So this is the first time I post a story for NCIS. For a weird reason I dreamt this story a few nights ago and decided to post it. It's a little dark for now but I do plan for a brighter story. Please give it a try and let me know what you think!

The italic parts are flashbacks, hopefully that won't confuse anyone!

DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately don't own NCIS or the characters. I simply enjoy playing with them! :)


It had been a hell of a day, both emotionally and physically exhausting. It was more than a day actually, it was the last few weeks that had taken a toll on Abby. As soon as the case had ended, she had gone home where she sat in the shower and used a razor to cut a few lines on her upper arm, and when the water ran cold she went to bed where she cried herself to sleep.

Abby Sciuto didn't normally let comments hurt her, after all she was a Goth and her choice of dressing often got a few negative comments. She didn't understand why this one comment got to her but it did and it hurt.

Abby was going through her notes on a case she had worked on while waiting for the court to return to session. The defense lawyer from JAG, two Marine sergeants and none other than Lt. Colonel Hollis Mann were walking by her, talking about the case, and that's when she heard it;

''I am not worried about the case. It'll be over before you know it'' said the first Marine.

Mann scoffed, ''there's nothing to be worried about. Once the jury and the judge sees that circus freak, the case will be over with'' she said.

The four of them laughed, ''how can NCIS have hired that thing? It's a federal agency for God's sake!'' said the second Marine.

The other one laughed, ''she's nothing more than an embarrassment to NCIS and their agents. If I were director, I would of fired her so quick, she'd be out on the curb with that obscene and childish stuffed animal'' he said with a hint of menace.

''I've tried it all. I've lodged complaints against her with the Director and with Sec-Nav but to no avail! 'She's got the diplomas' they say. It wouldn't surprise me if she slept with her teachers to get those degrees'' said Mann, a sharp edge to her voice laced with anger.

They passed her without acknowledging that she was sitting by them. Abby bit back the tears and the hurt and willed herself to get through the day. She noticed, however, the disgusted stares of the members of the jury, and that drove the knife that was already in her chest further in. As soon as she was done, she headed to her lab to work but there was nothing for her to process so she had headed home where all she wanted to do was sleep.

Her phone woke her out of the beginning of a nightmare. She looked over at the clock, 3:36am. 'Screw this' she thought as she pressed ignore on her phone and returned her head to her pillow. Her self-esteem had been shot completely, she felt like an idiot, she felt like the world was against her, and it hurt her deeply. Was it true? Was she an embarrassment to NCIS? Did she embarrass Gibbs whenever they went out?

More tears formed in her eyes as she thought of Gibbs, the one man that seemed to accept her for who she was. She had fallen in love with him the first year she started at NCIS, and it wasn't long before they started a routine and became close friends. She watched him go through many girlfriends that weren't his type, was there for him when they eventually left him. She suffered through his relationship with that smug-looking Hollis Mann and now she suffered through another one of his relationships.

Jenny Sheppard, director of NCIS and former partner of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She had seen the look pass between them when Jenny became director and hopped she would be wrong but she wasn't. As soon as Gibbs and Mann had broken up, he went straight into the arms of Jenny and they became an item. Abby was hurt by this, especially since the director knew how Abby felt about Gibbs.

Abby angrily wiped a stray tear from her cheeks as she continued to process the gun in her hand. She had witnessed a passionate kiss between the director and Gibbs while she was out on break, one she was sure could of turned into something more adultery if it weren't for the fact that they were in the parking lot. Abby turned around and went to her lab where she hopped she'd be able to lose herself in her work.

Jenny came into the lab smiling 15 minutes later. ''Abby, just the person I wanted to see. I apologize about cancelling lunch today, something came up'' she said with a slight blush.

Abby just shrugged, ''no problem, m'am'' she answered. Jenny gave her a worried look when she noticed the red eyes and the tear stained face.

''Everything alright?'' she asked as she put a hand on her arm. Abby pulled it away quickly as if she had been burned.

''No, everything is not alright'' she snapped and turned her back on the director. Jenny had remained quiet for a few minutes while she tried to figure out why the usually bubbly scientist would be crying.

''Wanna talk about it? Need a hug?'' she asked quietly as she moved next to her. ''Abby, please talk to me'' she whispered after a few seconds when all she got was a cold shoulder.

Abby scoffed and wiped another stray tear. ''You could of told me'' she snapped again. ''I've been telling you for months now how I feel about him and in that time, you couldn't have told me you were seeing him? What was it? You wanted to know how I felt so the two of you could laugh about it during pillow talks?'' she asked angrily.

Jenny remained shocked, mouth opened as she looked at Abby. If Abby hadn't been so angry, she would of noticed the tears in her eyes and the regret there as well. ''Abby, I -'' she started before being interrupted.

''Save it. I don't care. You could of taken a few minutes to tell me to lay off. I would of. Instead, you've led me to believe that I could of actually had a chance. Should of told me I didn't. Of course I knew that, how could I have been so stupid?! I'm not a redhead, so of course he'll never go for me. I'm nothing more than a childish-Goth'' she yelled angrily before walking out of the ballistics lab and running straight into Gibbs himself.

''Abs, what's wrong?'' he asked, concerned. Abby didn't often cry but when she did, it wasn't for nothing. He raised his hand to cup her cheek but she slapped it away.

''Nothing is wrong, Gibbs. Nothing at all. It's all perfectly fine. If I were any finer, I would be dead!'' she snapped angrily and left her lab.

Since that day, two weeks ago, she had avoided both Gibbs and the director, even if both of them kept trying to talk to her. Gibbs still brought her CafPow! every time he came down for information but she stopped drinking them. He kept inviting her for supper but she declined. She refused to let him touch her; no massages, no hand on the back, and no kisses either. She missed it but she felt too much of an idiot to be around him.

Abby believed that he probably knew about her feelings for him, of course he did, he was Gibbs. He knew everything. It didn't stop her from feeling broken hearted. And after hearing those people talk at the court house, Abby had a sort-of-epiphany.

'Of course he'd never like me' she thought, 'I'm too much of a circus freak for him. I probably embarrass him every time we go out. No wonder he's always quiet around me'. The more she thought of him, the more she depressed and the more she depressed, the more she cried, and eventually fell into a deep sleep.

Once asleep, she didn't hear the banging on her front door. Nor did she hear the rattling of her lock and her door opening then closing. She didn't hear Gibbs' worried call of her name as he searched for her. Nor did she feel his hand stroking her hair once he found her, curled up in the fetal position, with tear stains drying on her face and dried blood on her arms. She didn't even hear his 'Oh Abs' filled with hurt as he watched her sleep.


So what do you think? Should I continue? Should I delete and give it another try? Like it? Hate it? I love reviews so please don't be shy to let me know what you think! :)