calm myself enough to sleep.
What I didn't expect to be there, other than three rooms full of armour, was Jellal standing awkwardly by my window, leaning back against the wall, tapping a beautiful bouquet of roses back and forth in his hands. My shock seemed eternal, even as I took in the sight of him, glad to refresh my memory of this man. My heart thumped wildly against my chest at seeing the vivid colour of his eyes, and the exact pattern of the mark on his face, I began memorizing every trace of muscle and embedding the colour of his flawless unblemished skin into my mind.
Words would never be able to express how relieved I was to be able to picture him in my head clearly again.
My shock faded slightly and before I was completely aware of what I was doing, his name fell from my lips, completing the ensemble of everything I knew about this person I held so close to my heart.
"Jellal…" It was nothing more than a whisper, but in the silence of the room you would have heard a pin drop. He stiffened slightly before nodding tensely, as if he knew that this was wrong and wished he hadn't come but also felt a small hint of relief at the acknowledgement of not being thrown from the dormitories.
"Erza."
We were quiet again, it was awkward and the only thing to be heard was the faint puffs of our breath before a bell chimed for midnight hour. The clanging seemed to shake Jellal out of his stupor and he cleared his throat.
"Well, I suppose this is actually a little late now, but here." He outstretched his arm holding the roses and pushed off from the wall, stepping towards me slowly.
"I saw them and thought of you. I suppose it's rather obvious why." 'It really is.' That was all I could think as he ran his hand down the side of my cheek, gently running my hair through his fingers.
I breathed out in content, wishing for this moment to never end.
Of course it did, he raised the bouquet again for me to see the vibrant crimson of the flower petals and he looked a little to the side with a pink flair to his cheeks.
"I can't stay much longer; I'll have to go back soon." I only nodded, spending all my remaining energy into not succumbing to feeling of a pricking behind my eyes. I lifted my hand to take the bunch of flowers, taking the opportunity to lightly run my fingers up his arm, feeling him beneath my touch. I saw him shiver lightly and a tiny pleased smile started playing on my features.
I loved this.
The flowers were in my grasp, and he took one step back, the very last drops of strength left used on not rushing forward to him. He bent down slightly, and turned his head to the side.
I'd never be more grateful for my small amount of self-control in not moving when he angled his head again to kiss me on the cheek, a small puff of air coating the pleasant tingling sensation on my skin before my face turned a shade that surely would rival my hair and flowers. He chuckled and gave me that big smile he had always given me when we were children.
I melted.
He bowed for me in a gentlemanly manner before turning and jumping out the window into the night, leaving me in another shocked state; this one far nicer than the last.
After closing the window and settling into bed, I still hadn't let go of the roses. Before trying to find the resolve to, I leaned down to smell them and saw a note tied to the stem of one. Curious I slid it off and unfolded it to read the message.
'Happy birthday.
I know I haven't been able to do much for you or be there for you much, and for that I will be eternally sorry, but this much I could do.'
Some of the words on the paper changed before I got to take a proper look at them, which disappointed me before they all rearranged themselves into a new message.
'Violets are blue, these roses are red.
I say this to you while you lay calm in bed.
Even when I lost my memory Erza, you were what I still had. I will never be happier, that it seems you will always be my everything. I told you I'd never forget your name, didn't I?
Thank you purely for existing, and I hope you are given these today as a token of my gratitude. No day is worth celebrating more than this.
I love you Erza.
-Jellal.'
I clutched the roses and the note to my chest as I fell back onto my pillow, the smile playing previously on my lips returning full force as a wide grin. I pulled the blankets over me, enveloped in their warmth as I couldn't fight back the pricking anymore.
This time when I cried for him, I wasn't sad.
Seeing as today has given me the choice of two prompts, I'll be doing that one later. This didn't really have anything to do with roses but I hope it's alright.
