Soul
Summary: Hiei contemplates on his beloved.(one-shot, slight sexual situation)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Hiei, so nyeh ! Enjoy!
The eyes have it. In their depths lie the person's true core, real nature, a doorway to the soul. I'm sure my onna has tried to find my soul, many times, as she tends to pin me down often enough to just meet me eye-to-eye. Does she think that I would show my true self, my demon self, to her, by just a stare? Yet, I find it so hard to close my inner doors to her. A mere glance, and my heart screams to let her in. It screams as I tell it to shut up. When she cannot find my soul, she becomes less playful, and leans more into a state of depression. Hurting her, denying my onna this desire, this I must do. My demon heart lusts for only blood and power, my true heart lusts for only blood and power, and her. Looking into her eyes, I see a heart and soul that just begs to be saved. In those eyes, I also see a form of relief that I have hidden from her, and in that I am spared. Onna, why do you seek what you do not want to find? I see the way you look at them, searching, wanting, but happy without the knowledge. He haunts your deepest memories, and they resurface as he pulls that ningen onna close to him, kisses her, and you...you come to me. You think that I do not see that ghost within you, why? Because you cannot see mine? My onna...I see all that concerns you, every last detail. I do not need my Jagan for this, only my heart. Why can't you spare us the trouble today, and just kiss me? My eyes seek to build a wall, and you concentrate on tearing it down.
She seeks what should not be sought. The cold, hard fact is, it would break her heart if she saw the true me. But as her eyes bore into mine, I cannot help but let down one more barrier. " Hiei..." This one word from her lips fills me to the very core with longing to follow my heart. It strikes my very soul, whose demonic wishes have infested it for too long.
"Yes, onna?" She kisses me now, softly, as if I were made of glass. What else can I do but kiss back? Slipping gently across my lips, her
silky tongue enters my mouth. Oh, onna, why do you have to love him? Her kisses are half-hearted, I can tell. All she really seeks is love from that bastard of a ningen, leaving me to pick up her broken pieces.I suppose that is why she truly wants to see me, as I really am. A chance for love. Talking to me as my friend and lover, but kissing me...I am not Hiei to her when we kiss. I am that sorry excuse for existence. A part of her wants to see him inside of me, to recapture a snapshot of what she desires most. She wants, she believes, I may be him, in real, for her. See everything, and have a chance at seeing him. She...onna, I am not him. I will never be him. Is that why my heart cries out for you to see the truth? So maybe you will move on? I try to stifle it's pathetic cries, to keep her. Once she sees my true self, she will realize that I am not the one she truly loves. I won't take that chance! Onna, forget this and just kiss me, please. You are blinded by desperate will and desire to obtain something that will never be.
" Why do you avoid my gaze?" A question, simple and blunt in it's phrasing, but effective enough to make me want to tell her everything. Instead, I just lift her soft body and place it on the bed. Slowly, my lips graze her chin, journeying to the juncture between her neck and shoulder. My tongue bathes the skin there, while my teeth nip. A small moan calls me to enthrall my lover more. I focus on her neck, mainly, alternatively kissing, nipping, and tongueing. Her breath becomes shallow as my left hand travels down to her smooth bellybutton, one finger stroking its silky interior.
Drunken with pleasure, my onna runs her delicate hands thorugh my hair.
" Koishii, you must be more skeptical of me than usual. " Lying to her pains me more than I can imagine. Looking up, I see her beautiful eyes filled to it's brim with confusion, doubt, and enjoyment of my ministrations. She is wearing a light gray skirt today, with a cotton shirt the color of blood. I close my eyes, afraid that my lie would make itself known if I let her see them. My right hand pushes the skirt over her hips, so my mouth can feel the wonderfully bare skin of her inner thighs.
" Hiei...oh...Hiei..." Lips parted, my koishii moans my name. My name. I feel like I could kill of my deminic half, just for her. Soft hands pull me up to bring my lips to hers. ' Good, she's forgotten about trying to find who you are.' ' Hn, not for long. '
" I love you, koishii. "
" Hiei. Make me a promise." She's torn herself away from my lips, sitting upright with her knees together and arms in front of her, palms spread out on the blanket. " Let me in."
Dear Kami, I think I wrecked another wall as she looked into my eyes...
