Hitomi: Hey. This is my first FF7 fic so please do be kind. I am new to everything, but have fallen for the ZxC couple. Yet I do think that, as a bad boy or something, Reno would look cute with someone too, but I'm not sure who . . . boy girl whatever, but that's off topic. Anyways that is beside the point. This fanfiction has strong themes of sexual content, language and violence. Please be weary when reading. This is rated a High rating for a reason. Well besides that, please R+R reviews are the ONLY thing I will write for. Thank you.\
My Name is Misery
Chapter one
Gloom
Cloud sighed as clouds lazily rolled in the sky. He was currently in his makeshift bedroom, sporting a black eye and sour mood. He was grounded. The fact that he was grounded like a little kid angered him almost as much as the reason 'why' he had been grounded.
Clouds room was at the top floor of the house, actually it was the attic but he had an improvised window-more so a hole in the wall he had created, that let in enough light in to make it homey no one bothered him up here, no one but his dad that was, but he wasn't worried about the elder blond at the moment. Cloud glared at nothing in particular as he thought about his father. The man hated him enough, that was, and so of course he was going to side with Roy. Roy was his dad's friend's son. A year older then Cloud himself, but much more buff, tall, and all together manly looking. He even was harboring a year old beard. Something Cloud hadn't had yet, and it embarrassed him even more.
Everyone in his small town hated him. Everybody. And, Cloud seethed silently, he hated them all back. To everyone, including his father, he was the one who was worthless, and dishonorable. The very fact he looked like a girl and, by fifteen, hadn't shown any particular sexual interest to a girl, enraged his father and earned him dark looks from the fellow adults in town. It was a very small place, he knew, and so most of the people there were closed minded. Even though he knew for a fact not all of them were as 'clean' as they claimed to be.
Not too long ago he had seen two grown men together, and, as repayment for not telling anyone about them, one told his father about his 'sneaking about at odd hours of the night' as he put it. Cloud had just been going on a walk. It wasn't his fault that he caught them making out in the bushes.
Being the most shunned, and hated out of the town, Cloud was also wise for his age. He had to be, ever since his mother had died a little over five years before, raise himself, and nothing was there to shield him from the cruel world. Cloud, as he thought, was slightly tainted. He had seen and heard many things. But, that made it so he could stay out of the hospital. Or out of his grave.
A bang on the door downstairs announced the arrival of his father. He hadn't even noticed time go by. It was already dusk, and his father was done watching the chocobo races with Roy and his father Sean. Cloud laughed bitterly, if you could call it a laugh, at the thought that Sean had been the very one telling his father of his 'sneaking about'. And he had the right to call Cloud a dirty homo.
"Boy," if any humor had been with Cloud, it left him then. His father was drunk. Like so many times before, he came home drunk. Before his mother had died, his father had tolerated his presence but only because he loved his wife. She assured her husband that Clouds small body and girlish appearance such as long lashes, lush full lips, and big innocent eyes, were all to pass at puberty. It was just a faze, she would tell him, and he would agree. That was until she died.
Cloud heard his father call again, and thought of his options. There was he went, and his father could beat him, or just yell at him, or he didn't and his father did both. So, of course, he groveled and crept silently down the stairs. He hated himself at the fear he felt.
His father was standing there, eyes red. Said eyes narrowed at the bruised eye. Cloud silently cursed. He had forgotten about his tumble with Roy.
"I heard you're causing my boy, Roy, problems," Cloud seethed. He absolutely hated it when his father called Roy 'his boy' and didn't see Cloud himself for anything but an obstacle; a mere parasite. He didn't see why he just didn't kill him.
Cloud nodded. He didn't speak much now. Before his mother died, words slowly became a deceiving friend that would get him into trouble, saving them for only moments with her or his secret friend, Tifa. But after his mother's death, they became almost foreign to him, and he had forced himself to be closed. He spoke at a maximum of five times a day, and sometime not at all. His longest conversations-only real conversations- were with Tifa, and even that became rare. After all, she was now 16 and slowly showing her womanhood. She didn't have time for a nobody-even though she rather not look it at that way.
