This Heart (chapter one)
Disclaimer: This is a work of my art. I didn't steal it from anyone. It's mainly taken from my own personal experience.
My mother named me Juliet. She said she choose that name from her favorite play "Romeo and Juliet". She also said that it was the most beautiful Shakespearian play she had ever read. This is why I came to be named so. I never believed in love. Well I did, but not love at first sight. That was until I met Vanessa. When I met her, my life changed forever.
I met Vanessa at school. She had just transferred to our school from California. I had never seen anyone sparkle the way she did. I remembered the way she floated to my table in art and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Vanessa Johnston." I just sat there and gawked at her. When I finally got the nerve to speak, I stammered, "Um, I'm Juliet…as in "Romeo and Juliet" It's my mom's favorite play and…" I could feel the heat creep up my face. Why was I babbling?
"Nice to meet you Juliet from "Romeo and Juliet" Mind if I sit here?" I nodded my head foolishly and she sat down. She began rummaging through her bag. Why was I such a dork? It's not like I haven't had a conversation with a girl before. And why did I suddenly have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach?
When Vanessa finally emerged from her bag, that's when I noticed her arm warmers. They were rainbow colored. I guess she noticed my staring because she started laughing. "Yes, I am a lesbian, if that's what you're thinking. And, that's the reason I'm here. My mom couldn't handle the idea of me kissing a girl, so she shipped me off to live with my dad." I felt like such an idiot! I couldn't get my brain to move like a normal 17 year old's brain should function. Luckily, the bell signaled the end of class and I could finally walk away without making a complete fool of myself. As I walked behind Vanessa out of the door, she looked over her shoulder and winked.
-x-
I headed to my next class, English, and took my usual chair next to my best friend, Jessica. As usual, she started babbling away about her weekend. I nodded and gasped at all the right moments, but truthfully, I had no clue as to what she was talking about. I was lost in my own thoughts and didn't pay attention to what I was suppose to be doing there. So when Mrs. Aberforth called on me to answer a question, all I could do was say I didn't know the answer, which is quite unusual for me. I always know the answer to things, so I received a very stern look from her. I couldn't help it if I was thinking about other things. Like the weird girl from California who winked at me.
The rest of my morning classes flew by in a breeze. Next thing I knew, I was being ushered to our normal lunch table, sitting with my usual bunch of friends. We were all chatting when Vanessa walked by, well, floated by. I caught a glimpse of her t-shirt. On the front, it had a rainbow-filled heart and words written in white that read "I have a thing for girls" When she caught my eye, she winked and walked away. Again, I could feel the heat creep up my cheeks. One of the guys at my table muttered, "Dyke" and everyone started laughing. Well, everyone except for me. Hey it wasn't funny, so why laugh?
After lunch, Jessica and I headed to our lockers. She instantly started rambling on about Bradley, her boyfriend, and the date they set up tonight, but my mind was back on Vanessa and the way her green eyes looked when she winked at me. "Juli, are you listening to me?" Jessica interrupted my daydream, yet again. "Huh? Oh yeah." Real smooth Juliet. "Well, what do you think of the new girl?" Jessica asked. I wanted to say that I couldn't get her off my mind, but I'm not gay…am I? "Her name's Vanessa. She's cool; she's in my art class." Simply said and done. "Oh well, she's a dyke, I'm pretty sure of it. I don't see how she could be so open about it. I mean, going around kissing a girl? NASTTYY!" She shuddered a bit and continued switching her books for afternoon classes. She then continued talking about Bradley until she remembered she wanted to meet him at his locker. I told her I would meet up with her at the end of the day and she was off.
After I closed my locker, I began walking down the hall. That's when I saw her again. She was walking into the restroom. Did I want to follow her? After a brief battle with my mind, I decided to go in after her. Why? I don't know. I walked into the tiny bathroom and dropped my purse on the floor. I took out my brush and began brushing my hair. "Time for a touch up." I thought out loud. That's the thing with me…I'm always thinking out loud. At that time, I heard the toilet flush and out of my peripheral vision, I saw Vanessa emerge from a stall. Our arms brushed against each other as she washed her hands. When she glanced up, she smiled and said, "Ya know? We would make a fantastic couple." I looked into the mirror and that feeling returned to the pit of my stomach. You know that feeling you get when you were a little kid and the boy you like so much kisses you? That's the feeling I got in my stomach. Then and there.
I nervously chuckled. I stared at her. She was beautiful. Green blue eyes, a nice year-round tan, sun kissed blonde hair, and a nice smile. And there I was next to her, chocolate brown eyes, chocolate colored skin, jet-black hair, and an okay-for-myself smile. "Interracial love," I thought, but then shook my head. Um, I'm not gay remember? Out of nowhere, the bell sounded to begin afternoon classes. I was going to be late! My Calculus class was on the other side of the school! I ran from the bathroom, leaving Vanessa behind. By the time I got to class, I had just remembered that I'd left my purse. Wow, what an idiot.
