So hey there, readers and (hopefully!) fans, and welcome to Unwritten.
Most of you here probably know me because of Nascent Requiem, my post-XIII fic, and if you don't, then hey! *waves* So this is the new fic idea I've been working on for awhile; I cooked it up after I finished my Hoperai oneshot Concrete Angel, and I found that I really, really, liked the ideas and themes present. So I decided to take it one step further, and expand it into this SerahxSnow centric fic. It definitely won't be as long as NR was, but it won't be, well, short. n_n
A few words before we begin: this fic is rated M for a reason, as it does explore many, many aspects of today's society that are kept in the dark, namely: abuse, language, gangsterism, violence... all of those things we're told not to do, or participate in, in high school. Yes, I am well aware of that, but, it's also a very real part of society that doesn't see much light; many adults view it with a very black-and-white approach, and well, there's much more to it than just the traditional view. One course in Social Justice taught me that. So, read at your own discretion, because there are very dark themes explored ahead; if nothing else to call upon these issues present, but held silent, in our world.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the wonderfulness that is Final Fantasy XIII, and it is cheerfully returned to Square Enix at least partly intact. And, as an added disclaimer, in no way do I condone any of the things I explore ahead in this fic - I am merely trying to bring it to attention that our world is not as black and white as it seems.
Chapter 1: Broken Wings
"I always thought my sister loved me. She said as much. So why did she leave me here? Why did she abandon me?
That was the one motive of hers I never understood... the one thing I'll never understand. Claire, why?" ―Serah Farron
Holding the blankets over her small, pink head, Serah tried to hide under the covers as faint morning sunlight poked through the blinds in her curtains. Soon, it would be morning, and soon, she'd have to drag herself out of bed again. She didn't want to. I just want to hide. But she knew what would happen if she did, memories of painful nights and harsh blows too clear in her memories for comfort. Clutching the cotton of the comforter closer to her slender arms, carefully avoiding the slightly swollen bruised patch on her left arm, she tried not to let her thoughts drift back to her sister, as they inevitably would do whenever she thought about her life, and the twists and turns it had taken... all for the worst.
They'd been born with a 'silver spoon', so to say, into one of the richer families that occupied Bodhum. She'd had a happy childhood, growing up with her older sister, until... that day. That one day she'd never forget: the day of the car crash. One moment, she had been a happy nine year old, comforted in the embraces of her twelve year old sister and loving parents, and the next... all gone. Her sister had lived, but the old, happy Claire was gone. As determined as her sister had been to take care of her, it was inevitable that they were thrust into the household of the only family that would take them in: an unmarried uncle. At first, Serah had thought it was only right, only common courtesy, for their uncle to take care of them. That was before they found out he blamed them for their mother's death, his only sister.
Painful memories trawled through her dreams even now, of the first night he'd grabbed her sister and thrown her against the wall. She could still remember the blood, the way Claire had tried to fight back. But what was the strength of a twelve year old against a grown man? Suppressing a whimper, Serah held the edge of the coverlet to her mouth as the now familiar words raced through her mind. 'If you ever tell anyone, if any of you ever dare run away, you'll get what's coming to you.'
And that... was exactly what sixteen year old Claire had done, five years ago. Serah didn't want to remember the desperation, the hurt, when she realized her sister was never coming home. That night in the rain and thunder, both their slender forms drenched in rainwater, plastering their clothes to their skin, her sister had gripped her arm with her steel grip, closing slim fingers around her upper arm, just underneath a bruise. Try as she might, Serah still remembered the desperate hiss of the last words her sister had said to her, before turning and running into the gloom and shadows, the rainfall quickly swallowing the last of her thin frame and the petal pink hair.
"Serah. I-I love you. But this... this is something I have to do. Okay?"
She'd never come back. No matter how long Serah had waited, her sister had never returned, never came to find her, never sent her anything to even show that she was alive. At first, she'd been devastated. The pain of the night that had followed after their uncle had found out Claire had run away was immaterial to the inner pain that she'd felt. Unable to concentrate at school, unable to control the emotions that rose up like a storm that ripped apart all it came into contact with, Serah had let herself start failing in school. All she could think about was... Why?
