Hey guys! This is my first fic for White Collar, and it is my FAVORITE all time TV show. That being the case, this is a quick one-shot of how Neal was feeling when El told him that he'd have to lie to Peter, whom he had never lied to. Spoilers for Season 4 Episode 12: Brass Tracks, and probably minor ones up until then, but if you haven't seen those, then you'd be better off watching them then reading my mediocre fan fic, just because its so much more satisfying to watch that awesome show. So if my characters are a little off, I'm still working on writing Neal, criticisms are greatly appreciated, comments as well! Please R & R!


"If you have to lie to his face to keep him safe, you better damn well lie to his face." Elizabeth's voice was stern, flashing with worry and an undertone of concern. The beige hospital walls gave emphasis to her strong countenance, and her words screamed protection, but her eyes could comprehend the magnitude of her request. Her bright blue eyes always sympathized, but would never compromise on such a matter. Neal respected that whole-heartedly, but he almost didn't understand what it was that she was asking. In a split second the weight of her command sunk in.

It was one of those rare circumstances in life when Neal Caffrey didn't have the answer. He didn't even expect the question. Though, in hindsight he should have seen it coming. He was always prepared. Always. He must be getting out of touch, falling too far into his comfort zone. Neal realized he hadn't said anything for a brief while, staring almost dumbstruck at Elizabeth, and let his walls close up again. The crumbling facade would have to suffice for the task he was about to undergo.

The biggest problem with what El was asking him to do was his lack of counterargument. There was no honorable loophole, no particular wording to get around the situation. He pushed his brain to think harder, it was as if his conniving, criminal, utterly immoral mind could not fathom telling a lie to Peter. The thought was ludicrous, and Neal recognized that. It wasn't because he didn't have the ability, no, he had that in excess. It was the principle, and though Neal might not follow many widely accepted codes of conduct, this one was unbreakable in his book. He didn't give out his word freely, and Peter had earned his right to that principle a thousand times over.

Despite his rash, near delinquent behavior, Neal had kept his dignity. His own code. He would never take advantage of any semblance of trust Peter managed to keep in him after the things he'd done. That would be rock-bottom. Betraying Peter would be just as bad as reliving that fateful day on the air strip. In Neal's perspective, letting down Peter, or worse lying to his face would degrade his character to the lowest possible level. He was already far beneath the others, he'd stolen, lied, cheated, and reaped the rewards, things he might never repent for, but he tried to do some right. He'd never truly lied to Peter, in fact his talent for twisting words was a sort of privilege few attained. Misleads were a gift, and his word was the last truly honest part of himself to give. Violating that kind of promise was despicable. He had honor, and part of that was the unspoken faith that Peter had in him. Not always trust, but in Peter's own words, faith that he was doing it for the right reason. Protecting Peter was the right thing to do. He couldn't imagine anything else happening to his partner, God, he'd been in a car crash, he could've died! And there was no way he would put El through that kind of loss, it wasn't something he would wish on his worst enemy. He knew that kind of pain, and to bring Peter in on something so dangerous would be nothing short of selfish. He may seek challenges, excitement, and occasionally danger, but he'd never stolen for the sake of material pleasures. Sure they were nice, and he'd become accustomed to the good life, but he'd always taken from the rich, the grotesquely wealthy few that wouldn't miss it, that assaulted the commonplace.

No, he couldn't endanger Peter, or El, or anyone he cared about for his own burning need to take down those that had destroyed his own family. So he had to lie to Peter. Resigning himself to the fact after that was surprisingly easy after accomplish the monumental task of understanding the 'why'. He would do it, but he couldn't shake the dirty sensation that he was stabbing Peter in the back when he was already down. Neal built his walls up higher, closing his emotions in like he was so accustomed to. If he put layer upon layer into place, it wouldn't really be him that was lying to Peter, it would be just another alias. A nameless person that never had or will exist could fill his shoes for just a moment, because Neal himself might just crack. Peter had that effect sometimes, when he could see right through the sleight of hand, the front, and Neal couldn't risk that kind of mistake anymore. He steeled himself, to be the person his partner expected, consultant for the FBI, slippery con-man and forger, slick and quick witted. Taking his last breath as the real Neal Caffrey, he felt disgust and remorse churning his insides. He quelled the feelings, and contented himself with watching the show, after all, he was no longer taking part in it. Neal walked into the quiet hospital room as a different man.

He had the same step, the same smile, and the same silver-tongue, but he was no longer Neal Caffrey. He would never be Neal Caffrey as long as Peter was a mark.


Just tried to get this in before the episode tonight! o.O I'm so excited, Tuesdays are the best! Please tell me whatcha thought, and I'll take requests for other scenes (before I try anything too AU)! Thanks!

*update was just fixing my paragraphs and a couple typos... sorry about the really long paragraph, I'm usually not that messy, I just wrote this one really quickly. XD Thanx for the reviews guys!