He knew the punch was coming before he saw it. He didn't duck; he knew that would only bring more trouble. For some reason, he thought as he curled up into a ball and his father yelled at him circling him and occasionally hitting him, he never fought his father back, nor did he wish to. He hated that part of himself, that small person in the back of his mind that spoke oh so gently on how his father could still except him, still wish him to be his son if he could ever prove himself. But Cloud wasn't sure he would ever be able to do that, as for, where he wasn't sure if he was gay, he most defiantly had to be bi. His only interest had been in Tifa and that in itself had been short lived. Cloud closed his eyes when he felt another blow. He hated himself.
"Get up," he did so, confused. His father drug him to the kitchen, and through him to the table, making him fall on and over one of the chairs. Those chairs were rarely used anymore. No longer were there family dinners, so Cloud didn't thing twice when it broke beneath his weight.
His father sat him up and put him on the other chair with a quick order of, "stay."
He sat there, and suddenly noticed he was shaking. He felt new bruises forming, and each stinging bruise reminded him of how weak he really was, and how he hated himself so very deeply. His self loathing made him think of death, something that sometimes sounded inviting but on other times not.
Clouds father returned with papers in his hand and a serious look on his face. It surprised Cloud how his father could switch from being in a drunken rage to a calm cold business man. But that was what his father naturally was; a business man.
Slapping the papers in front of him, and a pen, he hissed in a snipped tone," Sign."
Cloud looked at him and blinked. And blinked again, he knew he looked dumb, hell if he were anyone else he probably would have laughed at himself, but this had never happened. He had no clue what the papers were for, or what to do. What was his father signing him into anyways?
Looked at the paper with nice typed writing and the black bold letters of ," Dealer information." Cloud looked below and saw that his birth date was already there, gender, hair and eye color height, he paled. He read very briefly into it and closed his eyes, shivering. His father was trying to make him in to . . . someone who pleasured for a living. Cloud knew early in life that he wasn't meant for anything, he had known that since his father had pulled him out of school at the age of thirteen, but to do something like this was insane. It was him signing off that he wouldn't mind giving half his share to the house that would be his. . . work place. He shivered.
"Sign," snapped his father," You are to make at least some money in this house!" Cloud felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder, and he looked back down to the paper. He had no choice. So thinking that, he signed the page in front of him, the words becoming blurry with tears. His father flipped to the next one, and Cloud saw a picture of himself. Two lines one with the words "printed" and the other "signature" was before them.
Cloud felt like he had no other option but to sign both so that is exactly what he did. But of course his mind was reeling of the options he had for what he could do afterwords, like escaping, or perhaps killing his dad-or just drugging him. He could feel a hot tear run down his face, more out of anger than anything, and he wiped it away furiously as his father snatched the papers of him, and he was able to see that the picture that had been stapled to it was him just a few months ago, for ID picturing. He wasn't even sure how his father was able to get a copy.
But when his father left his side he did the only thing that came to him by instinct. Jumping up he jerked open the door, and, ignoring his father's angered yells for him to get back, he ran. He ran not thinking of where he was going.
He ran until he got to the edge of his town. He stopped, trying to be calm, but it just seemed his breath wouldn't slow, and his heart wouldn't stop thudding against his chest, nor would his eye stop stretching open. Cloud, shaking, went and sat under the nearest tree. He could still see the opening of his home town. There was no way he wanted back, but there was no way he could make it on his own. He paused and thought. Maybe he could make his way to one of the sectors without anyone bothering him. Cloud snarled in anger, fat chance there. No money, no food, no weapon. Already he was feeling weak.
Sighing he shook his head. He had a plan.
