Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to anything
Lost Time
Morgan walked into the BAU….. It had been a long week and he was tired. He glanced over into the bull pen to where his desk used to be. He tried to stop himself doing that every day as it only reminded him of the agent who used to sit at the desk next to him. There were two new agents there now….. Stuart Farrell and Eva Jackson. They were part of his team. The team bore little resemblance to what it was four years ago. Only he and Garcia were left. Rossi had retired, Hotch got his promotion, Reid's brain was being used elsewhere in the Bureau and Emily, well she was gone too. Morgan often wished he hadn't accepted the position of Unit Chief and had moved on himself…..it never felt the same as back then, and there were too many memories.
Morgan sat in his office, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. His mobile phone rang and he considered not answering it, fearing it was another case. When he saw the name 'Josh Mason' on his screen however, he quickly picked up.
"Mason?"
"Hey Morgan, how you doing?"
"Overworked and underpaid. What's new?"
"I thought you'd want to know straight away…..we got Doyle."
"Really? Where is he?"
"In the morgue Morgan. Shoot out with the local cops. 15 bullets in his chest."
"Good…..so what now?"
"Case closed. He's dead. It's over."
"What about Prentiss?"
"You'll have to speak with Ramirez about that. You know that side's nothing to do with me."
"Of course. Well thanks for letting me know."
"No problem. Take care Morgan."
Josh Mason had been the lead agent working with Interpol and the Russian authorities trying to locate Doyle after he went on the run. Morgan had kept in contact with him over the years…..at first every day and then less and less over time as hope ran out.
He dialled Ramirez immediately.
"Hello?" The agent on the other end of the phone said.
"Hi. It's Derek Morgan."
"Oh Derek. I'm guessing you've heard about Doyle already then?"
"Just now….what's happening now? With Emily I mean."
"C'mon man, you know I can't tell you anything."
"Is she ok? Can you at least tell me that?"
"Morgan, please don't push me on this. I know this must be frustrating for you but….."
Morgan didn't let him finish…"But he's dead now, he can't hurt her now right?"
"Yes….look all can say is that she knows he's dead. What happens next is up to her."
Morgan knew he was pushing it, but he couldn't help himself. Hearing this news just made him remember everything he tried to forget every day…
4 years earlier…..
"Hotch, she needs protection man. Doyle is dangerous. She can't stay on her own but she won't listen!" Morgan was almost shouting at his boss.
"Morgan, I am here you know. You can speak to me!" Emily spat at him angrily.
"I've tried that Emily, but you won't listen to me. There's no way you should be at home on your own!"
"I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself!"
"That's not the point Emily!"
"Stop speaking to me like I'm a child Morgan. I'm not a damsel in distress that you need to protect!"
Morgan took a deep breath, the anger rising in him, "Jesus Christ you're so god damn stubborn."
Emily went to answer him back, but Hotch quickly stepped in, "Ok that's enough, the whole building can hear you two! This isn't getting us anywhere….. Prentiss, Morgan is right, you shouldn't be on your own. Let Morgan stay with you just until we know you're safe."
"But…." She went to answer him back.
"Two guns are better than one Emily." Rossi added.
She looked at the three men who were all looking at her like a father looks at his disobedient child. She knew they were right but hated backing down to them…"Whatever!" and she turned and stormed out of the room.
Rossi turned and smirked at Morgan…."You sure you know what you're letting yourself in for?"
Morgan let out a little laugh, "She'll calm down…..in a couple of months may be."
Morgan went back to his desk. Emily was sat at hers, head in paperwork. He knew he was pushing it but they needed to sort what they were going to do…."I think you should stop at mine you know? He's less likely to find you there."
She just shrugged her shoulders. He knew she was sulking at having to give in, so he didn't say anything else hoping she would calm down a little. The rest of the morning was very quiet in the bull pen. They didn't say a word to each other. Emily disappeared just before lunch time and came back after a short while and stood by his desk….."Morgan?" she said quietly.
"Yes Emily" he replied without looking up at her.
She pushed a chicken club sandwich on rye bread - his favourite – and a steaming cup of coffee under his nose….."Sorry for being such an ass Derek. I'm just….."
He looked up at her and gave a small smile, "Its ok. I know….. Thanks….. For this" he said pointing at the sandwich.
"So, do you think your bachelor pad will cope with a female of the species moving in for a while?"
