~Side notes!~
This is a gift for a very special someone who wanted me to so you lovely people how Gash became Gash because he didn't start out as a psycho rapist. Nope he was a nice guy once. Now sit back and enjoy.~
His little cries of pleasure were like commands to my ears, each so similar, but so distint to my ears. With his little body benieth mine I felt so at ease; I only felt that way with him. I needed him more than anyone on spice needed the toxic compounds. He was mine and mine alone.
"Ahaahh! G-Gash! He screamed "M-more!" he begged.
I was happy to oblige, his skin was so soft and fair, the taste of it was exotic. I loved every bit of it, the way his body would melt into my embrace, how the slightest touch would cause his nipples to swell with blood and his little package to become needy. He was perfect in every way and he belonged to me.
He wrapped his frail arms around me and stroked my scars with his soft little hands. He was so adorable, hardly a flaw to be found. I couldn't stand how captivating he was. I loved him, needed him closer. Closer, and-
I awoke screaming his name but there was no answer. The familiar warmth of his body beside mine was gone. I didn't understand why. Then it came back to me, my preasious Cesario was dead.
Tears filled my eyes, and I was glad that no one could see me. They'd laugh, how could they understand my pain? They only person who could was Fang, but I was the reason why he would understand how I felt. I had killed his lover. I couldn't ask for his forgiveness, I had hurt him deeply. Too deeply.
I cried alone. I wanted more than anything, to have my Cesario back. To feel his warmth as he sleeps next to me, hear his angelic voice as he calls me to him, to see him smile at me again, to smell and taste his soft skin under my lips. He was my whole universe, and it had shattered with his untimely death.
I had just picked up the courage to propose to him, but now I will never get that chance. I wanted him to be in my life forever, we would never be apart, but he was gone and I remained with a great gaping hole where my heart should be. I missed him so much. The ring I had made for him a painful reminder of my failure to protect him. The pale blue gems were so much like his eyes, the white crystals his hair and skin, the deep red gem in the center was our love; deep, passionate, and now over.
I looked at it sadly, I wanted to ask him to marry me. I knew his answer alreay. I had taken too long to ask him. I didn't know what I was afraid of, he'd never hurt me or say no to me. I was a coward, and now it was too late.
There was a knock at my door and I slowly walked over to it. I didn't know who was there, so I opened my mouth.
"Who's there?" I asked gruffly.
"Gash, it's Fang." the voice replied.
I opened the door to find him standing there looking at me as if I had a plague. He cautiously held my shoulder.
"Thought you could use some company." he said looking at me "Want to sit down?"
I let him in and closed the door. I didn't know why he was here, he was suffering because of me. Why would he want to help me?
He waited until I sat down and sat beside me with a small sigh. "It's been hard huh? Cesario always did brighten this place."
I nodded quietly "Prettier than all the stars in space Fang, now he's gone."
Fang patted my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault Gash. It was an accedent."
I felt anger well up inside me "It was my fault! I should have kept a closer eye on him. I could have saved him Fang!" I yelled as tears ran down my cheeks again.
"You did what you could Gash."
"I didn't do enough!"
Fang cuffed the back of my head. Normally he wouldn't strike me at all. He was angry.
"You did everything possible Gash! It's not your fault the wound was too deep for Pulse and Lee to close in time! I know you loved him Gash, but it was not your fault he died."
"Then why does it feel like it's my fault?" I asked.
Fang gave me a breif hug "Because you truely loved him. Gash, we don't always agree but we are the last of our squad. The last troopers to be trained be Commander Kennedy, but we have to aid the rest of Blade squad. Gash, they need us to train and direct them. I'll cover for you tomorrow but please, don't let it drag you down. You can call me if you need me."
"Why are you trying to help me?"
"We're bruthers Gash, to us it's much more." he said as he left my room and I was left alone again.
Frustrated, I hit the dent in the wall as new tears fell from my eyes, large and salty. I needed to get away from this pain. Anything just to make it stop.
Looking in my cabinet, I found various spices, two of them were promising. Giggle-dust and Nuetron Pixy. One would give me a sense of ease, the other escasy and numbness. I wanted to be numb, so numb. I also had a bottle of alcohol. Opening a packet of spice I dumped it's contents in my mouth and washed it down with the alcohol; already feeling its effects, a slow tingle as the 'buzz' took over.
Putting the bottle down, I fell back onto my oversized bunk and felt very numb, diconnected. Then I was on fire. The fire was accompanied by sheer blissfullness. It was almost like Cesario was still alive and the time he was possesed by a vampire sith. My hand found the marks on my neck where he bit me and drew my blood into his mouth. The escasy then was unbelievable. But I always felt like that with Cesario. Even looking at his neck was a turn on. Slender, pale, and ticklish. Even now I could remember his smooth pale skin, his soft, floofy hair, and the little moans he'd let out when I fondled his little package.
He was adorable, and the more I thought about him, the tighter my fatigues felt. I glanced down to find a large, throbbing, bulge and groaned. I hated self play but I had no choice.
Kicking off my fatigues, I grapped the bottle and emptied it. I would not be coheirant while doing this. The room blurred and swirled and I had no control over what I was doing. White flashes clouded my vision and I thought I saw Cessy's smiling face as he hovered over me. I felt his hands touching me, a flame started burning wherever he touched me. I screamed his name and his smile widened. I saw fangs, like the ones he had when the kriffing sith pocessed him, but I didn't seem to care and everything went black.
When I awoke the next morning, I promised myself I would never do that again. Well at least not with booze anyway. But maybe someone else would like it. I smiled darkly. It was now play time.
~Author's note!~
Hey everyone, still breathing, things just got hectic where I am. I thank all of you who took the time to read my little drabbles. Anyone know which combination Gash took? Hint, check out one of my other stories for the spice. A virtual cookie for everyone who gets it right!
Yes Fang helps Gash out too for you lovely rearders of "The One Named Lucifer". Fang's loyalty is second to none, as seen here. Hope you enjoyed this little one shot~ Rogue