Why had Claire left her here? What was it... she 'had to do' that I couldn't go along with? Why couldn't she take me with her? Even now, even after five years, those questions had haunted her, were present in every dream. She didn't know where Claire was, didn't even know if her sister was alive anymore. But still, the questions came, almost like chains she could never shake off. Was the reason she'd run away because she could no longer stand what their life was? So... was it easier for her to just leave?
But Claire had known what their uncle had said. She'd known exactly the consequences if one of them ever attempted to do it. She'd have known what would happen. Unable to think about that, Serah had come to the desolate conclusion that her sister didn't love her as much as she'd claimed. Why else... would she leave me here? It was so, so painful to think of it that way, to see her sister as selfish and cold, as someone who didn't care. But what other explanation could there be? Serah couldn't think of one.
The low rumble of an engine starting jolted her out of her thoughts as she looked up to see the pale golden sunlight peeking through the spaces in the blinds. Giving an internal sigh, Serah slowly pawed the rest of the covers off her slender body, reaching for the hairtie she'd left on the bedside table, pulling it around her wrist with a small snap. Looking up, she saw the unfamiliar school uniform draped over the back of the worn wooden chair, the sight unconsciously bringing on another rush of memories.
That had been the other thing that had to change... too often. Their uncle had made them change school every time one of the teachers had gotten suspicious, or things started to look a little dire for them. He'd shifted them to different schools before anyone could send the police after them. Not that he would have needed to worry - their uncle had enough money to buy off the corrupted police because he worked for the government. Serah remembered, clearly, the wad of bills he'd pressed into the hands of the doctor when... When it was so bad we had to take Claire to the hospital. And so, as he bought his way out of the charges that would have been laid on him, the chances of someone's discovery of their plight grew smaller and smaller. She had no idea what he told the school when Claire had finally snapped, finally run away, but it had to have been something good...convincing, at least. No 'missing' posters had ever shown up in where they were living at the time -Palumpolum- and their uncle had made no effort to find her.
Slowly pulling on the unfamiliar white shirt that Serah carefully rolled the sleeves up to just past her elbows, to avoid showing the bruises on her upper arms, she pulled her pink hair into a messy side ponytail, letting the straggling ends brush her collarbone as they dangled past her shoulder. Pulling on the grey blazer after it, Serah stopped to stare at her reflection in the mirror.
A pale, slender pinkette gazed back at her with sapphire eyes. In one sense of the word, she might have been called 'cute' or 'pretty'. In so many others, betrayed by the persistent faint shadows under her eyes and the bruises she struggled to hide, the words 'broken' and 'pitiful' might have been more applicable. Splashing cold water over her face, Serah tried hard to erase the traces of her sleepless night from her face. The uniform looked odd on her, and she suppressed another wave of anxiety at the thought.
Her uncle had moved them to Eden, the capital, just last week after, well, after a summer vacation in which Serah had spent hidden indoors. This time, it hadn't been because of her. Her uncle had been promoted into a fancier government job for the Sanctum, and it required that they lived in Eden. Serah hadn't seen much of the city yet, but the one drive past the busy streets told her it would not be like her quiet hometown of Bodhum. No, Eden was the typical capital city, filled with the most extravagant stores and all the high end hotels and businesses.
She'd also seen the uglier side of Eden when their taxi driver, an impatient middle aged man, took a side turn to avoid a traffic jam at Eden's heart. Serah had quite literally shrunk away from her window when she saw the cigarette butts lying in the alleyways, the darker, poorer side of the city. The homeless, clothed in rags, people whom she could only define as 'gangsters' lining the streets, smoking cigarettes and quite possibly putting other toxic chemicals into their bodies, and several men chasing after a dark haired woman. She shuddered at the memory, making a mental note never to go there.
