A/N: This is the very worst thing I have ever written! I have never tried my hand in the Crack!genre. It was... different. Anyway, this is written for the: Painfully Bad Competition. And it is. The very thing which inspired me, was myself. Again. "Draco Malfoy and Narcissa are in a happy relationship until Narcissa suddenly runs off with Luna Lovegood. Draco, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Lucius and a brief, unhappy affair with Seamus, then follows the wise advice of Lily and finds true love with Harry Potter." You can find it under HP Quiz in my profile.
WARNINGS: Incest, Slash, Crack!, HP/DM, SF/DM, NM/DM, NM/LL, LM/DM. Yeah.
Summary: Draco's heart is broken after Narcissa left him for Luna. Desperately he tries to forget all about her, and has sex with Lucius. After an affair with Seamus, he finally finds Harry. WARNINGS: Incest, Slash, Crack!fic, Harry/Draco, Seamus/Draco, Narcissa/Draco, Narcissa/Luna, Lucius/Draco. By DW.
Disclaimer: Erm, it's not mine. I don't think J.K. is mad enough to make something like this...
My hand crept up her thigh, but she turned away, as she had the past few weeks. "Don't you love me anymore?" I asked, my voice trembling.
"Oh, of course I do, Draco. How could I not love you? I just don't feel too well at the moment. I'm sure you understand."
I nodded, but I couldn't feel anything but let-down. "Of course I do, Mother. I'll leave you alone, then. After all, I need to prepare for tomorrow, to take the train to Scotland."
She gave me a weak smile, and I departed to my rooms. God, my heart ached with every step I took to my room. She hadn't touched me since last month, and I wondered if something was the matter. Not that I would ever understand women.
I let myself fall down on the bed, and I curled up in a foetus position. Tomorrow we would be apart. Maybe that's why she was so down. Yeah, that was probably it. After a while, I fell in a restless sleep.
I awoke the next morning, and I stretched languidly. My morning wood was lying against my stomach, and I contemplated finishing myself off, before I saw a letter lying on my stand. I grinned, and leaned over, smelling her scent, the scent that drove me crazy.
I opened it.
Dear Draco,
I can't contain it any longer. I cannot watch to see your heartbroken look whenever I decline your touches and your advances. I cannot stand to live with the lie I'm currently living with. It eats me up. I think it's safe to say what has been going on right now.
You see, two months back, I've fallen head over heels in love. It pains me to say, but you stopped captivating me. You'll always hold a dear place in my heart, but for the moment, someone has captured it. Someone truly extraordinary, someone, funny, someone smart, intelligent, and adventurous. You see, I just couldn't resist the calls of the Wrackspurts anymore. They called me to her. And the adventure to seek for the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks lured me her way. We've truly found each other, Draco, and I'm sorry to say that I want to start a new life with her. So I ran away. I truly wanted to spend my life with you, but I've fallen in love, and I found true love and peace with her. So, goodbye, Draco, and I hope we'll meet again someday.
With love,
Narcissa.
My eyes started to water. The letter fell to the floor, forgotten, just like my erection. "Oh, God," I sobbed, before I curled right back in the foetal position.
Someone knocked on my door. "Go away!" I yelled as loud as I could, hoping I could grief for my torn heart. God, it hurt. And I just wanted to be left alone.
"Draco, are you all right?"
Great. Now my father was here. "I'm fine, Father. I was just about ready to get out of bed." I wasn't, but he didn't need to know that. A sob escaped me, though, as much as I tried to stifle it.
"No, you're not," he said, and I knew he was frowning. "Draco, what's the matter? You know you can tell me everything." Was that a leer?
"Just… Mum left me. She left me for Loony Lovegood. Why does it hurt so much?"
