Doublemeat Done Right

Description: A Buffy/Spike fic. This is what the alley scene in Doublemeat Palace SHOULD have been.

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the good people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the God of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Spoilers: Season 6 through Doublemeat Palace

Rating: R, for mucho sexual innuendos.

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Buffy hated her job. She hated the uncomfortable outfit and the ever-present smell of grease, not to mention the strange disappearances of her co-workers. Buffy felt that she could stand it no longer, and was considering jumping into the grinder of her own free will, when she spotted Spike outside. Fortune smiled on her as she received the news that she could take her break. She removed her offensive hat, and gave Spike a knowing smile.

A few moments later she met him outside in the alley.

"So Sweetheart, how's the new job?" Spike inquired.

"Horrible," Buffy told him, sticking her lower lip out in an adorable pout. "I'm about ready to take you up on your offer to get me money."

"I could do it for you pet, no problem." Spike gave her a soft kiss on the lips to drive the pout away. It worked.

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. She attempted a weak joke to raise her spirits. "The last time I checked, most bill collectors don't accept kittens."

"I can get you hard, cold cash. No problem Goldilocks."

Buffy considered the proposition. "I'm gonna have to pass for now. As tempting as the offer is, this is really something I should do myself. After all, I doubt the social services will look lightly upon mysteriously appearing stolen money."

"Tempting, huh?" Spike asked, moving in closer to her. His lips were mere inches from hers, making her tingle with anticipation.

"Very tempting," Buffy replied, no longer even remotely thinking about work or money.

"So, handle a lot of meat in there?" Spike asked suggestively.

"Not nearly as much as I do outside of work," she answered with a giggle.

"You know that outfit is just adorable on you," he told her, playing with the collar. He began to undo the top button. "But what's underneath it is even more appealing."

Buffy's breath and pulse were quickening. He gently kissed her collarbone.

Buffy let out a little moan. "It's very hot . . . near the fryer," she finished.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Pretty hot out here Pet."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you mean," Buffy replied. She knew exactly what he meant. She felt warm all over.

"And then there's the putting the meat into the bun . . ." she continued.

"You like that, don't you Luv?"

"Oh yes."

His hand started traveling southward, and Buffy bit her lip. She closed her eyes, savoring his every touch.

"And the grinding. Gotta love the grinding," she rattled on.

"I know you like that," he said with a smile. Boy did she ever.

"So," she began, fighting for the strength to speak, "is your patty ready to be flipped?" She began to work a few hand tricks of her own.

"God yes, Buffy!"

She opened her eyes, and gazed into Spike's. "You're place. Now."

"But, what about work? You're break is almost over."

"Screw the job," she said. "I can find a better one that doesn't have any funny, monster movie of the week business going on."

"My place it is!" Spike agreed, taking her by the hand and leading her into the cemetery. "But Luv?"

"Yes Spike?"

"Why don't you see if you can keep that outfit?" he asked her with a devilish grin.