This is the companion of Disbelief. Go read that too!
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own. At all.
It wasn't fair.
Rikku had known she was young that the world wasn't fair, not after the way Al Bhed had been treated for so many years, not after Yunie and Tidus were separated, not after she hoped and wished with all her heart to catch Gippal's eye and it never happened.
But this… This wasn't right! All her life, she had done everything she could to make everyone else happy, all the while holding her own dream close to her heart. Through helping her father with Home, being Yunie's guardian, bringing back Tidus, and even now, she had held on to the idea she had in her head of little ones with blonde hair and Al Bhed eyes, children of her own. She had even found someone she wanted to have them with, though he remained oblivious.
It had been a bad day. Anikki was still mourning the loss of Yuna as a Gullwing, and it was all Dachi and Rikku could do to keep him sane. Dachi also hadn't been subtle in his hits on her that day, making her even more tense than normal. When he had suggested getting drinks in Djose, she had eagerly agreed, wanting any chance to see Gippal. He had eventually showed up, and Rikku had been an active participant in getting him drunk, only to be disappointed when he was forced to leave because of work. She had proceeded to drink herself into a stupor, leaving her vulnerable to an equally drunk Dachi who took what of her affections he could get.
It was a few weeks later when she visited a healer with what she thought was a bit of the stomach flu, only to hear both the most joyful and the most terrifying news: she was pregnant, with her only date of possible conception that night.
Immediately, she fled the Celsius. She didn't want to be around Dachi, and wanted to save him from Anikki's insane fury. The first place she thought of was Djose, though she didn't know why Gippal would help her. It had been pouring rain when she showed up, and he had taken one look at her soaking wet, shivering form and immediately pulled her inside. Only after she was warm and dry did he let her explain what was wrong.
At first, she had been so sure that he was going to let her down, and fought the urge to cry. Instead, she found herself in his arms, him murmuring to her comfortingly. The next few days were a whirlwind of getting her settled Djose, Gippal watching every move she made to be sure she was okay. Rikku had been flattered, and happy to be the center of his attention, even as she wrapped her head excitedly around her coming joy.
She was going to be a mother.
Then it happened. She had been putting away laundry, of all things. And then…
Pain. It ripped across her abdomen. She gasped and doubled over, only to see blood pooling around her. Her next breath left her at a scream. Gippal, fayth bless him, came running, and immediately got her to the healer.
Miscarriage.
Her baby was gone.
The healer had been relentless as she lay in Gippal's bed, the larger between the two of their rooms, cleaned up and stitched up, an ice pack resting over her now empty womb. He had strictly informed her that she needed to avoid ever getting pregnant again. She was too small, she could never carry a baby to term, and her body could only stand so many miscarriages before she would bleed out.
Her dream… It was all gone. She sobbed, holding on to Gippal as he tried to comfort her. It wasn't fair… Why her? Why? She had been with everyone else through their dreams, and had been patiently waiting for her own. But now… Aeons, it wasn't fair! Didn't she deserve hers? Didn't she…?