I looked up, and his sympathetic eyes were just so comfortable. He sat down on my bed, rubbing circles on my hip, cooing, "It's all right to cry. It isn't the end of the world, and I'm sure you'll find someone better." His hand became more intimate, and his eyes had darkened. I noticed my own interest, and accepted his hand as it made its way under the covers and on my skin. His own hand burned my ribs with its temperature, and I moaned, reawakening my erection. This would make me forget all about Narcissa.
The train sped past London, and I looked out at the terrain. Oh, lovely, two cows were mating. Didn't they have any decency? I shuffled in my seat, and winced. Damn, it was sensitive still. I stretched and yawned. What to do… Pester Potter and his friends again? The idea sounded appealing, but something stopped me. Catch up on some sleep? Lucius sure tired me out… Now, that was a good idea. I found a comfortable spot and closed my eyes. This was all right. Just… relax. Soon I was drifting off, and nearly was asleep, until I heard the door sliding open. I opened my eyes, annoyed. Who dares to interrupt my sleep?
When I saw who it was, I sighed. "What'd do you want? Shouldn't you be with the other Gryffindorks?"
He seemed annoyed that I addressed him as such, but I honestly couldn't care less. I had to deal with my own problems.
"Malfoy, I just wondered if we could date."
Date? I knew the thing with my father was a one-off, albeit a hot one, just a pity fuck. But a Gryffindor? Wait, back-paddle! That was an awesome idea! I could torment Potter better this way. "Truly, Finnigan? Why do you think I would date the likes of you?"
He smirked. And truly, Griffindors couldn't pull that off at all. "'Cause I'm well hung."
"I'll be the judge of that."
The other teen shrugged, fumbled with the buttons, before he lowered his trousers and underwear. My eyes widened a bit. He was well hung. "You can button up. So, what is it you want."
He shrugged again. "You're pretty. And I want sex. Does it have to involve anything else?"
I raised a brow. "As long as we meet in your pitiful dormitory. You'll be lynched at Slytherin if they see you."
"I can do that. So when will we meet?"
I thought about it. "Tomorrow evening?"
He nodded. "I'll send you an owl with the password and time." He turned around and departed.
I wondered how long we would last.
And so we decided to meet at eight PM in his common room. A snake in a lion's den. I think I've lost my mind. Or maybe my hormones are acting up. I wouldn't know. I've gotten the password, and entered on the stroke of eight. No reason to let your date wait. I looked around as I stepped inside. All the red was nearly overwhelming. Every head turned my way, and I smirked. Finnigan was sitting next to Potter, who seemed to do his best not looking at me. I snorted. Malfoys wouldn't be ignored. But before a snide comment crossed my lips, the Irish teen stood up.
"Ah, Draco. You're here."
I frowned. He didn't have the right to call me Draco. Just because he wanted sex didn't mean that we would be friends. "Finnigan."
He walked towards me, grabbed my arm lightly, before he tugged me upstairs. "Eager, are we, Finnigan?"
"Shut up, Malfoy. We aren't here to chat each other up."
I raised my brows. "That's logic I appreciate."
I swear the bastard did it on purpose. I crushed the toast in my hand, glaring bloody murder at the Gryffindor, who was batting his eyelashes at me. He was an embarrassment. The only reason I put up with him was his dick. Fuck! Ever since we slept together he thought it would be fun to embarrass me. Well, I wasn't Draco Malfoy for nothing. I smirked at him, and his grin faltered. Let him know I still had the upper hand in this. Pulling out some parchment, a quill and some ink, I sealed his doom.
As we walked to our destination, Potions, I reached out for his hand, so he gripped the little paper. I smirked, before I walked passed him, brushing his shoulder as I did so. He needed me, not the other way around. But it pained me, in a way, knowing a steady relationship wasn't something for me. After all, Narcissa had walked away from me. A lump formed in my throat at the thought of her, her soft, blonde hair, the way she smelled, the way she responded… A shiver ran down my spine, but I just walked on and into the classroom. It wouldn't do to cry over spilt milk.