Morgan just laughed at her.
The first night felt weird, but she was so exhausted, the minute her head hit the pillow in Morgan's spare bed, she fell asleep. She hadn't slept properly in days. Having him there made her feel safe. The next day they were off. She was so tired, she slept in late. When she finally woke up she jumped out of bed, knowing she had so much to do. She threw some jeans and a t-shirt on and went to Morgan's kitchen.
"Morning sleepy head." He said with a grin.
"Morning. How can you be so cheery in the mornings Morgan?"
"Dunno." He said shrugging his shoulders….."Always have been"
"Well I better be going."
"Where to? You haven't had breakfast yet."
"I need to speak with my old boss about this mess."
"Can't you give yourself a break?"
"No, not really. This isn't going away Derek."
"I know. Will you let me help? I can come with you."
"Derek, that's really kind of you, but there's nothing you can do. Apart from this of course. I'll be with my old team. I'll be ok."
"Ok, but promise me something?"
"Go on."
"Firstly, please don't take any stupid risks. Secondly, if there is anything I can do, don't be proud to ask and thirdly, you'll give yourself a couple of hours off tonight and let me get take out for us or something."
Emily smiled at him…. "Ok. I promise. I'll see you tonight."
That night, to his amazement, she actually stuck to her promise. As he said he would he got take out and some beers. He managed to take her mind off everything going on, or at least he thought he did until he caught the look on her face as he returned from the bathroom. He just caught her wipe a tear away from her cheek. As he walked back into the room she composed herself and put the 'strong and coping' mask back on.
As he walked past her to sit on the sofa next to her he squeezed her shoulder and said "Hey, how you coping…..honestly?"
When he touched her she felt a shiver through her body, but a good one. One that made her feel safe. One that made her want to break down right there and then and tell him just how scared she really was. She shook her head and turned away from him….."Derek…..I can't…"
He heard her voice quiver. He shifted himself closer to her, but only slowly, watching her reaction closely as he did, not wanting to push it and scare her off. She didn't protest, so he put his arms around her.
At first she did not move, taking in the warmth of his body on hers. Then she turned her face to meet his and kissed him. He was surprised, but kissed her back. As he did he felt the slight taste of salt water as her tears ran down her face. He pulled away from her, but only by a couple of inches…"Emily, I don't want you to do this for the wrong reasons."
"Derek, right now I need this….I need you….please"
He didn't need anymore encouragement. He felt her hands creep under his shirt and gently stroke every inch of his chest. She pulled the shirt over his head and moved up to kiss him deeply on the mouth. As she did he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom….
Afterwards she lay sound asleep in his arms. He was still wide awake wandering why this was the first time this had ever happened…..He had never felt so close to anyone. He thought back to their lovemaking. It had been just that he thought – it wasn't frantic or desperate. It had been sweet and they had both taken their time savouring every inch of each other.
In the morning Morgan awoke as Emily shifted in his arms. She lifted her head off his chest and gave a very small and tired smile… "Morning." She whispered to him.
"Morning Emily."
He had worried this moment would be awkward and dreaded her scurrying away and regretting it, but it didn't feel that way at all. He became very aware of their nakedness… their bodies hadn't parted all night and it felt like it fit just right.
They were both back to work that day and were stood in the bullpen with Rossi and Hotch speaking about an old case that was due in court soon. A voice made them all turn suddenly.
"Emily!" It was her old boss, Clyde.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, looking surprised to see him.
"There's been some developments. You have come with me now."
"Why?"
"You know what we talked about yesterday? Well it's got to happen now."
"Right now?"
"Yes this second. Flight leaves in an hour. We've got no time."
"Prentiss, what's he talking about?" Hotch asked
Emily looked at her Clyde, not knowing what to say.
"She has to go away for a while. I can't say anymore than that." Clyde told Hotch.
"What do you mean, away?" Morgan interrupted.
Clyde ignored him…."Emily, I mean it. We have to go… now."
"But I need to say goodbye…."
"No time" and he shook his head at her.
She looked to the three men in front of her…..tears starting to well…"Where are Reid and Garcia?"
"They went out to get some lunch." Rossi told her.
"I need more time." She pleaded to her boss.
"No. This is not negotiable."
Morgan took at step toward Clyde not liking the way he was ordering her about…."Look if she doesn't want to go, you can't make her right?"