It was still pretty early the next day when he arrived back to the town. He thought over his full proof plan again. I there his father would be at work right now, with a major hang over, or would have called out and was sleeping the day away. Either way, Cloud was sure he could scale up the two story house up to the 'third story' that was actually the attic. He would grab his things, the money he had planned to use
But on his way, to his surprise, there was a big crowed around a booth. People in uniforms stood around the booth and there was a line, not very long-but that was to be expected from the small town-made up of young, healthy, and strong looking men. Cloud walked over, intruiged as for people normally didn't crawl out of their houses till about 10:00 and it was about six now, or so he guessed.
"Anymore of you young healthy people wanna join? Become a 'soldir' earn a reputation, defend whatever you care about, and bring fame and honor to this small town of yours. Or just to work in the presence of the great GERAL SEPHIRAOTH himself!!!"the man was yelling and smiling. Cloud read his expression pretty well though; it was like some of the business men who came to the house at dinner. He was looking for fresh meat.
Cloud stood there, seeing the last guy in line grabbing a pen and sheet of paper they handed them, filling it out. The man kept yelling to all the other young men, who either shook their heads or shifted on their feet. This could be his chance. They wouldn't question him, and he was just old enough to join. His eyes lit up slightly, though no expression crossed his face. As the man was handing his paper back, Cloud straitened himself out as best he could, and walked up.
The crowd slowly silence as they saw him walk up. Cloud ignored every stare with a cold mask set in place. He made up his mind. He was never going to return to this . . . hell hole called home. Never. This was a chance to prove he was worth something, not weak like everyone called him. A chance to prove himself to, well, himself. He had no one except Tifa now, who stood in the crowd with wide eyes, and even she was slowly drifting from him, though he didn't blame her.
"uhh, young man?"Questioned the man standing in front of him.
Cloud didn't say anything but held out his hand and grab the pen. Then he held out his other, looking deeply into the eyes of the other man in front of him. Everyone else from the town was at youngest 19 out of those who were joining. Cloud himself knew he was young compared to them-but did it matter? If he didn't do this now, he would have probably been shipped off somewhere last night, never to be heard from again.
"You do know now the age restriction is 16 right?" said a kind looking woman next to the speechless man. Two other men were behind her, one he noticed to be the famous general as mentioned before and another that seemed vaguely familiar to him, watching. Sephiroth had an expressionless face on and the other had one that looked like shock. He ignored him.
"Yes," his voice was quite, and sure. He looked to her," My birthday is today; August 19th,"he ignored the cool breeze that accompanied his words, as if telling him he was more than right about the time of year.
She stood there, speechless it seemed, when the other recruiter gave him the paper," I just hope you know what you're getting into . . ."he trailed off at the stern glare from the younger boy.
"What does it matter to you?"The people of Nibelheim were staring aw struck. This, not only, was the bravest and strait forward Cloud had ever been, but also the most talkative.
The soldier snorted and back off as he saw the boy crouch over the paper he just gave him," Nothing. It's not me going getting myself killed," he probably expected a reaction because he paused, waiting. But Cloud did nothing but put his signature one last time down on the paper and jerking it forward. He didn't say anything but he did nod in what seemed . . . what could be called a thank you.
He stopped at the lady who was currently going through cloths," How tall are you dear," her voice was almost monotone and it seemed to him she really didn't want to be finding cloths for such a young 'child'. Cloud blushed, knowing the answer was already making some of the kids from his town snort, but the thought that he was sixteen and still growing, he said it anyway," 5'5." It was a height he knew to be the average girls. Tifa was the same height as him.
The woman looked and after a while, the chuckling increasing in the crowed as did Clouds blush, she found some cloths that looked suitable," if they need hemming," she murmured obviously trying to not let anyone else hear them," let me know. I'll make them the right size and everything." She smiled kindly and to her he gave a real thank you, even though it was quite.