I was lying in my bed, alone. After all, the note I gave to Finnigan clearly stated 'No sex tonight.' I did the very worst I could do to a horny teenager. I've gotten reacquainted with my right hand again. It would do. I slipped into sleep, dreaming.
'Draco,' a woman murmured, and I opened my eyes, slowly sitting up as I noticed I sat in large field. I turned my head, searching for that voice again. Nobody appeared.
'Hello? Who are you? Can I see you?' I asked, wanting to know who was talking to me.
Shimmering in front of me alerted me that something was trying to show itself. A beautiful woman with red hair and green eyes appeared in front of me, floating gently. I blinked. Those eyes looked horribly familiar. 'Who are you?' I asked cautiously.
The woman inclined her head. 'I'm Lily Potter. Harry's mother. Draco, I didn't come to you for nothing. There's something you need to realise, before it's too late.'
My eyes widened in alarm. 'Did I do something? I mean, I know I've been horrible to him these years, but that's only because he didn't accept my hand! I was just jealous. All I wanted was for him to be my friend.'
The woman, Lily, smiled, apparently not angered, disgusted or mad at him. 'I know what happened. Don't worry. But it's something else entirely. Please, take my hand, and we'll look at several scenes. I'll explain everything afterwards.'
I stood up. This woman was quite likeable. I took her hand, as she instructed, and we disappeared, gently landing in the Great Hall. I looked around. Everybody looked the same to me, and I realised we went back in time, on the first day of school. 'Could you explain? I don't know what you want me to see.'
She smiled again. 'Look at Harry. This is all about him. Just look at him a bit longer than you normally would.'
I did, and the longer I did so, the more I saw the longing look appear on his face. I frowned. What had any of this to do with me? Then I followed his line of sight, and the breath hitched in my throat. He was looking straight at me! I looked at the woman, shocked, and saw her knowing nod.
She held out her hand, and I grabbed it immediately. The next scene wasn't that hard to remember, as it was quite recent. I walked into the Gryffindor common room. Potter's head snapped up, before he looked away with a blush. I blinked. I never saw that.
As she took me in several of these memories, I noticed Potter looking at me more often, the jealousy coming to his eyes when he saw me with his roommate, and the relief whenever Finnigan and I fought.
Eventually we landed back in the field. 'You said you'd explain.'
Lily nodded. 'Please, sit down.'
I did as I was told, watching her, as she gently floated above the grass, like a ghost, but not quite. She sighed. 'Harry's madly in love with you, and it is my job to make you see it, as a mother. I know your heart still aches, but give him a chance. You're unhappy with Seamus Finnigan anyway. It's my advice to you. I'm fairly certain you'll find happiness with him. I'll leave you alone to think about that.'
She started to fade away, and I frowned. 'Will I see you again?'
The woman just smiled, before she faded entirely, leaving me alone. I brought my knees up to my chest, worrying my bottom lip. I've never looked at him that way, even though he's quite handsome in his own way. Sighing, I stretched my legs, and put my hands behind my head, lowering myself to the ground, watching the blue sky. I might as well, it was my dream after all. But did dreams feel so real? Would I forget all about it when I would wake up? Fear grabbed at my heart. I didn't want that. I wanted to remember this. I wanted to see for myself if Potter looked at me that way. Because if that was the way… Well, maybe I could like him. Just maybe…
I stretched, yawning, trying to remember what I've been dreaming of. I shot up straight, eyes widening. I gathered my clothes, got dressed, and hurried to the Great Hall. I had to see with my own eyes how he looked at me. And I had a Gryffindor to dump. He was grating on my nerves anyway. Good lay, but rotten personality. Not that he needed one, but to make fun of me… That was just pushing my limits.
I slowed my steps down, not wanting to look flustered, or to be seen floundering through the doors. That would just be embarrassing. I casually walked through the doors, let my gaze slide to the Gryffindor side of the room, all under the cover of looking at Finnigan, of course, and found the black haired teen. I slid my gaze back, but not before catching the red tinge on his cheeks. I nearly smirked, but held myself in check. Sliding in my seat, I made light conversation with my fellow Slytherins, occasionally glancing at Potter, but without appearing to. The post arrived, my best cover yet. I opened up the Prophet, and appeared to read, but in reality I was peering over the edge, watching the Gryffindor who caught my attention.