-x-
By the time I made it to seventh period, I really wished I could go home and hide under my bed. It was the worst. First of all, in Calculus, I was called to the board to answer a problem I knew I didn't know how to do. To top things all off, I had gotten my much anticipated period! And I didn't have a tampon! I just couldn't believe my luck. Sixth period was okay since I had study hall. But seventh period, I met up with Jessica again. And much to my dismay, Vanessa was there, too. When we took our seats, my World History teacher, Mr. Li introduced her to the class. Jessica leaned over and whispered, "Isn't that your purse? So she's a dyke and a thief?" Just then, Mr. Li pointed Vanessa into my direction. Omigosh, what could possibly be over here?! She quickly sauntered to my row and took a seat behind me. Oh yeah, there's an empty seat behind me! I'm such a retard. Vanessa taped me on the shoulder and handed me my purse. I quickly thanked her and put my focus back onto whatever Mr. Li was talking about. Something about the French and that Robespierre guy. I looked into my purse to check to see if the contents of it were still there. Everything seemed to be in working order but there was an unfamiliar piece of rainbow stationary there. I quickly took out the paper and read the note: "I tried calling you, but you were moving at hyper speed. Urm, I don't usually do this but do you want to hang out after school?"
I was flabbergasted! She was asking me to hang out? What did I look like? One side of me was retaliating against the very thought of hanging with some weird lezbo, but the other side was telling me to go. "Hang with the girl," it said. I had another quick battle with my mind and I replied back: "Sure, how about riding with me to my house? I don't do much when I go home, but maybe it'll be fun." I folded the note and handed it back to her. I shouldn't have opened my big mouth! I had no idea as to what we would be doing all afternoon. I didn't do much anyway. A few seconds later, I felt Vanessa tap my shoulder, handing me the note. "Okay. I'm sure we can find something to do. See you later! –'nessa"
So she called herself 'Nessa, cute. Wait, no not cute. I'm not supposed to be thinking girls are cute! Stop it Juli! Okay, breathe. Enough with the mental break downs. She's just a girl who wants to hang out. That's not such a big deal. Maybe we'd actually have fun. When the bell sounded to end classes for that day, I turned in my chair and said "are you ready?" She was smiling. I could feel Jessica's eyes on the back of my head, so I turned and there she was glaring a hole through my skull. "So, you're hanging with the dyke today? Never would have guessed…" and she walked out the door. Jeez, I just hate when she does that. How embarrassing? I stood and turned back to Vanessa. She didn't look at all hurt, but I tried to apologize. "Don't trip Juli. I'm straight. So, let's go."
-x-
The ride to my house was short, quick, and quiet. People were staring at me and Vanessa as we were walking together. Did they think I was gay, hanging with the new weird lesbian? "We are just hanging out," I tried telling people telepathically, but I don't think they could hear me. Finally, we arrived at my house. I parked in the garage and got out, closed the door, and sighed. "Here we go," I thought out loud…yet again. I walked to the door and unlocked it. Since I was an only child and my parents were out, we would have the house to ourselves. Oh joy. "Just um…let's go put your stuff in my room then we could get something to eat." Why did I have to sound like I wasn't enjoying myself? We headed down the hall to my room and you just don't know how bad I wanted to jump into my bed! It looked so inviting! Vanessa placed her bag on my desk and sat down in the chair. She started looking around my room. "Good thing you're a neat freak," I thought.
"So, um, maybe this was a bad idea…" Vanessa finally said after five minutes. So far, I've done nothing but just sit on the bed, on the opposite side of the room. "Of course not! Um, tell me about yourself." Wow what a bad line. Suddenly, Vanessa's face lit up into a smile. She launched into this story about how her mom and dad were divorced before she was two and her mom remarrying. Then she told me about life in California and her old school and friends. Then, I asked her, "So, how did you know you liked girls?" I should have slapped myself. Dude, that was rude, but she didn't seem to mind the question. "I guess I started having feelings for girls when I was thirteen. After kissing a friend at a party once, I knew I was a lesbian, no doubt about it. I doubted myself though. How could I explain myself to my friends? It took a while, but I finally came out to my best friend and she was really cool with it. But my mom. She didn't handle the situation so nicely. My step dad was the one telling her to send me to my dad in the first place. So here I am." All I could do was just sit there and frown. My parents would never do that to me. Would they? Vanessa then said, "Now you tell me about yourself."
"Well," I began, "There's nothing to me. I live with my mom and dad who are both very supporting. I've lived here since I was born. I'm a huge nerd… as you can tell I have a vast book collection. I love drawing…" Then I stopped. I was soooo boring! I don't think she'll want to come back over here! "So, what you're saying is that you drew these pictures," Vanessa said. She was looking into my portfolio. "Why did I leave that out!" I mentally choked myself. I never show my work off to anyone. I hate my pictures. "Oh, um, those aren't good. But yeah I did those." Vanessa then smiled a huge kool-aid smile, "These are awesome. Do you think you could draw me?" Then she started posing. I laughed. She then jumped on my bed and did the pose from Titanic. "Well, I doubt if I'd ever draw you nude." Or would I? She then pulled me down onto the bed where we were face to face. Nose to nose. She was breathing deeply. I looked into her eyes and they sparkled. I wanted to kiss her, badly. Then, she moved away and checked her watch. "Oh crap, could you bring me home, I'm late for dinner." Wow, had time flown by the fast? I quickly gathered my thoughts and squeaked, "Yeah, sure. My parents should be home any minute and you could meet them."
