Title: Run Right to the Edge
Characters/Pairings: CR-S01/Maria Torres
Warnings: Language. Nothing worse than what was in the game, though. (There was an instance of this word in Hank's storyline, so yeah)
Comments: This took forever to finish. No, really. It's been in the work since late May. What the hell? All I really have to say for myself is that first SasuSaku Month happened and I was having fun over in the Naruto fandom, then I got distracted by Avatar: the Last Airbender. Oh, and I went on a two week vacation around out around Yellowstone and the Badlands. I never want to see how western US was "won" ever again.
Disclaimer: the Trauma series belongs to Atlus. I own nothing. Title taken from "The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga
"Good job on that operation, Doctor."
"Thank you, Dr. Tachibana."
Maria glanced up as Tomoe and Prisoner CR-S01 entered the break room. She brushed a thin strand of hair behind an ear and watched the two. Maria couldn't help but notice the small gestures. Tomoe tilted her head slightly, her inky hair slipping off her thin shoulders. Her cherry lips made a curve and her eyes closed. He nodded, effortlessly ignoring the shock of black hair in his eyes. His crimson eyes softened as he looked down at the small woman next to him. Tomoe met his gaze, and the two locked eyes.
Maria swallowed hard. Her heart began pumping furiously against her chest. She slammed her book shut, and stood up quickly. The other two doctors looked toward Maria.
"Maria!" Tomoe said alarmed. Maria looked up at her friend slowly.
"I-," she began. Then she looked up at CR-S01. His face was almost completely passive, except for a small twitch in his eyebrows. He stole a look with Tomoe, his eyes flickering to the side, as if he was purposefully ignoring Maria. Maria felt a pang shoot from her navel. She swallowed again and stormed through the door.
Why did it hurt? she wondered as she wandered aimlessly through the halls. Why did seeing those two like that hurt? It shouldn't. Maria had never been one to fall head over heels for boys. She prided herself in this. After all, they would just drag her down. But him?
Maria had to admit, she didn't like him when he first came. It might have been how he didn't show any emotion, or the fact that he was a convict. It was shortly after he came to the old ward that she started unconsciously taking note of every little quirk. The way he would twitch the muscles in his cheeks to clear the hair from his eyes, a slight shuffling of his feet after a tiresome operation; they were all heightened in Maria's eyes. During the Rosalia outbreak, Maria grew more attached. She saw the pain in his eyes at the mention of his adoptive father, she cried for him at Rosalia's floral grave. As she watched him work on Naomi's heart, something inside her fluttered. She didn't want to acknowledge it, but there it was, regardless.
The same hypersensitivity applied to his interactions with a certain endoscopic surgeon. Not that Maria had anything against Tomoe. The girl was one of Maria's closest friends. But that didn't stop Maria from feeling bad as, well…
Maria grimaced and turned the corner sharply, running right into something tall and very solid.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Maria yelled in her typical way.
"Why don't you?" a voice admonished. Looking up, Maria saw Dr. Cunningham, an unlit cigarette hanging limply from the corner of his mouth, his hair nesting around his head and leaning languidly on one leg.
"I'm sorry," Maria looked down, filled with such inexplicable, utterly female emotions that could only be attested to mood swings.
"Maria? Apologizing? Are you feeling okay?" Gabe laughed and pressed a hand to her forehead.
Maria sighed dejectedly and pushed Gabe's hand away. "I'm just tired right now."
"Maria," Gabe's voice became more concerned, "you are never tired. What's wrong?"
"And why should I tell you?" Maria scowled.
"Maybe it will be cathartic? Who knows?" Gabe shrugged. "Come, let's go to the roof."
Maria found herself following him, almost like a baby duck. As much as she fought with Gabe, she had a sort of grudging respect for him. His caustic, dry sort of humor amused her, and although his parental issues were infuriating (and somewhat of a trigger for her) she had to admit he did have more experience in a lot of things.
