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Hello. A budding new story brought to you from the creators of Memory, Addicted . . . sliced bread . . . the wheel . . . and insanity.

Go us.

Lolly and Sharky here to say "HI! READ OR ELSE."

Well . . . yeah.

Love us.

And read.


'I hope you haven't gone vegan,' Andy grinned at me cheerfully as he set down a steaming hot tray of - surprise, steaming hot beef, swimming in a scrumptious looking gravy. I smiled, 'No, I am still a self-admitted cow eater.' I picked up my fork, approaching the slices of beef -

When, from all sides of me, many other forks began to attack my sacred cow.

Noooooooooo . . .

Doc, Dopey and Sleepy quickly scabbed large helpings of Andy's famous roast beef, leaving a great deal of the bottom of the tray showing.

'And to think, I was hoping you would all turn Hindu,' I shook my head at them solemnly, as they all made a dive for the baked potatoes, and the peas. I took lovely helpings of all the food, and poured gravy over everything.

Mum smiled at me. 'So how was your day, Susie?'

. . . What a stereotypical way to start a conversation.

'Oh, you know, met with a couple of my gang members and we decapitated another historical statue,' I shrugged lightly, throwing a playful look over at Sleepy, who choked on his creamy cauliflower.

'Suze,' Mum said in disapproval, casting me a warning glance.

'No, I'm serious,' I nodded earnestly. 'We're thinking of calling ourselves the Gothic Gorillas. We were leaning towards Spice Girls, but that was taken.'

Dopey rolled his eyes.

'Or, you know, maybe we should just settle for the Night People, where I'd be their queen - ' I started, but Mum glared.

Doc masticated some cow in his mouth, unaware of the delightful sight that was displayed to all - beef, gravy, and saliva, rolling around his tongue in between his teeth. 'That's what Brad calls you,' he said to me. There was a slight jerk at the table, at which Doc winced, and Brad glared at his little brother, grasping the edges of his plate as if to say 'SHUT THE HELL UP, DWEEB.'

'Brad,' Mum frowned, gracefully sawing her food with her knife, and daintily plopping it in her mouth with her fork.

'Helen?' Andy said, giving her a meaningful look, 'Now?'

Mum shrugged, and smiled. 'Go ahead.'

. . . Huh?

Was this a parental conspiracy, or something? Were Mum and Andy suicide bombers, with explosives strapped to their chests, ready to take us all out?

So typical. Parents probably have conferences every week where they have tell-all sessions about us, their kids. Then figure out ways best to torture us, such as having the power of announcing something supposedly important during dinner.

I stared at them, forgetting my food. 'What?' I asked, 'What now?'

Andy grinned at me. 'How do you like snow, Suze?'

I blinked. 'Um . . . it's cold. And white . . . and avalanches cause whole towns to be crushed by it. Why?'

Well, that was depressing.

Andy, looking slightly put off, shrugged. 'Well, for the Winter Break . . . I'm taking us all to Alaska!'

. . . Tumbleweed.

'Why?' asked Sleepy. 'I'm working. I'm so close to getting enough money for my Camaro - '

'I prefer the heat, myself,' Brad shoveled potatoes into his gob.

'Alaska?' I said sceptically. 'Erm . . .'

Doc looked a lot more excited than the rest of us. 'Really? I heard that a Dr. Guthory found a new species of - '

'I mean, I just thought it would be a great change from Carmel, you know?' Andy said quickly, seeing he was losing interest. 'Please don't tell me you don't want to go. The tickets are booked.'

Aww, man.

'We're really going?' I queried, my fork frozen in my hand.

'Sure,' Andy nodded enthusiastically, 'It'll be a nice get-to-know-each-other time.'

I gave him a 'did-you-drink-detergent?' look. 'Um, Andy . . . that's called hometime.'

'Suze,' Mum snapped, 'I think it's a great idea. You can get out of the house, and see the snow. I hear it's so beautiful,' she said dreamily.

I was worried that Sleepy would start snoring in a second. Dopey looked disgusted.

I knew why. He'd been asked to over by Debbie's family this Break, and our unexpected trip to Mystery Alaska would ruin his chance of getting laid.

Boo hoo. Not.

When do we leave?

'I agree,' I smiled fakely, 'Fab idea.' Mum gave me a thankful look for my support. I didn't want to go. How often did we get off school? I wanted to hang with Cee and Adam and throw toilet paper at Kelly's house.

This would RUIN that.

Then again when have I ever got the chance to see real snow? I mean I've seen snow back in Brooklyn but I don't think a few inches of snow counts. I couldn't even make a snowman.

Yes, tried to make a snowman. I have an excuse – I was a child and didn't know any better.

