AN: Hello. I need to come right and say that this is my very first attempt at writing fan fiction. I love reading it and wouldn't have attempted this since there are so many others out there that are WAY better at it but this story sort of leapt into my brain and snuggied down into a warm comfy place. Trust me, it was going nowhere and I spent the majority of my day today (when I SHOULD have been working at doing work things) writing this chapter. So yes, I got paid to write this. Hooah. Please read and review to tell me how much it sucks or perhaps how much you love it. Hope you enjoy.

Oh, and the songs of A Hollow Life are actually the songs of Rise Against, one of the best bands on the planet. The music just seemed to fit perfectly with how I see Ichigo and Renji and the others. I highly recommend listening to their albums if you don't already.


DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and I don't own Bleach cuz if I did there would be a whole lot more nekkidness.


A Hollow Life

Song 1

The energy in the stadium was unreal. The packed crowd of twenty thousand hot and sweaty men and women hummed in excitement and the field of bodies rolled and shook like a prime surfer's wave as the deep base and heavy guitar thumped and screamed from the stage. The crowd surged with the music and thousands of voices sang along with the front man who stood proud at center stage with his mouth almost pressed to the microphone that stood in front of him, shouting one of the band's older but still popular hits.

Deep inside these burning buildings
Voices die to be heard
Years we spent teaching a lesson
We ourselves had never learned

And if strength is born from heartbreak
Then mountains I could move
And if walls could speak I'd pray
That they would tell me what to do

If you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by.
Forget my name and I'll forget it too.
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives
Are what keep me coming back to you.

Ichigo Kurosaki, the front man and voice of A Hollow Life, put everything he had into the words that flowed from him. He could almost feel the heartbeat of every fan out there. Energy from the crowd flooded over him in a wave of ecstatic force, electrifying his nerve endings and setting him ablaze. There was nothing he loved more than being onstage, performing his songs in front of a sold out crowd. To feel the audience's pulse in the air was something he hoped he could feel forever.

The song rocked from the speakers while the band raged on stage. Ichigo stood up front, in the center, with his beloved Gibson in his hands. His bright orange hair which had been carefully moussed into a 'just rolled out of bed' look was now semi-wet with the sweat that dripped down his face. The stage lights shining down onto him were hot enough, never mind the pyrotechnics that erupted from the stage during perfectly timed portions of the show. It had been Kisuke's idea to add the effects and while some of the band had been against it originally, they'd all come around eventually. Their loud punk-rock sound needed some equally loud punk-rock effects. At least, that's what Kisuke, their manager, had said and Ichigo had to agree. The fans seemed to enjoy it anyway.

No signs of life here, save the embers, the occasional flame,
We'd know the way but can't remember, conception to the grave,
Shout confessions from the greatest heights, where no one can hear,
All my fears, my insecurities are falling like tears.

If you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by.
Forget my name and I'll forget it too.
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives
Are what keep me coming back to you.

The lyrics growled from Ichigo's throat and he couldn't help but smile while his best friends raged around him. Grimm's nimble fingers flew across the strings of his guitar while Toshiro's plucked against the fatter strings of his bass. The three guitarists spanned the front of the stage while Renji sat to the rear, behind his massive drum kit, keeping the beat.

The drones all slave away, they're working overtime,
They serve a faceless queen, they never question why.
Disciples of a God, that neither lives nor breathes, (I won't come back!)
But we have bills to pay; yeah we have mouths to feed! (I won't come back!)
I won't come back!

And if you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by.
Forget my name and I'll forget it too.
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives
Are what keep me coming back to you.

I'm coming back to you

Ichigo screamed the last line just as a spike of flame shot from each end of the stage. He took a breath as the crowd went wild. He readjusted his guitar strap on his neck while the fans jumped and screamed. Leaning into the mic a bit more, he smiled, thanked the crowd and immediately started the next song. The rhythm of it changed their energy from a screaming mass to a writhing stretch of rolling human bodies. Toshiro's bass and Renji's drums beat out a rhythm that had the crowd grinding in place rather than raging until Ichigo's melodic voice went from a soft timbre to a growl that only he could accomplish.

Warm yourself by the fire, son,
And the morning will come soon.
I'll tell you stories of a better time,
In a place that we once knew.

Before we packed our bags
And left all this behind us in the dust,
We had a place that we could call home,
And a life no one could touch.

Don't hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don't need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

The crowd immediately became an ocean again with twenty thousand people jumping in place; hands raised in a rock-n-roll triumph. Ichigo smiled against the mic and cast a glance to Grimm who'd taken a place on the edge of the stage, head bent low as he played. A group of girls were scrambling to get closer, reaching over each other trying to simply touch the blue haired musician. As usual, he made time to smile and wink at them before moving away, heading back to his own mic where he chimed in with backup vocals.

