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Situation with Sam was getting worse.
Dean woke up in the middle of the night and heard Sammy coughing violently in the bathroom. He immediately sat up. More and more coughs echoed though dark silence of their room.
Dean just silently kept listening. It felt each one cough was like knife into his heart.
Sam was there more than half of the hour and when he was finally able to come back, Dean immediately lay back and closed his eyes pretending to be asleep. As soon as he could hear Sam's snores again, Dean dared to open his eyes. There's just no way he could fell asleep now.
He gulped down bitterly.
Dean didn't questioned Sam about his state anymore, but he knew that it was getting worse and worse by day. It was driving him crazy. Sam totally ignored his symptoms.
But Dean couldn't. It was happening. Right in front of his eyes. He couldn't ignore more and more unsuccessfully hidden bloody tissues - just like he couldn't ignore Sam's coughing attacks and drops of blood on his shirts.
Dean run hand though his hair.
The thing even worse than all of this was that he couldn't do anything about it. Dean would do anything just to switch their places. His brother doesn't deserve this.
Dean wanted so desperately talk to Sam about all of this. Unfortunately, they didn't talk about his brother's coughing exept one time in the car on their way home, right after Cas mysteriously disappeared.
Cas.
Another being which worried the hell out of Dean.
He felt something was very wrong with his angel since he came out of purgatory. He knew something strange was happening with his Castiel. But this? All of this took by a surprise even him – Great Dean Winchester who no one can possibly surprise anymore after all things he had been through.
He knew for sure that Cas would never harm him, so when his angel attempted to kill him, he immediately knew his angel is manipulated. Dean couldn't stop wondering what broke connection Cas had with Naomi.
What opened Cas's eyes? What had finally woken his friend up?
Dean felt single tear running down his cheek. He only wishes to have at least some of the answers. If only he could talk to Cas again.
Despite his will, while thinking about his angel, older Winchester soon fell asleep.
Next morning Dean woke up before his brother. He decided to have a shower and started to make breakfast when he noticed something was wrong. His brother always wakes up before breakfast.
Sudden realization hit him. His heart skipped a beat.
"SAAAAAM!"
Dean ran next to his brother's bed.
Sam was deadly cold.
He brought his palm over his mouth. Sam wasn't breathing.
"SAAAAAAM! SAAAAAMY!"
Dean started to shake violently with his brother still screaming his name.
Nothing.
Dean didn't know how long he had been waking him up, but by the end he could feel tears in his eyes.
"Sammy… No. Please. Wake up…"
Silence.
"Sammy… Come on. You can't do this to me…"
Dean silently stared at his brother. After few moments he broke down completely and pulled Sammy's motionless body in his arms.
Nothing simply mattered to Dean anymore. Only thing he knew was that he was crying his brain out and was holding his brother's dead body.
Hunter was shaking violently not paying attention to the streams of tears on his face. He almost suffocated from all the feelings which were rising inside him. He doesn't care anymore. He wants to die.
This was all his fault. If he talked to him they could have worked it out. He could have saved him. He-
Dean was cut off when he heard familiar coughing.
"D-Dean?"
Dean's eyes snapped open and pulled away.
"Sam?"
"Dean what happened? Why are you crying?"
Dean couldn't help but laughed and pulled his brother back into his arms.
"Sweet God, Sammy. I thought I lost you…"
"Lost me? I don't understand man. I was sleeping…"
"Believe me man, I'm sure you were dead. I checked…"
Sam just laughed.
"Believe me, I would know better…"
Now, Dean was starting to get nervous. This can't be. He was fairly certain that his brother was dead just a minute ago and no one could prove him otherwise.
But how is that possible Sam still thinks that he was just sleeping?
Dean didn't feel like to argue with his brother, so he just hugged him tighter, thanking whoever or whatever brought his brother back to life.
When they finished their breakfast Sam went to library to search something about their newest case. Dean was still concerned and wanted to go with his brother, but Sam wouldn't let him.
Dean suddenly realized that he's sitting in the motel room all alone.
He sighed loudly.
This was getting too much.
Dean was pretty sure that what happened in the morning could happen anytime now. And what if he wouldn't be around? What if his brother just dies all of a sudden and he won't be able to do anything about that? He didn't even want to think about how lucky he was this time.
