AN: Hi there. Here we go again. But this time I've been showering my love upon the beauty that is Arizona and Eliza.
This fic is a one-shot set around 13x22. To be more specific; it contains all of Eliza's thoughts during the elevator scene. I do have a thing for elevator scenes and this was not an exception.
I've borrowed Shonda Rhimes' characters and lines, but the thoughts are all mine. So here goes noting… I hope you'll enjoy reading it.
I've been walking around battling myself… I'm torn… between texting Arizona. Is it too early to text her, enlightening and introducing her to what my mind's been full off the last couple of weeks? It probably is, and I did come off a little too upfront earlier. So maybe I'm just gonna await the night smoothly, being cool and grown-up? But that's totally not the case. My inner teenager is about to burst out anytime soon. And I blame her. Her… the pretty, blonde, blue-eyed woman who's been firing up my libido, my thoughts and my flirting game the last couple of weeks, months, days… who's counting?! Well, I am actually. I'm at least trying to, but she makes it so damn hard to concentrate on anything besides her beauty and brains. She's like the whole package, all things good wrapped in one big present. She makes me crazy… all day, every day. Last night I actually found myself humming while doing the dishes. And I don't hum, it's not something I'd do. It's probably something Arizona would do. I bet she hums while she cleans, when she's strolling in the ails of the grocery store… I bet she hums when she thinks too, at least inside her head. And now I'm humming too, it seems?! It's insane, but it's such a sweet insanity because she's the main reason. I'd happily take on the insanity as long as Arizona's the reason, the price, the holy grail. I feel my cheeks reddening as I think of the gorgeous fetal surgeon. God, like it's not enough I'm thinking like a teenager, I also react and blush like one, too.
It's like time passes by all too slowly. But the time's slow flow could in fact also be caused by what my evening's gonna hold. I can't wait, it's awful. I'm so excited! Jesus, I am an emotional disturbed teenager. As the elevator dings and opens its doors, I step inside and press the button, phone in my hand. I'm not texting her now while my hormones are going out of control, I'll wait and just settle on rereading her texts from this morning. My cheeks are still hot, it's stupid and oh so wonderful. I haven't felt like this in years, well maybe even ever. Arizona takes my world and turns it upside down, and that's not all… she's actually taking my world, spinning it around on her finger and then… then she turns it upside down. I don't even stand a chance. She drives me crazy both with want and with longing, but I guess it's the price I'm gonna pay for having her in my life. Or well… I'd like to be in her life… like permanently, but we haven't really gotten to that part yet. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but for now… I'm looking forward to be with her in all ways possible hence tonight's naked plans.
As I turn around I catch my heart's desire. There she is in all her glory, squeezing her perfect body in between the doors before they close behind her. I tuck my phone into my pocket and give her a smile, a big smile, a very big smile! My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but it's a pain I'm recently becoming to acknowledge as a part of me ever since Arizona came into my life. I can't help all the smiling. I still blame her… and my defenceless heart.
Arizona's eyes shine at first but then the light disappears. She still has a smile lingering in the corner of her mouth, though. I've come to notice all the little things, I've come to love all the little things, but that look right now… it means trouble, I'm sure.
"Oh, I can't get together tonight," she says with a sigh, sticking her hands into the pockets of her lap coat. I can see she's not enjoying having to cancel our plans, I truly can… and her defeated sigh is a valid reason why to think she is actually bummed about having to dump me. But still… I was so set on tonight. I had so many things I'd like to say and do, I had actually planned on wearing the new pair of sexy underwear I got last Monday. But now, now she's bailing, she's backing out because I was too upfront about the naked plans earlier. I spooked her… God, I'm so stupid.
I need to keep it cool, though. She can't see that I'm about to fall apart inside. No, no, she can't. It's not an option, not again.
"Hmm, ok," I say straightening my shoulders and facing the doors. "No big deal."
"I just… I have a patient who's in labour with a baby with CDH, and I'm gonna be here all night. I'm so sorry," she tells me with her sad eyes, those eyes I find myself getting lost in again and again. Those sad eyes, those perfect sad eyes and that mouth, that perfectly shaped mouth with those luscious smooth lips. Stop, Minnick, just stop. Keep it cool, for God's sake. Show her the professional version of yourself, come on, show some understanding, but don't you even dare show her that teenage version thriving on high emotions and the air she breathes. Just don't!