We are the angry and the desperate,
The hungry, and the cold,
We are the ones who kept quiet,
And always did what we were told.

But we've been sweating while you slept so calm,
In the safety of your home.
We've been pulling out the nails that hold up
Everything you've known.

Don't hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don't need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Toshiro stayed back from the edge as usual, eyes roaming the crowd but focused on the music coming from the white bass in his hands. Ichigo smirked at the sight of the smaller man. Toshiro Hitsugaya wasn't really a 'people person' and he tended to get rude towards others. Lucky for him, Ichigo was the front man and the face of the band which allowed Toshiro to stay in the background most of the time. It was really too bad for those that didn't know him personally because behind his 'I'm too good for you' façade he was a really cool guy. The fans loved him regardless. The girls thought he was pretty and the guys either agreed with the girls or just appreciated the way Toshiro could play those four strings better than anybody else.

So open your eyes child,
Let's be on our way.
Broken windows and ashes
Are guiding the way.

Keep quiet no longer,
We'll sing through the day,
Of the lives that we've lost,
And the lives we've reclaimed.

Go!

Don't hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don't need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don't hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don't need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Ichigo stepped back from the mic and focused on the crowd while his fingers moved over the strings on his guitar. The notes were so familiar to him now that he barely needed to look down as he and his three best friends finished up the instrumental part of the song. He could hear people in the crowd singing along with the notes and it made him smile. The girls in the front row were dancing suggestively; still trying to get Grimm's attention but the man wouldn't be and couldn't be swayed from his music. It was what he was most passionate about and once he immersed himself in something, once he truly set himself to doing something, there was no one around that could stop him. It was one thing Ichigo truly appreciated about him. Both men had problems sleeping some nights and it was on those sleepless nights when they were stuck on the bus, riding from city to city that the two of them would sit up and write. Some of their biggest hits had come from those insomnia-induced sessions.

Don't hold me up…
(I don't need your help, I'll stand my ground)
Don't hold me up…
(I don't need your help)
No! No! No!
Don't hold me up!
(I don't need your help, I'll stand my ground)
Don't hold me up!
(I don't need your help, I'll stand my ground)
Don't let me down, down, down, down, down!

With a few final lines, Ichigo and Grimm sang the final verse and with a final pull on his whammy bar, Grimm brought the song to a close and Ichigo smiled at the crowd. "Thank you," he said before the screaming magnified. "You guys are a wicked good crowd. You seem to be having a good time so here's another for you."

The screaming never really stopped and Ichigo never expected it to. He couldn't imagine playing in front of a crowd that didn't make noise and scream and screech at him and his band mates, but there was enough of a lull in the noise level to signal to him that it was a perfect time to start the next song. Back in his earlier days of singing he'd hated singing unaccompanied and completely solo but he'd gotten over it and now even enjoyed it. When he'd been writing the song he was about to start he'd thought it would sound better with a lot more musical accompaniment during the first few lines but Grimm and the others had disagreed. It had been recorded with just Grimm playing a few notes along with him and that was how they performed it.

It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten
What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them
As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping
Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten

Ichigo stood with his hands on the mic, guitar hanging from his neck and feet spread slightly. The words came from him clear and powerful before Renji and Toshiro initiated a quick brutal beat that had Grimm and Ichigo both smiling as they reached for their respective guitars and began to play and sing.

There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you
Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have


There was such freedom in performing. While he was onstage, Ichigo felt like he could do anything. The band had every person in the crowd under their spell and Ichigo could wrap their minds around him with his words.

But the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

1000 miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again

I don't hate you
I don't hate you, NO

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no

The band played several of their biggest hits and a few of their earlier songs and even threw in a cover of Journey's "Any Way You Want It" before they brought the show to a close with their current radio single. Ichigo thanked the crowd again and meant every word. He wasn't stupid. He knew they wouldn't be where they were, at the top of the music world, without their fans and the band used every opportunity they had to thank the people that weren't afraid to stand outside in the rain or snow to buy tickets or their newest release. The crowd was one loud thunderous roar as the show ended. Renji came out from around his drums and joined the others at the front where they all either bowed or waved. Ichigo gave the crowd one last smile and followed his friends backstage where people were scrambling around to either get at the band for questions or autographs or to get the show closed down. Instrument techs went straight for the guitars and relieved them from Toshiro, Grimm and Ichigo. Without another word, they all headed for the dressing room to grab their stuff.

Ichigo wanted to get on the bus where he could sit and rest on the way to the hotel where a long hot shower was waiting for him. From the corner of his eye he watched Renji twirl his drumsticks in his fingers. The motion was perpetual and had become a constant to Renji. Something he always did without realizing it. Whether he had his drumsticks or a pencil or chopsticks when they had Chinese takeout, they were always twirled in his fingers before he'd start tapping out a beat on the closest hard surface. Ichigo smiled at the image his friend made. Sweat soaked bright red hair hung down his back from the ponytail he always wore during shows and the bandanna he wore could have been rung out it was so wet. Ichigo had trouble understanding where the man's perpetual energy came from. The taller of the two had just spent three hours raging behind a drum kit, using his arms and legs to set the pace for the music and even though his shirtless tattooed chest was practically dripping in sweat he still looked like he could run ten miles with no problem.

