AN: I'm so in love with them being together! I can't believe it took me this long to start OUAT. It's worth it, even just for them. Not to mention Robert Carlyle is amazing...
All rights for Once Upon a Time are ABC's (and consequently Disney's). I own nothing.
"Is it true?"
Hearing Belle's voice, Rumple turned around immediately. He had no doubt what his wife was talking about; Hook and Elsa have just left the store, after Hook threatened to tell Belle the truth about the dagger. He had no idea how the Pirate knew the dagger he gave Belle wasn't real, but it didn't matter. He'd made a vow, to Belle and to Baelfire, and he was going to keep it. Whatever it took.
In this case, as soon as Hook told him about the dagger, he knew it would take telling her the truth.
He took a breath and then led her back to his office. He gestured at one of the chairs, but Belle remained standing, looking at him silently. He looked down briefly and then walked to her purse, resting on the table. Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled out the covered dagger.
Turning back to her, he spoke again, his voice soft and quiet. "If you summoned with it, if you commanded me to do something with it, you would see it happening. I meant what I said, Belle. I trust you the way I never trusted anyone and giving you this dagger is my way of showing it to you." He took a few steps towards her, now balancing the dagger on his palms the way she did. "You gave it back to me because you trusted me to be better. To be the man you deserve. I'm not that man."
"Rumple…" She started, her eyes showing the inner conflict between anger and disappointment over his lie and feeling touched over his words.
"Please, Belle." He cut her off, as gently as she could. "I hope that with you by my side, I can become that man. But before I could do that, I needed to make amends. I needed to set things right."
He handed her the dagger, still balancing it on his palms, one under the hilt and the other under the end of the blade. "I promised Bae I'll avenge his death. I needed to do it. And I knew you wouldn't let me. You're kind, Belle. You believed she was powerless and deserved a second chance. But she had that second chance and she betrayed it, and with that, she took my son. I promised him I won't let her get away. I didn't.
"The dagger Regina gave you was the real dagger," He looked down at the dagger, hoping with all his worth he was doing the right thing, "But the dagger I gave you back wasn't. I needed my dagger. For Baelfire. I failed him, time and again. This was my last chance of setting things right. I had to take it, Belle."
"So you lied to me." He could hear her pain and disappointment in his voice. He could hear the tears in her voice. Knowing it was his fault broke his heart. "You don't really trust me."
"I do." His hands shook lightly as he kept holding the dagger out for her, hoping she'd take it. "The only reason I didn't give you the dagger was because I knew you'd stop me from doing it. After Zelena was gone, I switched the daggers back." She didn't say anything, and he didn't dare looking up, the very thought of her leaving frightening him more than anything could. "I meant it, Belle. I do trust you. And if you took this dagger and gave me an order, I would obey. I would have to. Because the dagger you have is the real dagger, and I'm still a slave to its powers."
She still didn't reach out to take it. She didn't make a single move towards him. He waited, his eyes set on the dagger, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He could feel every beat, and couldn't help but wonder if the next beat will be the one in which he loses Belle.
He could tell she was still there, but she didn't say a word, so eventually, he started talking again, wishing for a way to prove it to her. A way to show her that she's all he's ever needed, that he trusts her like he'd never trusted anyone in his long, long life.
"I was afraid," He said quietly, his voice shaking lightly. He could feel the tears filling his eyes and knew that he wouldn't be able to hold them back much longer. "I was afraid that if I tell you the truth, you'd leave. I had to do it. You wouldn't have let me. I know that's not what you meant, but you would have forced me to choose between you and Baelfire. I couldn't. I can't. I can't lose you, Belle. And I was afraid that if I told you what I did… I would. Because I deserve it. For lying to you, for going after Zelena, for keeping all this from you. I deserve losing you. And I was afraid that if I told you, you'd see it, too. You'd see that I don't deserve to have you in my life."
At last, she took a deep breath. "I love you," She whispered, her voice soft but pained. "I always have. No matter what you think about yourself, I know you're wrong, Rumple. You do deserve to find love. There's good inside you, even if you don't see it. Nothing can change that."