He watched me, and every time I turned a page, he looked away, as if afraid to be caught. I smirked behind the paper. If only he knew… But it confirmed many things. Finnigan was making faces at me still, and Potter scowled. It was a curious thing, knowing someone was jealous. Somebody actually wanted me. My breath hitched, and my eyes widened a bit. Could it be that I could build a relationship with Potter…?
The thought wouldn't leave me for the rest of the day, and it circled around and around in my head, so much even that I couldn't even concentrate on my Potions homework. Such a thing never happened before. Dumping Finnigan was easy. He knew it wouldn't last, and I knew as much, too. No hard feelings. I grinned as I imagined Harry's expression tomorrow. I blinked. Harry? Shrugging, I pushed my homework away. Maybe sleeping would help…
I woke up, panting. Merlin, that was the most vivid dream I ever had. Groaning, I fell back and cast Tempus. 6:40. Great. Spelling the mess away, I stretched and packed my stuff, before heading up to the Hall.
The lustful look I received nearly blew me away. Merlin, news sure travelled fast at Gryffindor. But only one look counted, and that look wasn't there yet. In fact, neither the Weasel nor the Muggle-Born were there yet. I smirked. Good, that way I got to see him looking at me. And I wouldn't avoid his gaze. Playing time was over. At least, somewhat.
My gaze was fixed on his face when I saw him walking in, and a second later he looked straight at me. I met him head-on, letting him know that I knew he was interested. I gave him one of my rare smiles, before I looked away, answering Pansy's question. Let the fun begin.
And so the game continued for about a week. Until something in me snapped. It all happened on a Saturday. Harry and I were stealing looks at each other, trying not to alert the other. It was a fun but pointless game. Just as I looked away, someone slid in next to Harry. I looked back up, not caring that he met my gaze. He smiled triumphantly, before he noted someone had joined him. He looked to his left, and saw Ginny hanging on to his arm. I narrowed my eyes, watching the interaction. A near-growl escaped my throat, as I saw the red-headed bint hanging on to my Harry, clearly hitting on him.
I stood up, not that she noticed, but most of the Gryffindors did. I grinned grimly.
The Gryffindors followed the progression. Until Malfoy pushed his seat away and stood up. And they knew shit was going down when Malfoy did that. So they braced themselves for the attack, breaths indrawn.
I walked precise, sure steps, the most efficient way to reach the Gryffindor table without seeming to hurry. Oh, how looks could be deceiving. "Potter. Weaslette," I said in my cool, most reserved voice. Nearly the entire Gryffindor table winced, but the girl clearly didn't get it. She frowned. "Malfoy, what do you want? You have nothing to do here."
I smirked, my lips curling up in the coldest one I could muster. "Oh, but I most certainly have something here to 'do'. And I would appreciate it if you finally let go of Potter." My eyes flashed dangerously, and I knew it.
"Why?" she asked, tossing her hair in the most arrogant, annoying manner. "It's not like he minds it, is it, Harry?"
"I mind it," I hissed. "He's mine, so kindly remove your hands before I hex them off."
She narrowed her eyes, but finally let go. Harry's appreciating look made me smile internally. "Now, go away. I want to sit next to him."
Her mouth opened and closed, as if I just cast a silencing spell. Eventually she huffed. "Fine. Have it your way." She stood up, and left the Hall, probably to bawl her eyes out.
I took her vacated seat, not once looking up when I saw Harry looking at me with his jaw hanging open. "Harry, you can close your mouth. We wouldn't want to catch flies with it."
He snapped his jaw shut, and I grinned. "Better."
And from that moment on he was my boyfriend. And we lived happily ever after.
A/N: The end!