"That was one hell of a show, Itch," Grimm said, using the nickname he'd given Ichigo years before.

Ichigo nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it was. They seemed to dig the Journey cover."

"We should do more of that," Toshiro, who was walking behind Ichigo, added quietly. "

Renji, who'd started tapping a beat onto his leg, nodded in reply. "Hell yeah. That was bad ass."

Ichigo didn't spare any time grabbing his bag from the dressing room and heading out to the bus that was parked right next to the building. Stepping from the door he quickly cast a glance to his left to see a small group of fans standing behind a barricade. He didn't stare too long but was sure he caught sight of long auburn hair before Renji moved through the door behind him and pushed him towards the waiting bus with a hand on his back. "Keep it moving, Skinny."

Frowning to himself, Ichigo took the stairs up into the bus and plopped down into a chair.

Renji tossed his own bag onto the floor next to him and took the chair across from Ichigo. "What's with the frown, my man?"

Scowling brown eyes slid over to meet curious red-brown ones. "Outside… I thought I saw her…"

Renji frowned. "Her? You mean…"

Ichigo nodded.

"Where?"

"Outside," Ichigo answered, pointing in the direction of where the barricade sat.

Renji's scowl deepened as he stood up and moved towards the window. He stared outside for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't see her, Ichigo. Are you sure?"

"No. I was going to look but you pushed me into the bus."

"Sorry," the drummer said, looking back at him.

Ichigo shrugged. "Not like I want to see her, you know. But I saw someone with the same hair and I thought it was her."

Renji watched him shiver involuntarily. "Well you're safe on the bus so don't worry too much about it. Kisuke's got security all around us, you know. She won't be able to get close enough to do anything."

Ichigo nodded and chewed on his lower lip. "Yeah. You're right."

Before anymore could be said, Toshiro and Grimm jumped onto the bus and the door swung shut behind them, cutting off all of the outside noise. Toshiro saw the grim looks on their faces and before he could ask, Renji told them what Ichigo had seen.

Grimm cursed. "Fucking stalker. You'd think she'd get the hint, eh? It's obvious Itch doesn't want anything to do with her."

Toshiro grimaced. "But her mind doesn't see it like that and you know it. She thinks they have a relationship and her twisted brain can't comprehend the fact that they're basically nothing more than strangers. Is she still sending you gifts, Ichigo?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Don't know. Kisuke's handling all of that. I don't see any of it if she is."

"And the phone calls?"

"Yeah, every once in a while I get a hang up call."

Renji sat forward in his chair and leaned his elbows on his knees. "You need to change your number again."

Ichigo blew out an exasperated breath and ran his hands through his still damp hair. "I know but I'm sick of having to do that. It'd be what, the tenth time in the last couple of months? I'm sick of having to remember a new phone number every week."

"You can't afford to take risks, Ichigo."

"I know but…"

"No buts, Ich," Renji said, slightly annoyed. "Are you going to just let this continue?"

Ichigo slid farther down his seat and stretched his legs out. "What do you expect me to do, Renji?"

"I…"

"I agree with Ichigo."

Renji, Grimm & Ichigo all turned to look at Toshiro. His words were clearly not what Renji wanted to hear. "What?"

"There isn't much he can do, is there," he said, "It's not like she's done anything yet. Yes, it's creepy and disturbing but until she does something truly dangerous there isn't much anyone can do about it."

"So you just want it to continue? You want Ichigo to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life? Waiting for some psycho to do something to him?"

The bus door swung open with a hiss before anyone could answer and Kenny, the band's giant crazy haired bus driver, stepped onboard. "Everyone here and ready to head to the hotel?"

Grimm was the first to respond. "Yeah, let's get the hell out of here. I need a shower."

Nothing else was said while Kenny put the bus in gear and pulled away from the stadium. Toshiro and Grimm moved away from Ichigo and headed to the back. Ichigo could hear them arguing over which game to play on the Xbox and it made him smirk. Nothing changed between those two. They constantly argued like brothers. Renji stared at Ichigo until his eyes met him again. "I'm not trying to piss you off, you know," he whispered. "I just worry."

Ichigo nodded. "I know and I appreciate it."

"Are you going to mention tonight to Kisuke?"

"Yes. He should know. I'll call him later."

Renji sat back and sighed. "Sounds good, Ich. Sounds good."

Ichigo simply nodded again and stared out the window. It might sound good to Renji but he wasn't the one being forced to deal with a young woman who believed she was in a relationship with him.


***