Louder she continued," all right you're all set. Gather up your stuff, and be ready to leave Monday morning at 6 O'clock. There will be a bus here to come get you," Clouds eyes widen at the mention of Monday. He nod and grab his stuff while beating himself up mentally for not thinking ahead of time more. It was Thursday right now, and, without a roof over his head, Monday seemed just a 'little' too far away.
As he walked off, he tried to ignore the snickers and whispers from everyone else. Three more boys walked up to sing their parents boasting," Well if that 'Cloud' boy can sign up, you should have the balls to too seeing as how he lacks in that area," that particular comment came from Sean, and Cloud could see Roy up there, grinning like a cat on Christmas with a full bowl of milk. Cloud shuddered and turned away, changing the thought from milk to dead rats.
This was going to be a long week.
He had waited another day before going back to his house, stashing his cloths away on an abandoned well, not even 10 minutes from his town. He had waited until he was sure his father would be at work, and then he snuck into the house, grabbing his sack full of gill- quite a lot considering he had been saving up since he was about 13- and three pairs of cloths. He quickly grabbed his small duffle bag, and put said items in there, along with a picture of his mother. Cloud paused before adding the only other picture he had, one of him and Tifa when they were about 8. Cloud smiled momentarily at the memory. They had been playing in the park, when he was being bullied. He tried to look tuff for Tifa, only succeeding in her chasing the bullies off. His mother caught the moment after, with Tifa dabbing a wet cloth on a split lip and him looking extremely embarrassed.
Next he went to the bathroom and gathered shampoo and conditioner, some of his father's deodorant and, after thinking quickly, stole his expensive forty dollar cologne that he had just bought. While grabbing it, Cloud couldn't stop grinning. Such sweet revenge he would have on his father. Then a thought crossed his mind; what else could he do? He wasn't going to return, so there would be no punishment for him to return to.
Grinning he went down stairs. He knew where his father kept a sword from when his father served. It wasn't anything grate, but it was good enough for protection. Cloud knew, if he would be staying out in the woods, he would need something to protect himself with. And, he continued to think, he would be able to train before going. Cloud already knew how to wield a sword, even though his father hated him deeply, when he was younger, until about a year ago, he taught him how to handle swords in the hope of making his only child stronger and not as girly. Cloud had trained night and day until about a year ago his father banned all weapons from him, saying it was useless.
While he thought of this he took the sword off the rack it was on, and sheathed it. Grinning he went to the kitchen and stole some food that wouldn't stale, storing it in his bag. He froze suddenly hearing a jingling at the front door. His father was home early. Fear shot through him, and he couldn't make himself move. Finally he allowed himself to budge, scrambling under the large dinner table in the next room. The house was set up so that when you entered from the front room you could go left into the lounge, then from that room to the study, which led to the back door arctic-entry, then dining room, then kitchen, and finally the front door again. Cloud went from the kitchen to the table, not really thinking about the back door.
"I told you, I'm looking for the boy," Cloud froze, eyes wide as he heard more than one set of footsteps.
A grunt and then," Be sure you do. We had already shown his profile to some of our better paying customers and one has even put a down payment, something 'you' will have to pay back with interest if you cannot find him.
"Of course," said his father as they entered the lounge, but Cloud could still hear his voice. The door to the study was open. He breathed. He finally thought about the back door, and thought of his chances. He couldn't just stay there, could he? So, being cautious and quite as possible, Cloud crept from dining room to back door. He opened the screen, and turned the door knob when he heard a shout from the study.
"BOY!"it was his father. Fearfully Cloud ripped the door open and peeled through the back yard. He was glad the sword was in his bag, out of sight, or that would have looked really bad. Making it around the house to the front he saw the two people who were dealing him off. Also, in the near distance he saw his idol and the other soldier. It had looked like that they were pointing at the house and discussing it when they had obviously heard the yells. It looked like they had just turned around when he burst out the back. He paid them no attention as he noticed the three goons in front of him. He just missed one, and rolled out of the other way. Slipping between the last ones legs he started running, fear written all over his face as one yelled," Little bitch!"
