My promised retaliation to MrDrP's Crossover and Out.
Green and Blue, Brother!
"Hey, there goes Cell Block D's resident genius!"
"Yeah, he's a regular failure savant!"
The catcalls followed Dr. Drakken as he was led to the exit. He scowled at the disrespect. Just laugh, you fools, one day you'll call me Master!
A group of guards waited with another prisoner. A very familiar prisoner: someone whose incompetence had helped put him where he was. She greeted him with the usual flippancy.
"So, Dr. D., what's up?"
"I have no idea, Shego. Maybe somebody needs my genius. Don't see why they'd want you."
"Don't know, maybe they need some muscle, skill, common sense. Things you can't provide."
A guard cut the exchange short. "This way, you two. Warden's office."
They walked across the yard to the Administrative Block. Guards and weapons were abundantly evident. Even with the specially designed hand cuffs, no one was taking Shego lightly. When they reached the Warden's Office, a guard removed the hand cuffs.
"Won't need these, not with who you're seeing."
Shego's eye brows went up. "Oh, really?" She turned to Drakken. "You think the Princess is here to gloat?"
"Kim Possible?" Drakken started at the name. "She's too busy running around rescuing kittens stuck in trees, or maybe making kissy faces with that buffoon."
Sounds like sour grapes to me. "Maybe GJ sent that idiot Du. He'd be confident enough to have the cuffs taken off. If it's him, we're outta here!"
The office was dark; only one lamp at the desk was on. Whoever sat at it had the chair turned to the window. Shego's contempt grew. A show of confidence. I'll wipe that smirk right off…
A creak announced the chair was turning. Shego's eyes went wide, her jaw dropped. Drakken saw something he had never seen before: Shego was afraid. An older woman sat in the chair; she leaned forward as they walked to their seats. Her fingertips were touching; she brought them to her lips as she sighed.
"M-Mother Superior?"
"What? Shego, if she's a nun, where's the funny outfit?"
"It's called a habit, you moron! They don't have to wear them all the time."
Before the usual fight could begin, the woman spoke.
"Sasha, Sasha, Sasha, Sasha. It pains me to have my predictions proven correct. Please, take a seat you two."
"Prediction?" Drakken looked at Shego.
"Yeah, she wrote in her reference letter that I would either be putting people in jail, or be there myself."
"Putting people in? Oh, yeah, I forget about Team Go."
That's not what she was talking about. "Mother Superior, if this is about…"
"No. It's not." The woman shook her head. "I haven't called you for confession, though it would be good for your soul. I called you because St. Agatha's needs your help."
"My help? My help?" Shego was nonplussed. "What the…" WHACK!
Drakken stared in shock as Shego rubbed the back of her hand. He had never seen anyone strike so quickly. Mother Superior calmly slid the pointer back up her sleeve.
"Language, girl. You were at my school for twelve years; I know where you were headed with that."
"Sorry, Mother Superior." Shego looked up as she put her hands in her lap. "But why does St. Ag.'s need me?"
"Things have changed, a lot, since you've gone away. Neighborhoods change, demographics change. The church is fine, but the school, your school, is going broke! The children we teach now are overwhelmingly poor. Very few can afford to pay the full tuition, and the parish no longer has the funds to cover the rest. And the diocese is all for consolidation, which is fine for the haves, but not for us."
"If you're asking for a contribution, I'm afraid all of our assets are frozen."
Shego shook her head. "You ought to whack him for that."
"You don't punish stupidity."
"Yeah, it sort of takes care of itself." Shego turned her head toward Drakken and smiled.
"Yeagh! You two are ganging up on me! It's so unfair."
"The world's unfair, get used to it." Mother Superior answered. "You just try to make it a better place."
"Which will never happen, as long as that infernal Kim Possible interferes with my plans for world domination! If you could only see my vision of Drakkentopia…" WHACK!
"Thanks, Mother Superior." Shego smiled as Drakken rubbed his hand.
"You don't punish stupidity, but plans for world conquest are bad." The old woman folded her hands and looked at the two. "Sasha, you may wonder why I had him brought here. He isn't from St. Ag's, or the Church, and his track record is less than stellar."