Clyde stared Morgan in the eye…."Look, no disrespect, but you have no idea what you are talking about."
"Ok ok…" Emily said sensing this was going to end badly….."I'm coming."
She turned to her three friends…."I'm sorry I can't explain right now, but I do have to go. Hopefully I'll see you real soon."
"Hopefully? But where….." Morgan asked but stopped mid sentence as she shook her head and he knew he was getting no answers.
Emily walked over to Rossi and gave him a small peck on the cheek and a hug….."Take care Emily." Rossi said.
"Please tell Reid and Garcia I'm so so sorry I didn't see them before I left."
Rossi nodded.
She then stood in front of Hotch who really didn't know how to handle this situation. All he could think was back to Hayley. "Bye Hotch…." And she touched his arm.
She then moved to stand in front of Morgan who was looking down at the floor with a pained expression. She had tears streaming down her face. She took him into a hug and kissed him on the cheek. She then moved her mouth close to his ear and whispered, "I want you to know that last night meant the world to me. You are a wonderful man and I l…"
Her sentence was broken as he felt her body leaving his. She was being pulled away…"That's it Emily time up."
Morgan had hold of her hands for as long as he could. He looked into her eyes and as their hands separated she mouthed 'I'm sorry' to him….that was the last time he saw her.
He had played that moment over and over in his mind, willing her to finish that sentence. The team had tried to get answers, but they never came and secretly they had all given up hope of ever seeing her again as the time passed and Doyle remained at large. All they knew was that she was in witness protection and they all knew the system well enough to know they would probably never get any answers.
A few days later….
Emily stood in front of Quantico. She stood and stared for a while. She never thought she would be back here. She wandered if she was doing the right thing coming back. Had too much time passed? But she really had no choice.
She walked out of the elevator and saw the doors to the bullpen in front of her. It really hadn't changed at all. She took a few deep breaths and opened the glass doors looking straight over to her old desk. Sat there were two unfamiliar faces. She walked over to them and said, "Excuse me, where is Agent Morgan?"
"Oh, he's up there." And the male agent pointed up to Hotch's old office….. "Do you want me to let him know you're here? Is he expecting you?"
"No it's fine. I'll just go up. Thanks."
She slowly walked up the stairs and along the platform to the door which was open. Her hands were shaking as she gave a little knock.
"Come in" she heard him say. As she walked in she could see he hadn't looked up to see who it was.
"Hey." She said softly.
Morgan's eyes shot up at her. His eyes widened as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing…. "Emily? What….?"
"I'm sorry I didn't call ahead. I just didn't know what to say. I guess I thought I would when I got here."
Morgan stood up and moved around to stand in front of her. "I heard about Doyle, but I didn't know if you'd come back. No one would tell me anything." There was nothing else he could do other than take her into a hug. He needed to know she was real.
He was hugging her so tightly she could barely breathe, but it felt good…."Derek, it's really good to see you." and she kissed him on his cheek just as she had the day she left.
He pulled out of the embrace….."Sit down. I'll get you a drink." And he quickly walked out of the room. She knew that he probably needed a couple of minutes to compose himself.
He came back in, handed her the drink and sat down next to her. She looked really well he thought. She hadn't changed much. Her hair was a little longer and her fringe had gone. It reminded him of when she first joined the team…..fresh faced.
"Congratulations Derek, on this I mean." Looking around his office.
"Thanks…..so are you ok?"
"I'm good Derek. Especially now Doyle is dead. But I've been fine the last few years. I've been well looked after."
"I tried to find out about what happened to you, but there was just one wall of silence."
"I know and I'm sorry about that, I truly am. That was not how I wanted it to be."
"So tell me all what happened then."
"I will, but there's something I need to tell you first. It's really important."
"What?"
"Before I tell you Derek, I want you to know that I never wanted to keep this from you. I pleaded with Ramirez to find a way of telling you, but he wouldn't budge. I really had no choice."
"What is it Emily? Tell me."
"When I left here that day… I was pregnant….. Obviously I didn't know at the time and I didn't find out for some time after that, but I was…."
Morgan stared at her. Trying to process what she had just said.
"Derek?"
"What are you saying? I mean what happened?"
She looked into his eyes and said gently, "You've got a son Derek. He's three years old."
To be continued….
