Disclaimer... I own absolutely nothing :[ we all know Twilight and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer
Anyways Hi this is my very very very first fanfiction and I hope you enjoy it
I try to go back over them myself to look for mistakes but most of the time
I don't get everything :[
But I will update on Sundays ( be warned that is subject to change)
(But I will try really hard to keep it constistent but I have a job and
school so I can't be sure that i'll have enough time to get a chapter done with the little free time I have)
This is eventually going to be a Rebecca X Embry fic :D...Obviously..Well I think . _ . Duh Duh Duhhhh!
The rating may change in the future if I chose so..( so you've been warned)
Ohh and I'm gonna try to name every chapter after a song I think that
goes well with it.
So Please Read And Review if you wish
Ideas Are WELCOMED
Criticism Is WELCOMED
- Done-
Seriously W.B.
Rebecca pulled off to the side of the road that she had so many memories playing on as a small child, slowly slamming her head on the steering wheel she let out a sigh of frustration and cursed herself for being such a coward. She wasn't exactly sure what she was doing back in Washington, and where she had found the courage to actually make the long drive home. As she sat on the side road she was beginning to wonder where her new found courage had disappeared to, as it was quickly being replaced by fear. She couldn't help but remember the promise she made to herself, it seemed like such a long ago now. She never wanted to come back, and she swore to herself that she wouldn't. She'd kept good to that promise for almost six years, but here she was now finding herself only miles away from breaking it.
Rebecca remembered how much her life shattered when a police officer had come to their door, late that one night. Giving them the terrible news that her mother had died, in a car wreck. Only moments before Rebecca had been hugging her mother goodbye, promising to have the cookies in the oven by the time she returned home from the store. And like that she would never see her mother again.
She remember how life seemed to come to a complete halt when her mother died. Their father didn't know how to handle having his wife taken from him, and their children weren't much better off. Rebecca had been absolutely miserable, she'd always pictured her life with her mother, Sarah Black had been a rock not only for her but there entire family and now she had no idea how to live with out her. She was her best friend.
She'd felt so lucky when she met Solomon Finau, one nice cloudy day while she was reading on the beach. He had been surfing the amazing waves that always came before a nice storm, he'd approached her and she couldn't help but find the the young competitive surfer irresistible. With her messy blonde curls, and lovely tanned skin.
They dated for almost a year and a half, finally when she was old enough she'd left for Washington to be with him. He was her freedom, offering her a what she considered a serious relationship and a chance to escape La Push. Solomon made her forget the gaping whole in her chest, he made her dim stars shine brighter, and he made the world that had come to a stop, revolve once again.
She turned her back on her family so quickly, with not as much of a warning or even a simple goodbye, afraid that her father and sister would put up resistance. She packed only a few important things and left, finally contacting her father after she made her trip safely to Hawaii. She could still remember how hurt her father had sounded, she was expecting him to be angry to scream or fuss at her about her immature she was being, but he did neither. Her father actually cried, it wasn't the first time she'd heard him cry. She could remember numerous nights where she and her sister had woken up by her drunken fathers and sobs, he was always looking through old albums when they found him. But he'd never intentionally let his children see him cry. But on the phone her father was so broken, he had begged her to come home, to not leave her family, so sure that his heart couldn't bare losing her too. She almost turned around and took a plane back to Washington, she hated the idea of hurting her father even more than she knew he was already hurting, it made her chest ache but Rebecca couldn't go back to the pain La Push held.
After that her father wouldn't speak to her, it was almost like now she was as dead as her mother to him. Her twin sister and younger followed the same example, and made no attempt to contact her. Her calls were always ignored, letters never replied to it was only after three years that she even heard anything from her family. Receiving a wedding invitation, from her twin sister. She was surprised, words couldn't describe how happy she had been realizing that she hadn't been forgotten by her own family. She wanted desperately to go, to for even a moment pretend that nothing had ever tore them apart, but fate worked against her and she wasn't able to attend.
Three years had passed since the invitation and she hadn't heard anything from any of them. She didn't even know if they still lived in La Push, she was sure her father would have never under normal circumstances leave the home he'd shared with their mother. But she couldn't be sure, God forgive that something hadn't happened to them that had forced them to go.
Be as it may the truth was that she hadn't spoken to him in a such a long time, she couldn't even be sure that the man she once knew would be the same. That grief didn't make him bitter and angry, much like it done to herself.
Her mind drifted to her twin sister, the sister she once dreamed about having an elaborate double wedding with. She wondered what she'd been doing with herself after all these years. She was obviously married now, to some man name Paul. Rebecca was sure she knew him, considering that the reservation was small that everyone knew everyone, but she had trouble putting a face with his name. She wondered if her twin was happy, if she'd become a doctor like she dreamed of when they had been younger. She wondered if she had any children, the thought brought Rebecca's eyes down to her now flat stomach. She could feel the sting of warm tears building up, and she shook her head pushing away memories that she desperately wanted to forget.
She pushed her thoughts to her younger brother Jacob, he had only been fourteen when she left. She remembered how lost he'd been after their mother's death, it broke her heart seeing him so confused and miserable, having his mother, their biggest support system ripped away from him. Then to have your older sister, abandoned you too. Rebecca let out a disgusted snort, she hated to think about selfish she had been, how much she'd failed her younger brother. She could understand completely why he'd never tried to speak to her.
Still she wondered if he was as handsome as she'd always told her father he would be. If he still loved to climb tree's like he did when he was younger, if he had a girlfriend or even if he decided to go to college.
She wondered if her father diabetes was under control, if he had been eating right. Before she abandoned them, Rebecca had been the one that was responsible for all of her fathers meals. Making sure that his disease was being managed well, and keeping him on top of his medicine. She shook her head as once again the realization how stupid she'd been leaving filled her, her heart ache and her chest was heavy.
She wondered if his mobility had gotten any better, and who was taking car of him. She wondered if any of them even missed her, if they thought about her because truth be told she'd thought about them every day for the last six years of her life.
She wanted so desperately to go back and time, and change all the horrible choices she seemed to have made in the least six years. To rewrite history.
The tears she had been holding back finally fell, as she let out a strained sob banging her hand up against the dashboard until her palm was purple and painfully numbed. The pain was unbearable but she didn't stop, she needed to let everything out now while she was alone, she needed to hurt, she deserved it and she welcomed the pain.
Rebecca wouldn't allow her pain to be worn on her sleeves, she wouldn't let them know how miserable she had truly been without them. She didn't want her family to think of her as a weak pitiful women, no matter how true it was. She cried for what seemed like long endless hours, before finally her tears began dry up and she lifted her head. She caught a glimpse of her ruined make up and puffy red eyes in the mirror and she shook her head, frowning deeply at her appearance.
She redid her make up as best as her shaking hands would allow , before running a hand thru her long curly hair. She started the car, and made her way back onto the road. She would face her family, and if they rejected her, if they didn't want her anymore than she would leave with her chin up. Not allowing any pain to show on her face, not allowing them to see how desperately she wanted their acceptance.
She hadn't tried to think about what she would do if her family, didn't accept her. She wasn't sure where she would go, because after six years of making terrible decisions honestly..
...Rebecca Black had nobody.