Pulling the wool socks up until they reached the bottom of her knees, Serah wished they were longer. If only they would cover more of her legs under the black skirt of the uniform... It wasn't that she was bashful, well, maybe she was, but Serah was more concerned about the bruises on her thighs than people staring at her.
"I'll be okay," she whispered to herself, pressing her fingers to the glass of the mirror. I'll have to be.
Quietly locking the front door behind her, Serah slipped the house key into her bag before turning to face the golden sun of Phoenix that was rising just above the rooftops of the houses across the street, spilling its light onto the grass. Inhaling, closing her eyes, Serah set off in the direction that would take her to the high school. She'd made a point of finding it on a map earlier that weekend, but she could only hope to the Maker that she would actually find it: she'd never been the best at directions. That was something Claire was good at.
The thought had crossed her mind before she could even control it. Shoving it away, Serah tried not to think about her sister. I can't... I have to stop thinking about her. It had been hard - at every new town they reached in Cocoon, she'd wondered if they would find her there. But after five years, Serah had given up the hope of seeing her sister again. She didn't know what she would say or how she would react, at any rate, even if she did find her. Screech out her anger, or hug her? Serah found it frightening that she didn't know the answer to that question.
The quiet neighbourhood streets began to get noisy as she neared the school. Standing for a moment just beyond the chain link fence, Serah watched as teenagers gathered in clumps alongside the outer brick walls, some clearly waiting for friends, others flipping through notebooks and textbooks. There were more than a couple of curious glances in her direction, but Serah kept her head down, not wanting to attract more attention than she needed to get. School, after Claire had left, had never been a place other than to keep her head down and hope no one noticed her. It wasn't that she didn't want the companionship of others... it was that she was afraid. What if... what if they all turn out to be like how Claire... She had to stop thinking about that. Her heart told her it wasn't fair to judge her sister like that even though her mind wanted to. And I can't judge... I can't judge other people like that either. But I just don't want... I just don't want to be abandoned ever again.
Her footsteps in the hallways were a little too loud for her liking as Serah made her way to the main office, her heart pounding nervously in her throat. A much bigger student bumped into her - she stumbled, quickly regaining her balance as she locked gazes with the eyes of the much taller boy. He gave a leer in her direction, his eyes travelling down her small frame, before she quickly dodged into the office, unable to keep the small flare of embarrassment off of her cheeks. She could still hear his laughter even after she closed the door behind her.
"How many I help you?" The secretary was looking at her with a scrutinizing look on her face. Digging in her bag, Serah pulled out the completed registration forms, smoothing them out to give to the secretary.
"I-I'm new here," she stammered, clenching her small hands into loose fists at her sides as the secretary bent over to examine her papers. There were several heartbeats that quickly dragged into long minutes, of silence, filled only by the rapid clicking of keys being typed.
"Ms... Farron, is it? Well, welcome to North Eden." The lady turned, going over to the printer to collect several pieces of paper she'd printed off, finally handing one to her. Serah took it with trembling fingers. "There's your schedule, hon, and I hope you make lots of new friends!"
Closing the door to the office behind her, Serah managed a small smile when she thought of the secretary's words. Making new friends? That was something that might have been realistic... in elementary school. Still, she couldn't help but hope that the lady's words would be true in some way.
I just want... someone to understand, and not be afraid. I want someone I can lean on, fall down on when I'm hurt, trust with everything I know to be the truth. I just want to know that it's possible to be loved.
She managed to make it through the rest of the day without too much trouble, keeping her head down, accepting the books and work without comment, quietly murmuring her thanks as needed. Keeping her sapphire gaze to the floor, Serah felt the hot autumn afternoon sun hit her in the face when she stepped out the front doors of the school, as she clutched two textbooks to her chest, bag slung across both shoulders in her attempt to get home quickly.
It didn't go as smoothly as she planned. Finding herself cornered just as she stepped off the last few steps of the small staircase that led up to the front entrance, Serah found herself backing into a wall as an older student looked down at her.
"Hey, you're cute. You must be new here," he sneered in her direction. "Wanna go out with me?"
