In between writing, reading Shakespeare and Orson Scott Card, listening to All Time Low and Lily Allen, and talking on the phone, I get bored. So I decided to create this list as a rant to everyone reading the gawrshaweful series by Sueinie Meyer. I've been badgered by twenty thousand people lately, so here you go.
Thanks to the Twilight Saga I cannot...Sing Panic at the Disco lyrics. "There are feathers everywhere," without having Twihards saying, "OMG, Bella was covered in feathers!"
Walk into Hot Topic and make it to the t-shirt section without being blinded by Twilight merchandise.
Say, "Twilight is ignorant," without being murdered.
Name any character in my story with a name similar to any of the Twilight characters. Thanks so much.
Listen to Paramore without being mistaken for a Twilight fangirl.
Write about normal vampires in my stories.
Put sparkles on anything.
Say, "The twilight is gorgeous tonight," or, "It's dark out. Must be the new moon."
Write, "Yeah, I really liked Twilight." Then I get attacked by a thousand billion people before saying, "Erin Hunter did pretty good for The New Prophecy. I'm such a Leaf and Crow shipper."
Type Vampire into Google.
Ever read the Merchant of Venice in front of anyone or quote Romeo and Juliet. Thanks again.
Go to ANY website. (I'm serious people.)
Be a vampire for Halloween
Watch the Goblet of Fire
Watch The Uninvited
Listen to Linkin Park
Spend five minutes near almost any girl. If you aren't one of those girls, I bow to you.
Make a guy a "player" in my stories without someone saying, "So, he's like Edward?"
Talk about possibilites for Hollyleaf's power without someone saying, "It'z Jaspers!"
Go into Barnes and Noble or Borders without being assaulted by a kajillion Twilights.
Sing any song that relates to a forbidden love.
Use a red ribbon for a bookmark. (Fangirl: It looks like the Eclipse cover!)
Say, "I'm Team Tyler's Van." Believe me, you get tarred and feathered.
Say, "Ya know, logically, vampires don't sparkle. They burn."
Write a list like this without being flamed
So, there you go! Twenty five things I can't do. This is probably a one-shot unless I get some ideas. Feel free to put me on a spit and flame.
-S. T. Gapurn