Dean turned TV on, not paying attention what he was looking at, anyway. He tried to relax but he felt more and more frustration and sadness rise inside him. After few minutes of inner war Dean decided it's enough. He needs to speak with someone. He needs to speak with Cas again. He needs to ask him what the hell is happening with him and his brother. He needs to know where the hell had his angel disappeared. He needs to know if Cas is all right.
"Hey Cas," Dean begun
"I don't know if you can hear me but I'm trying anyway…"
Dean chucked a little bit. It felt like ages for him since he spoke to his angel.
"The thing is… I-…I-… Damn it, Cas! Could you please come here? I know… Okay? We were both surprised by your actions last time, but believe me, man - I knew it wasn't you and I'm certainly not mad at you or something. Okay? ... So, please Cas? Come here?…"
Dean dared to look across the room, hoping to find his angel standing there.
Nothing.
Dean wasn't even surprised when he felt tears in his eyes again.
"Cas please… Don't leave me here like this…. I can't do this alone anymore. I found my brother dead today, you know? I don't know what or who brought him back to life again, but man, I'm telling you if I have to go through something like this again, I won't make it. I don't know what the hell is happening to me, you and my brother... I have enough, Cas. I'm tired. So tired. I'm worried like hell about Sammy and about you. Sam won't talk to me about what's happening to him and you disappeared right after you got that godforsaken tablet! What Am I supossed to do, huh? God, I think I'm gonna explode…"
Dean took a deep breath and looked around again.
Still nothing.
This time, Dean couldn't hold back and let his eyes flood with tears.
"DAMN IT, CASTIEL YOU SON OF A BITCH I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER BEFORE! IS IT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK YOU TO SHOW UP?!"
Dean buried his face into his palms.
"You know what? I get it - I understand. You just simply don't care about me anymore…"
Dean was sobbing now, not able to continue.
Suddenly, he felt pair of hands on his shoulders, pulling him into hug.
"I care more than you think, Dean…" Angel whispered.
"Cas!" Dean breathed and wrapped his arms around his angel's waist.
"Shhh, Dean... I'm here now… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"
Blue eyed angel rubbed comforting circles at his hunter's back while hunter buried his face into angel's neck.
"Jeez, Cas I thought you would never show up…"
Angel hugged Dean tighter and kissed him on his forehead.
"I'm so sorry, Dean. I wanted to make sure Naomi doesn't control me anymore. I couldn't live with myself if I harmed you again…"
Dean started to relax a little bit. Cas's warmth and his sweet voice were more comforting than he would ever admit.
"It doesn't matter Cas…Hell, I missed you so much…"
"I missed you too, Dean."
After good 15 minutes Dean calmed down and reluctantly pulled away from his angel.
Damn, how much he missed to have him around!
"I'm so sorry about you brother, Dean. You're saying you have no idea what happened?"
Dean shook his head.
"No. Last night I woke up when I heard coughing Sammy hell out of himself and then he fell asleep. And, in the morning, I found my brother dead. Sam told me, he was just sleeping, but I'm sure he was dead. I know it for sure. Please, Cas you have to believe me. He was dead…"
"Shh, Dean I believe you. You don't need to worry…"
"I don't know what's going on with him. I'm afraid that sooner or later he won't wake up…I- … I-"
"Hey, Dean you need to calm down…. I promise we will find out what's going on with him and who brought him back to life, okay?"
Dean nodded.
"Promise me you won't leave like that ever again…"
Cas's eyes softened and gently caressed Dean's shoulder.
"Dean, you need to understand. I have to keep an eye on Angel Tablet. I swear I would be coming here more often, if you want me to… I care about you and your brother. There's nothing I want more than just to keep you safe - I thought you would know that by now… I didn't come here lately, because I was afraid I would harm you again and that's the last thing I wish to do. Now, when I know for sure that Naomi doesn't control me anymore, I'll be glad to come here more and help you find out what's happening to you brother, okay?"
Dean nodded and felt his eyes watering again, but this time, he managed to stop his tears.
"I have to go now, Dean. I'll try to find out as much as I can about Sam's state and what we could do about that, okay?"
Dean forced himself to smile.
"Thank you, Cas... Come back soon…"
Angel smiled in reply and with a flapper of wings, Dean was again standing alone in quiet motel room.
TBC
