Disclaimer: If you recognize it then I don't own it.
Pairing: Cas/Dean
At first Dean thinks he's dreaming or maybe hallucinating because why else would he be hearing a voice when no one was there. But as he looked around, tried focusing on it, he began to recognize the tone. The uniqueness of the voice that only one in existence could possibly possess.
Cas.
The rough quality was slightly lessened and the words absolutely clear. Each of them directed towards Dean and filled with so much emotion that the hunter staggered. Could feel each of them touching his very soul.
Dean. I'm sorry that we have placed this burden on you. That I cannot be straightforward with you about what is happening.
Green eyes blinked. The words…they didn't fit with what was happening now. Dean looked around again, but there was nothing. Only darkness. The only sounds were his own breathing, movements and Castiel's voice.
Forgive me. I hope some day you will be able to forgive me for this. For letting your brother out. I know how hard you have fought for him. How precious he is to you. But they are orders and not following them is too high a price.
He knew what that was from, but not why he was hearing them. Why something that happened years ago was being mentioned.
Dean. I'm falling. I must find my Father. My brother walks the Earth once more and I can't let him destroy my Father's creations. I can't let him destroy you. Please take care of yourself. Watch after your brother.
Prayers. These were like…prayers. The kind that Dean often found himself sending to Cas. Sometimes asking for help, telling him mundane things about his day but most of the time he just spoke. Talked like Cas was in the room with him and they were chatting.
We're coming. I'm not letting you face this alone. I never should have let you leave without climbing into the car with you. If it means I die today then I can accept it. But I will not let you die alone. I will not make you face our brothers alone. You are worth dying for.
Something burned the backs of his eyes and Dean rubbed furiously at his face. Wanting to cover it up even though he was alone.
I hope you are at peace. That your retirement is offering you some relief and a chance at happiness once more. I almost ruined it for you. You were right there, on the lawn bagging leaves and I needed your help. Almost allowed you to see me. To beg for your help. But I can't do that to you. Can't take you away from what is surely happiness. Your "apple pie life" Sam made you promise to live should he fail.
I'm sorry I can't stop myself from visiting you. From watching you sleeping on the couch. At your new job. When you're with new friends or even in the backyard cooking. No matter where I am I always feel this undeniable pull towards you. As though you are gravity. The bond I formed years ago is still strong and very much unbreakable.
Dean…this feels wrong. A deal with a demon. I know it can't end well. But you deserve happiness and my family deserves freewill. A chance to decide for themselves. This should help. Crowley's plan should offer the smallest number of casualties. Your sacrifices cannot be in vain.
Dean leaned against a wall he'd stumbled onto when trying to find Cas or a way out. Sliding down he rested his forehead on his knees, wishing both for Cas to continue and for him to stop. Because he knew how this ends. What happens and all he wants to do is go back in time. To beg Cas to stay. To prevent the angel from going back to Heaven to play Sheriff because it all goes to Hell anyway.
I keep failing you, don't I? Lately it seems all I am capable of doing. Sam's soul is still in Hell. Still trapped with my brothers and I know you'll find a way to get it. To put his soul back into his body even though it won't end well. You'll do anything for those you love. For your sake I hope I'm wrong. That Sam will be fine. Because I know it would break you and that would break me.
"Cas you stupid angel." it's muttered and Dean wants to shake the angel. But all he can do is listen to Castiel's descent into the clusterfuck that still seemed to be snowballing on them. "I'm always right there. Why can't you just talk to me?"
I will never know how an angel as broken as me could ever deserve your loyalty. Your unwavering faith. That you could ever care for me. But you keep standing against your family for me. Justifying my actions and it's so painful to watch. To know the truth of it and how I know you'll react. But it's too late. I'm too far in and if I fail now we'll all die. I can't back down from this path.
After that the 'prayers' were shorter. Simple sentences, little streams of thought and all of them directed towards Dean in some way.
I'm not sure who you are but I keep dreaming of you.
I wish I knew your name; something to put to the face I see every time I close my eyes.
Something is missing and I know it's you. You're the answer to all of these questions.
For some reason I've taken to thinking of you as Freckles because of all the things I see that flash through my mind it is your face that is the clearest. I must have spent so much time with you because I swear I could count those freckles easily.
I have this feeling we're going to meet again and that you can help me. I know I don't belong here and this fake marriage is temporary. Where are you?