Cloud didn't slow until he was at the edge of the woods. He dropped to his knees and hugged the tree that was, once again, nearest to him. He breathed deeply, before pushing off. Cloud felt shame burn inside him. His idol had seen him in one of his weakest moments. Angry he punched the tree. It felt kind of good, even though his knuckles were now slightly cracked and bleeding. So he continued to do it.
And that was how Zack found him, beating a tree, frustrated tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall. If the situation didn't seem so serious then he probably would have laughed and teased the boy, but it was, unfortunately, a very serious situation. They had caught the three men and the father and had questioned them all. The three men showed the papers to them, saying as how the boy had signed that he would do the job they wanted. It was a touchy subject. The fact that having an undercover hoer house was going around hiring people, but trying to get young boys to work for them was just as bad. He watched the boy, silently, as he ran out of energy and pathetically leaning on it before yelling and kicking it.
He walked over and knew the boy saw him. The boy, Cloud, straitened up and glared, wiping away angry tears.
"Hey," he said softly. He knew himself to be only four years older, but for some reason, he felt a very strong feeling that the boy, even though he had a notably strong spirit.
No words were given back," Listen I need you to come back with me. You're fathers very worried. He doesn't know, nor do we, about what is going on. But he's willing to help you, and we have those men under custody," Cloud wished deeply to say that those 'men' had been people his father was going to give him to, for money. Cloud gulped. But he didn't say anything. He just sighed, nodding. He would return, like he always did, to the man who deceived him time and time again.
He went to grab his bag, but then thought better of it. If his father knew what he had stolen, then he would not only beat Cloud harder, but also force him to give him back his stuff. Cloud couldn't afford that. So he, while walking next to the other sullenly, thought of another plan.
"Do you really want to be in soldier?" it was from the other. It made his temper flare and he glared. He always wanted a chance to prove himself, and this was his only chance. Plus he would, hopefully, be able to someday be as strong as Sephiroth himself. He planned to show everyone up and make up for the embarrassment he made himself in front of the General.
He just nodded.
"It's not to get away from those guys?"He questioned, slightly surprised.
Stopping Cloud looked at him, hard. He only gave him that stern look, before walking off and continuing on their pace.
"You want to be like the general don't you?"it was a question, but it seemed slightly rhetorical since the answer was obvious. He nodded.
The other grinned," Well, my names Zack. And once you get to basic, I think I'll help you do just that. We need somebody like you in Soldier," the last statement seemed to be there just to humor him, but the first was perfectly honest," I'm Zack. I'm first class soldier. It's nice to meet you, and I'm glad you still want to be in soldier."
"Grate," Cloud thought," here I am, talking to a soldier first class like some juvenile delinquent or something!"
Zack grinned while going through the gates to his house. His father was probably inside, putting on a big fake," I don't know how he would have gotten into this sort of stuff."
"Well since I'll be training you when you get to training, I guess I'll just come by and visit you till Sunday. We leave a day before you, to make sure everything is ready for when you noob's come." The voice was teasing, but Cloud didn't even have the heart to get mad. He just grunted.
He opened the door to the inside of his house to see his father pacing in the entry way worriedly. This was going to be a long, long weekend.
Hitomi: There I stopped. I think a lot of people have trouble with my short short oh so short chapters, so I decided to start you off on one big long one. I'll go into more detail for over the weekend when Zack comes and bothers him. Grins Please review, give me a few Ideas on what I should put in, and have them do. I think I'll have Tifa get a crush on Zack, though. You know- strong heroic handsome soldier perfect b/f material!lol. Anyways, please R+R. It encourages me to write. And tell me if you want the stories to be shorter, or about this size every time. I probably won't make them this long, but probably a page shorter if I do try and make them this size. Well REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!