Once they were on the roof, the pair simply sat in the quiet for awhile. The sky was stained pure blue, with daubs of cloud scattered across. The sun beat spring rays on them. Maria closed her eyes. It was always relaxing on the roof. Gabe didn't talk. He just looked at Maria expectantly.
"Have you ever liked someone? Well, of course you did, you have a kid. Well, I have that problem. Except, I think he likes someone else," Maria started quietly.
Gabe nodded. "And what makes you think that?"
"Well, it's kinda obvious. It just looks all lovey-dovey mushy around them. All the time," Maria tried to not let her resentment show, but that didn't seem to work.
Gabe removed the cigarette from his mouth and twirled it between his thumb and pointer finger. "If we're thinking of the same person, and I think we are, then I have to say," he stopped and let the cigarette droop into his palm, "you are blind."
"What?" Maria said, her voice measured.
"I mean, that you can't see the signs in front of you and are instead seeing things that aren't really there."
"That doesn't make any sense," Maria's voice started to waver.
"Well, I don't know your whole past. Maybe you have some sort of block to admitting these things?" Gabe looked at her with his clinical gaze.
"That's stupid," Maria grumbled.
"Then why don't you pretend I'm him, and tell me what you want to say," Gabe turned toward her.
Maria stared dumbfounded. "That is ridiculous."
Gabe looked at her.
"You're completely serious," Maria sighed. "Fine."
"I've been mean to you, and stuff… but…" Maria stopped. "This is dumb."
"Maybe, but just do it."
"Okay. I know you don't remember much of your childhood, but you know those crushes you have in grade school? Well, this is more than that. When I talk to you I get all nervous and clammy. And that's stupid when I'm supposed to be working or helping you. Anyway, I think that I care about you too damn much. And… maybe…"
"Go on."
"Maybe… I love you."
"Good job, Maria. Now, just tell him that," Gabe stood up and started to walk to the stairs. "Hey, it's the kid, right?"
Tomoe watched Maria leave the room, confused. She really didn't understand Maria sometimes; the paramedic was too unpredictable. But Tomoe could still tell something was wrong. It had been for a while now. Tomoe furrowed her eyebrows.
"Hm, what is the matter with her," she murmured to herself pensively.
"Is she alright?" the prisoner, CR-S01 asked concerned. Tomoe didn't know his real name. No one did. The topic was approached in the same manner one would approach a nuclear meltdown. That is to say, very cautiously. The general attitude in the hospital was that he would tell his name when he was ready.
"I'm not sure. Perhaps we should try and find her," Tomoe said thoughtfully, lifting a finger to her chin. "It would be against the Path of Honor to abandon a friend when they are distressed."
CR-S01 nodded briskly and left the room, his coat flying behind him. Tomoe watched him leave, before bringing her hands together with a swift cracking sound.
"Yes, Lady Tomoe," Hanzou said, bowing slightly as he slid effortlessly before her.
"It seems our suspicions about Maria were correct. Shall we help Dr. CR-S01 find her?" Tomoe's voice lilted with a tinge of amusement.
Hanzou nodded. "That would be prudent, m'lady."
Tomoe smiled and walked leisurely out the door. "They will be together soon enough."
CR-S01 walked fast through the halls of Resurgam, his eyes darting around for a flash of yellow and green, his ears attuned for her commanding, intense voice. His mind focused on one goal: find Maria. What would come after, he didn't know. The only thing that was important right now was finding her.
As he rounded a corner, he thought of the look of pain she wore before she dashed out the door. It wasn't the malformations of physical pain, but the deep sadness of emotional pain. The pain that whispered through eyes and in fake smiles. The pain that he used to see everyday as he looked in anything reflective. He wanted to know why her eyes suddenly looked so morose, why the fire in them had turned to less than a flicker. That was why he needed to find her.