What? "No!" she cried, her voice a little too shaky to sound firm about her decision. Serah tried to break away past the boy, but he blocked her way out.
"Hey, hey, don't be like that." He shoved his face to hers. "I promise I'll treat you nicely."
Serah didn't have a chance to reply before someone else's fist collided with the older student's face, knocking him sideways away from her. Back pressed against the wall, she held her books tighter to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut as angry shouts and snarls sounded around her. It was a long time before the threats stopped and silence pressed around her again.
"Hey, you alright?" This voice was just as gruff, but it held none of the lecherous tones that were in the previous one. Slowly, Serah allowed herself to look up into intense ocean blue eyes and a mess of blond hair. The student in front of her was wearing the typical school uniform, but the top buttons of his shirt were carelessly left open, and he'd added a bandanna that wrapped around his head. Extending a large hand to her, she saw that he'd also taken the liberty to add black gloves to his outfit as she hesitantly took it, allowing him to pull her from the wall.
Shamefully, she noticed that his grip was warm and firm... comforting, in a way. "He won't bother you again," he assured her. "You hurt?"
Unable to speak for the moment, Serah shook her head.
"Good. Glad to see the idiot didn't do anything stupid."
He'd been about to turn and go when she finally managed to choke something out. "Thank you," she stammered, looking shyly at him. The bigger boy laughed, clapping his hand to the back of his neck.
"Don't sweat it. Didn't think you wanted that." There was an awkward pause in which Serah examined her shoes. "So, you're new here?" Looking up at him again, she nodded.
"Nice to meet ya. Snow Villiers," he announced proudly, thumping himself on the chest. She couldn't help but smile at his exuberant enthusiasm, the expression so confident, so trusting, in life. The grin on his face split wider when he noticed her shy, watery smile.
"I'm Serah," she murmured quietly, almost like she was afraid of exposing herself to him. "Serah Farron."
"Cool. Well, Serah, see ya around?" He gave her a confident thumbs up before walking away, tossing one last comment over his shoulder. "If anyone else gives you trouble, just give me a holler."
Watching him walk away, his tall, hulking stature easily standing out amongst the crowd, it was awhile before she got going, feet hurrying in the direction of home. It was only when she arrived at her doorstep when she realized what Snow had put inside her: a quiet sort of confidence, an underlying sense of trust. It was impossible to judge so early, she chided herself, but she couldn't help but feel appreciated that he had taken the time to deal with the student who had cornered her. She couldn't help but feel that someone cared. He didn't even know me.
Digging in her bag for her key, Serah looked up at the endless blue sky, dotted with white clouds, feeling something pluck at her heartstrings when she thought of him and that gesture, extended to a nameless girl, partly shielded by the stairs that led from the school, her plaintive cry silent and unheard in the realm of the sea of lives that went on around them.
Thank you.
I wasn't originally going to post this fic today, but I decided that in honour of Requiem of the Goddess, I wanted to do something. If you haven't yet played Lightning's DLC episode... ohmygosh... I cried. I was at a friend's house this morning, but I brought XIII-2 along with me... and I just sat there on her couch, and cried after we finished it. I mean, I didn't expect any less... but watching Lightning after Serah's death made me go through what happened in NR all over again. All. Over. Again. *sighs*
So, in honour of the final XIII-2 DLC, I decided to post Unwritten today. I'm still feeling rocky about how it ended, but... I can't wallow in that forever. I can only look forward to Final Fantasy XIII-3, if and when it is ever going to be released.
Anyways, on a slightly happier note, I really hope I set the tone and mood of this new fic of mine right, and I hope that you guys enjoy my writing (as always!) Leave love in reviews if you're so inclined (I love constructive criticism/suggestions), and I'll see you guys next chapter! I know I updated NR frequently (it wasn't unusual for you guys to receive daily updates) but with Unwritten I want to take more time with my chapters, especially in the beginning where I want to set the tone how I want it. Chapter 2 should be completed and up by Saturday/Sunday, and well, we'll go from there.
Hearts!