And isn't Alaska the capital of snow? Er…okay, maybe not.

But, I bet there will be lots and lots of real, white, fluffy, more-than-a-few-inches-thick snow. And I could go skiing, and snowboarding and all the stuff people do. Not that I know how to, of course. But I could learn. Don't they have skiing courses or something at the resorts there?

And if I'm lucky, I could push Dopey in a frozen lake when no one was looking.

. . . Excellent . . .

'Suze? Is that enough time for you to shop?' Mom's voice suddenly drifted into my thoughts.

I shook myself from the snow stupor that I've just been in. 'Shop? For what?'

Everyone looked at me like I just said 'Going to the beach? For what?'

Oops. Must have missed some parts of the conversation. Blame the snow trance.

Andy gave a crooked grin. He had gravy on his cheek. It was funny. Hahaha, foolish earthling. 'Well, we're leaving on Friday. I'm thinking four days are enough for all of you to shop for winter clothes and pack.'

I could just see me in earmuffs, mittens and uggies.

Oh God, no . . . I'd look like such a tool.

Yes. Tool. Screwdriver, that's me.

Doc said cheerfully, 'That's more than enough, Dad.'

I nearly choked on my baked potato. 'FOUR DAYS? To shop AND pack? When we're going on a trip that lasts for – wait, how long is the trip gonna be?'

Dopey grunted and mumbled something. Hard for him to speak, since his mouth was so full of food. You would think that he would chew before speaking. But no. Table manners are not on his priorities list. Unlike winning wrestling championships and doing the nasty with Debbie Mancuso.

Sleepy rolled his eyes and drawled, 'We're going for two weeks, Suze. Haven't you been listening?'

No, not really. But thanks for the careful observation.

Dopey, who thankfully had swallowed his food, snickered. 'No, she's probably thinking about that Slater guy.'

I went red. Like I was a beetroot wannabe. 'Shut up. I have not been thinking about him. I was thinking about our trip. Which, I think would need more than four days to prepare. I mean, I don't even know where the shops that sell winter clothes here are. We need more time, right, Mom?'

. . . RIGHT! BACK ME UP HERE.

She glanced at Andy and shifted on her seat. Now she looked really uncomfortable. I stared at her. There's something she's not telling me. And whatever it is, it's not good. I could sense it.

Mom finally looked at me. 'Well, there's something else I need to tell you.' She paused, as if watching my reaction.

I was the picture of calm. Whatever she's telling me can't be that bad, right? Maybe we don't have enough money to buy winter clothes. That would suck, but I'd deal. I'll just borrow from anyone else. Of course, the chances of someone living in Carmel having winter clothes are pretty slim…but I will find a way. I am resourceful. So there.

Or maybe, you know, she was worried that my skin was so horrifically untanned that I'd get lost in the snow. Like a naked CeeCee, or something.

'I'm not going with you in this trip.'

….Oh.

What?

'You're not going,' I said tonelessly.

Hang on – WHAT?

'WHY are you not coming!' I demanded. 'If you're not going, I'm not going. ANDY, AND THE BOYS? Do youKNOW how much testosterone that is?'

There goes my state of calm.

My bad.

Andy grimaced, Dopey stared at me with his mouth open in shock (giving us a nice glimpse of half-chewed beef) that's sure not the stuff that dreams are made of. Sleepy looked bored while Doc almost shielded himself against my wrath.

Yes, for no one can face Suze's Wrath. They are strong, destructive and can happen in the blink of an eye. It is my ultimate weapon. Besides my ass-kicking abilities.

Did I mention Doc having testosterone?

. . . We might get the lab to double check that.

Wait, why am I rambling? Mom is not coming on this trip! It's an outrage! I SHOULD SUE.

Mom sighed. 'Calm down, Suze. It's not that I don't want to go. Believe me, I do. But I just got the news from WCAL that I have an assignment to Washington, to report on a news piece there. I would have refused, except that it is really important. And I think an opportunity like this doesn't come around too often. It could advance my career. Carmel isn't exactly overly populated.' She looked at me with what she thought to be understanding eyes.

All I see was betrayal.

BLOOD TRAITOR. BAH! EAT SLUGS!

How could she expect me to go with them when she's not coming? I'd rather stay at home than spend time in a strange place with Neanderthals. Not that Andy is one. Or Doc. Even Sleepy. But Dopey definitely is. With the wrestling and the grabbing-of-fellow-male's-inner-thigh-by-the-way-ewwwww. And since they're all males, that automatically say that they're equals. Hence, all being Neanderthals.

And that thing about 'advancing her career'? Blackmail. EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.

