Okay, so...yeah. This is also written by She-of-the-Ever-Changing-Name, so co-credit goes to her. :P
"It's not going to woooork…"
"You never know…in all my insanity I might have struck gold. Just promise me that you'll prick my finger when I ask!"
"Hey, if you're into self-mutilation, that's fine with me. Just don't drag me into it! And come up with a better excuse. Seriously, a 'ritual'?"
"Blood sacrifice always works for a power boost. Have you never read a decent fantasy novel? Anyway, not just a ritual, a summoning."
"Ugh, whatever! Ritual, summoning, same difference. At least I know when my fantasy books end and the real world begins!"
"I know I'm crazy, don't rub it in! Anything is worth a shot now…can we get on with it? HE is waiting."
"God, FINE. Don't blame me if something goes wrong." The girl tossed back her black hair impatiently, and fumbled for the needle. "Are you sure this is sanitary? You could get tetanus or something…"
"I'll be fine, don't worry. Plus, anything happening would be a good thing."
"Even if that anything is you ending up in a hospital bed…" she mumbled. "Or a straitjacket, for that matter…ah, here they are! Good ol' Lysol wipes, what would we do without you?" She pulled out a wipe with a flourish, then wrapped the needle in it and rubbed it up and down. "There…now come here."
"Wait! There are steps that have to be taken. We haven't even got the circle of the catalysts drawn. But, then again, why should you know any of that? The only reason you're doing this is because I made you and because you think he's gay! Remember Winifred?"
"Hey now, I never said he was gay gay. I said he was gay for Harry. There's a difference."
"It's platonic!"
"Whatever, Diana. Can we just draw the circle of the enzymes?"
Diana waved her hand in frustration, then turned to rummage around in a canvas bag. The dim light glinted softly off the pentacle around her neck.
"Di, hurry up! I've got to be home for dinner in –" she checked her watch. "half an hour! Get Mr. Diehard Obsession over here so I can go home!"
"His name is BOB, Artemis! Or Hrothbert, whichever you prefer. Personally, I prefer Hrothbert –"
"And I'll just keep calling him Mr. Diehard Obsession until you GET OVER HIM. Now hurry up, I'm sick of rubbing this stupid needle."
"I'll start singing unless you call him by one of his proper names…which song, Falcon in the Dive or If I Can't Love Her?"
"You. Finger. Needle. Now."
"Wait! There, circle drawn, catalysts placed, pentacle on neck. Just let me say something and then do it. Honestly, you have no sense of dramatic timing."
Artemis puffed up her cheeks and blew a huge sigh, then sat down with a thump on an overstuffed beanbag. Her black eyes strayed to the computer sitting a few feet away. "Might as well…" She stood up with a grunt and bent down to the computer to turn it on. She began merrily clacking away on the keyboard, then stopped. "I wonder…" She began, predictably enough, to Google BobxHarry fanfictions.
"What are you doing?" asked Diana in a muffled voice as she pulled a black cashmere sweater over her head.
"Ah…nothing!" Artemis quickly minimized her window, revealing a picture of Mr. Diehard Obsession…otherwise known as Hrothbert of Bainbridge, and better known as simply Bob. She turned around and leaned her hip against the desk, drumming her fingers on the pale surface.
"Well, let's get started." Diana stepped into the chalk circle, adjusted her necklace, and said, "I invoke the elements that bind our reality together; earth, fire, wind, and water. I charge thee with one task: pierce the fabric of space and time, and bring the one known as Hrothbert of Bainbridge to me. I beg thee, implore thee, and beseech thee–"
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"FINE! You just ruined a moment, I hope you know that. The short version then. Hrothbert of Bainbridge, we summon you. Do it!"
Artemis sighed grumpily and walked across to Diana, scuffing several of the chalk lines as she went. "Hold out your hand, then." She grabbed Diana's middle finger and lowered the now pine-scented needle to the skin. "Hold still…" She broke through the skin, and a thick drop of blood oozed its way out and dropped to the floor. "There you go…now what?"
"Wait…"
Nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen for 10 minutes. Finally, Diana collapsed in the middle of the circle and began to sob uncontrollably. Artemis walked over and rubbed her shoulders. "C'mon, let's get you a Band-Aid…"
Unfortunately for them, as Artemis dragged Diana out of the circle, several more lines were scuffed and some catalysts were knocked about. Also unfortunately for them, the computer remained on, and they didn't notice the hair-thin crackle of purple energy that was lazily drifting from the image on the computer screen to the single drop of blood in the middle of the broken summoning circle. It twirled around in the air for a bit, twisting this way and that, until it was almost touching the droplet. It floated slowly around it, almost as if considering its options, then reached out a little more and gently poked it. Nothing happened for a second, and then…
"Diana?"
"Uhuh?"
"This isn't your bathroom, is it?"
"…"
"…"
"Oh, YES!"
"Oh, SHIT!"
Well, there you have it. Tune in next time for...why the hell am I even putting this in here? Oh yes, filler.