"You got that right." Shego muttered. "I sometimes wonder why I'm still with him."
"Has something to do with the pay, I imagine…"
"St. Agatha's doesn't have time for this." Her stare made Drakken and Shego uncomfortable. "You two have been working together for how long? And you still can't get along?" Or is it just your way? "How little you know yourselves..."
"Hey, hey, enough of the nunjitsu." Shego cut in. "What do you want us to do, and what's in it for us?"
"St. Agatha's needs money. A full quarter million to be exact. Some things have changed, but greed remains. Developers want the school grounds, and the diocese sees no reason to prop up a poor school teaching poor children. It's up to us, or more exactly, it's up to you."
"So you want us to steal?" Shego rolled her eyes. "Isn't that a little, I don't know…WRONG?"
"There's stealing, and there's stealing." Mother Superior tilted her head. "I'm sure you can come up with some way to find something that would go unreported."
"Why don't you use your connections?" Shego asked Mother Superior sharply.
"They would be traced. I need someone else to do the work. I know you. You're smart, fast, strong, and deep down; I think you still have loyalty to your old school. And where you are, you can find your bad Doctor here. There must be some reason you stay with him, God has used stranger tools."
"Tool? Dr. Drakken is nobody's tool! Come, Shego, we're going back…"
"To our cells? Great call, Dr. D." Shego turned back to Mother Superior. "Okay, you've told us what you want, now, what's in it for us?"
"What you've always wanted, more than anything."
"Now I know you're lying." Shego shook her head vigorously. "No way you'd let me take Kimmie out!"
"Or me take over the world." Drakken chimed in.
Mother Superior sighed. "Again, you know so little of yourself, Sasha. You know that there's no way she won't find out you're up to something. And she'll try to stop you. And when you save St. Agatha's…"
A light went on in Shego's eyes. "I'll have what I want…more than anything! All right, Mother Superior, we're in!"
"We?" Drakken did a double take. "What about me, Shego? What's in it for me?"
"I'll explain later. Time to move." She turned to Mother Superior. "First things first, how do we get out?"
"Taken care of already. I have clothes, a cover story, and a car. Are you ready to go?"
"When it comes to this, I was born ready. So were you, Doc."
Drakken shrugged. "I hope you know what you're up to, Shego."
G&B
The guards turned to the pair coming out of the Administrative Block. They wore black suits with skinny ties and black fedoras. Shades covered their eyes. The woman handed her i.d. to the guard.
"Thank you, Ms. Wobakoff, I hope we get a good evaluation."
"Exactly the one you deserve. We couldn't do this without your attention to detail." Her lip curled up ever so slightly.
"Yes, we'll remember this when…" Shego gave Drakken a slight nudge in the side. "Thank you for your time, officer."
A car waited for them. Shego hid her thrill. An old Ford Crown Vic stood ready, its old colors covered over with an even coat of white paint. Shego had ridden in the front of a thousand of these as a child, and in the back of far too many in recent years. Her eyes went over the dash, to where the equipment had been removed.
"All right, Shego, now we get out of here and back to the lair!"
"No way, Drakken. We're off to save St. Ag's."
"What?" He started. "Are you crazy? What makes you think she can follow us?"
"Her? She can't. Doesn't have to, we can't get away from the Church, though, or the Family."
"Family?" Drakken asked.
"Family, as in the Consala Family of Go City. She's a member."
The blue man turned slightly green. "The Consalas?"
"Still want to run?"
"No." he said in a tiny voice.
"Then we're off."
"But what are we going to do? How do we come up with a quarter million dollars?"
Shego shook her head. "No idea, but we're gonna do it. And when we do, we'll have what we want, more than anything."
"But we won't have the world; we'll only have…have…" And the light went on in his eyes. "And you're sure we'll, win this time?"
Shego smiled as she started the car. She gripped the steering wheel. The gates opened, and she reached to put the car in gear.
"We can't be stopped; we're on a mission from God."
Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney.
The Blues Brothers are borrowed from Universal Studios.