'Mom, you can't expect me to go with them. I mean, they're…guys. I'll be the only girl. That would be unfair. I'd rather stay at home.' I huffed.

'That would be great.' Dopey cut in.

'Brad, watch it.' Andy shot Dopey a death stare, then looked at me. 'Suze, you wouldn't be the only girl. Since your mother couldn't come, we decided that you could bring a friend along with you.'

I raised my eyebrows, taken aback. Bring a friend? Hmm.

I brightened considerably. Well, a friend would be as good wouldn't it? Possibly even better. I mean, I couldn't gossip about boys with my mom, but I definitely could with a friend.

I smiled. 'That's cool! Can I ask Gina?' Then I felt guilty. Why did I immediately think of Gina? There's CeeCee. I could ask her. But instead I chose to ask Gina. My only excuse was that I rarely get to see Gina since I moved here. So we need some time to catch up. It doesn't mean that I like Gina more than CeeCee.

Dopey looked mad. 'Wait, how come she get to bring a friend and I don't? That's not fair! It's not like she has any friends –'

'Gina? She coming?' Now Sleepy looked intrigued. Oookay. Maybe it's not the best time to tell him that "G" had moved on from their so-called 'summer fling' and found herself a nice guy back home.

Nope. Better keep my mouth shut and save him the heartbreak. Although, how much heartbreak can a 'summer fling' bring?

Cough. Don't answer that. ESPECIALLY if your answer involves either the words Paul or Slater.

Or Dirty Dancing.

. . . Or, um, John Travolta.

Andy shushed us all, then said in a stern voice. 'Suze gets to bring a friend because she is not comfortable being the only girl there, and it's only fair that she has someone else to room with because Helen can't come. The rest of you, you have me. Get over it.'

Grumbles all around. Not from me, though. I was pleased. That is, until Mom spoke up.

'Oh Susie, I'm afraid Gina can't come with you. I called her family yesterday, and apparently they've gone to Montana to visit her grandparents. They won't be back until next week.'

Balloons filled with happy Suze feelings deflated. I slumped in my seat. Well, I better ask CeeCee fast before she decides to go any where. I couldn't bear the thought of being stuck in this trip with no friends. Of course, there's Adam as a last resort.

But no way. Mom would probably not allow it. Or she would allow it due to the fact that she's so happy her little girl has a boyfriend who she brings on a Winter Break trip with.

No uh. I will never live it down. Not only from Dopey, but from CeeCee as well. Everyone knows how crazy she is about Adam. Everyone except Adam that is.

And PLUS. I don't think Adam liked being called a fag, and Brad would sure give him a whole buttload of fag.

. . . Eww. That came out wrong.

Um. Very wrong.

I am not insinuating that Dopey likes hot sweaty homosexual bum sex or –

ANYWAY.

'That's okay. I'll ask CeeCee. I'm sure she would be happy to come.' I put on a smile, and Mom looked relieved.

'You're gonna ask the albino freak? Jesus Christ, why can't you ask Kelly -'

'Brad! You do not call anyone a freak in this house!' Andy thundered. Then he grounded Brad for the remaining days we're staying in Carmel. Dopey looked murderous but wisely shuts his mouth.

Looks like he couldn't go shopping for winter clothes then. Not that I think he cared that much.

Unless he wanted to buy some new leopard-skin thongs to, you know, impress his secret lover Adam.

Love-hate relationship. Go figure.

We ate the rest of dinner while talking about the resort we were going to be staying and all that jazz. Mom named some shops that I could go shopping to buy some winter clothes, none that I'd heard of, unfortunately. Doc suggested the only girl's shop he could remember at that time, which happened to be Victoria's Secret.

Me and Mom exchanged looks.

Aww. He's such a cute little nerd.

Well, I do have aversion to malls. Though I've been slowly getting cured with the help of CeeCee, I'm not that wholly comfortable with malls yet.

After dinner, I ran up my room to call CeeCee and tell her the chilly news.

That was when a time-stopping thought occurred to me.

Can ghosts travel halfway across country?

Th – they CAN, right?

But I decided not to dwell on that and picked up the phone instead. I dialled CeeCee's number and plopped down on the bed.

'Hello?'

'Cee, guess what! We're going to Alaska for the Winter Break!' I squealed. Yes, squealed. It was embarrassing how I couldn't contain my excitement. Especially after those scenes during dinner. But I think it was starting to grow on me.

The idea of the trip, that is. Not the scenes at dinner.

'Oh. Well, great.' CeeCee didn't sound that excited. In fact she could barely sound enthusiastic.

