Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.
~~~~Prolouge~~~~
"You have got to be kidding me. I refuse. I completely, utterly, with every fiber of my being, refuse, and no one can make me accept this!"
Objectively speaking, the world of Harry Potter is not exactly a bad world to get reborn into. I mean, it is pretty similar to our own world, so you should know what to expect, and it would be relatively easy to just hop across the pond if things got bad. Not only is the world big, but Hogswart itself is pretty big, too, so if you just want to enjoy magic without being pulled into the plot, you could do that too. Or you could jsut move to Beauxbatons. And if you want take part in the main story without messing things up, that should be pretty easy too, right? You know the Horcruxes, where they're located, and how to get rid of them. You know every move of Voldemort's, you know who he is.
"Now, my dear, don't be hasty–"
The only big points against it, is that, there would in fact be a war, and of course Legillimency. But again, if you want to avoid the war, you can easily do so. If you want to avoid being mind read, just avoid eye contact and maybe throw a shield charm or two.
"I can't even read books anymore!"
Compared to other worlds, like where children are raised to be trained killers, or where giant cannibalistic monsters exist, or humanity struggles agaisnt the zombie apocalypse, the Wizarding World was right down tame.
"Look, of course you can-"
...That however, is assuming you get reborn near main story timeline, or that you even get reborn as a wizard, or that you even get reborn as a human.
"You think I can walk into a bookstore like this?"
Oppasable thumbs, how I miss you so. Alas, I must not have treated you with proper respect when I was a human, and now must suffer horrendously as a result. A moment of silence, please, as I mourn my ability to turn the pages of a book, or hold an object with a firm grip, or cook a delicious pizza.
"That is not the most important thing in the world–"
And while we're on the topic, allow me a moment to grieve the nonexistence of pizza and other delicious, delicious food, like lasagna, mashes potatoes, burgers, ice cream, and oh god, chocolate in this time period. Of all the times to be reborn, why on earth did I have to be reborn a thousand years before the story even started?!
"It is to me. God, what did I do to deserve this?"
I wanted to see how long Dumbledore's hair really was, and what Harry's hair really looked like, I wanted to know if Snape really was a git, or see if Draco really was as pretty as people were convinced. I wanted to know things, goddammit. I wanted to live and breathe and be the magic.
"Look–"
I wanted, I had really, really, wanted to be a witch. Can you imagine it? You've come so far, you've experienced death, you've left an entire world behind, the only world you've ever known, you've struggled through the humiliation that was your rebirth, and then you see magic. Only, you're not a part of it. You can't make make fire dance to your whims, you can't make things twist into existence, you can't cast spells.
"And the only person I can look at is you. You're not even hot, damn it. Fuck my life."
The only power you do have? The power to kill. The power to murder, to destroy a person with a glance. And that's not a power at all, that's a curse. Magic isn't supposed to be like that. Magic is fun, magic is excitement, magic is childish fantasies come true, magic is faith, trust, and pixie dust – It's not supposed to only be something so deadly. I never asked for this. It's not fair.
"Language! And I am plenty hot – I'll have you know dozens of women and men swoon over me. Now, as I was saying, with magic, anything is possible, so I can search for a way to make you human–"
But well, I suppose that's life, so I'll have to deal with it. And if you don't like your life, the only thing you can do is move forward. And if you can't do it on your own, you can ask for help, right? Even if I myself couldn't do magic, real magic, I luckily had a possible friend who could.
"Are you serious?!"
When I wished on a shooting star to be a part of the Harry Potter universe, I hadn't expected to be reborn as the basilisk of all things. Nonetheless, I would make the most of it, I would be a human again someday, and until then, I'll eagerly await the day the internet arrives.
"Of course. I am one of the greatest wizards of the century, you know."
...And order my minions to destroy all roosters in all of Europe. Can't go and accidentally die until I finish watching all those anime series, can I? Even if I had to wait a thousand years, I would finish watching them, damn it.
"Oh god, thank you! I take back everything mean I ever said about you. This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship, I can tell, Salazar."
The man in front of me, Salazar Slytherin, rolled his eyes.
"I'm sure you can, Myrtle."
I wrote this way, way, back, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with this now. I do like this idea, but I lost all my notes for it. So if you've got any ideas, tell me because I'm kinda lost. If I'm perfectly honest, this probably won't be continued unless it looks like people are interested in it. Most readers do dislike SI stories after all, so sorry if you liked this?
~ketsui meraki