"Of course. I understand. Just…" I say, keeping it real and straight up pro, except… I'm anything but. My heart's pumping and it hurts. I cannot hide my disappointment, I can't. It hurts too much. "I was looking forward to it, is all." Shaking my head almost unnoticeable, I curse myself for actually succumbing to my emotions and throwing them out in the open. Especially when the woman I'm longing for has just cancelled our plans. Maybe this was it? Maybe I took it too far with the naked plans, the texting and excitement? The kissing? Oh my God, the kissing. I'm gonna miss that part sooo much. For crying out loud, get yourself together, Minnick. She's just a girl. She's just another girl who's gotten under your skin… except she's not. She's the only one who's gotten so far under my skin and inside my head and heart in such short amount of time. I can't take it, I need to get off of this stupid elevator. I can feel her behind me… breathing, silently observing me. It doesn't make it any easier…
Then she speaks, allowing the hairs on my neck to rise in unison.
"I look for you… all day."
What? What is she doing, what is she saying? I don't know if I can handle anymore. My nerves are hanging by a thin thread by now, but her voice… that husky but innocent sound… oh my God, it ignites my entire body.
"When I, um, when I turn a corner or I pass by one of the scan rooms. Um, getting on an elevator… I hope that maybe I'll just…" she continues. I've got to take in a deep breath. All these little bits of information, her voice, her breath… it all drives me right back into that insanity I can't seem to get out of. But now the question is… do I really have to get out of it after all?
"…catch a glimpse of you… And when I see you… every time, it makes me catch my breath, just a little," Arizona reveals her thoughts as well as mine. I'm choked but in an enormously good way. Seconds ago I was planning on how to avoid her for the rest of my life, but now she's expressing all these feelings… towards me.
"And my heart speeds up, my palms sweat… Seeing you, talking to you and…" Arizona continues as the speed of my heart escalates but at the same time stops and skips a beat. She's making me do all these kinds of impossible things. I have to close my eyes and process; I have to try to focus on her words. But she makes it so damn hard to because she's saying all those things, all those right things. "…um, touching you. It's all I can think about."
She's voiced all of my thoughts, all of them. She's incredible. She's a mystery. She's the reason why I've been keeping up the good spirit. She makes me… she makes me feel like I can do anything and everything. And she's just being her, that's the beauty of it, really. She does it so well. I want so much to kiss her. I want to tell her how I feel about her, in case she shouldn't have noticed. I want so many things right this instant… well, actually, I just want her as simple as that.
I turn around to face her and the sight meeting my eyes… it's stunning. "It is?" I ask as we lock eyes, and I once again drown in pools of cerulean blue.
"I can't wait for our naked plans…" she tells me, sending vibrations through my entire body. I have to swallow the ball of air and anticipation that's got caught in my throat, to be able to breathe again. She makes it so pretty damn hard to remember doing all those normal things… such as breathing and swallowing.
"But one more night of anticipation doesn't have to be the worst thing?!" Arizona states in her husky voice, and I can't hold it back any more. I have got to kiss her, I need to kiss her, I really just need to touch her… anywhere, really. And her lips are a really good place to start. But as soon as our heads automatically turns and guides our mouths towards each other, she hesitates… It's not because she doesn't want to, I know that now. I can feel her desire burning from where I'm standing. But she's… what? She's playing with me? Really?... and then she's gone, the elevator slowly closes its doors. I catch the smell of her lemon shampoo mixed with the sterile smell of hospital as I'm looking in the direction she headed off to. She's gone, stepped out on the fourth floor, leaving me in the elevator carriage looking like a fool. She's twirling and spinning me around her finger as she does my world, and I think I'm liking it, nuh-uh, I'm actually loving it. My night might not involve those naked plans I've been looking forward to - those naked plans involving the physical presence of the pretty fetal surgeon, but I sure as hell can't keep the picture of her out of my mind now. It's impossible, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