His shoulders shook as he sobbed quietly, unable to stop himself. Relief, love and pain filled him, taking control over his body as he cried. He could hear the sound of metal meeting stone as the dagger fell from his hands, but he couldn't care less. Somehow, Belle always knew just what to say to make him feel a little less broken than he did.
"I'm sorry," He managed, his voice shaking, "Really, Belle. I'm sorry I lied to you. I shouldn't have. I wish there was a way for me to show you that I do trust you. I trust you with far more than this dagger."
Her arms wrapped around him, and he held onto her, hugging her back, his own arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her to him. There was only one thing he was certain about, now that Baelfire was gone. He couldn't lose Belle. He loved her too much to be able to survive without her. He needed her.
"You should have told me," She said softly, and from the sound of her voice he knew she, too, was crying.
"I know," He admitted. "I know. I've made a mistake. A big mistake. I've made a lot of mistakes. But I just didn't want to lose you. I can't lose you, Belle. You're the only light I have in my life. Whatever light I have in me now, it's all your doing. You made it, because you had faith in me, even when I didn't deserve it. I just can't lose you."
"I know." She pressed a kiss to his hair, and he buried his face in her neck, letting her comfort him the way only she could. "I don't need the dagger," She whispered after a moment's silence, her voice still choked. "I never did."
"I know." He took a shaky breath, inhaling her scent. She really was there with him. In moments like this, there was a part of him that still thought he must be dreaming, because It couldn't possibly be true. She couldn't possibly love him. "I know, but I wanted… I needed to show you that I trust you like you trust me. I trust you, not just with the power of this dagger… but with my heart." He shook his head slightly, taking another deep breath. "After I lost Bae, I thought I'd never love anyone. He was my life, and when he was gone… But then you came. You made me a better man. You found the way into the heart I didn't think I still had." Slowly, he forced himself to pull back, just enough to be able to look into her eyes. "My heart is yours, Belle. I thought that if I gave you the dagger, if I showed you I trust you with it – because I do – you'll know I trust you, with all my heart. Like you trust me."
"I know you do." She let go of him, instead cupping his cheeks. "I know you do, Rumple. You don't have anything to prove to me." Her eyes were filled with love and compassion as she looked at him, gently caressing his skin. "I know you love me. I don't need the dagger to know it."
He shook his head slightly in disbelief, looking at her once again through a shade of tears. "I don't know what I did to earn this faith you have in me," He whispered, gently brushing hair away from her face with his right hand. "I never did anything to deserve it. But here you are… even after everything I've done. Even after all the wrongs I've done, you're still here. Even when I've hurt you."
"Hurt comes with love," She said gently, "But that doesn't mean you give up on it." He nodded slowly, his eyes locked on hers, losing himself in the love and softness in her eyes. Then it was shadowed by pain as his lies made their way to the front of her mind. "But you lied to me, Rumple," She said, her voice quiet and once again choked. "You…"
"I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, trying desperately to stop himself from crying again. "I shouldn't have. I know it. I know I've made a mistake. But I love you, Belle. I'd do anything to prove it to you. I'd do anything for you to trust me."
She nodded slowly in acceptance, her love and faith once again shining in her eyes. "Is there anything else you lied to me about?" She asked quietly.
He shook his head. "No. Nothing." He took a shaky breath and looked down at the dagger on the floor. "Except… I've been trying to find a way to get rid of this dagger. I can't be anyone's puppet again." He sighed. "But it doesn't matter. I couldn't. I can't," He added bitterly.
Gently, she turned his head to look at her. "I won't let anyone control you," She said, gently stroking his hair back. "I won't, Rumple. I promise."
"I will never know why you still have faith in me," He whispered, gently stroking her cheek. "But I promise, Belle, I will do whatever I need to do to be worthy of that faith. I will do whatever I need to do to regain your trust."
Still stroking his hair, she smiled through the tears in her eyes. "I know you will, Rumple," She said softly, pulling him back to her. Wrapping her arms around him, she pressed her lips to the side of his head. He hugged her back, holding on to her, hoping he can still make things right. "I love you. Whether or not you believe you deserve it."
He took a deep breath, once again burying his face in her neck. "I love you too, Belle. Now and forever."