This will work Dean. I'm so sorry I broke Sam; I'll never be able to ask for your forgiveness for this. I hope you know I never meant harm.
Dean…Dean where are you? Where am I?
We're going to make it through this and then I'll leave. You deserve better.
Please stay safe. I'll lead them away from you. Dean…I'm so sorry you don't deserve to be trapped here with nothing but monsters.
Your prayers are a comfort and I will never be able to thank you for the strength they give me. Every day I listen to them.
Turn back. You don't need a broken angel.
Forgive me, Dean. I have no intention of going back with you. I belong here with the other monsters. Go back to Sam and find someone who isn't going to destroy you.
I love you. I'm sorry that I tricked you but you need to be safe. I have much to atone for.
I need you too and I'm sorry I have caused you so much pain. That I have ever raised my hand against you in violence. There will never be an excuse for that.
I failed you again. And you're right. I'm always sorry. Now I have managed to destroy the rest of Heaven and I cannot protect your brother. I cannot keep you safe anymore. But I will find you one last time because I'm selfish. I've always been selfish when it comes to you. For that I am also sorry as I am sure that flaw has caused you pain more times than even I know.
Then it stopped. Castiel's prayers cut off and Dean could feel the tears trailing down his cheeks. The pain and loss filling him. Dean knew that the last one was the most recent for the angels had fallen a little over a week ago.
Somehow he'd heard Castiel's prayers. An angel had prayed to him. To Dean Winchester. A broken man who destroyed most everything he touched and who had tortured souls in Hell for a decade.
A warmth swept by him in the darkness and he turned toward it, "What was that?" his voice cracked and he squeezed his fist, fingers tightening around his jeans and green eyes tightly shut. They were closed mostly in the hope of preventing more tears from falling because Dean knew they were coming. He'd heard honest pain and regret, so much emotion, in his angel's voice. And could feel the emotions behind the words and the love.
"Prayer is a sign of faith." the words were so familiar and Dean felt a twinge in his heart. His eyes snapped open searching the darkness but seeing nothing. "An angel has never put such faith in a human before. You have been his sole focus since he pulled you from Hell. Every single moment of his existence."
The lights never came on and Dean could not see the speaker's face. But he felt the power. Knew it was divine.
"Why?"
"It seemed only right that you should hear some of Castiel's prayers as he has heard all of yours." it was gentle.
"Some? There's more?"
A soft chuckle came out the darkness, "Castiel prayed to you every day. Spoke to you most moments of his existence. Even when he didn't remember your name." a sigh followed, "Please don't waste this gift. Castiel believed you would never hear his words but he hoped you would feel the care behind them. The promise of safety."
And then the power was gone and Dean was alone once more. He closed his eyes again and struggled to calm his breathing. To calm his racing heart and mind. When he opened them he was back in his room, in the bunker, while the dark room was gone.
Footsteps pounded down the hallway and he watched as his door was flung open. Sam looked so much more healthy and his face was alive with emotion. "Dean." it was breathless and Dean found himself taking a step forward. Worried something had happened. "Cas. He's here."
He waited two beats and was moving past his brother, down the hall and towards the main room. Watched as Castiel's head jerked up and blue eyes stared at him. Saw them sweep over his body. Taking in everything. Memorizing it if the last prayer he'd heard was anything to go by.
His angel's clothes were dirty as was his skin. Hair wild. And Dean's mind was flashing back to Purgatory because the Cas before him looked close to the dirty angel he'd found by the river.
And like that same moment he was closing the distance and jerking Cas into a hug. Arms tight around him, face pressed into his neck and this time Castiel's arms came up to pull him close. Returning the hug with equal desperation.
"Cas." he knew his voice wasn't strong. And he didn't care. The angel before him…now human, had prayed to him every day. Had unwavering faith in him. And loved him. "Cas. I love you. Stay. Please stay."
"Dean." it was the start of a protest but he wouldn't listen.
"I heard you." it was soft and just the two of them. An almost quiet confession, "Cas. You prayed to me."
Blue eyes were wide and Dean could see the panic in them. "You heard?"
"Yeah. But I'm here Cas. I'm not going anywhere." he paused. "And I'm sorry because I have failed you too." and there was another protest on Castiel's lips but Dean wasn't done. "You will always have a home here. Just…please stay. Don't leave me again."
A step forward and Cas was kissing him. Warm, careful and with a promise. He wouldn't be leaving again.