I frowned, and rolled on my back, and stuck my legs up, so they were horizontal in the air. Thank God I was wearing jeans. I stared at my toes. The nails so needed a re-polish. 'What's the problem? Are you okay?'

Sighing. 'Nothing, everything's okay.' Pause. 'It's just that Adam just called me and said he's going to San Francisco for the holidays, and now you're telling me that you're going to Alaska, and I'm the only loser in Carmel who's not going anywhere -'

I started laughing. It's actually kind of hard to laugh while lying on your back.

'What's so funny? The fact that I'm not going anywhere because my parents have to work is not funny, Suze, in fact – '

But I cut her off. 'No, CeeCee, you got it all wrong. I said we are going to Alaska. As in you and me.'

Us. Together. Because baby, I want you so bad.

Muahaha. Kidding. I like my lovers to have a penis.

. . . That cuts Paul out.

Silence at the other end. 'Cee, are you there?' I asked, wiggling my toes, and then bending my knees boredly.

'Bullshit,' she stated.

I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling. I needed a pedicure. Nice, therapeutic pedicure. I mean, if my feet were going to get frostbite, they might as well look hot beforehand.

'No, I'm not kidding. My mom couldn't come because she has to go to Washington, so she said I could invite a friend. So I'm inviting you. Come on, Cee, you have to come.' I sat up, and started bouncing on the side of my bed. Boing . . . boing . . .

'But – '

'I can't spend my winter holidays stuck with my step-dad and his sons. I mean, there's only so much farting that I can take before I feel the need to run screaming down the street. And I don't think people in Alaska are used to seeing teenage girls run screaming down the street. Not that people in California are used to it either, but – oh forget it. You have to come.'

Cee spoke in disbelief. 'You mean it? I could go? And all the expenses – I don't have to pay for it?'

'Nope, you don't. Hotels, plane tickets, food, all are paid by Andy. You are a guest, so you don't have to pay for anything.' I said happily, then paused. 'Well, except for clothes. That you have to get on your own. So start pickpocketting for that, sweetie. Or being really nice to the parentals.'

She started laughing. Loudly. 'We're going to Alaska! Suze . . . this is unbelievable! I've never even been near snow before.' Except her skin. 'Now we're going to be in a place that is literally filled with snow.' She laughed again.

'Calm down, Cee. We have a lot of work to do. First, you gotta tell your parents that you're going. If they say no, threaten to run away. Or tell them you're pregnant, and get them to say yes in their shock. Then, we have to start shopping. And packing. We're leaving on Friday. And we need to get your REALLY bright clothes, or we won't be able to see you. It'll be like you're invisible.'

Like a ghost.

. . . Oh if only they WERE.

Invisible, I mean. Not albino.

'Friday?' She stopped laughing and sounded horrified. 'But that's not enough time!'

'Tell me about it. But Andy already booked the tickets and everything. So we're leaving on Friday. But don't worry, we can go shopping tomorrow. I don't have any winter clothes.'

'Me neither. Wait, did you just said you want to go shopping? You, Suze Simon the girl with mall-phobia?'

I put on a fake serious tone. 'Sacrifices must be made in times of need.' Then I changed back to my normal voice. 'Besides, I have you to guide me, oh wise white Gandalf.'

'True. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then.' Then seriously, I guess my thrill must have been kind of infectious. Because I feel the need to use multiple exclamation marks. 'I can't wait! Tell your parents I said thanks!'

One parent, one step-parent, I wanted to say. But I couldn't be bothered. So I just said, 'Sure will. See you tomorrow.'

MUAHAHAHAHA. THIS SUDDENLY ROCKED.

I hung up blissfully, hopped up on my bed, and started – shut up . . . tell no one – jumping on it in glee.

I AM GOING TO THE SNOW.

SUCKERS!

As I feared bed-breakage, I belly flopped onto the mattress, and then just started giggling uncontrollably.

. . . Andy must have snuck magic mushrooms into my dinner again. I thought mum TOLD him not to do that.

The giggles were like bubbles of freakiness. They gurgled out like a toilet that had just been unclogged. It was unnatural.

I was excited.

And I'm not excited easily.

Well, yeah. I'm not Paul Slater. I don't get . . . excited . . . whenever I see a hot member of the opposite sex walk by.

But now I was excited.

SNOT!

. . . I mean, SNOW!

Snow is a GOOD THING.

Only, yeah, that question I asked before?

Well, yeah. That was about to be answered.

'Susannah,' said a soft voice from behind me.

I lifted my giggly-wiggly face from the pillow, and looked up.

Jesse was there, looking oh-so Jesse like. His hair curled gracefully into the nape of his neck, his whole physique dripping with hotness.