His feelings for the paramedic were confusing, some of the most confusing feelings he felt since operating again. The desire to save, to rescue a life from the brink of death, he could deal with. It was relatively straightforward, and easy to understand. He wanted to save because he was a doctor, simple as that. Maria, however, made him feel a strange, potent combination of clashing feelings: the desire to protect and be protected, to save and be saved, to touch and be touched, to love and be loved. But it couldn't be love, could it? He was so out-of-touch with those feelings, that the things he felt now scared him.
Down the hall, the two nurses, clad in blue and pink, were leaning against the wall, sharing a few words before heading off to the next patient. They turned their heads as CR made his way to them.
"Doctor, are you all right?" the woman, a sweet girl named Emma, said, startled.
"I'm all right, but I'm looking for Dr. Torres. Do you know where she went?" CR said sharply.
The man, Darnell, pointed down the hall. "I saw her and Dr. Cunningham head for the roof a while ago. It wasn't too long, maybe, oh, I don't know, ten minutes? Give or take."
"Thank you," CR said, nodding, and went to the stairwell to the roof, pulling the flat, metallic handle to the large door quickly and dashing up the stairs. He climbed with choppy steps, his identification card bouncing on his chest. Giving the top door a shove, he slipped through.
"Maybe… I love you."
CR heard her voice, low yet airy with a tinge of awkwardness. He looked to the
scene ahead of him, strange tension building in his chest. Maria sat on the sun bleached concrete, her legs dangling precariously over the edge. Her gaze was turned to his, her eyebrows softened to crescents and sweetness in her eyes. Gabe stood closer to the door, looking as effortlessly lazy as always.
Gabe coughed, biting the area of his finger between the knuckles. Maria's eyes widened and she threw her head around to meet CR's.
"I… uh… buh," she stuttered, the look on her face a cross between embarrassment and outright insanity.
"Maria," CR said quietly.
She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her bright green eyes large. CR swallowed hard.
"I wasn't… shit," she growled, grabbing her hair with her hand.
CR looked from the clearly flustered woman in front of him to Gabe, who seemed to be poorly holding back laughter. The tension in his chest broke, leaving a sweeping fire burning up his body. He turned to try and leave.
"Wait," her voice was urgent as her hand wrapped around his wrist. The leather and cloth of her gloves rubbed against the slivers of bare skin from his white jumpsuit.
He looked to Maria, demanding an explanation.
She took a deep breath.
"GABE! LEAVE!" she yelled, pointing to the door. Gabe winked and raised his fingers in a mock salute before Maria literally growled at him and he made his escape.
"Sorry about that. I just couldn't do this with that jerk nearby," she said, dropping his wrist. The tension came back with viciousness when she did so.
"I was upset when I saw you and Tomoe, cause you looked like you were, you know, together," Maria began her explanation, shifting her weight back and forth.
"That's-"
"Ridiculous? Maybe. Either way, I ran away. And then I bumped into Gabe and he made me come here to do some soul-searching shit. And talk about feelings and… yeah." She pursed her lips.
"I guess I've known for some time now. I get all nervous around you, and I certainly don't want to see you hurt. No, I never want to see you hurt. In any way. Even in prison. I just don't. But I'm not the kind of person to just declare feelings like that, so I kept it locked up. And I don't know if you feel the same at all, but, I just wanna know what it's like," she nearly whispered.
"What?"
Maria looked up to meet his eyes, and in that one second they were locked together, like lock and key. She curved one corner of her mouth up. Then, she leaned forward and kissed him. His eyes widened as she pressed mouth to his. She was kissing him. She was kissing him. Far too soon, she pulled back, breathing heavily.
"That," she said, the smile on her face barely visible, "was not a decent kiss on either of our parts."
He shrugged.
"So, I guess now is when you tell me I'm being stupid or whatnot," she muttered.
He shook his head.
"So, what?" she scowled at him.
"I liked it, Maria," CR said, taking her hand. Her lips made an "o".
"Let's try that again," she said flirtatiously then pulled him into a deep kiss.