I, of course, being a hormonal, sixteen year old teenager – who happened to be in love with this guy – melted.

Like ice on a fry pan.

Yes. Ooey gooey Susie goo.

Boy. Bet THAT'S attractive.

'Hi Jesse,' I smiled happily.

. . . Hi Jesse?

IS THAT HOW I START EVERY CONVERSATION? LIKE SOME PEPPY BRAT WITH A LITTLE CRUSH?

I need to buy a book of sexy conversation starters.

Like, "So. I'm going up north. Pity. I was so hoping to be going down south."

. . . Okay. So. Maybe not so much.

However, the look on Jesse's face made me suddenly rather disturbed. Well, disturbed even more than usual.

'What?' I asked worriedly. 'Jesse, please don't tell me that Spike fell down the chimney again. Because I told you last time, I'mnot going to get him out again. The SOOT, Jesse. There's only so much that relationships can take, without female, live member of said relationship zipping up a soot-infested CHIMNEY to rescue a cat who's a wannabe-Santa, and is probably fat and hairy enough to be one – '

'Are you really leaving?' he asked.

. . . Oh.

I winced. I mean . . . now that he was here, I was starting to not be so excited, all of a sudden.

'Um,' I said. 'I mean – no, of course not. I don't have to go. I mean, if you want me to stay, I totally can. Just say the word and I'm all yours – ' I blushed – 'that is to say, I mean, not like, you know . . . I meant that – '

He looked even sadder.

Man, I'm whipped.

Oh, DAMN. 'Wait,' I groaned, 'I have to go. I just told CeeCee. And she sounded all zippedy doo-dah about it, and you know, I can't just back off about now.'

That would be as cruel as letting me meet Jesse, then taking him away.

Something which a certain SOMEONE tried to do once.

No NAMES of course.

He just smiled. But you know, in a sort-of depressed way. 'Oh,' he said.

Oh.

'Oh?' I frowned. 'You can totally come. I formally invite you. You can so come, and we can frolic in the snow, and – '

'Alaska is a long way, Susannah,' he informed me.

Damn right, Sherlock.

'So?'

'I can't dematerialize all that way. Well,' he looked awkward, 'I can, but – well – it's . . . painful.'

My eyes widened. 'Well, don't,' I said quickly. I would never cause Jesse pain. Unless he really pissed me off. 'Don't come then. Oh no. Um.' Now I REALLY didn't want to go.

'Maybe I can pretend I'm sick,' I babbled brilliantly. 'Sick. COLD. I mean, there's NO way they can take me to the cold with a cold. Hah. I'm a genius. From this moment forth, I officially have a cold – '

'Susannah,' Jesse said. He took a step towards me. Several, actually. My heartbeat fluctuated, and my skin got a little hotter. 'Go. I will be here when you come back. You want to go. Do not let me stop you.'

'I so don't – '

'Yes you do,' he laughed softly, now directly in front of me. I blinked up at him. 'I see it in your eyes.'

I smiled a little. 'Oh yeah? What else do you see in them?'

He slid his hands into mine. And instead of responding, he did something far more gratifying.

Lowered his head, and gave me a slow, gentle, affectionate kiss.

I sighed, and kissed him back. Meaning it.

I mean, there's kissing back, and then there's meaning it.

Some people don't know the DIFFERENCE.

Again. No names.

His arms wrapped around me softly, and I felt as if delightfully cool water was trickling down my neck. It was heaven.

Seriously. As tough as this mediator gig was, itsure had perks.

His nose brushed against mine, and he stopped, his eyes closed. I leant my cheek against his, and just hugged him. My big strong ghostly honey. Oh, how I love this guy. Passionately. Soulfully. Seriously. My heart had been in no better place. It was pumping joyfully in my chest.

'Wow . . .' I breathed, and sucked in some much-needed air. 'I should go to Alaska more often.'

He just smiled. A beautiful smile. Gorgeous. Honest. A smile that could break hearts. Melt stone. End wars.

Well . . . that's my opinion anyway.

Maybe it's the undying lurve talkin'.

Well, you know, I think he was, you know . . . okay with the idea.

I think.

'I do hope you have fun, Susannah,' his tones swam around me like chocolate right out of a Willy Wonka movie – thick, rich, melted, warm, and so delicious it should be sinful. 'With CeeCee. In Alaska.'

I gave him a watery smile. 'Thanks, Jesse' I beamed at him.

License to love. At long last I officially have one. And it's worth the wait.

'I'll be waiting for your return' he smiled. Gorgeously. The only way he could.

'Cool,' I said.

Which it was.

Only, I didn't know how cool things were going to get.

And when I say cool, I mean cold.

. . . Really cold.


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